


Parenthetical Love

by LyricalKris



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-06
Updated: 2010-08-06
Packaged: 2017-11-08 01:42:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 140,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/437736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalKris/pseuds/LyricalKris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella wasn't interested in finding a father for her baby-to-be. Edward wasn't interested in being a father at all. The accidents that can make a parent don't always happen between the sheets, but will they make the best of it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o82/lyricalkris/Twilight%20Fanfic%20Stuff/?action=view&current=bannerLyricalKris.png)

**Prologue**

**Dedication: I dedicate this chapter to my lovely Twitter wife Makkitotosimew (Say that three times fast).**

**Disclaimer: I donut own them. Stephenie does, and I'm so glad she shared them with us.**

**Bella**

Jasper Whitlock's lips pursed in a whistle as Bella Swan pulled up with her new car. "Wow," he said, looking it over once before climbing into the passenger seat. "Sensible  _and_ sexy," he flashed her his signature, dazzling grin, "Just like you, sugar."

Bella rolled her eyes but smiled at her best friend as they pulled out of the lot. "It's good then?"

"Well, yeah Bella. It's real nice. Drives smooth. Lotsa dohickeys," he gestured at the various features on the dash. Then he looked closer. "Is that a GPS? And what do you need a DVD player for? Those things are to keep kids occupied."

A little uncomfortable, Bella shrugged. "It came with the car," she mumbled. Luckily for her, Jasper was too busy fiddling with buttons to notice that she was blushing.

He chuckled as he looked over at her again. "You're always a surprise."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, you finally get rid of that monstrosity -"

"Hey!" Bella protested. "Old rule still stands. Just because the truck is dead doesn't mean that you can make fun of it. I love that thing. I miss that thing."

"That thing should have been outlawed in California - I mean, how did you not get murdered on the freeway? Being unable to drive over 50 miles an hour is a crime here, you know." Jasper fixed her with a disparaging look before continuing, "Anyway, you get rid of that fine piece of rusted metal with personality, and anyone else would be looking for two seats convertible top - you know, a big cock on wheels."

"It's got a moon roof," Bella said, pointing upward with one hand.

They pulled into the restaurant parking lot and miraculously found a space. Bella heard Jasper's deep chuckle again as he stared at the car, hands on his hips. "Well, at least you know what to name it."

Bella looked at the car and back at Jasper questioningly. Her best friend mimed as if he was breaking a champagne bottle over the car, "I christen thee, Elton."

"Elton?" Bella raised one thin eyebrow.

Jasper nodded solemnly. "Because you can never park straight," he explained, indicating her admittedly crooked parking job.

Bella scowled. "Why Elton? Why not Ellen then?"

As they started walking toward the restaurant Jasper leaned in close so he could tease her. "Because you need a man in your life."

"Ha," Bella snarked. Jasper knew very well her opinions on the matter of significant others, male or otherwise. They'd had this argument over and over again, Jasper sighing that she was such a great gal and Bella replying that if she was so great, it would be shame to choose just one guy. It would break too many hearts, she said, and so she wouldn't do it.

Jasper always ended up mildly exasperated.

Before they could get into it the hostess arrived and showed them to their seats.

"So," Jasper began, the picture of nonchalance as he glanced at his menu. Unfortunately for him, Bella knew that Jasper liked exactly one dish at every restaurant they frequented. He didn't need to look at the menu, and that meant he was nervous about something. "Have you had a chance to look at the script I sent you?"

Bella sighed, knowing this was coming. She reached into her bag and pulled out the few pages he'd e-mailed to her that morning. "I can't do it. This, this right here? It's unworkable, Jasper. It reads like a five year old wrote it."

"Bella," Jasper began, but Bella cut him off.

"I don't want to hear the story of who needs this done. I don't care if Aro's kid wrote it-"

This time it was Jasper who cut her off. "Aro's kid  _did_ write it."

Bella instantly slumped in her seat, a hand over her eyes. "Jane?" she asked weakly, peeking through her eyes. Jasper nodded. "Ah, dammit."

"Exactly," he agreed. "Look. You do this and you'll have a very powerful man in your pocket, Ace."

Bella sighed.

The truth of the matter was that Bella was at the top of her game and she knew it. She was young with plenty of talent and nothing but open doors. She didn't  _need_ Aro Scarpinato as an ace up her sleeve.

However, what she did need was for Jasper to be in a good mood. She had a request. A favor. It was a big one. A doozie, as he might say. She sighed again. "This isn't why I asked you to come here" she reminded, deflecting from their current conversation.

"Are you gonna get this done for me?" Jasper countered.

"Yeah, Jasper. Of course. Work the impossible. I will turn disjointed writing into genius comedy, For you" she emphasized, exasperated. "Not because it's the big boss' kid."

"Then by all means, tell me what you brought me here for, Hells Bells," Jasper said, and she could hear the grin in his voice.

The waiter, demonstrating perfect timing, arrived then, getting their drink and meal orders. When he left Jasper looked back at Bella, pursing his lips when he noticed she wasn't looking at him. She was looking anywhere _but_  him as she bit her lip and twisted her napkin in her hands. "This is serious," he stated, a sick kind of dread pooling in the pit of his stomach. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Yes," Bella said quickly. "Yes, I'm fine. It's not that kind of serious."

"Alright, well you're kind of scaring me now. Spit it out," Jasper said softly.

Bella sighed and straightened up, taking a deep breath. "Alright," she said, mostly to herself. "Look, here's the thing. You know how I feel about relationships?"

Looking a little surprised at the direction their conversation was going, Jasper nodded. "No interest," he summarized, waving his hand to indicate she should continue.

"Right. Well, I've been thinking about this, and while I don't have any interest in a relationship with a guy,  _or a girl_ ," she said quickly, knowing that Jasper had suggested she try the fairer sex in the past, "I do want to be a mother."

She was looking away from him again and so couldn't see him as silence stretched on between them. "What are you saying, Bella?" Jasper asked finally, quietly.

"I'm saying that I want to do it on my own. But, obviously, I need... the other half. I'm asking you to contribute...the other half," she said awkwardly, finally looking up at him.

Jasper blinked, completely shell shocked. "You're asking me to be your baby daddy?" he squeaked, his mouth working about five times faster than his brain could.

Bella had to laugh then and she covered her face with her hands as she tittered nervously. "No. I mean, of course I want you to be involved in my kid's life, but more as an honorary uncle than a dad," she explained.

Their drinks came then, giving Jasper the minute he needed to process Bella's request. "This isn't because of your dad, is it Bells?" he asked softly.

Bella chuffed. "No."

"Are you sure, baby girl? Because this is one thing you have to be sure of. It's a lifetime commitment," he said sincerely, ducking his head to try and see the look in her eyes. "I mean, you're 26 years old. That's really young to make a decision to have a baby by yourself."

"I know that, Jasper. It's not a decision I'm making lightly," she said, raising her eyes to meet his finally. He could see nothing but determination in them.

Of course, with Bella, once she'd made up her mind she was hard to shake. "I just want to make sure you're doing what's best for you."

"You sound like my mom," Bella sighed.

"Have you spoken to your mom or dad about this?" Jasper asked.

"No. I don't want anyone to know but you," Bella replied almost instantly.

"Well," Jasper said slowly, "I'm going to have to tell Peter. You know, he's the only one that has a right to know what I do with my spunk."

Bella's head shot up. "Are you saying yes?"

"Of course, sugar," Jasper drawled, grinning at her. "You know there isn't a lot I wouldn't do for you. If this is what you want, then of course I'm going to help you any way I can."

Bella's grin was almost as wide as his then. "Jasper...thank you," she said, jumping up and wrapping her arms around him.

He laughed full out as he pulled her close. "We're going to make a beautiful baby, doll. It won't be fair at all."

**Edward**

One of the benefits about being a big brother as opposed to a parent was that you were allowed to call favorites. Emmett Cullen most definitely had a favorite sibling.

When he was five and his parents had learned they were expecting twins - a boy and a girl - everyone had expected Emmett to want a little brother more. He did - until the moment he laid eyes on his baby sister for the first time.

Their first family photo was taken hours after the twins' birth. Esme, tired but glowing, sat up in bed cradling newborn Edward in one arm with her other protectively around Emmett's shoulders. Carlisle was on Emmett's other side, his hand coming across Emmett's lap, holding Emmett as the little boy held Rosalie.

Emmett had a huge, dimpled grin as he stared at his sister.

As soon as Rosalie could support her neck, Emmett was always holding her. Even after the twins learned to walk, Emmett preferred to carry Rosalie, or let her ride ponyback.

At first, Carlisle and Esme worried that Edward would feel slighted. But Edward was fiercely independent, even as a small child. As soon as he could crawl, he actually preferred it to being held. And it wasn't as if Emmett was completely inattentive to Edward. They had a good relationship - roughhousing, as boys tended to. Emmett loved to tease his little brother, which lead to Edward perfecting his eye roll very early in life.

Besides that, Edward and Rosalie had the close relationship that most twins were prone to. They were as different as night and day in most respects, which lead to some truly spectacular fights when they were teenagers. Still, it was obvious that they were cut from the same cloth. Their sense of humor was darker and more sarcastic than their brother's loud, grinning nature. They preferred their piano to Emmett's experiments (their parents had made the mistake of buying Emmett a chemistry set - he'd singed his eyebrows off), and pouring over auto magazines the way Emmett collected baseball cards. On their own, they were prone to fits of temper and moodiness. When they coordinated their bad moods, well... let it be said that the Cullen household got a little noisy with the heated arguments that arose during their teen years.

Though they had all moved on to their own things, the family still got together nearly every weekend. Of course, as could be expected with time, they had added to their number.

If Rosalie was Emmett's favorite, Edward was certainly his children's favorite.

Emmett and his wife, Tanya, had gorgeous twin girls: Irina and Katrina. The three year olds utterly adored their uncle. As soon as their parents had unleashed them from their car seats they were out of the car, pounding up the steps and straight into Edward's waiting arms.

"We don't have little girls, we have monkeys," Tanya said wryly, watching the girls climb on their uncle as if he were a jungle gym.

"Who knows where they get it from," Emmett replied innocently, kissing his wife on the nose a split second before an adult sized streak of blond hair threw itself into his arms. "Rosie!"

Tanya rolled her eyes, watching Emmett swapped Rosalie around to his back as he gave his little sister a piggy back ride into the house. "I'm sure it doesn't run in the family at all."

A few minutes later Rosalie and Emmett were on the couch, watching TV in the living room and Tanya had wandered to the kitchen to see if she could help with dinner. Edward wandered in, walking awkwardly with one of the twins wrapped around each of his legs, sitting on his feet. His siblings laughed as he pretended to try to shake the girls loose.

Finally, they extricated themselves and ran off to play in the playroom their grandparents had set up for them. Edward flopped down on the couch on the other side of Rosalie.

"You're going to make a good dad someday," Rosalie said, her voice quieter than usual because she was nervous.

Edward raised an eyebrow, appraising her mood. "Why, because I know how to play with kids? That's the easy part," he said, stretching his arms above his head as he got comfortable. "I'll stick to uncle-ing, thanks. But you already knew that."

It was true. Edward had been saying the same thing since he was in his teens. He had no interest in being a father himself. He adored his nieces and would welcome as many nieces and nephews as his siblings wanted to give him, but for himself - he had no desire for kids.

"You really are sure about that, aren't you?" Rosalie asked. On most things, she could at least understand where her twin was coming from. This, though, they had never agreed on and she didn't understand at all. Ever since she was small, she'd known she wanted to be someone's mother.

"I haven't changed my mind in a decade," he pointed out. He tilted his head, studying his sister intently. "What's up?" he asked, because he could see there was something on her mind.

Rosalie took a steadying breath and snatched the TV remote out of Emmett's hand, turning the TV off. "Hey!" Emmett protested, but he quickly quieted when he saw the serious expression on Rosalie's face.

"There isn't really an easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it. My relationship is stable and good, and we'd like to start a family. We want to get pregnant. Soon. As soon as possible, really. And," she sucked in a quick breath, looking up at Edward before continuing in a rush, "We want you to be the donor."

For about two seconds, Edward and Emmett just stared at her, then both brothers started talking at once.

Well, Edward stuttered and Emmett said, "You want Edward to knock you up... that's... gross."

Rosalie and Edward rolled their eyes simultaneously. "Not me, idiot," Rosalie said. "Alice."

Emmett blinked. "But..she'd tip over. Her belly would be bigger than she is!"

Ignoring their brother completely, Edward sat up and faced his twin. "You seriously want me to do this?"

Rosalie nodded, a small smile on her face as her eyes grew wistful. "We want a child that's part both of us and we do have the same genetic make-up."

"Hey, I have the same genetic make-up too," Emmett pointed out, looking a little hurt.

"Right, but think about it Emmett. You have kids," she said, rapping her knuckles gently against Emmett's furrowed forehead. "This is going to make a few headlines as it is, I don't want my kids to have to put up with people finding out their cousins are also their sisters."

Emmett considered this. "That makes sense."

"What would it entail?" Edward asked softly.

"You know. You go to a clinic-" Rosalie began but Emmett interrupted.

"They milk your man-juice, dude. By hand," Emmett quipped.

"Emmett!" Rosalie growled. "Shut. Up!" she hit him on the shoulder. She turned back to her twin with a sigh. "Just a cup, Edward, alright? Your...stuff in a little plastic cup gets mixed with Alice's egg and they stick it into Alice -  _with a needle, Emmett_!" she said quickly before Emmett could make a distasteful joke.

It wasn't often either of them saw their sister blush.

Edward stared at his hands, his eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it. A minute ticked by like a day. Then he took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah. Let's do it."

**A/N: Oh, my. So, I'm going on a cruise (the Twilight cruise! Fun!) for a week, so I guesstimate that this will start updating regularly (and by that I mean every 1-2 weeks) in two weeks time.**

**Thank you to my lovely Josieswan. I know I'm a needy wench and thank you for your beta work, etc.**

**So. Thoughts? Speculation? Monkeys? Hit the button. If nothing else, it's my birthday on Friday and your opening opinions would be the best present ever!**

**Unless you want to give me Rob or Jackson…that would probably be the best present ever.**

**I'm just saying.**

**  
**


	2. She's Having A Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I donut own them. Stephenie does, and I'm so glad she shared them with us.

Bella was having a bad day. It was just one of those days where nothing could go right; she should have ignored the snooze button, turned the alarm off all together and just gone back to sleep. Then again, it was missing her snooze button that had started this mess of a day in the first place. She should have slept for an additional five minutes, instead she woke up two hours later. The freeways, as could frequently be depended on in Los Angeles, were jam packed.

When she arrived at Studio 13, where she worked as a production assistant for the entertainment news show,  _Access Entertainment,_  there was chaos all around her - more than the usual amount, which was saying something.

"Where the fuck have you  _been,_ Swan?" Her boss, Victoria Glenn screeched at her the second she came in the door. She proceeded to fill Bella in on the situation - one of their big stories had fallen through and they had a gap that needed filling yesterday.

It was harder than usual to bite her tongue and not respond. There were not a lot of people who could get away with talking to her like that but, unfortunately, Victoria was one of them. What pissed Bella off even more about the whole situation was that, by necessity, Victoria was not only one of exactly four people who knew that Bella was trying to get pregnant - and how - but she was also the one person that Bella had to keep in good graces.

Knowing full well that her question was not going to be taken well, Bella resigned herself to hear more screaming. "I'll do what I can while I'm here, Ms. Glenn, but I have an appointment today at three," she said in a rush.

As predicted, Victoria hit the roof, but there wasn't much she could do. One of the reasons that Victoria was fond of screaming at Bella was simply because she felt threatened. A couple of years previous, Bella had been the lowest of the low - one of the office assistants whose job it was to basically run where she was told to run and jump when she was told to jump. Put it this way - Bella Swan knew every conceivable drink combination in Starbucks by heart. Then Bella had accidentally stumbled onto a big, big story and the president of the studio himself, Aro Scarpinato, had promoted her to her current position. His daughter, Jane, had submitted a segment script for the studio's comedy show, _Friday Night Delayed_ , where Jasper worked as a producer. After Bella had cleaned up -not to mention actually made funny- the aforementioned script, she was all but untouchable... and Victoria knew it.

Of course, Victoria spent the next several hours making Bella's life a living hell.

It was all the worse because, in preparation for all the restrictions pregnancy would put on her, Bella had already stopped indulging in things like caffeinated beverages. She would have killed for a strong coffee or a Red Bull to get her through the morning.

Time passed, both too slow and too quickly, and finally Bella had been sent to retrieve a celebrity who had agreed to a spur of the moment interview. They couldn't get back to the studio soon enough. Bella was about to become  _Access Entertainment_ 's hot news item as she was this close to pushing a celebrity out of her car.

Knowing she was just going to be a minute, Bella parked in front of the building. She unloaded her thoroughly irritating passenger, and got her safely to the studio. Finally, it was time to leave.

Sending a text to Jasper to meet her outside, Bella stepped into the main hallway of the Studio. As soon as the doors opened, a furious voice assaulted her ears.

Sharing the studio with  _Access Entertainmen_ t and  _Friday Night Delayed_  was the daytime talk show  _Rose!_  Rosalie Hale was a former model turned talk show host in the style of Tyra Banks. Rosalie Hale was a complete and utter diva.

Rosalie Hale also had completely legitimate reasons to hate Bella. It wasn't Bella's fault, but Rosalie had never stopped to listen to her side of the story. Hence, Bella tried to steer clear of the talk show vixen if at all possible.

It looked like it wouldn't be possible today. It seemed that someone was blocking Rosalie's car, and she was not very happy about it.

"I have a very important appointment!" Rosalie was yelling to two of her wide-eyed, completely frightened looking assistants.

 _Probably her masseuse or her pilates instructor,_ Bella thought bitterly. Like most divas, it seemed to Bella that Rosalie thought everything about her life was more important than everyone else's. She rolled her eyes and cleared her throat reluctantly to get the other woman's attention. "Um, Ms. Hale?"

Rosalie's head snapped toward her and the temperature in the room seemed to drop perceptibly. "What do  _you_ want?" she snapped.

Bella took a deep breath, already at her limit of people screaming at her for the day. "It's my car that's parked behind yours, I'm sure. I'm just leaving now, so -"

"What?" Rosalie yelled, furious.

"I apologize," Bella said sincerely. "I knew I wasn't going to be gone for more than a minute and..." she cut off, noticing that Rosalie was turning an unhealthy shade of puce. "Uh, anyway. I'm moving it now."

Before the ex-model could say another word, Bella pivoted and made her way to the door as quickly as she could without breaking out into a run. She was annoyed with herself for being intimidated by Rosalie. Even though she knew it was frustrating to be blocked in, Bella hadn't been gone for more than a few minutes - five at most - so Rosalie couldn't possibly have been  _that_ inconvenienced.

Luckily, Jasper was already waiting by the door of her car when she exited the building.

"Sugar, we are going to have to rename your car if you insist on missing parking spaces completely," he quipped.

"Not a good time, Jasper," she muttered, hitting the unlock button on her keyfob.

To his credit, Jasper's grin immediately turned serious as he read the harried look on Bella's face. "What's wrong?"

Bella just shook her head, not wanting to put her fears into words. Instead she asked Jasper if he was hungry as they still had time for fast food before they had to be elsewhere.

Her fear and her frustration were running parallel right about then. Her fear was that on this Murphy's Law day - if anything that could go wrong, would go wrong - there was no point in going to the clinic where she and Jasper had their appointment today.

Therein lay Bella's frustration. Logically, she knew that her chances of conceiving were 20% or less each time they tried. They had only tried twice so far. Two months. Still, she just wasn't used to not reaching a goal she'd set. She was frustrated by the uncertainty of it all, but she preferred this method to the more intrusive, more complicated,  _in vitro_  fertilization.

It was, regrettably, more inconvenient to Jasper, which frustrated her to no end.

"Bella," Jasper said, exasperated as they walked into the clinic, "Will you quit apologizing? You act like you should have some control over your uterus."

"I just... I hate cutting into your day on such short notice," she explained.

He sighed and turned, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Sweetheart, I'm just going to say this once so pay attention, okay? When I agreed to do this for you, I agreed to every part of it. I'm in it for the long haul, Hells Bells. I read all the fine print. I knew what I was signing up for. So cut it the fuck out with the guilt, you got it?" He tilted his head, looking her in the eye warningly. "I'm serious, Bella. You have enough on your plate. Don't worry about me."

At that she had to smile, and Jasper stroked her cheek once tenderly before releasing her. They checked in and got settled down to wait for their turn. Jasper shrugged out of his coat.

"I thought Peter was out of town," Bella said, looking confused.

Jasper furrowed his eyebrows. "He is."

"Then why are you wearing your 'I'm getting lucky date-night shirt?" Bella asked disapprovingly, looking at the sleeveless, faux-leather number that showed off Jasper's muscular arms and the tattoos that decorated each shoulder.

Understanding lit his face as his lips quirked up in a grin. He raised an eyebrow indicating she was missing something obvious.

It took a minute, but then Bella got it. She blushed scarlet and quickly looked away. "I can feel it, doll. My boys are going to score tonight," he assured her, squeezing her hand comfortingly.

Unbeknownst to the friends, Edward Cullen was eavesdropping on their conversation. It wasn't something he meant to do - it's just that he was sitting right behind them, and their conversation had piqued his interest.

The people who came into this clinic always interested Edward with their varied and mixed stories. Some were like his sister and her partner - same sex couples who were looking for a way to have a child of their own. Some were couples who were having trouble conceiving and needed help that nature hadn't given them. Some were women going at it alone with frozen samples of men they'd likely never meet, whose profile they'd chosen out of a book.

It seemed to Edward that every person's story was different and fascinating. He was amusing himself, as he waited for the doctor to call him in for his part, by trying to figure out the story of the couple he was eavesdropping on.

They seemed close. The man teased the woman about the ability to knock a woman up being the essence of manliness. She quipped dryly back that maybe that's why it hadn't worked so far. Edward couldn't help but smirk at her quick responses. This woman was witty and funny. He was struck by a curiously warm sensation at the sound of her laughter... that he pushed away quickly, dismissing it.

Still, their closeness seemed to be on a friend level. They were comfortable with each other, but not intimate as lovers would be.

Edward was interrupted from his musing when a door opened and the nurse called, "Isabella Swan." Curious, he craned his neck as discreetly as he could.

Isabella Swan turned out to be a petite woman with long brown hair and, well, a very nice ass. She turned, right before she walked through the door the nurse was holding open. She was, in Edward's estimation, very pretty. Her smile was shy as she looked back at her male companion, as if for encouragement. Then she was gone.

It didn't occur to Edward until a few seconds later that his breath had caught in his throat, and then he was choking and gasping for air.

Strange.

Shaking off that odd sensation, Edward stood and quickly crossed to the water cooler in the front corner of the room. He filled the little paper cup with water and gulped it greedily, wondering what had just come over him. When he sat again, he opted for a seat closer to the door - directly opposite Isabella's companion.

"Are you alright?" the honey-blond haired man asked solicitously.

Edward nodded. "Just trying to breathe through the wrong tube, I suppose," he said, his voice scratchy from his coughing fit.

The other man chuckled. "Happens sometimes."

There was silence between the two for a few moments before the other man spoke. "So, tell me to fuck off it it's too personal, but what are you in for?" he asked, gesturing around them.

Edward raised an eyebrow, "That is pretty personal," he said, not unkindly.

The other man shrugged, smiling apologetically. "It's amazing to me, you know? I mean, it doesn't matter how you go about it - we're creating life here, or trying to anyway."

"I know what you mean," Edward agreed. He thought carefully, trying to figure if he was betraying any confidences. Then he looked up, "I'm trying to help my sister and her partner have a baby," he said finally.

The blond man grinned - a wide grin full of teeth. "See - now that's beautiful." A curious expression came over his face. "That fuck with your head at all? I mean, technically you'd be your baby's father and uncle, right?"

Edward pursed his lips, wondering if he wanted to go into this with a perfect stranger. "It's not my baby, man. It's theirs. I'm just contributing a little DNA. Essentially the same amount of DNA, technically, as if my sister could be the father, you know?"

"I'm with you," the other man said, nodding. "You have little ones of your own?"

"No," Edward answered, amused rather than irritated at the stranger's inquisitiveness. "I'm a perpetual uncle. I don't want to be a dad."

The stranger tilted his head, his expression still curious - thankfully not the sad or pitying expression that so many others had worn when Edward made this declaration. "Why? If you don't mind me asking."

"Oh, it's a pretty complicated thing, raising a child. You know, we're past the point, in our timeline, where it's a necessity for  _everyone_ to breed. Then, of course, you're contending with not only your own opinions but the opinions of the other half of the kid. Not for nothing, but I don't happen to agree with 99.9% of people on much of anything - I wouldn't want to put a kid through that. So, between the fact that you're making a lifetime commitment, and the added complication of having to raise the kid with someone else..." Edward trailed off and then looked up at the stranger. "I made a decision a long time ago to take myself out of the Dad-pool."

Surprisingly, the stranger gave an amused laugh. "You remind me a lot of my friend…the woman I'm doing this for," he explained. "She thinks similarly to you - that's why she wants to have a baby on her own. She says that relationships are really hard work and not a lot of people understand that. The way she figures, she's got enough on her plate working at her job, and issues with her family."

"It's a strange thing," Edward mused after a moment, briefly wondering what he would do if he could have a child on his own. "How do you choose who you want to ask?"

"Well, we've been friends forever … she knows she can trust me." He rolled his eyes then, an adoring look coming over his face. "Plus, and if you knew her you'd understand, she wouldn't ask anyone if she couldn't return the favor. She's told me time and again she'd be the surrogate if ever Peter and I wanted to. If you ask me it's not the same thing at all. Pregnancy doesn't seem pleasant where as this," he gestured around them again, "this is not going to be painful at all."

"Plus it's over in a few minutes," Edward agreed.

The stranger leaned back in his seat, feigning insult. "Speak for yourself, buddy. My performances have been known to run all night long."

At first, Edward was shocked. Then he couldn't help but laugh. Before he could come back from that, the door behind them opened again. "Jasper Whitlock and Edward Cullen?"

They both stood. "Good luck," Jasper said, offering Edward his hand.

"Same to you," Edward returned sincerely, shaking the other man's hand firmly.

~0~

**Almost Two Weeks Later**

Bella had wanted as few people to know she was trying to get pregnant as possible. Unfortunately, Jacob Black, her other best friend, knew her entirely too well.

He certainly knew that for her to be turning down sushi, something had to be wrong. Bella loved sushi. So he had prodded until she had finally blurted out the truth.

"Come on, Jake, say something," Bella pleaded.

"No, I'm just… thrown," Jacob admitted. "I mean, you're so young to go at it like this. Since when are you so desperate to be a mom?"

Bella sighed and slumped a little in her seat. "I'm not…desperate. I just don't see any reason why  _not_ right now. I make good money; I can support a kid. I… I want to be a mom."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Why do you sound like you're trying to convince yourself?"

"Ugh," Bella growled "Look, Jacob don't go there, okay? Done is done, and it's too late to change my mind even if I wanted to- which I don't. We went in for the third try almost two weeks ago. If you can't be supportive right now, can we just change the subject?"

"Easy, Bells," he placated, looking apologetic. "You just surprised me is all. Of course I'm here for you. I think you'll be a great mom; I just wasn't expecting it."

Bella relaxed a little, and then almost laughed at the perplexed look on his face. "What is it?"

"Well…how did you choose the frozen pop?" he asked, tactless as always.

Then Bella really did laugh. "No frozen pop," she said. "It's all done live in this case. I have to come in within twenty-four hours of…. Jake, are you sure you want to hear this?"

"No," he admitted, "But I'm curious."

"We go in within twenty-four hours of ovulation. He … you know, contributes a semen sample," Bella mumbled quickly, blushing furiously. "The doctors 'clean' the sample and then they insert it in me – via catheter."

"Oh," Jacob said, thinking it over. "No turkey baster then, huh?"

"Jake!" she protested, covering her face with her hands.

Jacob laughed. "No, that's… well, who's 'he' then?"

There was a pause as Bella took a breath. "Jasper," she admitted, putting her hands down on her lap. "You know – I just figured that would be less complicated. There's no one I trust and love on the planet more than you and him. But I figured you and Lizzie… well, I figured that could get weird when you and Lizzie have kids. Plus, when Peter and Jasper want to have kids I could totally be a surrogate for them – you know, fair play."

"No, I get it," Jacob said sincerely. He smiled thoughtfully. "I think I'm glad you didn't ask me. I would have had to say no."

Bella raised an eyebrow, surprised and a little hurt. "Really?"

"Nothing to do with you, Bells," he assured. "Just… I don't think I could have a kid out there and not … be a father to him. You know?"

She nodded. "No, I get that. Not everyone can be a donor." He nodded and she grinned. "Just as well, anyway. I wouldn't want kids with your ugly mug."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure. You know Bella, you've always been a horrible liar."

The two continued to talk, and Bella found herself relaxing more as Jacob got more excited about the prospect of being an honorary uncle. He was already talking about taking the little boy- or girl-to-be with him to the car shows he frequented.

Jacob was an intriguing soul in Hollywoodland. He had grown up on the reservation in La Push, very near the tiny town of Forks where Bella was born. They had known each other since they were little kids but, since Bella had actually grown up in Phoenix with her mother, they hadn't gotten to know each other well until Bella had spent her last year and a half of high school in Forks with her father.

They spent so many long afternoons talking about leaving the Olympic Peninsula. Eventually, they had further honed their interests, and decided to take on Hollywood. For Bella, who had grown up jumping from one adventure to the next with Renee, it offered a sort of familiarity. Life was hectic here, and hectic was something that Bella found she could deal with well. For Jacob, it was a chance to see a world he previously hadn't imagined. With his meticulous hand and flare for attention to detail, Jacob had actually fallen into the make-up department. He travelled frequently with the make-up teams to sets all around the world.

They had been talking in the make-up trailer on his latest, thankfully L.A.-based, set. Jacob had been called away by his boss, and Bella was about to leave when she was stopped by one of the other make-up artists.

The woman looked to be a little older than she was - beautiful, but scowling as she cleared her throat. "I didn't mean to overhear your conversation but, well, I did. My name's Leah Clearwater and I really think that the whole artificial insemination thing is a bad idea."

Bella was taken aback. "I really don't think-"

Leah interrupted, looking uncomfortable. "Look – it's none of my business what you do, okay, I just…" she grumbled, obviously frustrated with herself, and looked up at Bella with hard, but sincere, eyes. "Let me just tell you my story?"

Uncertain, and just as uncomfortable as Leah seemed to be, Bella gestured that the other woman should continue.

"I married my high school sweetheart when we were both 21. Sam," she all but growled the name, "and I wanted to start a family right away. When it didn't happen after a year, we went to see the doctor...and found out that I'm sterile."

"I'm sorry," Bella said instantly, and she meant it.

Leah just nodded and continued her story. "So, we looked into everything and decided to try surrogacy. Of course, we needed a surrogate egg and someone to carry the baby. Well..." Leah trailed off, visibly upset. She took a deep breath.

"My cousin, Emily," she all but spat the name, "volunteered for both. Emily and I had always been close, so it seemed ideal. And for many months, it was. Emily really went out of her way to make me feel like I was a part of the pregnancy."

If it were possible, the scowl on Leah's face deepened even more. "Then, around the eighth month of pregnancy, Sam and Emily announced they were in love. They said that it was their baby."

"That's horrible," Bella said, completely aghast that anyone would do that.

"I mean - technically they were right. I can't have children. He wasn't ever really mine," Leah said, sadness breaking through her harder exterior. She straightened up. "I just... I know every person's story is different, but if I couldn't trust my husband and my cousin, how do you know you can trust this guy?"

~0~

"Bella, you know what they say," Jasper said a few days later after Bella relayed the conversation she'd had with Leah. He and Peter had invited her over to their place for dinner. "Opinions are like assholes - everyone's got them."

"'Course," Peter interrupted, setting a bowl of salad on the table and sitting down next to Jasper, "some are a lot better than others but that's neither here nor there, is it?" he chuckled.

"Perv," Jasper admonished, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the lips. He turned back to Bella. "What it all boils down to is that life's messy. No way around that babe. No how. You take a chance with every day of your life. Sometimes it's going to work out, sometimes it isn't.

"Now, I can tell you with all sincerity, when you get pregnant, it's all you babe. I will love and adore that little boy or girl, and I will be the best, most awesome Uncle ever - but I know I'm not their father. That's all you, doll. I'm never going to try to take that away from you," he said quietly, putting a hand over hers.

"I know that, of course I know that," Bella said quickly. "It was just a hard story to shake."

"There's going to be a lot of that," Peter grimaced. "There are a lot of scary stories out there, hon. A lot of people have done bad things to each other. You're probably going to hear about a lot of things that can go wrong during pregnancy too. Don't let it affect you, Bella. People are going to want to tell you their horror stories, but you know you've got some pretty fuck-awesome people behind you. I mean," he grinned incorrigibly, "I can't speak for anyone else, but I know I'm amazing."

Jasper and Bella both rolled their eyes, but Peter's antics had the desired affect. Bella grinned, and the tension eased considerably.

By the time Bella left she was feeling a lot more relaxed. Jasper drew her into a hug, pressing something into her hands as he held her. "Don't open that until you get home. And call me, okay? No matter what," he said against her ear. Then he kissed her forehead and released her.

Bella looked down to find a small paper bag in her hands. She looked up at Jasper, curious, but he just waved her toward her car.

Following his instructions, Bella didn't open the bag until she was at home. Inside she found three different pregnancy tests - the kind that were supposed to work within the first two weeks of pregnancy. She almost dropped them as if they were on fire.

After the last two months, Bella had found she hated this part. She hated the feeling of failure when the words 'not pregnant' appeared on the screen. It was why Jasper had sent her home to take these tests. He knew she would want to rein in her disappointment without an audience. Still, it had to be done. Setting her shoulders, Bella went into her bathroom. She peed. She waited.

Her breath caught when she looked at the first test. She bit her lip at the second. By the third she was feeling the beginnings of tears prick at her eyes. Bella fumbled for her phone, hitting Jasper's name. He picked it up on the first ring.

"Bella?" he prompted.

A huge, deliriously happy grin spread across Bella's face. She didn't realize until that very moment how badly she'd wanted this. "I'm pregnant."

~0~

Across town, the majority of the Cullens were lounging together, post-dinner. Rosalie and Alice were conspicuously missing, but that was to be expected. They all knew why they were gathered, but no one was saying it in case there was no call tonight.

Carlisle and Emse sat on the loveseat, their heads bent toward each other in quiet conversation. Emmett held Tanya on his lap in the large recliner, managing to find dirty humor in the family friendly film they were watching. Every once in a while Tanya would smack him on the chest and he would say, "Honey, you're being a bad influence to our dear, impressionable girls," and she would smack him again because the girls weren't paying any attention to them.

She was right. Irina was entirely engrossed in the movie, occasionally bouncing her butt on the floor in time with the music while she drew haphazardly on a coloring book that had been set in front of her. Katrina was draped across Edward's body as they both lay on the couch. The little girl was sleeping peacefully as Edward twirled her long, blond ponytail between his fingers absently.

The peaceful night was interrupted when Emmett's phone indicated he had a text. Excitedly, he fumbled for his phone. He read for a second and then grinned, the dimples on his face so deep that you probably could have fit dimes in them. He let out a whoop that scared Katrina awake.

"We're having a baby, kids!" He cried happily, holding the text message out for the family to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh, everyone's happy. I wonder how long that will last. Hmm.
> 
> Anyway – thank you so much for all your well wishes. The cruise was fantastic. I'm enamored of Mike Welch now. He's hilarious. And my birthday was, well, fuckawesome.
> 
> Thank you to josieswan for beta work. I still don't know why she puts up with me. MWAH.
> 
> Thoughts? Questions? Guesses? Hit the button!


	3. She's Having WHOSE Baby?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Without spoiling you for what's to come, please remember that the characters involved have been handed a very big surprise and aren't thinking clearly. What comes out of their mouths may be a little less than sensitive and in no way reflect my own opinions on the matter. Just sayin.
> 
> Disclaimer: I donut own them. Stephenie does, and I'm so glad she shared them with us.

**Friday**

Bella was exhausted. Normally, she loved her job. All the darting back and forth, the chaos - she actually thrived on it.

It wasn't something anyone could have predicted. She had always been constant, seldom changing. Any decision she made about her life took careful consideration, and once she was on a path, it was hard to steer her off course.

But that was what made her good at her job. She was determined to see the production through no matter the obstacle.

Of course, that week was testing that theory something fierce. Despite the fact that she was asleep by no later than eight in the evening the last week or so, she was dead on her feet every day.

Jasper whistled when she entered his office sometime around the vicinity of lunch. "You look lousy, babe," he said plainly. "Aren't you supposed to be glowing?"

Bella chuffed as she laid on his couch. "Maybe this is my punishment for not doing things the normal way," she mumbled, throwing an arm over her eyes. "I get the morning sickness and this god-awful heartburn, but no nice, pink glow."

Chuckling sympathetically, Jasper tilted his head, studying Bella. "You're a bit grumpy today," he noted, continuing his flair for stating the obvious.

"I'm pregnant. Aren't mood swings a part of the whole package? Technically I can murder someone and get away with it, right?" she grumbled.

"Anyone specifically?" Jasper asked, careful to keep the amusement out of his voice.

Bella sighed. "'S'not Victoria's fault that my nose is as sensitive as my tits lately. Her perfume was just...overwhelming. I thought I was going to faint for a second."

"First of all," Jasper said, scoffing, "your boss is a she-devil and I wouldn't put it past her to have done it on purpose. Secondly, the word for her perfume is not overwhelming...it's cheap.

"Well, maybe the glowing comes later," Jasper allowed after Bella lifted her arm to glare at him. Then he brightened and sat at his desk, typing away. "We can google it!"

Bella just waved noncommittally as he searched. As long as it didn't require her to move, she didn't really care what he did at the moment. Jasper pursed his lips worriedly, knowing his friend must be feeling particularly lousy if she wasn't even attempting to humor him.

He found a website and started to read. Then he started to cackle because the text on this site was utterly ridiculous.

"You're eight weeks along, right?"

"Six weeks," she corrected without opening her eyes. Bella absolutely refused to accept the concept of pregnancy math. Most official sources counted a pregnancy as beginning two weeks prior to conception. Bella had cried bullshit on that one from the beginning. She had, she reminded him more than once, literally scheduled her conception date. She knew exactly when it was and no amount of fuzzy math was going to convince her otherwise.

So Jasper just rolled his eyes and clicked on the eight week button with out telling her. Almost instantly, he began to chortle again.

Hoping to amuse her, he starts reading from the website. Apparently, her baby was about 'the size of the rock in Eva Longoria's engagement ring, and is about as heavy as the check Tony Parker wrote to pay for it.' Which Jasper said was bullshit as he had seen Eva Longoria's ring and it wasn't that much bigger than a tic-tac - which is what the website said the baby's size had been  _last_ week.

He told her that the baby's heart rate was about 150 beats per minute. Apparently, that was more than twice her resting heart rate even when staring at Brad Pitt.

"Brad Pitt is pretty good looking," Jasper said, "but he doesn't make my heart race. Now if they had said Johnny Depp...oh, or new Captain Kirk."

"Chris Pine," Bella supplied, and Jasper could see her lips were curving up at his constant monologue. "Tell me more," she requested quietly.

He went on to tell her that webbed fingers and toes have begun to develop, as well as eyelids, ears, nose and an upper-lip.

Bella listened with more rapt interest than she let on. Later that night, when she was sitting alone on her couch, she allowed herself to imagine the little alien growing inside her. Jasper had shown her the images he'd looked up. It was alien and tadpoleish at this point. Still, her best friend's words had painted a picture she couldn't shake.

Though she had been thinking about this for months now, had worked so hard to get pregnant, and had been suffering morning sickness and all the other lovely symptoms of pregnancy for weeks now, it only hit her then that there was a living being inside of her. More than that, it was  _her_ child.

A fierce feeling of awe and enormity spread over her. It was pure joy and jolting fear all at once. Her uterus, Jasper had informed her, was about the size of an orange. She wasn't showing yet, but she could feel it if she pressed down over her abdomen.

She was going to be somebody's mother.

Bella didn't even realize she was crying until she had to sniffle. Swiping at her tears, Bella was distracted from her revelation by her phone ringing. She sniffled again, frowning at the phone when the number came up as Dr. Snow's office. Dr. Snow was the fertility clinic doctor.

Instantly, Bella felt a tight, uncomfortable feeling at her chest. What could he possibly want. Instinctively, her hand went back to her stomach, curling protectively over the imperceptible bump that was her child. "Hello?"

"This is Dr. Snow's office. It's of great importance that you come into speak to us as soon as possible."

~0~

**Sunday**

Edward hummed quietly to himself as he flipped the pancakes in the griddle. He poked at them with the spatula, grinning when they met his standards of edible perfection. They were perfectly rounded and crisped to that delicious shade of brown with bubbly, off-white edges.

A tiny hand reached over, snatching one from the plate beside the stove and Edward turned to cluck at the offender. "Alice, it isn't breakfast time yet."

"Pfft. I'm pregnant. Anytime I can eat breakfast is breakfast time." His sister's girl waggled her eyebrows playfully, chewing her prize daintily. She quirked her head to the side curiously. "What's in this pancake?"

"Those are ginger cakes," Edward explained. "Rosalie said you've been nauseous. They're supposed to help."

Alice gave him a slightly guilty look over her treat. She looked over her shoulder and then leaned in conspiratorially, "Actually, the morning sickness isn't that bad for me. I just let Rose think it's worse than it is because she gets all cute trying to take care of me."

"Brat," Edward accused.

Alice looked more proud than anything. "Just don't tell her," she commanded, snatching a piece of bacon from another plate by the stove.

"Oh, I won't," another voice came from the entrance to the kitchen. Alice jumped, whirling to find Carlisle leaning in the doorway looking highly amused. "That's actually a little classic. And devious. Very devious," he admonished, drawing Alice under his arm and kissing her forehead.

"Devious is my middle name," Alice laughed, hugging Carlisle before wandering to the refrigerator in search of juice.

Esme and Rosalie made it downstairs a few minutes later. Morning kisses and hugs were distributed, and Rosalie sat down next to Alice. "How are you feeling today, babe?"

"Alright," Alice said slowly, as if she wasn't quite sure yet- as if she might have been the teeniest bit queasy. Edward was glad he had his back turned so Rosalie missed his eyeroll. "Edward made me ginger cakes. They're really good actually."

"Leave it to you to know a recipe like that," Rosalie grinned as Edward took his seat. "What, did you review some specialty restaurant that caters to the knocked up?"

"It's not a complicated recipe, Rosalie - just pancake batter plus a little ground ginger," Edward said, giving her a somewhat condescending look. "Besides, if a restaurant like that existed - which it doesn't because, let's be honest, pregnant women's cravings would cover way too wide of a range - why would they send me to review something like that? I don't know if noticed, but I can't get knocked up."

"My cravings aren't that bad," Alice grumbled.

"You're not in your second trimester," Esme joined in the conversation, smiling at her children. "Remember Tanya? She claimed to crave lobster tail all the time." She looked thoughtful. "I think she was faking that particular craving though..."

Alice's eyebrows shot up, a scheming look coming over her face and Carlisle had to smoother a smile. "How  _devious_ ," he said, looking over at Alice with one raised eyebrow. She flushed red at being caught plotting, but luckily for her, a phone ringing in the distance distracted Rosalie, preventing her from seeing the exchange between her father and her lover.

"That's your phone," she murmured to Alice, recognizing the ring tone. "I'll go get it."

As soon as Rosalie had run off, Alice sat back in her chair, grinning smugly at Carlisle and Edward over her glass of orange juice.

The lighthearted atmosphere was broken as Rosalie came back into the kitchen with a worried expression on her face. "I don't understand. Is something wrong?" She listened for a moment, then looked at Alice and hit the mute button on the phone. "It's Dr. Snow's office," she said to Alice, a hard edge in her voice. "They want to see us right away tomorrow."

~0~

**Monday**

Oddly, it was Jasper who was pacing as he waited with Bella in a cushy office. The nameplates said that the office belonged to a Dr. Parenti. All of it was making Jasper very nervous.

Bella just felt sick to her stomach - but that wasn't new. She saved her panicking for whenever Dr. Snow would finally arrive.

"Jasper," Bella complained when she couldn't take her friend's nervous energy anymore, "You're making me dizzy."

"I'm sorry, sugar," he apologized, sitting down instantly. "But how can you be so calm?"

She sighed. "Dr. Snow is a fertility specialist. If there was anything wrong with my pregnancy it wouldn't be him calling, it would be my normal doctor. So whatever it is... I can handle it, I'm sure." She ran her hands over her still-flat stomach. "As long as the baby is okay. That's all that matters."

Just then, they hear the muffled sound of a woman shouting near by. Whoever she was she sounded pissed. For some reason that Bella couldn't figure, the sound was vaguely familiar. She and Jasper looked at each other, curious as to what was going on. Thankfully, or perhaps regrettably, they did not have to wait long to find out.

Dr. Snow, speaking slowly and extremely apologetically, explained that on the day Bella had been inseminated, there had been another young woman in the clinic. He said the same nurse collected both semen samples. Because the clinic often dealt with anonymous donors, the samples only held numbers and not the man's name. It was only when she was catching up with paperwork, over a week later, that the nurse - a Lauren Mallory - had realized that she'd switched the samples accidentally. It had taken her all these weeks to summon the courage to admit her mistake.

"I don't..." Bella stumbled, feeling lightheaded. "But...who..."

She couldn't seem to formulate the words. She felt a sense of violation, knowing that her baby was part her and part some stranger. Anger and horror hit her in equally strong intervals.

"The...donor is actually here. He and the other patient, and her partner, would like to meet with you, if you're amenable," Dr. Snow said.

"The other donor," Jasper began, glaring at the doctor as he rubbed Bella's shoulders soothingly, "He have kinda reddish hair? Trying to help his sister's partner?"

Dr. Snow nodded, a gleam of hope in his eyes. "Do you know each other?"

"No," Jasper snapped. When he went to Bella's side to look her in the eye, his tone was a lot more gentle. "I talked to him, I think, when we were waiting. He's... gorgeous, actually Bella. And a really nice guy."

"A really nice guy?" Bella repeated, numbly. Then, abruptly, she was furious. "A really nice guy? You think I should be okay with this because he's a nice guy?"

"Shh," Jasper placated, rubbing her hands in between both of his. "Baby, I don't know what to say here, okay? I don't know what you want to do but..." he looked up at the doctor hesitantly, "I do want to meet the ... you know. Whoever got my..." he gestured helplessly.

"Of course," Dr. Snow nodded, "I can take you to them right away." He looked up at Bella then, "Miss Swan?"

Bella breathed deeply, trying to reel in her raging emotions. "Is Nurse Mallory available to speak to?" she asked darkly.

At that, Dr. Snow hesitated. "She's been let go, of course. Any information we can give to you will be provided-"

Bella waved her hand cutting him off. "I need to think about that but yes, I want to meet the others."

"Of course," Dr. Snow said again. "Right this way."

He lead them down the hallway to his office which was quite a bit larger than Dr. Parenti's had been.

The first thing Bella saw was a shock of gorgeous, bronze colored bed head attached to face that would have made Aphrodite herself weep out of pure jealousy. Oh yeah, if this guy had starred in a major Greek myth, he would have been completely fucked over by the gods. Bella had heard the term dumb struck before, but it had never applied directly to her.

She might have felt like an idiot but it seemed he was similarly frozen.

The moment was broken by a shrill shout. "You have  _got_ to be kidding.  _You_?"

Bella's head snapped to the side, her eyes going wide as she finally saw the other two people in the room. One was a very little, very pretty young woman with jet black hair. She was tucked under the arm of the more statuesque woman - perhaps the only person who could have matched the bronze-haired man in beauty. Unfortunately, unlike the demi-god, Bella knew very well who the blonde was. Her mouth must have dropped straight to the floor.

"Rosalie Hale?" Jasper asked, incredulously. Then he looked back and forth between Rosalie and Alice, totally confused. "But... Wow, okay, I didn't see that coming."

"Rose?" the bronze-haired man asked. "Do you know them?"

" _Know_ them? Could this day get any worse?" she cried dramatically.

"Rose!" the little raven-haired woman admonished. She looked very stressed but she didn't think that called for Rosalie being that insulting to the other party.

"That," she seethed, pointing at Bella, "Is Isabella Swan."

Recognition instantly crossed the others' faces. The woman looked surprised. The man turned to glower at Bella automatically.

Before Bella could jump into the fray, Jasper stepped forward again. "This is hardly the time or the place for  _that_ discussion," he said with an air of finality. "It seems to me there are many more important things at hand." With that he looked over at the petite woman and put on an apologetic smile. "I'm Jasper Whitlock."

"Alice Hale," she replied back, taking the hand he offered and shaking it.

"I didn't realize Rosalie was married," he said politely.

"No one knows that," Rosalie snapped. "And I'd prefer to keep it that way for the time being."

Jasper looked over at Rosalie, exasperated. "Will you calm down? Like I said, there are more important things to talk about besides your love life."

"It's not you I'm worried about," Rosalie spat back, crossing her arms and glaring at Bella again.

To Bella's absolute horror, as she opened her mouth to defend herself, again, she felt a rush of dizziness hit her right at that moment and she swayed on her feet. The bronze haired man stepped forward, steadying her.

A light, painless buzz of energy flew between them as he guided her into a chair, and they both stared at each other, hard expressions melting for just a second.

"Edward!" Rosalie hissed.

"What?" he said defensively, stepping away from Bella quickly. "Rose, Jesus, I didn't want her to fall."

"That's just great," His sister continued to scowl. "Sure, be nice to her after-"

Edward's anger flared. "I don't know what you want from me," he all but bellowed at his sister. "Look, Rose, you're the only one in this clusterfuck who doesn't have any...biological component at stake. I think you need to back off."

The minute he realized what he'd said, Edward's eyes went wide. "I didn't mean-" he started, but Rosalie cut him off.

"No. Whatever. I'm out of here. I'll let all of you with a real,  _biological_ , say in the matter talk," she hissed scathingly.

"Rose!" Alice called, but it was too late. Rosalie was up and out the door before anyone could stop her. "Shit," she cursed, bowing her head as tears flooded over.

Edward sighed. "I'm sorry, Alice. I really didn't mean it. I'll go get her."

"No," Alice said forcefully. "Look, none of us knows what to say or do right now. She needs a minute and we all need to talk." She straightened up again, wiping furiously at her tears. Bella got the sense that Alice didn't like the raging pregnancy mood-swings any more than she did.

"Are you feeling alright, Bella?" Jasper asked quietly, squatting beside her chair.

Bella had to laugh. "No. But I'm not going to faint if that's what you're asking."

"Fair enough," Jasper said grimly. He stood and pointed to himself. "Jasper Whitlock." He pointed to Bella, "Bella Swan." To Alice. "Alice Hale, and," he pointed to Edward raising a questioning eyebrow.

"Edward Cullen," Edward supplied, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms.

Jasper nodded and then looked at Dr. Snow who was sitting behind his desk and trying desperately not to wring his hands at all the chaos. "Talk to us, Doctor. Where do we go from here?"

"Well," Dr. Snow began, clearing his throat. "Of course, you'll find that the fees you paid have already been returned to the accounts they came from." He made his voice low and unassuming. "If either of you choose to terminate the pregnancy, we would also take responsibility for those charges."

"You're damn right, you would," Edward muttered darkly. "You're going to pay for the best damn doctor we can find."

"Wait," Bella said quickly. "Who said anything about terminating the pregnancy?" Her hands flew instantly to her stomach. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alice making the same motion.

Edward turned to look at her, his eyebrows furrowed. "Why would you want to have a stranger's baby?" he asked before he could think about what he was saying.

Bella stood, glowering at him full on now. "This isn't anybody's baby but mine," she said, wrapping her arms protectively around her middle.

They stared at each other, both looking incredulous, but Edward seemed to realize that anything he had to say was probably not going to come out right at all.

Then, Bella let out a breath. "I can't... I've got to get out of here," she mumbled, and then quickly pressed passed Edward to the door.

Jasper looked over, cursed under his breath and sighed. He crossed to Dr. Snow's desk and quickly scribbled something on a pad of paper. Walking over to Alice, he gave her the paper and squeezed her hand, looking apologetic. "I gotta go after her. Please. Call me whenever. We do need to talk, okay?"

Alice nodded, smiling a small smile just for Jasper. "I will. And please tell Bella that my brother-in-law is not usually such an asshole," she said, glaring up Edward for emphasis.

Giving Edward a wary glance, Jasper nodded at Alice. "I'm sure she'll be in touch once we've all had time to process this." He straightened up and frowned at Dr. Snow. "I'm definitely sure we'll be in touch with you," he said brusquely. Then he was out the door as well.

As soon as he had gone, Edward slumped into the chair that Bella had vacated. "Shit," he muttered under his breath.

"Yep," Alice said shakily, "That about sums it up."

~0~

As Jasper drove Bella home, he texted Jacob for back up. Jake met him at Bella's apartment. She needed them both, but Jasper also needed time to think things through for himself. He was in quite a different boat than Bella was and he wanted to have already considered things when Alice called.

So while Jacob made Bella some tea, Jasper made sure it was okay to leave her. Bella being Bella understood that he needed to talk to Peter. Part of her wished she could be there for him, but her head was spinning and she felt sick in so many ways. Instead, she hugged him fiercely and whispered that she was so sorry that this had happened. He just told her there was nothing to be sorry about.

Jacob managed to coax her to her bed. He laid down with her, wrapping her up in his safe arms as she finally let go and cried in earnest. She cried, remembering the loathing on Rosalie's face and the incredulity in Edward's expression. She cried because of the ugly feeling of violation, that there was an unknown component to the beautiful creature inside of her - this was not what she planned or wanted. She cried until she fell asleep.

When she woke up again, the room was dark. She sat up, looking around, and saw a light coming from her living room. When she stumbled out into the living room she was surprised to find Jacob sprawled out on the couch, asleep.

She woke him but instead of leaving, Jacob merely pulled her down with him on the couch, holding her tightly and asked what she wanted to do.

In all honesty, Bella didn't know what she was going to do. She didn't know if there was anything she could do at that point.

Then, slowly and carefully, Jacob said, "You know...if you wanted to start over...no one could blame you for that choice, Bells."

"No," Bella said firmly.

No, nothing could change her mind on that front. She loved her baby - deeply and truly. She would do anything to protect it. No, that was the one thing she was sure of.

There was only one real choice. She would have to wait to see what Edward Cullen would do.

~0~

That evening found Edward at Emmett's house. He hadn't known who to go to, who to tell, and why he had chosen his brother he would never know. Emmett didn't have any answers for him, and tact was very far from his forte. He just stared with his mouth opening and closing like a big fish.

After a moment, Emmett sat next to his brother and patted him on the back. "Look at it this way, bro. You're like...the only guy in the world who has to tell his parents he knocked up a total stranger...and it really wasn't your fault."

"Not helping, Emmett," Edward growled into his hands. He straightened somewhat, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to keep calm.

"I don't know what to say, little brother," Emmett said, his voice sincerely sympathetic. "I mean…all things considered, this chick obviously wanted to go it on her own right. You could just…walk away."

Edward balked at that but he didn't know what he wanted to hear anyway. There wasn't some magical erase button that would set this situation right.

The price, though, of this mistake seemed too high.

He knew what he wanted, or, rather, what he didn't want. He wanted the same thing he always had - to be an uncle, not a father - but, at the same time, it felt entirely wrong, on so many levels, to just walk away.

No, he was fairly certain that was the one thing he couldn't do.

Edward had barely gotten home before his doorbell rang. He opened it, not at all surprised to see his sister standing there, looking uncharacteristically small and lost.

"Twin," she said in an almost childlike voice.

Edward was almost programmed to respond that voice. Rosalie never called him twin unless she was scared or uncertain. She was definitely scared now. Hearing that voice made him automatically push aside his own worries – at least for that moment. He gathered her in his arms and hugged her tightly. "It'll be okay, Rosie," he murmured to her because she needed to hear it.

He only wished he could believe it for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yeah, so again...just a reminder. Anything said and done in this chapter was a result of extreme shock. I'm just saying.
> 
> Most of you saw that coming. Hehe.
> 
> Well, do check out the lovely, LOVELY banner that Ms. Ambrosia made for this fic. It's lovely - have I mentioned that? Thanks to josieswan for beta work.
> 
> Soooooo... ::clears throat:: what are we thinking? If you've been pregnant, what's the weirdest thing YOU craved?


	4. Why do we hate Bella Swan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Since everyone AND their mother asked…I thought the title was appropriate. Do read on.
> 
> Disclaimer: These lovely characters are property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

"Dad, seriously...this is just a box of rocks," Bella chuckled, amused.

Her father had moved to Los Angeles from the tiny town of Forks, Washington several months previous. Like Bella, Charlie didn't really enjoy change. While he insisted he was happy to be near his only child again, Bella knew that he missed the slower pace and tranquil atmosphere of Forks. It had been hard on him, so Bella tried to do everything she could to make things easier. As he still hadn't finished unpacking, she was spending her weekend trying to help him get everything squared away once and for all.

The collection of stones she'd found in a show-box sized container were very pretty, reflecting many vibrant colors and interesting shapes, but still…they were just rocks.

Charlie looked up from where he was poking half-heartedly through a different box and then his cheeks turned a distinct shade of pink. He looked away quickly, suddenly looking very intrigued in his task. "Those were yours, actually."

Then Bella remembered.

When she was little and visited him during the summer, Charlie would always take her down to First Beach to walk along the shore and then to see the tide pools she so loved. Though she begged repeatedly, he would never let her take home any of the colorful marine life they found there, of course. He would, however, smile patiently as he waited for her to find stones that matched the colors of the anemones and starfish. Since she couldn't take them home with her to Phoenix, he kept them for her and added to the collection every summer.

"Well, I'll tell you what," Bella said, trying to hide the emotion that suddenly welled in her,  _fucking hormones_ , "I think you can use them to line a few planters. That way you can have a little bit of Forks here in California."

"Been watching too much Martha Stewart, have you Bells?" Charlie deadpanned, but when Bella looked over at him he was smiling.

Bella set the box of rocks aside and continued to sort through the larger box. She realized that it was full of very un-Charlie like things. "These are all my toys…Dad, why did you keep these?"

Her father shrugged. "They're yours. They're not mine to give or throw away. I didn't know if you'd want any of it for…later," he said vaguely.

Later...as in, if she ever wanted to pass on her old toys to her own kids.

"Anyway, why don't I go pick us up some lunch? My treat for all your help," he said quickly, changing the subject.

Old, old habit kicked in and Bella wanted to protest, but she stopped herself. Not that long ago, Charlie had been very, very sick. Through all of it - all the worry and the terror as his health had continued to deteriorate - the most agonizing thing to Charlie had been the sense of helplessness. He was, like his daughter, fiercely independent, and being unable to do the slightest thing for himself had frustrated him to the point of tears more than once. It had broken Bella's heart to see him that way. Now that he was better, he seemed to be trying to make up for his months of illness and convalescence by doing as much as he could for himself and others around him. The helplessness had left its mark on his psyche. "Sure, Dad. Whatever you want is great."

Once Charlie had left, Bella turned her attention back to the box of her own toys. Nestled amidst stuffed animals, Barbies and an embarrassing New Kids on the Block Jordan doll was a beautiful, classic baby doll.

Feeling ridiculous but somehow unable to help herself, Bella pulled the doll out and cradled it in her arms. She rocked it, experimentally, trying to imagine it was heavy and squirmy and warm.

Trying to imagine it was hers.

A fussing, cooing little creature with her features, Charlie and Renee's features, reflected back on a tiny face. She imagined a baby with wisps of her thick, mahogany hair….

Green eyes.

Bella sighed as a wave of anger and frustration swept over her. She set the baby doll back in the box and closed it a little more aggressively than was necessary.

Her original plan had been to tell Charlie about the baby this weekend. As her father, he would be worried for her, but he would be happy. Bella honestly couldn't wait to see the smile on his face when he found out he was going to be a grandfather.

But then, everything had happened and now she didn't want to tell Charlie yet. Not until she figured out what she was going to do about everything. She hadn't even figured out if she was going to take any action against the clinic, and there was always a more pressing concern.

Edward Cullen had been leaving her voicemails all week.

Without the fury and irritation in it, Edward's voice was alarmingly alluring. He had sounded honestly contrite in his messages, saying he was sorry that they got off on the wrong foot, and that he wanted to speak to her as soon as possible – when she was ready.

Disgruntled and confused, Bella lay back on the floor, folding her hands over her stomach and wondering once more about the life beneath her fingers. When she thought about Edward, with his soft, musical voice and his bewilderingly pretty face, she could almost fool herself into thinking that her baby sharing his DNA wasn't a bad thing. The man on the voicemail sounded kind and patient.

Then she remembered that he was Rosalie Hale's brother, her twin brother from what Jasper had found out from Alice.

Even if there wasn't bad blood between them, Bella didn't think she and Rosalie would ever have been friends. They were too different. Rosalie was a prima donna, diva, shallow woman who gave Tyra Banks a run for her money in the outrageous drama department.

But siblings weren't always alike, and Bella knew that. She knew better than to judge Edward based solely on his sister. Still, if Edward was so drastically different than his sister, there was no way any member of Rosalie's family could like Bella. Rosalie hated Bella, and had admittedly good reason to do so.

So, to Bella, Edward's soft, patient voice had to be a ruse, and there weren't a lot of things she hated more than falseness. She didn't trust Edward Cullen as far as she could throw him, and she couldn't see how he would ever trust her given what Rosalie thought she had done.

Her mood shifted again and suddenly Bella felt hot tears rolling down into her hairline. She hated that every emotion she had was so amplified, now more than ever. It was one thing to start crying at home over ridiculous things like Scrubs re-runs, but she wasn't alone at the moment. She hugged her middle tightly, knowing she had to pull herself together before Charlie got back.

How the hell was this ever going to work?

~0~

"I don't know why you expected anything different from her, Edward," Rosalie sneered as the whole family was sitting down for Sunday lunch. Their mother had made the mistake of asking if Bella had returned Edward's phone calls yet and he'd had to say no. "That girl doesn't have a decent bone in her body."

"Rose," Carlisle admonished mildly. "This has been a very big shock for all of us. I realize that you take issue with her, but can't you have a little compassion for her situation? In the scheme of things, two weeks is not a long time to process such a life affecting event. I would think you of all people could be sympathetic to that, given the circumstances."

On the one hand, Edward felt guilty about adding to the poor woman's troubles. Though his messages were non-specific, she could probably guess that he either wanted to convince her to terminate the pregnancy - something he was ashamed he had suggested in the first place - or to talk about his level of involvement in the child's life. But, when he'd decided he couldn't walk away - like she obviously wanted him to - he knew that he could never do for her what he would have done for Rosalie and Alice.

When Jasper had asked him, before all of this had happened, if it would be weird to be the child's father  _and_ uncle, it had been easy for Edward to say that it wasn't his baby. But he didn't know Bella. The idea of having no say in this child's life, not knowing what kind of mother Bella would be, was abhorrent to him.

"Okay, I'm lost," Tanya interrupted before Rosalie could snap at her father. "Why do we hate Bella Swan?"

"We don't hate Bella," Edward muttered, but Rosalie ignored him.

"You remember Royce King?" she asked her sister-in-law. Tanya nodded slowly, no doubt wondering what  _that_ name as doing in this conversation.

Royce King was an actor – a very handsome, very charming, young actor. In a way, Rosalie owed Royce a lot. She was very young to have made it as far in her modeling career as she did, and she knew that she wouldn't have gotten the public exposure she had if it wasn't for the fact she and Royce were the talk of the town.

It wasn't always good publicity – in fact, it was very  _rarely_ good publicity. Together she and Royce had a reputation for partying too hard and not giving a hang about much but themselves. They made Paris and Nicole look like friendly, mild-mannered neighbors in comparison.

For Rosalie's family, that relationship had been distressing to say the least. The snotty, obnoxious girl who frequently made gossip rag magazine headlines was not the Rose they knew. It had taken a fall from grace and finding Alice again to get Rosalie back on the right track privately.

Publicly…well, there was no such thing as bad publicity. The Volturi network wanted to create a show that would be direct competition to Tyra. Rosalie's razor sharp tongue and quick wit had made her a shoe-in for the host position. So, while she had dumped Royce and calmed down considerably, her diva behavior still sold well on television.

Three years ago, Bella had been an office assistant on the  _Access Entertainment_  show that taped in a different section of the same studio.

As part of a deal they worked out after their break-up, Royce had been given specific instructions to deliver a very sensitive package directly to Rosalie. He had run into Bella instead and, according to him, the girl had given her his word that she would take the tape that he gave her straight to Rosalie. He had told her it was very important and very, very private - could he trust her with this task. Bella had assured him that she understood the sensitive nature of the package and that he could rely on her.

That night, as Royce no doubt had hoped, the tape lead  _Access Entertainment's_  report, and Bella was suddenly promoted to a much more prestigious position.

Tanya whistled. "Why didn't I know about this?"

"It all happened right when the girls were born," Rosalie said slowly. An understanding look came over Tanya's face then. She'd had complications toward the end of her pregnancy and both she and the girls had spent time in the hospital.

"I didn't find out about it until much later," Emmett told his wife, squeezing her knee apologetically. "And by then I didn't see any reason to stress you out. Rosie just wanted to forget about it, you know?"

Tanya nodded, patting Emmett's hand to assure him he wasn't in trouble. Then she looked up at Edward. "Have you thought about what you're going to do legally?"

Edward smiled wanly. "I''m hoping it won't come to that. There's no reason why two logical adults can't come to a mutual understanding, even in this situation."

"Good luck," Rosalie scoffed.

"Do you really think she would try to keep Edward away from his own child?" Esme asked fretfully. "I'm not saying that she didn't wrong you terribly, Rosalie, but that was business. This is something altogether different."

"Jasper's really nice," Alice contributed, watching Rosalie's face carefully as she spoke, "and Bella is his best friend. She can't be all bad."

"You hardly know Jasper," Rosalie muttered, but her tone wasn't as forceful as before. Alice reached over and threaded their fingers together. She knew that Rosalie was having a hard time as both situations affected her deeply.

Not the least of Rosalie's worries was that Bella was going to do the same thing she had done before. After all, Rosalie was a sex symbol for many men and now Bella knew she had a female partner – something that Rosalie had thus far managed to keep out of the press.

It wasn't that she was ashamed of Alice or that she wanted to hide their relationship. Rosalie just didn't want Alice dragged into her public life. It was something they had agreed upon when they got together several years ago. Rosalie knew that she couldn't keep her public and private lives separate for that much longer, especially not after the baby was born, but she certainly didn't want Bella Swan to be the one to break the story, and she wanted just a little more time. She hated that a person she loathed so much held a secret of hers yet again.

"Well, you know if you need representation I'm here to help you," Tanya offered, breaking Rosalie out of her brooding. Rosalie brightened at that suggestion. Tanya was a very successful lawyer. Even if she couldn't personally take the case, family law not being her specialty, she would know someone who could.

"I'm hoping it doesn't get to that point," Edward reiterated.

His sister-in-law chewed slowly. "You need to protect your rights, Edward. Do you know what you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, are you going to go after joint custody? And if you want to put any restrictions on Bella, you should think about what those are," Tanya said matter-of-factly.

"Restrictions?" Edward echoed. He had stopped eating completely and looked distinctly pale.

"You know, if you don't want her to take the baby out of the state or the the country without your permission. Things like that."

Aside from Rosalie, who was nodding along, and the girls, who were too busy swapping carrot and celery sticks to find their perfect set, the rest of the family looked a little uncomfortable at Tanya's line of questioning. Alice looked borderline angry. It seemed so unjust. Jasper hadn't been anything but understanding about the whole ordeal. He wasn't making any demands at all and showed no indication that he was even thinking in that direction.

"I don't… I hadn't…," Edward stumbled. He looked so wide-eyed and overwhelmed it would have been comical in other circumstances. Edward was always so carefully controlled.

"Well," Alice said smoothly, "There's still plenty of time."

Taking Alice's queue, Emmett grinned and did what he did best – he changed the subject. "So tell us about this Jasper character."

Alice brightened considerably even while Rosalie's scowl deepened. "I like him. A lot."

"You should hear them," Rosalie said, her voice betraying her irritation. "You'd have thought they've known each other for years."

"But that's a good thing, right?" Esme said gently.

"I think it's a good thing," Alice confirmed, fixing Rosalie with a look that indicated they'd talked about it before – at great length. Rosalie said nothing, but folded her arms over her chest defensively. "More than just this whole situation, he's a lot of fun. Do you know that he actually knew where to find maternity clothes in my size that aren't all frilly?"

Emmett's eyebrows shot up. "Dude knows where to shop for maternity clothes?"

Alice nodded excitedly. "He knows where to shop for anything you can imagine. You should see him, Emmett. I can't even describe his wardrobe. It's just this bizarre mixture of casual, beat poet and…I don't know, pirate," she giggled. "It should look horrible, but somehow, on him…it works."

"Are you sure you weren't separated at birth?" Emmett laughed. Then he yelped as Tanya elbowed him sharply. "What?"

The rest of the family just shook their heads.

A little later that afternoon, Carlisle went looking for Edward who had quietly disappeared at some point after lunch. He found his son in his room.

It wasn't technically Edward's room of course. Since the family had moved to Los Angeles mainly to keep up with Rosalie, none of the Cullen children had been raised there. Edward had never lived in this house, but when Esme and Carlisle had purchased it, they'd made sure it had room for all of their children to have their own space and then some. Hence, whenever Edward visited, that room was his.

Edward looked completely lost in thought. He was lying on his bed, his arm thrown over his eyes, but Carlisle could tell his son wasn't sleeping. He sat at the window seat and simply waited, knowing Edward would talk only when he was ready and lending his unwavering support until then.

After what seemed like a long time to both men, Edward finally spoke. "I want to believe I'm doing the right thing – insisting on being involved in this child's life."

Carlisle considered this for long enough that Edward moved his arm to see if his father was still there. The older man sighed. "I can't answer that question for you, Edward.

"I've never believed there is a set standard to what a child should have. I've seen good people come from single parent homes, same-sex parent homes, being raised by their grandparents… just as I've seen troubled people come from every situation," Carlisle mused thoughtfully. As a child psychologist, he'd had a lot of time to think this particular topic through.

"But it seems to me that the biggest difference is love. Many of the kids who wind up in my office… one or both of their parents resent them in some way. Raising a child is incredibly difficult and frustrating at times." He smiled fondly and raised an eyebrow at Edward. "Think about your sister's tantrums. Or how many times we found your brother at the top of some impossibly high tree. Or you… when you refused to talk to us for days on end, at  _four,_  that was … beyond maddening."

Edward couldn't help but chuckle at that.

Carlisle's smile turned serious. "Of course, for me it was always worth it. I wouldn't have traded you kids for anything, not even on your worst day. Not even when you seemed to  _coordinate_ your worst days. But for some, it can seem like a completely thankless ordeal. When that happens the child invariably knows that he is a burden instead of a gift, and the repercussions of that can be devastating.

"I suppose what I'm trying to say is that it depends on your mindset." Carlisle stared at his son steadily, knowing that he needed to hear these things before it was too late. "I know that having a child wasn't what you wanted. If you choose to be in this child's life, then it is a lifetime commitment. And I can't tell you what will happen with Bella, but making this decision also ensures that you will always have to deal with her as well. If she proved to be difficult, you'd be dealing with her for eighteen years at the very least. Could you put up with that and not let the child see your frustration? If you can't get over your resentment that you were put in this situation through no fault of your own, if you can't honestly and truly love a child that you didn't help create…then perhaps it would be better to leave Bella and her baby alone."

"I can't do that," Edward whispered, his voice small and overwhelmed. He understood what his father was saying. Over the last two weeks, it hadn't really sunk in to him that he was talking about a flesh and blood child - another life he would be partially responsible to raise, teach and protect. The idea of a baby had seemed abstract until Tanya started using words like joint custody.

He felt...alarmingly empty when he thought about the baby. He had no attachment to it. When Tanya was pregnant, he remembered a joyful feeling of anticipation. He adored his beautiful nieces, even before they were born.

But he really couldn't tell if he felt nothing for this baby because he never would or because he felt nothing for its mother. After all, Katrina and Irina were his brother's daughters. Part of Edward's joy grew out of Emmett's joy. He had no connection to Bella for that feeling of love to grow from. Right now, his child was just a vaguely baby shaped mass of blood and tissue that he couldn't see. At least, he assumed he couldn't see it... Alice wasn't showing yet and she was slighter than Bella was.

Maybe it was like the saying always said. Women become mothers when they get pregnant. Men become father's when they see their baby. Maybe he would love the child instantly.

But what if he couldn't?

Still, Edward couldn't imagine just letting Bella go. When he had agreed to help Rosalie and Alice, he had not taken the responsibility of bringing a child into this world lightly. He himself would never have had a child with someone he didn't trust. He trusted his sister, of course. He trusted Alice. He had known Alice almost all of his life and knew that she would make a fantastic mother.

Beyond his family, there were very few people that Edward trusted.

Now, that sense of responsibility, and all the reservations he had about bringing a new life into this world remained. Edward was simply not one to shirk his responsibilities. He had no way of knowing if Bella would raise this child in a way he would agree with. He had no way of knowing if she was one of the monsters - like the parents whose children ended up in his father's office.

No, he couldn't imagine letting a life he was, even remotely, responsible for creating just wander off into the abyss.

For a few moments, Carlisle said nothing. Then he stood, making sure that Edward was looking at him before he spoke. "Edward, you have so much love in you. I have no doubts that you'd make an excellent father, if that's what you wanted to be. I think that… a good parent knows that doing what's best for their child isn't necessarily doing what's easier for them."

He patted his son on the shoulder and offered what reassurance he could. "Alice is right. There's plenty of time yet before hard decisions have to be made. Hopefully, Bella will call and you can see where you stand from there."

~0~

It was Tuesday and Bella had not called. That was when Edward decided to try a different tactic. He got Rosalie to let him into the studio, and then set off in search of Bella in the bustling  _Access Entertainment_  offices.

He found her on an interview set, following a woman with outrageously curly, fantastically red hair around with a clipboard.

They both stopped short when they spotted Edward. The red-head put on a smile that Edward recognized. He got it frequently when he was out with Rosalie as a lot of people automatically assumed he was a movie star or a model.

Bella's eyes widened in surprise, but then she was scowling.

"Hello, are you looking for someone?" the red-head asked in a high pitched baby-voice. The chick should be doing cartoon voiceovers.

"Actually, I was looking for Bella," Edward said.

Almost instantly the red-head's smile dropped. She whirled on Bella. "You know personal visits aren't allowed on the set," she all but growled.

"He wasn't invited, Ms. Glenn," Bella said through gritted teeth, glaring up at Edward in earnest.

"Ah, you're Victoria Glenn," Edward said smoothly, offering his hand. Obviously caught off guard, and a little flattered, Victoria shook it. "She's right, I apologize. This is completely a surprise visit." His eyes found Bella's again. "I came to see if we might talk. Maybe over lunch?" Edward's eyes darted over to Victoria's. "Unless you're busy of course."

"It's a bad time, Edward," Bella snapped.

Victoria, her eyes narrowing like a snake, looked between the two, taking in the tense atmosphere that flowed between them. This was, she was sure, no friend of Bella's. Then she put on a wide smile - her distinctly predatory feline look. "No, Bella," she said, her voice absolutely reeking with false sweetness. Her breath probably smelled like cotton candy at that moment - all spun sugar and hot air. "Go on ahead. I have this."

Bella's mouth dropped and she started to protest, but Victoria would have none of it, shooing her out to take a 'well-deserved' break.

Seeing that she wasn't going to win this argument, Bella retrieved her purse and walked away from Edward as fast as she could. Of course, he kept up with her easily, his long legs matching her stride as he fell into step beside her.

She waited until they were outside before she even acknowledged his presence. "What do you want?"

Edward had to bite his tongue to keep from snapping at her. When he was sure he was in control of his temper he smiled. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have come unannounced, it's just that you haven't returned any of my calls."

"That's probably because I don't want to talk to you," Bella returned.

Biting back his anger, Edward tried again. "I don't blame you," he said honestly.

That caught Bella off guard. She squinted at him and he sighed. "Look Bella, I know we didn't get off on the right foot-"

"Yeah," she scoffed. "That tends to happen when you suggest I should get rid of my baby."

A wave of guilt washed over Edward then and he frowned. "I am truly sorry about my assumption. I spoke without thinking and I regret that. I know it was insensitive. Can you understand that I was in shock about the situation?"

She stared at him again, searching his eyes, but she couldn't see anything but sincerity there. The atmosphere between them seemed to change abruptly. Instead of the charge like angry thunder and lightening, there was a static feel to the air then. There was the sensation that they were standing waist deep in the ocean, the waves trying to gently push them toward the shore – toward each other. Bella's face seemed to soften minutely, unable to keep her anger after his words and through the confusing, unfamiliar sensations she was feeling. "I can understand that," she said finally, grudgingly.

Edward seemed to visibly relax. "Will you let me take you to lunch? I know quite a few great places nearby," he offered.

Bella didn't like that some long forgotten part of her seemed to jump at the thought - like she was some teenager who'd just gotten asked out by the prom king. And she was irrationally annoyed at his subtle boast. From Jasper, she knew that he was a food critic and doubtless knew of all the best places to eat in the city.

On principle, people in Bella's industry were supposed to hate critics. She just needed to keep reminding herself of that. "Why?" she demanded.

He looked perplexed. "I was hoping we could talk…about the baby."

"My baby isn't any of your business," she snapped, glad that the anger was returning of its own volition now.

Edward stared at her incredulously. "How can you say that? It isn't just your baby."

"I didn't get knocked up on some one night stand, okay? I was responsible. I chose this baby, you didn't," she insisted stubbornly.

"Look," Edward said, pinching the bridge of his nose to try to keep his temper in check, "I'm trying to be nice here. Neither of us asked to be put in this situation. I understand that. But the bottom line is that you're carrying my child. I'm not going to walk away. If you try to keep me away, I  _will_ involve my lawyer."

Bella's whole face flushed with livid indignation and she opened her mouth to yell, but he was too quick.

"Bella, I don't  _want_ to do that," he said in that soft, sincere voice from her voicemails. Added with his eyes - deep and completely earnest - it was hard to not believe him. "I know this isn't what you wanted, but this is what you got. Can't we attempt to be friends first?"

She was still glaring, looking like she was attempting to come up with a bad enough name to call him. Then, suddenly, her lower lip was quavering, and she turned away quickly.

"Are you crying?" he asked, horrified when she brought the backside of her hand up to wipe her eyes. She might have been several shades of pain in the ass, but he didn't want to make her cry. It surprised him how much it made his heart twist.

"No," she insisted. "The baby obviously can't distinguish fury from sorrow," she muttered darkly.

He looked at her and his mouth twitched at the corners - upward, downward, upward, downward - as if he couldn't decide if it was okay to laugh. Bella looked up and saw the conflicting emotions on his face and then she let out a soft chuckle.

Sniffling the last of her tears away, Bella took a deep breath, attempting to see reason in this shitstorm of a situation. "You're right," she admitted quietly. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize," Edward said, his voice and eyes soft as he looked at her. He seemed so sincere.

"No, I do. I don't have to make things more difficult. I've been acting like you did this on purpose." She frowned, realizing in retrospect that she'd been rather unfair. This situation had to have been almost as difficult on him.

They were silent for another moment, regarding each other with curiosity, as if they were searching for a hint of falseness, or a catch. "Will you let me take you to lunch?" Edward asked carefully. "Maybe get to know each other a little?"

Again, Bella took a deep, calming breath, shaking off the immediate urge to say no. "Yes, but I'm choosing the place."

Edward opened his mouth to protest - he was a picky bastard about food and he knew it - but then he caught the challenging look in her eye. It was a test, he realized. She obviously knew that food was a control point for him.

He couldn't help but admire her then. For her small stature, she was obviously a tough cookie. He found himself smiling before he realized it. "Alright, Miss Swan," he said easily. "I can compromise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yay. They're talking. Wonder how that will go. ::waggles eyebrows::
> 
> Um, huge thank you to josieswan for beta'ing this beast and arguing with me when I needed to be argued with. MWAH.
> 
> I'm a sucker for pregnancy stories. Everything about pregnancy fascinates me. How did you tell special people you were pregnant?


	5. Pho You!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry about the delay onwards! Unless you're the person who has a problem with how I portray Rosalie. Darlin', SIGN your review. I think Rose is fascinating. Let's talk. I like talking. I totes get where you're coming from. Totes.
> 
> Disclaimer: These lovely characters are property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

Bella started to turn toward the employee parking garage but stopped when Edward spoke again. "My car is this way," he said with a nod of his head. Then he waited.

"You don't know where I'm going," she hedged.

"I will if you tell me," he pointed out.

They were dancing. Edward had let her lead, giving her control of picking the restaurant. Given that he was trusting her instinct when it came to food - something that, as a food critic couldn't have been easy - the least she could do was let him drive. She sighed and gave a little nod of consent. "Sure, okay."

When they got to his car, just half a block away, Bella started to laugh in earnest.

"What?" Edward asked, amused by her amusement. He found himself smiling at her without even realizing it. The sound of her laughter pleased him in some curious way.

"It's just that...this is my car," she explained.

His eyebrow quirked. "You drive a Volvo?" he asked as absently opened the door for her.

The gesture did not go unnoticed and Bella wondered whether she should be irritated or charmed. She decided that she was irritated that she was charmed. "Um, yes," she said, abruptly remembering that he had asked her a question. "Blue, though."

He leaned on her door for a beat longer than he meant to, then he hummed distractedly and closed the door before walking to his side of the car.

"I suppose that means you have good taste in cars," Edward said as he started the engine. Bella chanced a glance at him and noted that he was staring straight ahead, not looking at her. But the side of his mouth was lifted. "Now let's see how you are at restaurants." He looked at her expectantly.

"Just get to the freeway," Bella said vaguely.

For a moment, Edward looked like he was about to argue, but he let it go.

"Why a Volvo?" she asked suddenly. It wasn't that the silence was too awkward. In fact, the silence hadn't been heavy at all. Rather, Bella was insatiably curious about things that didn't quite add up.

There was a lot about Edward Cullen that didn't add up. If he was going to insist on being around, the least he could do was satisfy her curiosity.

He glanced at her before returning his eyes to the road. "What would you think I'd drive?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "It's just that the Volvo really isn't a ... single guy car."

"No, I suppose it isn't," Edward acquiesced. "But it's not a single woman car either," he pointed out.

Bella looked out the window, abruptly angry. "I bought it when I decided I wanted to have a baby," she said, her tone acerbic.

Out of the corner of his eye, Edward saw Bella's posture was tense. He sighed inwardly, knowing that her defenses had gone back up. "It's a good balance. It has a lot of power while still being a good, safe car for when my nieces are with me," he explained carefully.

Bella was glad that she was facing away from him because her eyebrows shot up. "Your nieces?"

"My brother's little girls. They're identical twins," he said, and it was easy to hear the adoration in his voice. "Katrina and Irina."

Bella didn't say anything for a long moment, processing this. According to Jasper, Edward was a consummate uncle, glad to hand his siblings back their children without taking on that responsibility himself, yet he thought enough about his nieces that he'd purchased a car with them in mind. "There's a lot of twins in your family," she murmured absently, more to fill the lull in conversation so that she could keep on thinking.

"Yes, but the twins gene is on the mother's side, so at least you don't have to worry about that," Edward said without thinking.

Almost instantly, Bella bristled. She didn't want to be reminded that there was any reason his genetics could affect her.

"Bella-" Edward began, but she cut him off.

"No...don't...," she took a deep breath, struggling to calm her spiraling emotions. "I'm not ready to talk about it without being furious. I'm trying. I know this isn't your fault...but..."

"I'll be careful," he promised. He really was trying hard. "I just like the taste of my own foot, apparently."

Her lips twitched. "Get off the freeway here," she directed.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going yet?" Edward asked easily, glad for the change of subject.

"You can see it from here," Bella said, nodding in the direction of the restaurant she'd chosen. Now that they were close she was startled by how suddenly ravenous she was. The morning sickness had  _finally_ started to wane a bit over the past week. She had every intention of going large with her meal.  _Triple_ meat.

While Bella was doing all she could to keep from salivating, Edward was trying to keep from squirming uncomfortably in his seat. A horrible, growing suspicion was percolating in the pit of his stomach - brewing and bubbling and filling the air with a heavy, coffee stench.

Edward hated coffee.

But not as much as he hated the restaurant they were quickly coming up to. "This is what you want?" he asked, trying to keep his tone even.

Unfortunately for him, Bella was perceptive. She'd taken in the way his knuckles were a little whiter as they gripped the steering wheel. His eyes were crinkled as he was furrowing his brows just a little bit.

And his lower lip was pouting out. Just a tad.

Bella had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. He had such beautiful lips. Full. They would be attractive on a boy or a girl.

She found herself imagining them on a tiny face and instantly, she was angry again. Then she was glad that he was horrified at the thought of McDonald's. She'd come here with every intent to push his buttons. "My favorite," she said enthusiastically.

He cleared his throat. "I wouldn't have pegged you for a McDonald's girl."

"What's wrong with McDonald's?" she demanded.

"Nothing," he said quickly.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm..." he trailed off when he saw the look on her face and realized he wasn't fooling anyone. "It's just... if you're going to have a hamburger, why wouldn't you want a  _real_ hamburger?"

"McDonald's hamburgers are real hamburgers."

"Real hamburgers are not gray," he countered.

"It says 100% beef right on the carton," she argued.

"Oh, sure," he scoffed. "The parts of it that are beef are 100% beef. But even then you have to wonder which parts of the beef it is."

"So you don't want to go to McDonald's in other words," Bella concluded. Despite her initial irritation, she found that his facial expressions were too amusing. She couldn't stay angry when he was arguing about things like McDonald's beef patties.

Edward sighed as he parked the car in the strip mall where the golden arches of doom was located. "No, no it's fine. They have salads, right? It has to be fairly impossible to mess up a salad," he muttered distractedly, even though he knew that wasn't true. He thought for a moment and decided, as a last ditch effort, to try a method that had occasionally worked on Emmett when they were kids. "You know who makes real burgers? Red Robins. That's a real burger. And you have a diverse selection of toppings and seasonings to choose from and endless fries  _and_ strawberry lemonade...with strawberries in it."

"I don't want a burger," Bella said, crossing her arms for effect.

Edward looked at her, a little thrown. "Chicken nuggets?"

Bella shook her head. Edward looked from her to the fast food joint and back. Then his eyebrows shot skyward. "Are you messing with me?" he blurted.

"I like McDonald's," Bella answered, carefully avoiding the question.

Getting more suspicious, Edward noticed her evasion. "You are. You're messing with me. If you weren't, we wouldn't have driven all the way over here to eat at McDonald's. There has to be a McDonald's every block and a half."

"Maybe I like the service here."

They stared at each other, Bella glaring.

But Edward had seen her real glare. This was not it. He looked surreptitiously at the rest of the little strip mall. Liquor store, nail place, laundromat, Mexican food... maybe.

Edward's stomach did a hopeful flip, perking up like a dog who heard the refrigerator door being opened. "You want Pho?" he guessed.

Bella couldn't help it. At the mention of the word her lips actually smacked in anticipation.

Taking that as a good sign, Edward got of the car, an anticipatory grin spreading across his features. Now he was close to salivating himself. Pho had that effect on people. "This is a good choice. It's pretty hard to find a bad Pho place."

"I wouldn't know. There's actually one closer to work, but this was the first one I ever went to," Bella admitted.

When they were seated Bella ordered a water and the large pho bowl with flank, brisket and tendon - triple meat. Edward ordered his with flank, brisket, tendon,  _and_ tripe, noticing that Bella's nose wrinkled adorably when he added the last meat.

The waiter asked if they wanted anything else. Bella hesitated, wanting to order a side of spring rolls but not wanting to look like a pig. Then she reminded herself that firstly, she was pregnant and if there was any perk to the whole ordeal that was pregnancy, it had to be that she could eat whatever grizzly combination of food she wanted at the quantity she wanted and no one was allowed to judge. Secondly, there was absolutely no reason that she needed, or wanted, to look good for Edward Cullen, so who cared?

That settled, Bella ordered the spring rolls.

"So,"she began, both figuring that it was her turn to try and make conversation and wanting to distract herself from the wonderful smells that were threatening to drive her mad, "What's the best thing you ever had? To eat, I mean."

"Mountain lion," Edward replied without missing a beat.

Bella blinked at him sporadically, sure she'd heard wrong. "What?"

"You know, the mountain lion population in South America is staggering, so they just started serving them up as main courses," Edward said conversationally, methodically rubbing his chopsticks together to smooth any splinters. "A rare mountain lion steak is about the most decadent thing I've ever had in my mouth."

She studied his face but his face was open and serious. "You have to be messing with me," she said, more to herself than anything.

"Of course I am," Edward replied.

Bella let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She wasn't one of those PETA types who went above and beyond to save the animals. Obviously, she was a carnivore and all that, but somehow the slaughter of mountain lions seemed inherently wrong to her.

"Mountain lion is gamy. I would never eat it again," Edward continued, oblivious to her internal monologue.

For the second time in less than five minutes, Bella's head snapped up to look at him. This time, though, he was chuckling. "Turnabout is fair play."

"Right, but what I did was a passive aggressive reaction because I was angry. You just think you're funny."

The next hour went surprisingly well. Though Bella was normally quiet around new people, she found herself opening up to this virtual stranger. As long they skirted around the issue of the baby, their conversation was almost intimate - as if they had known each other for ages. There was something about the earnest way Edward would look at her that made her answer his questions in full.

Perhaps it was just refreshing. In this day and age, people rarely actually wanted to know what was going on in other people's lives. In Hollywood, that habit of asking 'how are you?' when you really couldn't care less was even worse. But Edward listened as if her life was fascinating. He clucked in sympathy when she talked about working under Victoria. He seemed genuinely concerned when she spoke of Charlie's long, horrible illness. It was, he said, something he feared - his parents getting sick. Logically, he knew it was probably going to happen.

Eventually, they found themselves on the rather serious topic of love and relationships.

"Oh, I believe in love," Bella answered the inevitable inquiry that came up when anyone heard her viewpoint on relationships. "I just don't think it's magical. I think it gets in the way more than anything. People believe that love can work some kind of miracle – that it can be the glue that keeps them together for years. Well, it isn't glue. More often than not it's a blindfold that leads an otherwise logical person to overlooking a flaw they, ultimately, can't live with. Love isn't enough."

To her surprise, Edward didn't look appalled or pitying like so many others had. "Spoken like a woman who hasn't ever been in love," he observed, his voice not betraying any type of judgement at all.

"You have, I take it?"

"No," he admitted. "But I've seen the… magic," he smiled at her flippant term. "You know, my parents married straight out of high school. Now, even I would have said it was a stupid, stupid decision…and in a lot of ways it made their lives harder – but I think that they are more in love now than they have ever been. And I've seen that love does have the power to save. My sister…" he cut himself off. Though neither of them had said so, Rosalie was on the list of things they weren't going to talk about yet. "Well… anyway. It did take hard work for them to make it together. Most people don't understand that. You are right… love is most certainly not all you need.

The conversation came to a natural silence then and they were both suddenly aware that they were leaning forward, arms on the table. They were both smiling in that way people were prone to when they found someone else of a like mind. It was like a highlighter - with all the people in the crowded city, in the crowded world, there were those select few that would always be kindred.

Their small smiles fell slowly, and they both straightened up.

It wasn't that they didn't want to get along. They were both relieved, on a level. It was just confusing. If they had been two people truly meeting each other for the first time with no other complications - without the baby or the situation with Rosalie - they would have come away from that lunch as friends. Maybe even, if they were being honest with themselves, they would have left with a little crush - the kind that made them smile secret little smiles when they thought no one was looking.

Instead of all those positive feelings, they both left more confused.

~0~

That evening, Jasper and Jacob arrived at her house unannounced. She was annoyed because she knew somehow Jasper had found out that she'd talked to Edward. Then he had obviously called Jake for backup. They did that sometimes, when they thought she should talk about something that she would otherwise not.

Pushy motherfuckers.

However, Jasper came bearing ice cream - chocolate chip cookie dough to be exact - and so he was admitted entrance.

Jacob was carrying a huge jar of pickles. "Funny, Jake," Bella deadpanned as she let them in.

"What? You can't have enough pickles, Bells. They're a staple," he said in mock seriousness.

Jasper and Bella settled on the couch with the ice cream between them. Jake sat in the comfy arm chair, legs tossed carelessly over the side. Knowing that the would pester her until she talked, Bella told them about the meeting.

"I wonder what he's playing at," Jacob said, sounding irritated.

Bella perked up, glad she wasn't the only one who was at least suspicious, but Jasper sighed. "Why does he have to be playing a game? Seems to me that he's just trying to get to know you."

"Well, I don't want to get to know him. I don't trust him. I don't li-" She found herself unable to say that she didn't like him because that wasn't true...at least, not anymore. "I don't trust that the person he showed me today is really him."

"I'm sure that what you saw today is not all there is of him, sugar. You hardly know the guy. Why rush to judgement one way or another?" Jasper countered.

"I just don't understand. At the clinic, he looked at me like I was insane for wanting to keep this baby. Then he shows up today and he's talking about lawyers and that it was his baby too," Bella said, frustrated. She dropped the spoon she was holding back into the carton and wrapped her arms around her middle, feeling threatened.

Jasper sighed and put the ice cream off to the side so he could scoot closer to her. He put his arm around her shoulders and Bella leaned into him. "Honey, I know you're scared, but you're giving Edward a really hard time over something that isn't his fault."

Jacob scoffed. "He should leave her alone. How is that not his fault?"

"And if it was you?" Jasper asked, lifting his head to give Jacob a pointed stare. "What if it happened to you and Lizzie? What if some strange woman ended up with your baby? Would you be able to walk away from that child?"

The other man opened his mouth to argue but he was brought up short. Bella closed her eyes, remembering Jacob's words the day she told him that she was trying to get pregnant... how he would have had to tell her no if she'd asked him.  _I don't think I could have a kid out there and not be a father to him_ , he had said.

Was that what Edward wanted, ultimately? To be her baby's father on more than a biological level?

"I thought not," Jasper said quietly. "Bella, don't you think it would be better all around if you just gave him a chance? I don't think he knows what to do any more than you do."

Bella was beginning to feel tears prick at the corners of her eyes. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the whirlwind of emotions. She knew a little about hot fronts hitting cold fronts - the chaos it created. The hot feeling of her anger at the injustice of her situation, that this stranger was being forced into her life and her unborn baby's, was hitting the icy cold stab of pure terror. The result was threatening to overwhelm her with useless emotions. She didn't want to start a crying jag, it would just frustrate her more.

Because, logically and legally, she knew she didn't have a leg to stand on.  _If_ Edward was after some kind of custody over her child, she knew that he would probably get it. He had a job and a home. He had a biological right. This was what she had wanted so much to avoid. She didn't want anyone else to have a say in how she raised her child. She didn't want to be attached to anyone, having their life interfere with her own.

Not ready to talk about all her fears - from the insignificant to the downright ridiculous - Bella struggled with how to answer Jasper's question. "It's hard for me to trust him knowing that he's Rosalie's brother. He  _must_ have some opinion about the whole thing with Royce King. I can't imagine that it's positive. So yeah, when a person who has every reason to despise me treats me so...nicely, I find that a little suspicious. Then there's the whole fact that he's Rosalie's brother in the first place. Rosalie Hale, Jasper. How different can they possibly be if they were raised by the same people?"

Jasper gave a short little laugh. "In answer to your first question, I'll tell you from experience what Edward might be thinking. You know how I feel about Rosalie."

Both Bella and Jacob snickered. Rosalie had been the topic of discussion at many of their get togethers. Jasper did a particularly good impression of her self-important, nose-in-the-air strut.

"Well," Jasper continued, "I've tried to put that aside because, in all honesty, I don't know her. And how could my prejudice help, at this point? I mean, this is a fucked up situation, baby. Think about it from her point of view. She's feeling threatened and insecure because the baby her partner is having isn't hers, even by blood.

"And what if I let how Rosalie is affect what I thought of Alice? I mean - Alice is Rosalie's partner, what does that say about her? Even now I'll tell you...I would have been missing out. Because Alice - she's amazing. I'm glad that I know her. Of course - I wish I could have gotten to know her outside this situation, but that's just not the hand I was dealt," he said, smiling ruefully.

"Yeah, but to get her, you have to deal with the Ice Princess of the Universe. Poor Alice," Jacob muttered, crossing his arms.

Jasper was quiet for a minute. "I haven't seen much of her so far. But you know, I don't think her public persona is what she's like at home. Alice has told me some stories about her that I wouldn't have believed. She seems like a good partner," he finished, shrugging.

Bella lifted her head, staring at him with a hint of incredulity. "It's so weird to hear you say that."

In the run of things, Jasper was the most put out by Rosalie's behavior and had, in the past, done more than his fair share of griping about her. Then again, the diva-types were the bane of any producer's existence, so he was naturally biased.

Her best friend sighed. "Like I said, there's no point in dwelling on my biases. If we're going to be in each others lives for the long term - and Alice and I have discussed that; she wants me around, at least - then it's not going to help if I just concentrate on what I thought before. There's a lot about her that we don't know, Bells. I'm not saying she isn't who she is - even Alice will tell you that she can be uh," he struggled to overwrite his initial, more colorful choice of words, "She can be self-centered. But no one is one thing, you know? I'm just doing my best to see her for  _all_ that she is."

"Ugh," Bella grumbled, burying her head against his chest again. "Why are you being all reasonable?"

Jasper chuckled and stroked her hair soothingly. "That's why I brought this idiot," he said, gesturing at Jacob.

"Pffft. Idiot," Jacob responded, but he was smiling. He looked thoughtful for a minute. "I don't know, Bells. I was going to offer to beat him up for you," he joked, "but now... maybe we should wait until he takes some type of action. There's no point in getting upset until there's something to be upset over, right?"

"One day at a time," she said distractedly.

Part of her was almost looking forward to it. She wanted to know more about Edward; he intrigued her. Though it was a thorn in her side, at the very least, there was something to say about a man who could have walked away free and clear of any responsibility and yet didn't. She knew that she had been unreasonable with him, not letting him talk to her at first, yet he had been patient. She had seen the irritation cross his face and that he very deliberately quelled it several times. He was trying, really hard, not to antagonize her.

Her hand rested over her bump. One day at a time...but she knew those days were numbered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Gawd I'm hungry. Let's go get some pho.
> 
> Y'all, josieswan, she's totes making this a better story imho. I love her. Mwah, darling, mwah. And also thanks to tellingmelies. I struggled with this chapter. They were godsends.
> 
> How bad was your morning sickness?


	6. The Pink and Blue Elephant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry about review replies. I got so behind. SIGH. For the record, pho is a Vietnamese noodle soup dish. I eat mine with flank, rare steak (it cooks in the water) and brisket. It. Is. FABULOUS.
> 
> Disclaimer: Not mine. I donut own them. I do own a hankering for cake though.

**Copious.**

_**The Tower of Learning - Rufus Wainwright: I'm looking for the copious prize** _

**SoCal.**

_**Inside Out - Eve6 : SoCal is where my mind states, but it's not my state of mind.** _

**Appropriate. Antidisestablishmentarianism**

_**Almost Famous, Eminem: Get off my antidisestablishmentarianism, you prick.** _

**I'm amazed.**

_**Amazed - Lonestar: Every little thing that you do, baby I'm amazed by you.** _

**Alright! I give in. You win!**

Ever since Edward had found out that Bella had an unnatural talent for remembering song lyrics, he had been trying to stump her. At first, Bella had been unsure if she wanted to play this game. But then, she was, perhaps stupidly, proud of her hidden talent, and naturally competitive. She'd played back.

Suddenly, Bella's phone disappeared from her hands. "Hey!" she protested, reaching for it. Jasper held it out of her grasp, peering at the screen. His eyes widened in surprise.

"Bella," he turned to grin at her, "You're texting with Edward?"

Scowling, Bella yanked her phone back. "You're nosy, you know that?"

Her friend chuckled and looked back at the clipboard he was carrying. "You were smiling at your phone," he informed her nonchalantly.

Bella sighed. "Aren't you the one who said I should try to get along?"

Jasper pursed his lips and didn't answer. He looked entirely too amused at the thought. Bella bristled in irritation and crossed her arms, leaning tiredly against the wall of the supply room they were in.

Occasionally, Edward made it easy to forget that she wanted to be angry with him. Oh, she knew that she shouldn't be trying to hold onto her vexation with him, but it seemed like digressing a point she wasn't ready to concede yet.

Unconsciously, her hand moved over her belly. For the millionth time she tried to sort out what could possibly be going on in Edward's head. In theory she understood what he was doing. What she was having a problem getting over was the idea that her baby was a theory, a principle. She didn't give a damn about his principles when it came to her child's life.

She would never have let someone be a large part of the baby's life that thought of it as an obligation. The idea that Edward was trying to claim fatherhood because of a mix up that neither of them could have ever planned for was abhorrent to her.

In Bella's opinion, simple biology did not a parent make. One of her good friends, Jessica Stanley, often scathingly referred to her father as her sperm donor. She had endless amounts of resentment for having been repeatedly exposed to the man who'd told her repeatedly that she was not his choice. Responsibility had made Mr. Stanley stay with Jessica's mother for the first seven years of her life only to abandon her almost totally.

Frustration swept over her again.

Jasper cleared his throat, noticing the sour look on her face. "So, is that outfit new, doll?" he asked lightly.

"No," she answered with a small smile. It was true – the outfit wasn't new. However, it was one that she'd had in the back of her closet for ages, and she'd never worn it. It had been a size or two too large for her, and she'd only kept it because she kept forgetting to return it. That morning when she was getting ready for work, she'd discovered that her pants were getting far too tight for comfort.

Her discovery had prompted her to stand in front of her full length mirror in only her underwear. She'd examined herself slowly, twisting to a side profile.

The bump she'd been able to feel when she pressed hard enough before was visible now, though only barely. With loose fitting clothes on, no one would notice, but nearly naked, it was obvious to Bella. That morning, she had grinned at herself like an absolute idiot. There wasn't a lot about pregnancy so far that she'd enjoyed, but the new curve of her body was, she felt, inherently beautiful.

Impulsively, she reached out and tugged Jasper's hand toward her. She wasn't looking forward to that part of pregnancy where people thought her belly was fair game for petting, but to that point no one had touched her bump besides her. She guided Jasper's hand, pressing it against the slight bulge.

He whistled and looked up with a huge, enthusiastic grin on his face. Bella grinned back at him, but then Jasper said exactly the wrong thing. "You're going to let me take you shopping for maternity clothes soon, aren't you?"

Bella's grin faltered. She stepped away from him, coughing to cover her disappointment. "Um, I think I'm putting that particular torture off as long as possible."

Jasper smiled, amused, and shook his head. "I'd probably be better off getting them myself. Who knows what you'll resort to before you go," he made a wide, frightened face, "shopping."

"I have some potato sacks that I can work with," she threatened.

"Why do I believe you'd actually do it?" Jasper rolled his eyes and turned back to his task.

Once he'd turned away Bella allowed herself to slump against the wall again, finding a nice box to sit on. She tried to sort out just how much of the disappointment she felt was hormonal. But no, once she thought about it, she had to acknowledge that she was legitimately crestfallen at Jasper's reaction.

Her joy over her pregnancy felt so muted. With the whole situation with Edward, it felt eclipsed. While she cringed at the thought of people fawning over her distended belly, she wouldn't have minded a close friend's personal happiness for her. Maybe a little giddiness over the baby?

She closed her eyes briefly, thinking about her parents. Charlie wouldn't fawn, but he would smile. He would smile at the thought of a grandchild to bounce on his knee and spoil rotten. It wouldn't even occur to him to think about maternity clothes.

Her mother, Renee, might get a little touchy-feely. But then, Renee was in Florida. Bella was sure she'd fly over for the birth, but until then she didn't expect much.

"So what are you hiding from anyway?" Jasper asked, breaking into her thoughts again.

God, she got distracted easy these days. She wondered briefly if this was the pregnancy brain that she often heard of.

"Well, I came in here for something specific, but hell if I can remember what that was," she responded wryly.

Jasper studied her carefully and chuckled. "You know that glow you wanted so badly? You got it, doll. You are alight this fine morning."

Blushing lightly but pleased, Bella opened one eye to look at her friend. "Oh, really? Then why are you laughing at me?"

"Because, you also have bags under your eyes," he chuckled. "It's like your body doesn't know whether to be alive with giddiness or dead tired."

"I'm exhausted," Bella admitted. "And I still get sick every once in a while. How fun is that?"

"All the tiredness and sickness is supposed to go away in the second trimester, isn't it?" Jasper asked.

"Supposedly."

"Well, you're almost there," he comforted.

Bella closed her eyes again, willing away the ridiculous disappointment. "Officially, I entered the second trimester three days ago," she said as disinterestedly as possible. Suddenly she was like those irritating women who pouted when their boyfriends didn't remember important dates. He'd been there when the baby was conceived after all. Technically speaking, his baby had been conceived that same day. How hard was it to remember?

Her phone chimed then. Bella dug it out of her pocket and glanced at the screen. "Shit." With a groan of dissatisfaction, she dragged herself to her feet. "I am urgently needed apparently."

"That woman urgently needs to take a long walk off a short pier," Jasper groused, correctly guessing that it was Victoria who was summoning her away.

Bella made a vague noise in answer and walked away.

That evening, when work was  _finally_  over, Bella had almost gotten to where her car was parked when an arm wrapped around her waist, yanking her back. She shrieked and instantly brought her elbow backward into her attacker's stomach.

"Fuck! Bella!" Jasper wheezed.

Bella whirled, hands to her mouth, to find Jasper doubled over, trying to catch his breath. "Oh! Jesus, Jasper you scared the living hell out of me!"

Despite the pain radiating through his chest, Jasper started laughing. "I suppose I deserved that," he said, straightening up. "You looked so spaced out; I was trying to startle you."

"Well, you succeeded. What's wrong with you? Don't you know you shouldn't frighten someone in my delicate condition?" she smacked his shoulder lightly.

He snorted. "Delicate my ass," he said, rubbing the spot on his chest where she'd hit him. "Now, come on," he gestured with his head toward his car.

Bella was about to argue that she was dead tired and just wanted to go home, but her heart was still racing. Adrenaline was better than the caffeine she couldn't drink, apparently. "Where are we going?" she asked, following after him.

"Patience, young padawan," Jasper admonished as he started the car.

They made small talk about the rest of their day on their way to wherever it was they were going. "She's gotten worse lately," Jasper noticed.

Bella shrugged. "I suppose. I don't know. Does bitchiness have levels?"

The conversation was interrupted when Bella finally realized where they were going. "Oh! Electric Lotus," she all but squealed, suddenly giddy. "What's the occasion?"

Electric Lotus was their favorite Indian food restaurant. The problem was, no one else in their crew liked Indian food. Plus, it was far enough away from their home and work that they didn't go there often.

Jasper snorted. "Doll, I may have a very pretty boyfriend, but I still have the man-gene that lets me know when I'm in trouble. I made you upset earlier today. Now, I'm entirely clueless as to what I did, but I know I did something."

Bella grinned sheepishly as they drove up to the valet, but said nothing. "Aren't you going to tell me what I did?" Jasper asked as they walked in.

"It really wasn't your fault," she assured, not wanting to get into how she felt. She'd spent the afternoon convincing herself that it was ludicrous to feel bad that someone didn't automatically ooo and aww over her burgeoning little bump.

Jasper was amused, however, when she ordered the chicken Jelfrazzi. As a rule, Bella normally disliked bell peppers. However, currently, the thought of bell peppers cooked with onions, tomatoes, chilies, spices and curry was making her mouth water.

"I thought bell peppers gave you heartburn."

"They do. But I want them," she shrugged. "Baby is obviously trying to torture me."

"Kids today," Jasper shook his head. "No respect, I tell ya."

The discussion inevitably turned to work again "Can I ask you a question, Bella?"

"Another one?" she raised her eyebrow.

Jasper worried his napkin between his fingers, instantly alerting Bella to the fact that he was probably going to say something she wasn't going to like. "Here's what I don't get, Hells Bells. You're not a woman to be trifled with. I mean, you beat a man up just for scaring you-"

"Hey! We established that was your fault," she protested.

He smirked. "And lord knows you aren't making Edward's life any easier – which I understand entirely," he placated quickly. "So tell me, how does that same Bella let a woman like Victoria walk over her?"

"I don't-" Bella cut off, knowing that wasn't entirely accurate. "She's my boss, Jasper. I'm supposed to be doing what she says. I'm not getting paid to like her."

"Yes, she's your boss, but she only treats you like dirt because you let her."

"That's what it's all about isn't it? Paying your dues?" Bella aggressively stabbed her chicken. "I work for a tyrant like her now so I don't have to do it down the line."

Jasper covered his face with his hand. "Oh Christ, is that what you're doing? All this time…" He shook his head, muttering to himself. "I should have known."

"What are you talking about?"

Not speaking right away, Jasper shoved his food around his plate, gathering his thoughts. "Bella, you know at this point you can practically walk into the writer's room of any show on this network or any other for that matter? Hell, you could probably get a movie job if you talked to the right people."

"Not this again," she muttered, but, as usually happened when Jasper brought this topic up, Bella could hear his absolute faith in her.

"Look, I understand what the whole thing with Royce did to you, okay? But you earned your promotion. Who cares what other people think? It's true that not everyone gets what they earned. In this business, luck counts almost as much as talent and hard work," he conceded. "But that doesn't make you less worthy of your job."

Bella bit her lip and didn't answer. The thought of getting away from Victoria was tempting...

"Just promise you'll think about it. Now," he straightened up from the way he'd been leaning across the table, "the baby demands dessert."

Her smile flickered. "How do you know that?"

"Tell me it's not true," he challenged.

Bella pretended to sigh in defeat. "Yes, it's true. Demanding child." She shook her head mock-mournfully.

~0~

"Explain something to me."

Edward started and looked up to find his sister-in-law sliding into the booth opposite him. He looked around for his brother, but Emmett was no where to be found. "I'll tell you what, Tanya, you explain how you found me here, and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

She rolled her eyes and ordered an iced tea from the waitress who meandered over then. "I just pay attention. I know you like to get out of the house when you have an article due. You've only mentioned a hundred times, 'The Alcove on Hillhurst has free wi-fi and the best cake in the known universe'. Which, you're buying me a slice of whatever that is," she pointed to his plate.

"This," Edward gestured with his fork, "is a St. Honore cake. It is everything that's good in the world in one cake. Chocolate mousse, vanilla sponge cake, rum liquor..."

"Oh, my god. Stop it. I'm going to start drooling," she protested. "Go get me one already."

She reached out and snatched the pastry that decorated the top of Edward's cake before she could help herself. "Hey!" Edward protested. "That was mine."

"Mmmm," Tanya's eyes fluttered. She held up the little pastry, grinning at him. "What? You're already enough of a cream puff. You don't need any extra."

Edward glared at his sister-in-law. "It's called a profiterole."

"It's a cream puff," she repeated. "Now go get me a piece. Please." She smiled sweetly.

He rolled his eyes but stood and ambled over to the counter. He came back a few minutes later, sliding a plate of what was definitely not St. Honore cake in front of her. "What's this?" she eyed the dessert with half a pout. On the one hand, it wasn't what she asked for. On the other hand, it looked simply divine.

Edward smirked. "It's a Chocolate Hazelnut tart."

"Ha," Tanya laughed. "Tarts for the tart, touche, Edward."

He slid a to go carton over to her as he sat in his seat again. "And Princess Cake for my princesses."

"My, my they do think of everything. Emmett is going to be beside himself."

They sat in companionable silence for a moment before Edward finally gave in. "Alright, why am I buying you cake?"

"It's actually quite a bargain. My typical rates, even for a consultation, are quite a bit higher," she said, nonchalantly tucking in to her tart.

With a sigh, Edward closed his laptop. "Tanya," he started.

"No, you need to hear this, Edward," Tanya interrupted him. "A lot of law is all about precedence, okay? I know you're trying to play the very patient good guy. Maybe that will work, maybe it won't. If it doesn't, your involvement in your baby's life even now can be a mitigating circumstance if you want some level of custody."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply. This was why she'd tracked him down alone, no doubt. These conversations in front of the family tended to end with his parents urging him not to push Bella and to give her the benefit of the doubt, Rosalie snarking about how that would just bite him in the ass, Alice glaring at both of them and Emmett trying to make light of the whole situation.

"Bella's just beginning to let go of some of her anger at everything," he said calmly. "Right now, if I so much as allude to the baby, she gets tense. She's never going to let me be involved with anything in her pregnancy."

To that point it had almost been a relief to Edward. Bella wasn't trying to shut him out of her life completely, but she wasn't inviting him in either. He had no clue what he was supposed to do in regards to the whole pregnancy thing. The websites he had visited had many suggestions for dad, but most of them assumed that dad and mom were together. He doubted she would be open to a nice foot rub from the likes of him.

"You need to try," Tanya urged. "If this thing ever had to go to before a judge, you have a very good chance of being awarded some level of custody. But if it does get that far, she'll argue any point she can, and your actions now can either help you or harm you."

Edward continued to pull in deep, even breaths. His head was spinning. While he was trying to gain Bella's trust he hadn't really thought much about the baby. On some level he knew he was compartmentalizing without really looking at the whole picture.

For a moment, he made himself think about having custody of a baby. The concept of being a father when he'd made the distinct decision _not_ to be was still so foreign to him. One of the reasons why he was being so patient with Bella is because he completely understood her anger. When he thought about the choice being taken away from him - the choice to not have a baby - he was more than a little bitter.

A little voice in the back of his mind reminded him that he could walk away.

But no. For so many reasons, he couldn't.

So, he just kept on taking the next logical step. If he couldn't let her disappear, he was trying to befriend her - get to know her.

Of course, logically, what Tanya was saying made sense too.

~0~

That was how Edward found himself in the waiting room right before Bella's first ultrasound appointment. He'd gotten the information from Jasper by telling him the same thing that he told Bella.

"We can't keep not talking about this forever. I want to be a part of this."

To say Bella was pissed off was an understatement of epic proportions. For long minutes, she couldn't even see straight. She had to force herself to calm down, not only because her rising blood pressure was bad for the baby, but because she knew, in her heart of hearts, that he was right.

This problem wasn't just going to go away.

So they made small talk. Edward tested the waters by asking if she'd experienced any morning sickness. It seemed like a benign enough question he might ask any pregnant woman.

"Oh, no," Bella had answered. Before he could comment how that must have been refreshing she added, "I usually got sick sometime afternoon. Well, I suppose two A.M. counts as morning, but dark o'clock is still night to me," she said wryly.

Edward chuckled in sympathy.

There was one thing Edward was especially curious about. He took his time, trying to find the right way to put it that wouldn't sound too intrusive."It's weird what different doctors want, isn't it? Alice's doctor ordered an ultrasound for her at nine weeks, but this is your first at 13," he said easily. Then he shrugged.

Bella cleared her throat, feeling unreasonably guilty. "Actually, my doctor wanted me to come in at 10 weeks."

Why Bella kept telling unnecessary truths in Edward's presence, she would never know. She was starting to irritate herself. Then, it might have had something to do with the warm sensation that radiated in her chest that he knew how far along she was.

She didn't miss the disapproving look that crossed his face. "What?" she demanded.

"Nothing." He looked down at the magazine in his lap.

"Just say it."

He breathed deeply, knowing this wasn't going to go over well. "It's just that...with the way the baby was conceived, your doctor might have had legitimate concerns."

"I don't understand why you care," she snapped, her temper getting the better of her. "If I miscarried it would take care of all your problems."

"Bella," he said quietly but firmly. Stubbornly, she refused to look up at him. Without another moment's hesitation he got down on his knees in front of her so he could look her straight in the eye. "Regardless of how I may have felt about having a child of my own, I would never, ever, ever wish that for you. And I didn't mean to imply anything... I was just concerned, that's all."

Completely taken aback by his response, Bella didn't say anything at first. Before her brain had started working again, a nurse appeared in the doorway, calling them in.

Edward and Bella were mostly quiet after that. They smiled awkwardly at the nurse who asked if this was dad and commented on what a beautiful baby they were baking.

All too soon they were alone again, waiting for the ultrasound technician to arrive.

"Alice is slight," Edward murmured into the heavy silence.

"What?" Bella narrowed her eyes, her hands self consciously traveling to her stomach, wondering if he was commenting on any excess weight.

"Oh, no. Bella. You're fine. I mean, you're beautiful, I mean," he stumbled. He growled slightly and tried again. "I mean, that's probably why her doctor wanted her to come in earlier, at eight weeks. She's just so tiny. I'm sure if it were important for you to go at ten weeks, your doctor would have told you that," Edward reasoned.

"I wouldn't put this baby in danger knowingly," Bella muttered back fiercely.

"Believe me, I know that." He'd experienced, was currently experiencing, first hand her mother-bear protectiveness. Rather than be annoyed by it, he couldn't help but find it a positive factor. Children were simply not something their parents should be careless about.

The technician came in then, introducing herself and talking them through the process. A little shy, especially in front of Edward, Bella lifted her shirt. Trying to give her privacy, Edward kept his eyes trained on the monitor.

The technician moved the wand over the gentle swell of her belly, and abruptly the room filled with a quick, whirring tempo. Though she had been expecting it, Bella felt her throat get tight. It was her baby's heartbeat - fast and steady. On the monitor the odd, undulating image she'd been waiting for appeared.

"There's a head. Body. And these little spec like things right here," the technician pointed to a a vaguely defined bit on the monitor, "are hands."

The emotion that welled in Bella then was almost painful in its intensity. Her heart felt full - close to bursting.

A small, quick intake of breath drew Bella's eyes away from the blurry image of her baby, nestled safe inside her. She looked up to the source of the noise, finding Edward's eyes wide and glued to the picture on the screen. His lips were parted as if he were soundlessly whispering the word 'wow'. Feeling her eyes on him, he looked down at her.

In that moment, everything they had been to each other to that point fell away. He wasn't an unwelcome intruder in her and her child's life. She wasn't the antagonistic woman who was trying to keep him from doing the right thing. It didn't matter that they both held some resentment at their carefully laid life plans gone awry. In that moment they were connected by a shared awe at the life they - however unconventionally - had created. Hearing and seeing it, proof positive - they were immersed in something more powerful than they could have predicted.

Edward smiled - a soft, tender quirk of his lips. Bella found herself smiling back and laughing quietly as she looked back to the monitor in time see the barely discernible, little arms move.

Tentative, Edward put a light hand on her shoulder. Bella felt a warmth go through her. This was the connection that she had missed - someone to marvel with her. A tear trickled down her cheek and for once she didn't try to push the emotion away. Instead, she just reached her hand up, putting it over his, and she basked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The Alcove is a real place. I don't know if they have wi-fi, but they do have cake. Oh. My. GODBERRIES, do they have cake.
> 
> I'm hungry.
> 
> Thank you to josieswan - beta of supreme excellence. She even corrected a comma in my A/N... now that's dedication!
> 
> How did your first ultrasound go? Did the baby wave at you?


	7. We Are Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There were FF problems when I posted so do make sure that you've read chapter 6 before you move on here. There's cake...and an ultrasound. Mmmmm. Cake.
> 
> Disclaimer: Not mine. I donut own them.

The Internet was the biggest enabler known to the history of mankind. It didn't matter what sort of ridiculous thought you had, the information super highway made it entirely too easy to indulge in things that were better dismissed.

Bella's finger hovered above the submit button, sighing and silently cursing herself.  _This is stupid,_ her exasperated mental voice kept on reminding her.

A week and a half ago, a couple days after her first ultrasound, Bella had been on Facebook. It was one of those snowball effects. She clicked onto Jasper's wall looking for a video he'd posted the day before and there it was:  _Jasper has commented on Alice Hale's photo_.

Though she tried to ignore those little words, the lure of easy information was just too great. She clicked. Alice Hale, when she wasn't wearing the face of a woman who'd just been told she was carrying a stranger's baby, had a wide grin and mischievous, bedroom eyes. Her head was faced forward but the rest of her body stood in profile, displaying a perceptible bump at belly level. The caption read, 15 weeks!

Jasper's comment was amidst a slew of others...including one from Edward.

That was when Bella made her second mistake. She clicked on his name. In a fit of wild spontaneity- which she would forever blame on the baby - she sent a friend request.

The baby was a sucker - obviously easily swayed by pretty words and earnest eyes.

The atmosphere between Edward and Bella was somewhat surreal as they'd left the doctor's office the day of the first ultrasound. They were both quiet as they descended the steps side by side. There was a perceptible change between them that was a mixture of the wonder they'd both felt watching their baby on the monitor, and the charge - like static - that made them acutely aware of each other. Instead of parting ways quickly as they might have done just a few days previous, Edward had followed Bella to her car. Neither spoke, but it seemed to Bella like there were words on the tip of her tongue - she just didn't know how to form them.

He'd opened the door for her and leaned in, hesitating. " _Listen... if you need something, anything at all, you can call me._ "

As was inevitable, when Edward accepted her friend request the Facebook effect happened. Bella found herself inundated by requests: Alice Hale, Emmett Cullen, Tanya Cullen.

Social networking was evil.

Somehow, clicking through Edward's family's profiles and albums felt better than actually going through his. She quickly discovered that Emmett had manipulated her sonogram picture to make it look like the baby held a tropical drink in its barely there hand.

It was only lucky she'd been alone when she discovered that little gem, because she laughed for five minutes straight. She'd even commented back:  _Oh! So that's the source of my horrendous heartburn. Cocktail party in my uterus!_ That had gone over well with the elder Cullen brother - or at least she assumed that's what the  _like_ meant. He'd additionally commented:  _Good luck with THAT little party animal!_

In the past, she'd rolled her eyes at the Facebook stalking friends and co-workers had participated in. It was all the rage - and most of the drama - in college. She told herself it was slightly different in her case. There had always been part of her, even as she fought Edward's unwelcome presence in her life, that wanted to know more about his family. For her baby's sake, of course. There were the questions of family illnesses and the like...

But, what she couldn't help thinking about most was the genetics. She looked at pictures of a couple tagged as Esme and Carlisle Cullen - his parents, no doubt - and wondered if her baby would inherit his grandfather's honey blond hair. She imagined a boy who would grow to tower over her like Emmett Cullen, or a girl with Esme's button nose.

They were all lovely. Physically speaking at least, Edward Cullen's genetics were flawless. She'd taken the sonogram picture from where it was on her desk and traced her finger over the baby-shaped mass, wondering how that little person would turn out. She imagined tiny faces with different pieces of all the people that had come together before him. Charlie, Renee, Gran Marie... Esme and Carlisle... Edward. Genes and pretty features had been decided the moment sperm met egg. It was just a matter of letting the primordial mixture bake.

Earlier that very morning, a stray ad caught her eye as she was browsing pregnancy forums. The concept was one she'd seen over and over. You take your photo and the photo of another person, the website blends your combined features to create a child. They always looked weird.

Somehow, that wasn't stopping Bella from what she was doing. She'd carefully paged through each of the photos Edward was tagged in - something she hadn't allowed herself to do before - to find the perfect picture of his face.

Bella almost wasn't aware of what she was looking for until she found it. The picture was a single shot of Edward. He was smiling – not in that lopsided way that made her chest warm or that broad way that made her want to smile back, but a small smile that bordered on a smirk. His eyes seemed to sparkle with amusement in the photo

Objectively speaking, he was beautiful.

Bella grumbled under her breath as she saved his photo and uploaded it to the website. She waited, pretending she wasn't as eager to get the barest idea of what her baby might look like.

The child that popped on the screen was breathtaking. Full lips, fair skin, her brown eyes and Edward's curious shade of hair. The child looked like a girl though Bella had to admit that any boy-child that shared their genetics would probably be very pretty. Even Emmett, as broad as he was, wasn't classically handsome; he was pretty.

Completely unable to control herself now, Bella flipped back to the Facebook page she had yet to close. It was an album under Tanya's profile. In it, Edward was on the grass, mid-wrestle with one of the doll-like twins in the protective cage of his arms. His head was thrown back in a laugh she'd never seen in person... all wide mouth and teeth.

Her over-active imagination placed the child from her generated photograph in is arms instead of his blond haired niece. The image came alive and she imagined little girl giggles mixed with his deep chuckling. Then he looked up, right at her, with shining, adoring eyes. His smile, in her mind, made her heart speed.

Abruptly, she closed the website, and pushed herself away from the computer. Her heart was racing and twisting painfully in her chest. She wanted that picture – my God how she wanted it in that moment. The desperate need in her made her head spin.

She knew, though, that the image in her head was just a little-girl fantasy. Real life didn't look like that for more than a few minutes at a time. Real life was the baby screaming its head off. Babies were loud, and messy, and needy, and totally unaware of what a good night's sleep was. She was ready for that – at least, as ready as anyone who wasn't in the middle of it possibly could be. She had concentrated on that negative stuff before she thought about the tiny clothes, baby giggles, and impossibly tiny toes. She'd wanted to be sure she'd thought of the realities of raising a child before she thought about the idyllic fantasies. She'd thought about it and chosen it knowingly.

But Edward…

Edward hadn't chosen it. Jasper made the mistake of telling her – back when this all began – about the conversation they'd had when they were just two strangers donating sperm to help out friends and family.  _I don't want to be a dad…I made a decision a long time ago to take myself out of the Dad-pool._

She couldn't fool herself into thinking they would somehow become a happy family. This was not a child conceived out of a mutual love, or even a mutual like. It was entirely possible that, even if he did have completely good intentions, Edward would end up resenting the baby.

He was trying to do the right thing. In this case, he was trying to right by the child he'd accidentally helped create. Bella could understand that. If, somehow, the shoe had ended up on the other foot, she could not have walked away from her progeny, trusting that a stranger wasn't one of those psychopathic parents who taped their kids to walls and the like.

Maybe, if he trusted her, he would leave her alone. She sincerely doubted it, but she also firmly believed that any relationship – friends, lovers, co-workers – needed trust in order to work. She owed it to her child, if Edward was going to be a part of their lives regardless, to gain his trust – and to let him earn hers.

Well, then they would have to start talking about some things they'd been tip-toeing around.

Putting on his shoes, Bella again thought about how if she were him, she would never trust the woman who'd used his sister's sex tape to get ahead. He should know the truth about that – the whole, honest truth.

Whether or not he would believe it was a different story.

~0~

"Auuuuuuunt Rooooooseee," Katrina squealed in that almost sing-song way that kids do. She was currently cradled in Rosalie's arms, her little feet kicking as she giggled.

"What? Don't you want to be my baby, Katie?" Rosalie asked innocently. She cuddled Kate closer and rocked her like she was an infant.

"Kate is a bbaaaaayyyyybbbyyyy. And I'm a big girl," Irina cackled from her spot. She was wedged between Emmett and Edward, showing her uncle her fascinating collection of leaves…and weeds…and pine needles. Edward was pretending to pay rapt attention.

Tanya had needed a night out with her friends, so Emmett had enlisted his siblings to help him baby-sit. He didn't need the help – he was an able, hands-on kind of dad – but he did like hanging out with his brother and sister.

"She's a natural at the whole kids thing," Emmett mused, watching their sister with his daughter and smiling. He turned his attention back to Edward. "Tanya wants to take the girls to the observatory tomorrow. It should be all kinds of cute. Mom is already beside herself with the thought of all the pictures she's going to take. You want in?"

"Can't," Edward said, a little regretfully. Outings with the twins were often hilarious. He could just imagine Tanya yelling at Emmett now ' _Don't let them touch anything we can't afford to replace!'_

"You have a date or something? What's his name?" Emmett asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Despite Edward's repeated assurances that he wasn't looking for a significant other - aka, it wasn't like he didn't get action, but he certainly wasn't going to bring those girls home to meet the folks - Emmett continued to question Edward's sexuality... or sex drive...or lack thereof.

Edward frowned a little. "No. Well, not really."

Before he could explain, a timid little voice interrupted them. "Daddy?"

Both the men looked down to find a squirming Irina looking up at them with huge, sorrowful eyes. "I had an asi-dent," she confessed.

Emmett sighed. "Irina, why didn't you tell me you needed to go?"

She pouted her little lips and batted her eyelashes. Edward had to cover his smile with his palm. Emmett was going to go insane when these girls hit dating age. "I forgotted."

With another sigh, Emmett turned to Edward, "Dude," he started.

"Oh, no," Edward said, holding his hands up. "That's Daddy-duty."

Emmett stood, taking Irina's hand. "You should get some practice in. This will be you soon enough," he said over his shoulder.

That kind of innocent remark still shocked Edward to his core. It was like cold water being thrown in his face, or that sensation you got when you fall in a dream. It made him feel out of sorts with his own reality.

He sat back on the couch, watching his sister play with his niece. It was easy to see her as a mother. She was a natural nurturer. When he'd gotten sick when they were kids, she'd tended to him even when he didn't need tending. She would bring him water, and orange juice. She'd made him wear a cap on his head because she'd read somewhere that most body heat was lost through the head so, obviously, if he was going to get better he just needed to keep his hat on. When he got cuts and scrapes, it had been Rosalie he ran to instead of his mother. She'd clean his wounds and bandage him up, even though they were both so young that the bandage was always lopsided.

Rosalie had wanted kids of her own since she was a child herself. It was one of the reasons her path with Royce had been so surprising and disappointing, and one of the reasons that her peace with Alice was so relieving. It was putting right a picture that had been tilted off-kilter for too long.

Emmett, too, had taken naturally to being a father. He made it look easy - like their father always had. His easy going nature made things like throw-up all over his new shirt and Play-Do in the DVD player no big deal. A week ago, Emmett had fallen asleep on the couch only to be awaken when Katie squirted her juice box in his face. That would have annoyed the shit out of Edward. Children had just not been part of his life plan. He couldn't imagine his day to day life with a baby in it.

The ultrasound had been a turning point for him. Up to that point he'd been taking the steps he needed without really considering the enormity of his situation. When the room had filled with the baby's heart beat and he'd seen this obviously living, moving creature on the screen... the feeling that had come over him was overwhelming. He'd seen his nieces' ultrasound picture and had been filled with a giddy kind of wonder, but this was wholly different.

Regardless of circumstance it was  _theirs -_ his and Bella's child. The awe that had filled him at that moment was a feeling that he'd never experienced. He'd felt the sting of tears before he'd even put words to the emotions that turned in him. His heart seemed to grow, and for long moments he couldn't even breathe.

And he was fucking terrified.

"Jesus, Edward. You look like someone's got your balls in an iron grip," Rosalie's voice interrupted his pondering.

Edward's head snapped up, his eyes narrowed in disapproval. Then he realized that Katie wasn't in the room anymore. She must have run off to find her dad and sister.

Rosalie studied him carefully before sitting down beside him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, too quickly.

She snorted, giving him a look. Edward stared back stubbornly. Their conversation was silent but clear. He couldn't lie to her. He could try, but she would figure it out as surely as if she'd read his mind. That was just the way they were.

"What did she say now?" Rosalie demanded.

Tiredly, Edward ran a hand over his eyes. "You're so quick to assume that she's said something wrong. In all honesty she's being pretty damn understanding with this whole thing." He sighed. "She said she wants to talk tomorrow."

"I don't understand how you trust her at all. Mark my words, anything you say will end up on broadcast television. She's just waiting to get the best story she can," Rosalie groused, crossing her arms.

Edward was very tired of this argument. His sister had been very vocal, and downright worried, about Bella going to the press. Rosalie's choice of partner was not something she was ready to discuss, and definitely not something that she would enjoy hearing gossip rags hypothesize over. She was content with her celebrity status. As it was, she wasn't bothered too much. She was photographed when she was seen out and about, and she was content with how she was portrayed currently: a diva who walked into every public function with an amazing wardrobe, a sassy attitude, and left the same way she came in - alone. Most people assumed she could have her choice of leading Hollywood bad-boys. Most people assumed she'd already been with the majority of them. Her public persona - the bitch with a tongue as quick and scalding as a whip – enabled what she did for a living.

It wasn't the only reason she was worried by a long shot, but part of Rosalie wondered if she could still be successful if people knew that her partner was female. As it stood, she knew many men lusted after her. It wasn't the only reason she was nervous, but it was one of them.

"Your name has not come up once in conversation," Edward pointed out. "If she were going to break the story, she would have already."

"Come on, Edward," Rosalie bit out, a little exasperated by how Edward defended Bella so automatically. "It's not like she wouldn't be interested. I know for a fact that her boss treats her like shit – I've seen it. Not that it isn't exactly what she deserves. But you know they're not going to keep her as a production assistant if she breaks a story like this."

"You know what I don't understand?" Edward snapped back, irritated at his twin's distrust of Bella. "If you're so g'damned nervous about having the threat hang over your head, why don't you take away her fire? I mean, what is it that you're planning on doing – keeping Alice and the baby in the shadows forever?"

As he knew it was going to, that accusation struck a chord and Rosalie's glare faltered into a pained expression. "You know why I hid-"

"Yes, I know," Edward cut her off. "You were trying to protect her from what all the gossip rags will say, all the cruel questions, all of that. Well, you know what, Rose? Alice chose to be with you. She knew exactly what the whole package of you came with. She knows all of your past, she knows what you have to deal with in the press sometimes, she knows all of that and she chose it anyway. How do you expect to be a mother to a child you won't acknowledge?"

For a split second, Rosalie looked absolutely devastated by that remark, and Edward regretted it immediately. He knew that she was struggling with this situation. He knew how badly it was affecting her - the idea that her child wasn't hers in any way. Her insecurity was staggering. She was, in so many ways, just as scared and lost as Edward and Bella were.

But the vulnerability was quickly replaced by an ice cold glower. "How do you expect to be a father to a child you don't even want? Don't you dare judge me, Edward. Not you, and not about my baby."

"Hey!" a loud voice interrupted their bickering.

Both Edward and Rosalie looked over to find Emmett staring at them with his arms crossed and his daddy's-about-to-put-someone-in-timeout expression.

He also had a tiara on his head.

He looked between the two of them and plucked the tiara out of his hair, proffering it to Rose. "It's Pretty Princess time, and I know you're a lot prettier a princess than I am."

Rosalie's smile returned as she settled the crown primly on her head. She tossed one final glare over her shoulder, and took off toward the girls' room.

As soon as she was gone, Edward released the breath he hadn't known he was holding, slumping down on the couch with a hand over his eyes.

"That was pretty harsh, dude. She can't have the one person she trusts the most to have her back getting her down," Emmett said, sitting beside him.

Edward snickered. It wasn't because he thought Emmett was wrong. He knew Rosalie better than anyone on the planet, except for Alice perhaps. There was a reason Rosalie came to him with her worst fears, and he'd been there for her. What he was struggling with was that it was normally a two way street. Despite how badly they could bicker, they'd always been each other's best support. This time though, her problems had overshadowed his.

He didn't tell his brother any of this though. He just explained his reaction. "You're such a dad." He grimaced. "Like it's just natural. I think you got all of Dad's dad genes."

Emmett burst out laughing. "There's nothing that comes natural about being a father, Edward. And believe me, if I let myself think about it at all, I'd start second guessing pretty much everything I do."

Edward raised a questioning eyebrow at his brother.

"Look, I know you're struggling to wrap your mind around having a kid, and I don't know what you want me to say, little brother. Being a dad – it's a mind fuck and a half." Emmett's face, as he spoke, was surprisingly serious... contemplative. "It's more love and more fear and more frustration and more…I don't know, elation than you've ever felt in your life – sometimes all in the space of the same hour. And you never know what you're doing – not ever."

He looked at his brother carefully then, and Edward knew him well enough to understand that he was trying to find the right words. Emmett spoke without thinking frequently, but he wanted this to come out right. "You know I love my girls. I wouldn't trade them for anything. But I know a lot of parents who just don't seem like they get it. It's like they just had kids because someone told them that's what they were supposed to do. They have this … you feed it, you get it to be as quiet as possible outlook, and I think that's sad. But I also think not everyone is cut out to be a parent."

Edward was quiet for a moment, trying to dissect that statement. "Is that what you think about me?" he finally asked.

"You're great with the girls. Hell, you've always been good at anything you've set your mind to. But being a dad – I mean a dad, not just a sperm donor - is mostly about heart." He laughed then, though in an oddly wry way. "And, unfortunately, I don't think it's something you can really know for sure until you're in the thick of things. I'm really not the one who should answer that question."

"You know, Dad told me almost exactly the same thing."

Emmett grinned. "Well, fuck. I guess there are a lot of things worse than being like Dad."

~0~

Bella was still worried and lost in her thoughts about her upcoming conversation with Edward when she got to her father's house that evening. She wished she could tell Charlie about the baby, but she just didn't know how while the current situation was making things so complicated.

As it turned out, her plans on how and when to tell her father were a moot point.

"Hey, Bells," Charlie greeted as she came in the door. He was peering hard at something in his hands, his tongue sticking out just slightly as he struggled with whatever it was.

"What do you have there, Dad?" Bella asked as she plopped down in the chair beside him at the table.

"It's this damn cologne," he muttered. "I can't get the pump unstuck."

Just as those words came out of his mouth, a thick spray of heavy-scented cologne shot out. The smell overwhelmed Bella, making her head swim as she swooned. She fought the darkness and the nausea, but one of them was bound to win. She supposed she was lucky that she didn't throw up all over herself as she passed out.

When she woke up she was on the couch, and Charlie was hovering. Charlie didn't hover. She must have scared him half to death. She bit back her initial response that he shouldn't be lifting heavy objects, knowing that would not go over well, and simply accepted the water he handed her, sipping slowly.

"You have something to tell me, Bella?" Charlie asked, and she could tell it was an effort for him to keep his voice steady. She knew by the look on his face that he was jumping to all the wrong conclusions - and after the ordeal he'd been through, she couldn't blame him.

"It's nothing bad, Dad," she assured him. Her recent swoon and conflicting emotions about the other half of her pregnancy made her voice less than convincing. She'd always been a horrible liar, and the worry on Charlie's face got exponentially more pronounced. Bella sat up all the way, fighting a wave of dizziness as she did. "Really," she said more firmly. "I'm just..." This was surprisingly difficult to say. She almost felt like she was a teenager who had to tell her father she'd gotten knocked up accidentally. "I'm pregnant."

Charlie's face was completely frozen except for the sporadic blinking of his eyelids. Then his nose kind of twitched and his lips quirked - up, down, up down, as if he had no idea how to react. It made his mustache dance comically on his face, and Bella couldn't help but laugh.

"I didn't realize you were seeing anyone," he said carefully, letting a smile creep out even as new worries began to occur to him.

Bella's smile fell ever so slightly. She found she was far from ready to tell Charlie the whole truth. It would have to be careful half-truths then. "I'm not. I went through a clinic," she admitted.

She told her father most of the story, not correcting him when he assumed she'd gone with an anonymous donor. After that, Charlie was all broad grins. He kept on repeating, "I'm gonna be a grandpa," over and over as if he couldn't quite believe it. Bella respectfully ignored it when he got teary eyed over the sonogram picture she'd been carrying around in her wallet for him.

Toward the end of the visit, though, his face grew serious. "Bella...tell me truthfully," he said gravely. "You didn't do this because of me, right?"

Bella paused, remembering when he was so sick that it didn't look like he was ever going to get better. He had sighed, during a moment of weakness, that he only regretted that he'd never hold his grandchild in his arms.

It had left its mark. He knew it. Jasper had known it. Even Jacob had known it.

"You're the reason I thought about it," Bella answered truthfully. "But I thought about this for a long time before I went through with it. I want this," she assured.

Charlie looked at her as if trying to gauge how much truth she was telling. "It's just that you never really showed an interested in kids before."

"I know," Bella admitted.

"It's a lot to go through alone," he continued, his voice worried. "It's a lot to go through when there are two of you. Having no one to have your back when you have to tag out for a minute – that's really hard." She knew he was thinking about the summer weeks when it was just the two of them. She hadn't been oblivious to his struggles, and she knew she'd been a relatively easy child.

"I know," Bella said again, looking down at her feet and trying not to think of Edward. "The thing is, Dad, I don't really mind being alone. I never have. You know, I've always enjoyed my freedom. Relationships...they're a lot of complication and compromise - they're a lot of work, you know?

"But I started to think that I had a lot of love to give, and even if I didn't want to put all that time and energy into having a good relationship... I don't know, it feels different when I think about the baby. The effort and energy it will take seems worth it. I like the idea of not having to answer to anyone for anything, including how I raise my child," she summarized, again pushing thoughts of Edward to the far, far corner of her mind.

She looked up at her father, smiling. "I mean, I know it had to have its moments of loneliness, but you didn't turn out so bad for not having a significant other all the time. And for what it's worth, I think you're a great dad."

Charlie's lips quirked and he looked away, a little embarrassed. Neither of them were great with shows of affection, but he seemed pleased. "Well," he said, turning back to her, "I have faith in you, kid. You're going to make a great mom." He chuffed a little then, getting distinctly teary-eyed. "Wow."

"Yeah," Bella agreed, letting herself cling to her father as he pulled her into a rare hug. She was so relieved her father knew. His happiness and wonder added to her own, letting her feel the joy that was so often tapered with confusion these days. "Wow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oye vey. Sorry about the delay. My mojo fucked off. Threw a finger at me as she left and everything. The NERVE. But she came crawling back so here we are. Hopefully she won't get pissed off again.
> 
> Did I just refer to my mojo in the third person? I did, wanna fight about it? Hehe.
> 
> Thanks to josieswan for beta.
> 
> So…how did mom and dad take your news? Did they interfere? Offer TOO much advice?


	8. Yakity Yak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine. I donut own them.

There was an annoying amount of thought that went into planning this little get together. Bella had thought long and hard about when, where and how to to have this conversation.

On the one hand, Bella felt entirely vulnerable. She was extending an olive branch knowing that there was a good chance he would never believe her side of the story. She was finally giving him a sign of trust because she needed to hope that this situation would turn out alright.

On the other hand, having Edward Cullen in her home was a nerve wracking prospect. There was no telling how he would judge the little pieces of her that were scattered on the wall, lining the bookshelf, or making up the organized chaos of her desk. Was there something that made up part of her life that would cause Edward to think she'd be a bad parent?

But, she reasoned with herself, if Edward was going to make those types of arguments, there was nothing she could do to prevent that. She was exactly who she was, and Edward wasn't going to change either. Whatever arguments lay in their future over what was best for their child were unavoidable.

That aside, her home was the best place for this conversation. It gave her a sense of comfort. If the need arose, she had every right to order him out.

Bella put her head in her hands, growling at herself. She was definitely putting too much thought into the whole situation.

Her doorbell rang just then and there was no time left to fidget. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Bella got up to answer the door.

The sight that greeted her was slightly surreal. Edward was leaning against her door jamb, a soft smile spreading across his face as she opened the door. She was struck by how he looked against the background of the hills of Los Feliz - with the sky a clear blue and Griffith Observatory visible just over his shoulder. It was like a scene straight out of a movie.

And to top it all off he was proffering her what looked like bread.

She raised an eyebrow in question as she took the bread from him. It looked homemade.

"It's Amish Friendship Bread," he explained. "It's not really Amish. I think the name comes from the fact that it's like a very uh...primitive chain letter. You're supposed to bring the bread to share with a friend and leave the starter so they can make their own bread, and so on and so on. It takes days to make." He lifted his other hand from the door jamb, showing her a brown paper bag in which, she assumed, was the starter he was talking about.

He was trying to disarm her.

She was appropriately disarmed.

Turning back into the house so he couldn't see her smile, Bella held the door open wide. "Thank you. It smells delicious."

Edward stopped short almost as soon as he was in the door. He looked around and Bella could feel the tips of her ears burning. Her decor was made up almost primarily of movie posters with the odd photograph. " _It looks like a college dorm room in here_ ," her mother had giggled when she'd visited right after Bella had bought the house a year before. She'd chafed then and felt defensive now.

Though he didn't ask, she felt the need to explain. Renee hadn't understood, and maybe Edward wouldn't either, but she couldn't help but try. "Do you know what I like about movies?" Now it was his turn to raise a questioning eyebrow, and Bella flushed a deeper shade of red. Of course he didn't know. He had no way of knowing that she was a movie buff. "If it's done right, there isn't a thing about movies that isn't done on purpose. Everything - from the choice of costume to the choice of vocal inflection is telling part of the story. There are no, or should be no, superfluous lines. Everything you see and hear is the result of a specific choice meant to tell you more."

She cleared her throat, feeling self conscious at her sudden need to word vomit but persevered. "Movie posters aren't any different. There's an art to them just like every other part of a movie. You just might not realize it because it's all unconscious - marketing, you know - but it's there."

The term for Edward at that moment might have been aptly described as stuck on stupid. His brain became white noise. He felt the goofy smile on his face but he couldn't do anything about it. Instead, he managed to clear his throat. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked after a few awkward, but not entirely unpleasant, moments.

Bella debated internally and nodded her head in the direction of her kitchen table. It wasn't as comfortable as the living room, but the subject warranted a less casual atmosphere. After she'd gotten them both water bottles from the fridge and plates for the bread she sat down, breathing deeply before beginning. "I wanted to talk to you about Rosalie."

"What about Rosalie?" Edward asked, and she didn't miss how guarded his expression became.

She sipped her water slowly, still unsure how to best explain her purpose behind bringing this up at all. Edward had seemed content not to mention it. "I guess I just don't understand how you can trust me, knowing what you think I did to your sister. And why."

Edward blinked, a sense of déjà vu coming over him. This was almost exactly the conversation he'd had repeatedly with Rosalie. He'd come up with a multitude of things that Bella could have wanted to discuss, but this had not been one of them. "I think what you did to my sister is something most people would do. You work at an entertainment news show. She was fool enough to be with Royce King in the first place, let alone let him video her having sex. I'm not saying she deserved it but," he trailed off and sighed. "We all knew Royce was an asshole."

"So does that mean you think I'm equally an asshole for leaking the tape?" she pressed.

Again, Edward sighed and poked at his bread so he wouldn't have to look her in the eyes. "I'm not oblivious to the way the world works, Bella. Advancing in any level of business isn't always about talent - it's about luck and who you know. Believe me, I understand that Hollywood is that to the nth degree. I think, in that atmosphere, it's easy for even an otherwise decent person to ..."

"To what?" Bella challenged. There really wasn't a good way to finish that. "To dehumanize a person to that degree?"

He looked up at her, his green eyes hard and his lips pressed into a thin line. "Then why did you do it?"

Her eyes were steady when they locked with his across the table. "I didn't."

Edward's eyes narrowed but he didn't speak, knowing she must have more to say. Bella took a deep breath, forcing back her defensiveness. After all, he had every right to believe what he believed. "I was working late that day - but a lot of people were. I have no idea why he came to me. All I know is that one minute I was in the editing bay alone, the next minute an internationally known movie star was leaning in the doorway."

Bella frowned. Years later, she was still displeased with how she had reacted. His presence had made her instantly tongue tied and nervous. People at her level didn't typically interact with the stars that they sometimes passed in the hallway, and Royce was in a rare class of his own. He was devastatingly handsome, charming - when he was sober - and powerful.

He had put on a huge smile, leaning in and assaulting her nose with a horrid smelling cologne. He was, he said, in a bit of a hurry and Rose was caught up in some meeting. Did she know Rose? Of course she did - who didn't? Was she aware of the dissolution of their couplehood? Who wasn't? Their fights had been very public and had appeared, in gory, high color detail, in all the tabloids. Besides, even though she couldn't have cared less, Bella worked at an entertainment news show. Of course she knew that they'd split.

Well, Royce had continued, he needed to give her this tape he had. He'd leaned in even closer then and wrapped one arm around Bella's shoulders. Bella had tried to cringe away, but he'd held onto her. The tape, he confided was very personal in nature. He would miss it, but Rose was demanding it back. He'd leered, making it obvious exactly what was on the tape.

He'd asked if he could trust Bella to deliver the tape and not tell a soul.

Before Bella could find her tongue and tell him that she had no interest or business in this highly personal matter, he'd grinned widely. Speaking over her sputtered response, he'd rained down profuse thanks as he backed out the door, leaving the tape next to her. Then he was gone.

If she hadn't been on deadline, she would have taken the tape straight to Rosalie. But, as it was, she couldn't leave the editing bay. Half an hour later, Aro Scarpinato - the head of the network - appeared behind her. He'd seen the video with Royce's name conveniently printed on it and popped it into the player over Bella's protests. She still remembered how his eyes had gleamed when the scene played out in front of him. " _How very interesting._ "

"That's...awfully coincidental," Edward said skeptically.

"What? That the head of the network would show up in a lowly production assistant's editing bay on the same night that an international movie star did?" Bella asked, and then she laughed because it sounded ridiculous. Like the plot of some stupid soap opera. "You were right, what you said earlier about Hollywood being about who you know. But it's also about allegiances.

"What I think happened was that Royce went to Aro first. But Aro is the head of the network and Rose is one of the network's top attractions. Sorry," she said ruefully.

Edward waved a hand. "So you're saying they set you up so Aro's hands would be clean and he could keep whatever relationship with my sister?" Bella nodded. "That's..."

"It's not a baseless assumption. A couple of weeks after everything went down, Royce came to see me again," Bella said, frowning as she remembered. "He was waiting for me by my car. He actually had the nerve to put his arm around me again, and he started trying to kiss me. He said I owed him because he handpicked me to help my career because, 'I was as pretty as a Georgia peach,'" Bella shuddered, as grossed out as she had been then.

" _What_?" Despite that he was still skeptical about Bella's story, Edward was surprised at the shot of pure rage that went through him. He hated Royce King with a passion. The idea that his particular brand of slime had touched Bella made him furious.

Bella was equally surprised by his reaction, but covered well. "Don't worry. You remember, right around the time the tape broke, Royce had a hand injury?"

"Yeah. He had his fingers taped up," Edward recalled. "I always assumed Rose kicked his ass."

"Nope. That was me," Bella confessed.

For the second time, Edward's mouth dropped open. "Really?"

"He wouldn't get his hands off me. I warned him," she smirked.

No matter what he thought about the rest of her story, Edward couldn't be surprised that Bella was capable of breaking Royce's hand. They were quiet as Edward thought her story over. Bella fought the urge to squirm in her seat, vacillating between anxiety that he would call her a liar and anger at herself for being so g'damn anxious.

She had to admit to herself that Edward's opinion meant something to her, even if she didn't want it to.

The silence had gotten so deep and long that Bella actually jumped when Edward burst out laughing. "The truth, in this town, is stranger than fiction, isn't it?"

"You believe me?" she asked, wishing she didn't sound so mystified.

Edward smiled. "Well, yeah. I just don't understand why you didn't tell Rosalie this."

How did one tell someone that their sister was an overbearing, diva shrew? Bella decided that it was not the topic to broach when there seemed to be an odd sense of peace and camaraderie between them. She took the advice of Thumper and millions of parents since the beginning of time and said nothing, choosing a smile and a shrug instead.

"I know you don't like Rosalie," Edward said, breaking her silence.

"Why would you say that?" Bella's voice wasn't outraged enough for it to be a denial. Lying wasn't among her many talents, and she knew it. That was why she never had an interest in ending up on the business end of the camera.

"Mmm," Edward sounded more amused than annoyed at her admission by proxy. "Jasper let it slip one day. Well, I mean he said that 'she wasn't as bad as we'd made her out to be'. I assumed you were the other half of that we."

Again, Bella said nothing. Besides give her audience free stuff, she'd never seen Rosalie Hale do a single kind thing and had only spoken to the woman when she was yelling.

"It's okay, you know. I understand what she looks like to someone who doesn't know her. Believe me, even I have my moments with her." He rolled his eyes. Lately, his interactions with his sister had been nothing but a series of those moments. Rosalie felt betrayed that her twin seemed to like the woman that she viewed as an enemy.

"I don't know her enough to dislike her," Bella said simply.

Leaning back in his seat, Edward mused as to what he was about to tell Bella. On the one hand, he knew Rosalie would have a fit if she knew. On the other hand, one of his long running frustrations in life was how the rest of the world viewed his sister. Oh, he knew that a lot of it was not only her fault but also her own doing. The persona she had unwittingly crafted during a number of dark years that she'd been going down a dangerous path was the persona that had a popular day-time talk show. It was that persona that many men lusted after.

But, along with being that diva, Rosalie was also many good things. She was steadfast and loyal to her family. Edward knew a lot of her problem with Bella was that she was dead certain she was going to end up hurting him.

"My mom does huge restoration projects, did you know that?" he began finally.

"No."

"Yeah. She has an eye for both design and historical architecture. She is actually very sought after by a lot of cities, even now. They want her to head up restoration of their historic buildings and the like," he explained, smiling fondly because he was proud of his mother. He was proud of both of his parents. "Of course my father has just about every university vying for his attention. He could make a fortune on lecture tours if he wanted."

Bella waited, wondering where he was going with this. She was enjoying the way he spoke about his parents. She tilted her head, her eyebrows furrowing unconsciously when his lips tugged down as he continued. "Between my mom and my dad – we moved a lot. Emmett was born in Tennessee for instance, and Rose and I were born in Chicago. We actually lived the longest in Mississippi – the longest being about 5 years.

"Rose and I were ten when we moved there. And that's where she met Alice. We moved to New York when we were 15. Breaking up that friendship was the worst I'd ever seen Rosalie. She was downright depressed and screamed at Mom and Dad for...probably the better part of a year," Edward continued, frowning.

Bella could sympathize with that notion. She'd moved to Forks when she was 17 and, while it hadn't been easy, it had been her choice. Being ripped away from friends at a high school age - well, she could understand why Rosalie had been upset.

"When Rosalie showed interest in modeling, Mom and Dad gave in rather quickly. It had been a long time since she'd been interested in anything. They didn't want her to be in that world - she was so young - but they wanted her to be happy again.

"They were supportive of her. They tried to protect her. We even moved out here to follow  _her_ career." He trailed off and then looked back to Bella, his eyes heavy with sadness.

She knew that expression. He'd watched someone he loved go through a bad period and had been completely unable to do anything about it, but it was over now. It was the same expression she saw on herself when she thought about everything that had happened with Charlie. "She found her way back though." There hadn't been any horrible tabloid stories about Rosalie for years. All the pictures of her high as a kite or on impressive drinking binges were a thing of the distant past.

Edward nodded. "With no small amount of help from Alice, she found her way back, but that's not my story to tell."

"Thank you," Bella said quietly.

"For what?"

"Trusting me with that story. It's getting harder and harder to trust anyone in the world we live in, in general. In this city, it's nearly impossible. I didn't want to be one of those people who could capitalize personally on another's worst day. I mean - we've all done things we regret."

He tilted his head again, that curious look passing over his face - like he was trying to figure her out or read her mind. She was surprised that she wasn't uncomfortable. "Why do you work on a show that make other people's lives their business?" he asked, his voice not accusatory at all.

"It's not always easy," Bella admitted. "But you know, the show is mostly about positive things - promoting causes, movies..." she trailed off. "I don't know. Every job has its bad day."

The mood that had fallen between them was warm - like they'd been friends forever. Edward stood then, gathering their plates and going to the sink. They had a brief, good-natured fight over who was supposed to do the dishes - especially when he saw the small pile she'd let accumulate. Finally, they compromised. Edward washed and she could dry and put away.

"Do you ever use your job to pick up girls?" Bella asked, interrupting another easy silence between them.

Edward cocked an eyebrow, looking at her sideways as he washed. "How would I do that? My job isn't that glamorous."

"You know." When he continued to watch her questioningly she rolled her eyes. "Come on. Tell me you've never pulled some strings to get into a five star restaurant or gotten a chef who owed you a favor to make some elaborate, fantastic dinner."

He chuckled then, rinsing a plate under the warm water. "That's a little cliché, isn't it?"

"I hear girls are suckers for things like that," Bella quipped back.

"Well, I haven't ever done anything like that." He paused, considering, but in the end decided to try the total honesty card. "I have pulled a move inspired by  _My Best Friend's Wedding_ , though."

Bella's eyebrows crinkled in confusion, and Edward was surprised by the sudden impulse he felt to touch the delicate V where they came together. "You mean the Julia Roberts movie?"

"Mmm," he assented. Impulsively, he reached over and took her hand before she could pick up another dish. Struck by the way he looked at her from underneath long eyelashes, Bella didn't pull her hand away. He turned toward her, holding his hand palm up to let hers rest palm down. He looked her right in the eye and her breath caught. "It's hard to explain the way I feel about you. I've never been good with words. I'm better with food."

Bella's laugh was breathier than she wanted it to be as she realized where he was going with this. "Oh, this is the part where you call them jell-o, right?" she stumbled.

He dipped slightly, his grin turning up and making her heart beat out an erratic rhythm. His eyes swept over her, noting her unconscious beauty. Standing this close to a woman, he could usually see a coat of make-up and smell too-heavy perfume. Standing this close to Bella he saw a sprinkle of light freckles over flawless skin. She was dressed plainly, her hair up in a sleek ponytail like he'd seen it the time he stopped by her work, yet she was somehow more alluring than any of his dates ever had been - dressed in short skirts and revealing tops. His eyes came back up hers, noting that they were dilated - dark around the edges and warm caramel in the center. "You are most definitely not jell-o," he murmured, wondering if she tasted as sweet as she looked.

As if she could read his thoughts, Bella turned away. Her hand slipped off of his and she grabbed for the nearest dish, putting it away in a high cupboard and trying not to notice her hands were shaking. This wasn't how this day was supposed to go. She'd been prepared for his judgment. She'd been prepared for his anger and accusation. She'd hoped for his understanding and maybe for them to come to trust each other, just a little bit - just enough that she would stop imagining a lifetime of arguments.

She wasn't prepared for the spiraling emotions in her. Her second trimester had brought with it a whole new brand of hormones. She almost felt like a teenager again - constantly aware of her sexuality. All of her intimate parts were devastatingly sensitive. Her thoughts often meandered to quick visions - naked, slick skin, the heady scent of a man in heat, the taste of salty skin and the feel of being filled.

This, though, was different. The ache was familiar - a need to be touched. What was different was the want that was tinged around the edges with need. This need she could name. Even as she closed her eyes tightly it screamed inside her. Edward. Edward. Edward. She'd been fighting his presence practically since the moment she'd laid eyes on him. It was as if the dam she'd put up between them had given away, and now he flooded her senses.

Churning water was violent and chaotic. Confusing.

Bella fought to restore order to her suddenly muddled thoughts, but before she could find any sort of coherency in them, he was just there. She'd never truly understood the meaning of the term bubble-space before that moment. When he stepped up behind her, she could perceptively feel the air change in a three foot circumference around her. Her kitchen was light and open, yet she felt as if she was in a very tiny closet space with him. Maybe it was the heightened sense of smell that pregnancy brought, but she could swear his essence wafted around her - permeating the room with delicious fragrance.

Tension made her body coil painfully tightly. She wasn't sure if she wanted to bolt or turn and bring him up against her. Neither option made sense, but she couldn't think past them either. Confused and titillated - that's what she felt. Scared and thrilled. She'd skydived once and remembered the feeling of complete and utter terror mixing with exhilaration as she looked at the world, so far below, and tensed for the jump - not at all certain this was a good thing to do.

His shuddering breath matched hers, like their thoughts were in sync.

Then his right hand brushed lightly against her hip.

Her body hummed, reverberated internally, but she was frozen. She remembered - from some long ago science class - a heat pack. There was a silver disk in the middle of this primordial looking ooze. When you bent the disk, it would set off a reaction in the ooze that made atoms bounce off one another. The previously cool pack would grow hot in your hands, the inside ooze turning a vibrant shade of purple in seconds.

That was what she felt: superheated skin, turbulent insides.

He stepped closer so that his shirt brushed hers, and he waited. Her shoulders rose and fell with the quick, staccato breaths she was taking, but her head tilted - an offering. Almost as though they were synchronized, his head dipped, accepting her invitation. He ran his nose along the line of her neck and shoulders, breathing her in. His hands, both hands now, snaked around from the sides of her hips to her front.

Bella's back went rigid and her breath wheezed in her throat.

The way his hands were pressed against her, outside her shirt, he could undoubtedly feel the hardness of her slightly distended belly. It was easy to miss with just eyes, concealed as it was with clothes that hung the right way, but he could undoubtedly feel the difference.

For a long moment, neither of them moved, waiting for the other's reaction. Then Edward's hands shifted. He kept his thumbs and the heel of his palms against the swell while his long fingers angled downward. They brushed against the hem of her shirt and again he waited, giving her the chance to stop this, she supposed.

But she didn't. She couldn't.

His fingers flexed inward, bringing fabric up with them. He flattened out his hand, the pads of his fingers, and then his palm, shaping themselves to the contours of her belly. Side by side, his large hands completely cupped the bump.

Again, the atmosphere that surrounded them changed. There was something primal about the pull in them now, something ancient. Like they were both marked territory. Her hands, light and soft, came up to rest on his - her arms lining up with his arms. The emotion that flowed inside their skin had no words. She carried him inside her. She was already his. Beneath their hands was a connection that made Edward _need_ to protect her, possess her. It was a hunger that only she could fill - a right as ancient as the world was old.

Who knew which one of them moved first. Bella turned her head to the side even as he lifted his lips from her shoulder to her mouth. Their lips were gentle but insistent with no sign of hesitation. Then, as the thoughts they'd both pushed to the back of their minds threatened to overwhelm their need for each other, their mouths moved faster, harder. It was as if they were trying to outrun their thoughts, keeping themselves in the sweet, heated moment where they weren't thinking, only feeling.

The way his fingers reverently stroked her belly as they kissed made her feel beautiful. Just days previous she'd lain nude in her bed, running her fingers over her new curves. Her breasts were fuller, much more defined as her hands cupped them. Her skin was supple until she reached the new bulge above her abdomen. There her skin was taught - hard and smooth. Alone in her bed she had wondered over the changes in her body. Feeling Edward's fingers, she shared that awe and almost painful beauty with him. She felt connected. In sync.

She reached one hand back, sliding it along his stubble covered chin, running a thumb over his ear as she threaded the rest of her fingers into his hair. Bella combed her fingers through his hair and he hummed his contentment against her lips, his tongue beginning to lap gently against hers.

It was inevitable that their thoughts, huffy at being ignored, intruded with a vengeance. Neither of them protested as their kiss broke. Edward leaned his cheek against the side of her hair, closing his eyes tightly to rein in his spiraling emotions. Bella stroked the hair at the back of his neck, soothing them both the way one pet a cat. Her heart was beating too fast and confusion clouded her mind.

They couldn't know it but they were both thinking the same question with no clear answer:  _What are we doing?_

He sighed, his breath hot against her shoulder. His lips still touched the skin of her neck, as if he couldn't quite stand to be away from her yet. "I should go," he said, not moving.

"Mmm," Bella murmured in vague agreement. She didn't let go of him.

Edward sighed again and kissed her neck, letting his eyes flutter open. Outside her kitchen window he could see the skyline of Los Angeles. It seemed odd - like he was expecting to be in some alternate dimension where thoughts came in half-formed, nonsensical sentences. He knew he needed to be away from her, away from whatever spell had come over them, so he could think clearly again. This was important, he sensed.

It took all of his willpower to step away from her. They made their way to the door in an almost eerie silence. He turned to say goodbye and ended up pulling her against him for another kiss instead. His hands fit her hips exactly, and her hands seemed to have been molded where they were on his upper back.

They parted again, both staring at each other with wide eyes. They didn't know what to say. There was comfort, though, in that the confusion and want and fear they felt, they saw reflected in each others eyes. Edward laughed nervously and kissed her forehead. "I'll see you soon," he promised, and left quickly.

Turning back into the house, Bella sat down heavily on the couch, her hands going to her suddenly clammy face. Then she had to laugh at the surreality of it all.

She'd just had a completely unplanned make-out session with the other half of the pregnancy she'd completely planned. She closed her eyes, losing herself briefly in the sensation of her memories - his lips on hers, his hair soft between her fingers, his body pressed against her back and his hands finding and feeling her baby through her skin.

She'd never felt this way. So many times she'd gone out on dates, hoping and wishing for a good-night kiss, the anticipation of touching adding a sort of buzz to the evening. When she'd invited Edward here, she'd never even thought about kissing him, but now that she had her body was alive - absolutely aware.

And damn if she didn't want to kiss him again.

Worry tugged at her insistently, pushing away the giddy, wanting feeling and demanding attention. They shouldn't have done that…right?

Bella's eyes flitted around the room, landing randomly on a poster of  _Gone With The Wind_.

"I won't think about that now," she quoted, laying down across the couch and running her fingers over her stomach the way he had. "I'll think about it tomorrow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So…that happened. Anyway. I apologize again for the delay in updating and the fact that I haven't responded to my reviews. Real life is SERIOUSLY trying to sap my mojo completely. I'm resisting! Anyway. Your reviews spark my mojo and make me smile. So thank you. Really. I flove you all.
> 
> Don't you think that pregnant bodies are gorgeous?


	9. Talking is Overrated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Dear SM. I flove you and have gotten several people addicted to your wonderful books. Please don't sue me as I'm pretty sure you make more money off me a year than you would get in any settlement.

"Bella, you are never going to believe the hats I found," Jasper's voice snapped Bella out from the reverie she'd been in.

A couple of days previous Jasper had caught her undoing the button of her jeans as she went over some paperwork at her desk. He'd finally been able to convince her that it was high time she shopped for maternity clothes.

She had to admit that Jasper knew what he was doing when it came to clothes. Bella had been dreading this part of her pregnancy, picturing obnoxiously girly clothing that she would never choose to wear normally. Her fears were proved unfounded when the first shop he steered her into had very smart looking clothes.

Shopping with Jasper meant letting him take control, for the most part. Bella was fine with that. She wasn't bad at putting together her own wardrobe - he was just undeniably better. How many times had he handed her an outfit that she would have sworn would look ugly as hell, only to try it on at his insistence and love the way she looked in it?

She'd been skeptical when he'd put selected several fitted tops, but once she was in the dressing room, as usual, she could see what he'd done. Though her baby bump was still slight, in the outfits he'd chosen it was very definitely defined. While as before she might have looked like maybe she'd eaten a few too many burritos, now she looked undeniably pregnant.

"Bella," Jasper's voice startled her again. She was too busy staring in the mirror to answer, and he rapped on the dressing room door. "Sugar, are you alright?"

"Fine," Bella replied, opening the door so he could step in.

Jasper looked her up and down, a huge, gentle smile lighting his face. "Look at you. Stunning doesn't even begin to cover it."

Blushing, Bella turned to the side, taking in the way the cloth clung to the curves of her body, accentuating her belly and breasts. "What were you saying?"

"Hats. I found some amazing hats. We're definitely getting them," Jasper responded, holding up his hat covered hands.

Bella looked him in the eye in the mirror. "If you buy any more hats you're going to need a bigger house just to store them in."

He rolled his eyes, giving her an exasperated look. "They're not for me. Well...okay, there's this matching fedora set that just can't be passed up," he admitted, gesturing at the fedora on his head and an identical, though infinitely tinier one, on his hand.

But the hat on his other hand was what caught Bella's attention. "There is a huge skull on this very little hat," she said, a little horrified. It wasn't exactly macabre, but it just didn't sit well.

"It's a baby hat," Jasper said, pointing out the obvious. To him it was beyond adorable. Rocker-punk baby, even.

"It's a skull!" Bella protested, not seeing the cute factor at all.

Another eyeroll and Jasper tossed the offending hat on the bench. "That one is for Alice's baby anyway. This is for your little darling." He tossed the mini fedora on the bench revealing the hat he'd hidden under it.

It was very pink. More exactly, it was an infant sized, knit, pink, cowboy hat with a rhinestones in the shape of a crown stitched onto the front. Bella blinked at it, her lips turning up, down, up, down, up. "I don't know whether to be horrified because you know how much I hate pink or admit that my heart is melting," she said finally, grinning at her friend. "But what if she's not a girl?"

"Alice says you're having a girl," Jasper replied, as if this should be obvious.

"Oh, well if Alice says so," Bella mumbled, still a little awkward about all the new people in her life.

Not to mention, every time Jasper mentioned Alice, Bella inevitably thought of Edward.

Ever since their first kiss, almost a week ago in Bella's house, they'd tried to find time to talk. Edward had a deadline and Victoria had Bella running around non-stop as usual. Still, knowing it was important that they figure out what exactly they thought they were doing jumping from being barely able to stand each other to making out in Bella's kitchen, Edward had dropped by her work for lunch the day before.

He'd brought Canter's pastrami sandwiches and Florentine cookies to lure her away from the studio, around the corner to a park. There..well... things hadn't gone as planned.

They'd found a picnic table and Bella thought nothing of the fact that Edward sat beside her instead of across from her. His warm body seemed to omit a pleasant hum, stopping any protests Bella might have had. She was amazed by how utterly aware she was of him. The impulse to lean against him, as if they were lovers instead of ... whatever they were, was almost too hard to resist.

Then he'd set the cookies out in between them, and Bella couldn't resist. Their sweet scent  
hit her especially strong, and her mouth watered. She'd grabbed for one like a humming bird flitted its beak into and out of a flower.

_"You'll spoil your dinner," Edward said, his stern voice negated by the bemused curve of his lips._

_She arced an eyebrow at him, slowly putting the cookie in her mouth with a bratty twinkle in her eyes. But then the cookie had hit her tongue and her eyelids had fluttered. "Mmm," she all but moaned. They were heaven in a vaguely circular shape - crispy, soft, and perfectly sweet._

_When she opened her eyes she was immediately struck by the look on his face. His eyes, normally a light shade of green close to the color reflected in dew drops that gathered on leaves, had gone dark at the center, his pupils dilated. His mouth hung slightly open in a distinctly hungry pout that she sincerely doubted had anything to do with the delicious food he'd brought._

_Just like the first time, the atmosphere around them grew heavy and heated. They didn't try to resist. Her head tilted, meeting his lips as he leaned down. Her hands had again gone straight for his hair, running through it and reveling at the way he hummed his approval into her mouth. His hands ran from the small of her back up to her shoulder blades slowly, as if he were memorizing her shape through the pads of his fingers alone._

When Edward was kissing her, Bella found it extraordinarily difficult to form a coherent thought. In the brief moments their lips were free, she would try to convince herself to move away from him - unwrap her hands from behind his neck. But his scent would lead her to bury her nose against his neck, breathing him in as he peppered light kisses against her hairline. Then his hands would traipse up her back and come to rest under chin, guiding her face back up so he could kiss her again.

It was worse than being a teenager. When her senses and sensations were new everything was so much more intense. That, at least, she understood. Whatever was going on between her and Edward she couldn't make sense of at all. But oh lord - she couldn't seem to stop.

The day before - at the park - they'd made out for ages until they'd both had to literally run back to work. They hadn't talked at all.

"Hells Bells," Jasper said, snapping his fingers in front of her face.

Bella started and looked at him. "I'm sorry. What?"

He studied her for a moment, pursing his lips. "You're a million miles away. Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine. I'm just having trouble concentrating - that's all," Bella assured him hurriedly.

Jasper chuckled. "I'll say." He shrugged. "Alice was telling me that's one of the more annoying side effects of pregnancy - it messes with your memory and the like."

Seeing a good way to take the conversation as far away from her distraction as possible, Bella jumped at the chance. "I've been such a bad friend lately, I'm sorry," she said as he sorted through the clothes she'd already tried on. "I just realized I don't know much about how everything with you and Alice has gone. I've been wallowing in my own problems."

Jasper glanced at her askance as he rehung the clothes she'd decided firmly against. "Your situation isn't the same as mine by a long shot," he said quietly. "You have so much to deal with, so many changes. The only thing that's changed for me is I get to shop for two little ones instead of one. Not only that but, I don't know if you've noticed, I adore Alice. She's like… a piece of my life I didn't even realize was missing."

Amused, Bella turned away from him so she could take the shirt she was wearing off and put her original back on. "Things are going that well, huh?"

"I don't even know how to describe it, Bella. I feel like I've known her all my life. We along so well," he said, and even not looking at him Bella could hear the smile in his voice.

"Jeez, Jasper. You're not going to leave Peter for her are you?" she half-joked.

He chuckled. "You of all people should know what it's like to fall in love with someone who you aren't physically attracted to. It's not the same thing."

Bella turned back toward him and smiled. It was true. She loved Jasper and Jacob with a strength that sometimes winded her. She was proud of their achievements, constantly amazed by their separate ingenuity, and happy in their presence. It was a truer love than she'd ever experienced with a romantic partner – but without any of the heat. You could be completely in love with your friends. It wasn't the same thing as being in love with a significant other – she understood that.

They had discussed this concept more than once. The idea that no one person could ever be all you needed was one they both subscribed to. It was better to fill your life with a multitude of amazing people, taking a little of what you needed from each. That way, you never chipped away at one person until you couldn't remember what it is you wanted them for.

Sitting down beside Jasper on the dressing room bench, Bella laid her head on his shoulder. "Tell me about her."

"Well, I'll tell you this much. You don't have to worry about me bugging you to come out shopping with me. You know – aside from when you need a wardrobe change," he patted her bump tenderly as he wrapped his arm around her.

Bella laughed, feeling her worry and tension drain away as they talked. "Oh no. Peter might have competition after all," she mumbled. How many times had Jasper bitched that neither his best friend nor his lover took enjoyment in buying anything?

"No, really Bella. It's so perfect. You know, women have so many choices it's downright unfair. If I wasn't so happy with being a man, I'd be pissed off that I wasn't a woman. With Alice, I get the best of both worlds. She's awfully receptive." He bumped Bella's side softly. "And unlike some people, she doesn't get annoyed when I spot something  _I_ want to see."

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about Alice and Rosalie.

Rosalie, Jasper said, was having the biggest problem of the three of them. She was struggling. It had only been at Alice's insistence that she was at all open to getting to know Jasper.

"It's hard for her," Jasper said as they walked along the sidewalk toward their lunch destination. "When Edward was going to provide the DNA they needed, the baby still felt like he was completely theirs, you know? Edward's DNA is her DNA. Even though I have no interest in being the kid's dad, she still feels a little threatened, you know?"

"I imagine it doesn't help that you and Alice are getting so close," Bella mused.

Jasper grimaced. "No, she gets a little insecure some days. Not that Alice would ever leave her – just that I'm an important person in her life now. An intruder."

"And the baby is – biologically at least – yours." Bella chuffed lightly. "I understand where she's coming from."

"You have every reason to. Alice and I think it's a little sad. I think you and Rosalie could help each other a lot."

Idly, Bella wondered if Edward had told his twin anything about the newest twist in their extraordinarily complicated relationship. Somehow she doubted Rosalie would be pleased. There was no way they were going to end up friends in all of this mess.

"Edward told her," Jasper said quietly. Bella's head snapped up to stare at him in vague horror. "About the tape," Jasper clarified, his eyes going a little wide at the look on her face.

"Oh," Bella said, trying to reorient herself. "How did that go?"

"She doesn't believe you," he answered ruefully. "But she will, Bella."

They walked in silence for a few moments before Jasper asked, as lightly as possible, "What did you think I meant when I said Edward told her?"

The tips of Bella's ears began to burn. "Nothing," she insisted.

Thankfully, Jasper dropped it, knowing she didn't want to talk.

~0~

Because Jasper was in contact with Edward's family, Bella didn't know how to talk to him about Edward.

There was this vague sense she got, when she thought about kissing him, that felt like she was doing something elicit – wrong. Bella couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. They were both single and willing. Kissing him felt good – beyond good, it felt amazing. It made her blood heat in her veins and made her heart pound. Remembering the way his hands moved on her made her want more.

Uninvited, her mind would provide little fantasies. She could picture perfectly the way he would look above her. That grin of his…and his eyes piercing and heady as he gazed down at her. She could picture his body, even though she hadn't seen it. She'd felt the definition under his shirt as her hands had pressed against his chest when they were kissing in the park. In her minds eye his musculature cut his body just right without all the bulges of muscles that she'd never found attractive. She could perfectly imagine his stubbled cheek – the same cheeks that she'd stroked with the palms of her hands only days ago – brushing along the sensitive peaks of her breasts or the inside of her thigh.

 _Fucking pregnancy hormones_ , Bella thought more than once. She was hornier than she'd ever been in her life.

"Earth to Bella," Jacob said, waving a hand in front of her eyes.

Bella blinked at her other best friend. Aggravated that she'd spaced out again, she slunk deeper into the make-up chair she'd been occupying. "Sorry," she murmured, smiling sheepishly at Jake.

He grinned at her – full of teeth as always. "No problem. Sorry you had to wait. What's up?"

Not for the first time, Bella wondered if this was a good idea. What she needed was an unbiased opinion - someone to talk things out with because her brain was so muddled on the Edward subject that she couldn't even see straight. Jacob was hardly an unbiased party. Despite having never met the other man, Jacob was quick to proclaim his dislike of Edward.

Still, she had Jasper and she had Jacob that she could trust with this information. Since Jasper was out of the question, Jake was all that was left. She sighed, and told him that about that afternoon at her apartment...and the park...

Jacob's advice was simple...and made Bella choke on her drink. "I say you go for the sex."

After she was done sputtering and coughing, Bella managed a very smart reply. "What?"

"Believe me, when Rachel was pregnant last years, she wouldn't shut up about how horny she was. Paul was wearing a shit eating grin for five months straight," Jake shuddered, recalling his sister and brother-in-law's frank discussion. Off her flabbergasted expression he continued. "Bells, you've already fucked the guy by proxy, you might as well get the real experience," Jacob said, looking remarkably and disturbingly serious about his suggestion. "Besides, what's the worst that can happen? You're already knocked up."

"You don't even like Edward."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Who said anything about like? You don't have to like someone to have sex. Honestly, you could probably use a lay, kid. Besides, sex with someone you hate is its own type of intense." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Bella frowned at him. "Yeah, Lizzie is so lucky to have you," she said dryly.

"Speaking of which," Jacob began, tilting his head at her with feigned irritation, "You've infected Lizzie with the baby fever. All I get is reminders that all of our friends are married with babies. Rachel and Rebecca both have babies."

"She's talking about a baby now?" Bella asked.

"No," Jacob said, drawing out the o. "That's not what she says. She started hinting around about marriage, but you know that the drooling little poop machine is what she wants."

"You're so intuitive about women," Bella said, rolling her eyes. "Just stall. I'll let her be there when I give birth. That'll dissuade her." She shuddered.

Jacob clucked in sympathy. "Not looking forward to that, huh?"

"What do you think?" Bella gave him a look. "Of course I'm looking forward to the result. All this waiting to see the baby is killing me. But I've never been big on pain. I'm pretty sure babies only look tiny when they're not coming out of a vagina. And don't even get me started on the horror stories." She stared up at the ceiling, running her hands over her belly contemplatively. "Honestly, there's a lot of great things about being pregnant, but there's even more that's a pain in the ass. And I mean that literally."

Jacob winced. "Thanks for that TMI moment."

"Oh, hey. No problem," Bella responded with an innocent smile. "Anyway. Are you ready to go? This is what I love about summer blockbuster season - the movies all suck but at least you don't have to think for a couple of hours. Let's go. Action. Violence. That's my thing."

"Sure, sure," Jacob replied. "Do you mind if Leah goes with us?"

Bella tilted her head at Jacob, raising a curious eyebrow. "You and Leah are friends now?"

"He wanted my experience in case things with your baby's father got really bad," Leah explained, making them both jump as she breezed into the make-up room.

"Jeez, Leah..." Jacob muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at Bella apologetically.

Leah snorted. "He's also not used to the fact that I'm as blunt as a prison razor."

As it turned out, the summer blockbuster was so mindless that even the gunfire and punching of faces didn't capture Bella's attention. She tried to distract herself from the Edward-centric fantasies that threatened to get her all hot and bothered by thinking of the story Leah had told her the first time they'd met.

It had been hard to let go of that particular horror story, especially after everything with Edward happened. How many times, when she was frustrated that Edward wouldn't just disappear, had she told herself  _at least I'm not in Leah's shoes_.

Since Leah had so blatantly pointed out that Jacob struck up a friendship with her based on the fact she'd lost her baby to his birth parents, Bella figured that she wouldn't mind a question. "Please tell me to fuck off if the question is too personal, but why didn't you go for partial custody of the baby?" Bella asked after they left the theater.

An agonized look flitted across Leah's pretty face. When she spoke, her voice sounded more tired than Bella had ever heard it. "What for? I'd get him for a few days here and there... and I'd be what? Momma 2.0... Aunt Leah? And eventually I'd have to explain to him how his daddy and I planned for him and planned to love him together...so I let his daddy knock up his mommy... and then daddy and mommy fell in love," she trailed off. "Just...no."

"I'm sorry," Bella murmured, her heart twisting. "I shouldn't have asked."

Leah took a deep breath. "No. It's fine. Honestly, most people don't ask, so I never get to talk it out. It's good for me. Or so my shrink keeps telling me," she rolled her eyes. Then she looked at Bella, a completely serious expression on her face. "Just, whatever you do...make sure you're doing what's right for the baby...even if it's not the right thing for you. That's what he deserves."

~0~

Edward had not been able to talk Alice out of going with him to see Bella.

There were many reasons why this was an unfortunate fact. The first, and most obvious reason he would have preferred to be alone was because he and Bella needed to talk about what was happening to them.

That lead directly to the biggest reason that Edward wished he was alone.

Bella had invaded almost every thought he had. Just the night before he'd been at the opening of a new restaurant. He was sitting across from his editor, Mike Newton, watching the other man's surprisingly dainty movements as he speared bits of the antipasto plate with his cocktail fork. All he could think about was Bella's lips wrapping around the olives and her eyes fluttering closed the way they had that day at the park. And that moan...

She'd had him completely riled up in the space of a single bite. It had been utterly impossible not to kiss her in that moment. He was only lucky that she was apparently on the same wave length because nothing could have stopped him from licking the remnants of honey and chocolate off her lips the way he had.

The need he felt to kiss her or have her in his arms made him dizzy with want. Even then, driving toward her work with Alice chattering beside him, all he could think about was the way her skin felt underneath his fingers.

Touching the silk over solid swell of her baby bump had made him feel almost caveman - all biology and nature with very little thought involved. Kissing her hadn't been enough in that moment. He wanted to pick her up and claim her completely, driving any thought of anyone else out of her mind forever. She was his to have and his to protect.

The emotion had scared the hell out of him as much as it had thrilled him. He'd never been so completely out of control of his actions. It was all he could do to stop at just kissing her. He'd fought every urge he had to pull her impossibly closer against him. He wanted to rip off their clothes just so he could feel all of her skin against his. Then, at the park, he hadn't been able to keep his hands off her for more than five minutes.

Nearly every minute since then had been filled with a thousand ways to touch her.

Her ass in his hands as he kissed her deeply and she wound her fingers into the hair at the base of his neck.

His tongue tracing the line of her spine down to that dimple above her ass. He'd only felt it through her clothes, but he'd bet anything that if he could set up camp and move in there, he'd be happy for life.

The hardness of her belly pressing against his - skin to skin - as she moved above him.

"Is it hot in here?" Alice's voice brought him back from his fantasies.

"What?" Edward squeaked as if his testicles were caught in a vice grip.

It perfectly exemplified the reason why this upcoming hour would be one of the longest of his life. Edward couldn't even think about Bella without wanting to touch her, and Alice was annoyingly perceptive at times.

Now, though, she was just looking at him with annoyance. She looked...hot. Not in the attractive sense, in the flushed cheeks, damp hair sense. "It's hot in here," she repeated, fanning her face in demonstration.

He took the hint and upped the air condition as high as it would go. Alice got miserably hot at times - which Edward delighted in telling her was because the baby took after her and was obviously a little devil.

When they got to the studio, Alice decamped to the back seat. Bella came out a moment later looking stunning and visibly pregnant. Perhaps it should have scared him, but instead all Edward could think was that she looked stunning.

And that her top would look even better on his floor. Or her floor. He wasn't picky.

_Jesus, what's wrong with me?_

Edward couldn't help the thrill of gratification that went through him when Bella stopped short, her eager expression falling when she saw Alice in the back seat. "Um. Hi," she said awkwardly as she opened the door,

"Hi!" Alice responded cheerily. "I'm crashing your lunch."

"Sorry, Bella," Edward smiled in apology. "I couldn't talk her out of it. You made the mistake of poking her back on Facebook and this little freak takes that as a token of everlasting friendship."

Bella looked at Alice. "So, if I'd thrown a sheep at you..."

"I would have left Rose immediately to raise cattle and fat babies with you in Texas," the other woman nodded seriously.

"I like her," Bella said to Edward.

"See! I told you," Alice hit Edward lightly on the shoulder.

"But don't call my baby fat," Bella said, feigning anger.

Alice wrinkled her nose. "But babies are so chubby. Chubby little cherubs."

"Oh, I know. They're like tiny Santas...without the hair. Meant to be cuddled," Bella answered, surprising everyone, herself included, with the way her voice went slightly sing-song.

But then she caught Alice's glance in the mirror and the two women burst into giggles. Neither of them were the baby-talking type, but it was a relief to indulge, if only for a second or two.

"Alright you ridiculous preggos. Where am I going for lunch?" Edward interrupted their giggle fest in amusement.

Just then a craving hit Bella with the force of a mack truck. "Oh. Ohhh. You're not going to like it...but I need it. Like, literally. Need." Already just the thought of it had her mouth watering. She brought her hand up to her lips just to make sure she wasn't drooling.

"What?" Edward said, more curious than scared. She looked absolutely ravenous - and not in the way she'd looked at him seconds before he'd kissed her in the park. She was legitimately hungry and looking at him with big, pleading eyes. "Just tell me what you want, and you can have it."

Her voice dropped down to just a whisper. "McDonalds."

"Ooooooh Yeeeeees," Alice said from the backseat.

Edward's grin fell. "You're joking," he hoped.

"Not this time." Bella shook her head slowly. "Please?" she asked. "We can go through the drive thru and we can go somewhere else for you."

His eyebrows shot up. "You mean you want to eat in the car?"

Alice started chortling. "Oh, Edward. You're going to have to get over the whole not eating in the Volvo thing. You're going to have a baby soon."

The atmosphere in the car went from lighthearted and teasing to tense and stifling in an instant. All three of them fell silent. Alice literally held her breath, both exasperated with the pair and hoping she hadn't ruined something when Edward and Bella were apparently getting along so well.

Bella still wasn't entirely comfortable with referring to the baby as his.

Edward still hadn't gotten used to the idea that he was going to be a father.

One, two, three, four, five horribly long seconds went by before Bella let out a long, slow breath. Then she looked at Edward and smiled. "Please," she murmured, her eyes dancing with the humor that had permeated the car just seconds before.

Loving this side of Bella - the easy, light, smiling side of her that she was just beginning to show him - Edward could deny her nothing.

"Fine," he said grudgingly, starting the car.

Both Alice and Bella fist pumped in triumph.

A few minutes later the girls were enjoying Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese and enjoying every bite. "It is ridiculous how good these fries are,"Bella muttered, dipping hers in barbecue sauce.

Though Edward would never admit it, he was rather enjoying his Big N Tasty. He was enjoying watching the girls devour their lunch as if it were a five course meal at a five star restaurant.

Well, he was enjoying watching one of them in particular.

He'd never been jealous of a fry in his life.

It took him a minute to process what Alice was saying to Bella. "You should come to Rose and Edward's birthday party next weekend."

"Wait, what? We're having a party? Since when?" Edward asked.

Alice turned to stare at him like he'd grown a third head. "We always have a party."

"Yeah, with just the family," Edward said before he could think about what he was saying. Alice's eyes narrowed, and Edward did a mental face palm.

Bella chewed slowly, suddenly finding her burger less than appetizing. "That's fine. I don't want to intrude."

"No," Edward said quickly. "Please, forgive me. I wasn't thinking. I'd love it if you would come."

Bella looked at him skeptically. "You're not lying because you just stuck your foot in your mouth. Again. Right?"

One side of Edward's lips lifted in amusement. "I've never lied to you yet, right?"

After a moment of consideration, Bella nodded. "Right."

"I'm not going to start now," he said earnestly.

She studied him for another few moments, seeing that he was being truthful. "Still, I'd hate to ruin Rosalie's birthday."

"You won't," Alice chimed in. "She doesn't really hate you, Bella. She just needs to get to know you. Besides, everyone wants to meet you."

"I'll think about it," Bella allowed after a minute of contemplatively chewing her fry.

After they said good-bye to Bella at the studio, Alice told Edward to wait before he took off.

"I'm going to get a ride back with Rose. Now ask me why."

"Why?" Edward asked, feeling like he was about to walk into a trap.

"Because the sexual tension in this car was so g'damn thick,  _I'm_  going to explode if I don't do something about it soon."

Edward faced forward so he didn't have to look at her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't give me that bullshit, Edward. If you weren't staring at her like she was something to eat, she was staring you at as if she'd rather be licking the barbecue sauce off of your cock instead of that fry. Normally, you bite the damn thing, you don't pleasure it. I'm pretty sure, if I wasn't in the vehicle, you'd have been ripping each others clothes off," Alice ranted.

"Alice!" Edward protested, a little scandalized.

"What? You know it's true. So before I march in there and jump your sister - because right now, I really don't give a fuck who sees me - you better tell me what's going on between you and Bella."

~0~

Despite her initial harshness - she'd been a little worked up - Alice was actually very understanding about the whole situation Edward found himself in.

Alice thought that some things were meant to happen, even if they chose a less than desirable way of coming about. It was possible, she mused, that he and Bella were actually destined to be together.

Edward had dismissed this fanciful notion outright. People weren't fated to be together. If people were lucky, and worked very hard, they could have a good life together Even then, it took a lot of sacrifice and compromise to make a relationship last a few years, let alone a lifetime. And no two people agreed on how to raise a child.

That was why he'd washed his hands of it initially. After all, if his parents - demonstrably loving to each other after all these years, and his father being a child psychologist to boot - could mess up as hugely as they had with Rosalie, what were the odds he could do better? His parents were both incredibly patient people. Edward had problems with his temper. And that was just him - not considering anyone else in the equation.

Edward hardly even knew Bella. He knew she was stubborn and fiercely protective. He knew she had a sharp tongue. He knew she had a penchant for dissecting movies and a work ethic that kept her from telling her boss to go back to hell she'd obviously sprung from.

He knew he wanted to do more than kiss her.

" _It would be so like you to do things so out of order. First the kid. Then the lust. Don't be surprised if you fall for her_ ," Alice had laughed.

But, all kidding aside, regardless of what they would eventually mean to each other, they needed to untangle the web they were weaving before it got so snarled a it could belong to a Disney villain.

And that had been Edward's plan when he arrived at Bella's house that weekend.

It took exactly seven minutes for that plan to crumble like dust in the wind. Their bodies were magnetized, straining toward each other though they both held back. Still, it was useless. As long as they were so close, they came together with the audible, satisfying clack.

Or, in their more human, less metallic state, the sound of their lips occasionally smacking or their clothes rubbing against each other.

"We need to talk," Bella whispered as her head tilted up, allowing him access to her neck.

"I know," he murmured against her throat. Then he darted his tongue out to taste her skin, eliciting a tiny gasp from her.

He brought his face back up to look at her, leaving a trail of light nips in his wake. The slight moisture cooled her super-heated flesh wherever his lips had touched. "I don't know what we're doing. I don't understand this," she admitted, running her cheek against his - flawless skin to grainy, stubbled cheek.

Pulling back slightly, his hands came up to frame her face. His thumbs stroked her cheeks. "Shhhh. Bella. I don't know how to wrap my head around it either," he said, leaning forward as he spoke to pepper kisses on her nose. "But I know I don't want to stop," he confessed.

 _Tell me to stop_ , some still sane part of him begged even as he kissed her once, twice, three times.

Her face still caught between his hands, and her own arms wrapped around him, they both paused, breathing the same air for long moments.

Finally, Bella gave in with a quiet whimper. She pressed her body against his, suffocating all remaining distance between them. "Don't stop," she whispered against his lips.

And he didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Soooo. Yeah.
> 
> I forgot to thank jadedandboring for beta work last time. Shame on me! She neglected her well-earned nap to beta this chappy for us and I love her.
> 
> I'm doing a little better with review replies. I got through half of them. ::sighs at self:: Really. I read them all – sometimes over and over. Thank you so much. You make my day brighter.
> 
> What's the worst thing about being pregnant?


	10. Meet the Cullens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedication: To my Jenn (tellingmelies) who has exactly one thing to say about this fic: WHERE'S MY PREGGO SEXIN, DAMMIT? … Babette - here it is.
> 
> Disclaimer: Dear SM. I flove you and have gotten several people addicted to your wonderful books. Please don't sue me as it will be a waste of time anyway. Kisses, Me.

Edward sighed to himself, waking slowly from an afternoon nap to the feeling of warmth surrounding him. His body was pliant and his blood humming with pleasure from the amazing dream he'd had. He was wrapped in a warm blanket, pulled up on one shoulder to ward away the chill from the AC. Sunlight streamed in the window, warming his face just right. And, best of all, was the warm, soft body pressed against-.

Wait.

Prying one eye open, Edward took in his unfamiliar surroundings. This was not his home. This was not his bed. As he became more aware, he could distinctly feel the contours of the very nude female that was sprawled haphazardly against his side. Her head was on his chest, one hand resting on his stomach, dangerously near his budding erection, and her leg hitched up around his knee. His arm was secure around her, hand along her spine, under the velvet strands of her thick hair.

Edward let his eyes drift down, allowing himself to realize that the afternoon hadn't been a dream.

It wouldn't have been the first time Edward dreamt about Bella. In fact, and this was something he had told no one, he had first fantasized about her minutes after talking to Jasper that day in the clinic.

Sitting in that room, alone with the impersonal magazines and videos surrounding him, he'd been unable to turn his brain off. Fresh from his conversation with Jasper, he was thinking about how beautiful this act was, even when it wasn't about the connection between two people. He was helping his sister make a baby.

And that was where his libido had gotten just a little creeped out. It wasn't conducive at all to what his purpose was. His mind had scrambled for something, anything, to get any thoughts of baby-making and his sister out of his head.

His subconscious had provided him with the image in his head of the brunette woman he'd only glimpsed. Long hair - natural looking with just the right amount of wave in it. Eyes that were nervous and hopeful all at once, but while they displayed a certain vulnerability, he could see the strength in them too. Jasper had provided the explanation why. Edward had thought it was very brave to want to go it on her own. So many people - men and women alike - thought of themselves as incomplete and incapable without someone by their side.

His fantasy built naturally. It struck him as odd later... the logistics of the situation. He came in a little plastic cup, in a sterile, unfamiliar room, visualizing extraordinarily sexy scenarios with a woman he never expected to meet, to create a child for his sister and her partner.

Actually having sex with Bella had been better than anything his mind had conjured up. He used to think of himself as creative, but there was no way he could have imagined the way it had played out in reality.

_No matter how they tried, they just couldn't keep their hands off each other. As close as they were pressed together, it wasn't close enough for either of them. Bella's hand consistently tugged at his shirt, as if she was trying to pull him inside of her instead of against her. He pulled her onto his lap, and that was better - but he wanted more._

_When her firm, squirming behind started to cause a quickly rising problem for him, Edward wondered what the parameters of her 'don't stop' allowed._

_But then she had shifted in his arms, straddling him so quickly that his brain sputtered, not quite comprehending how quickly the game was changing on them. His surprise was enough that he had actually stopped kissing her for a few moments. They stared at each other, panting quietly. She looked about as shell shocked as he felt._

_There were at least a thousand questions coupled with a thousand reasons that they should not be doing this. But though they were both too rational, the noise of everything they should be saying was drowned out by the shrieking need that radiated all around them - undulating like heatwaves hugged the horizon in the desert. They could see it in each others eyes._

_"I want... I want..." Bella stumbled, her hands already undoing the buttons of his shirt with clumsy, shaking fingers. She couldn't articulate. Her brain had turned into a minefield of emotion, and every time she tried to think there was a bright, explosion of sensation that reduced the world to a chaotic state. Desire - white hot and deafening as fire curling out from the detonation zone - ruled over everything._

_And he was right there with her. She didn't need to say anything else. He'd wrapped his arms carefully and firmly around her and stood. Her legs tightened around his waist as he carried her into her bedroom._

The memory alone was enough to turn his lazy, content thoughts libidinous. There was no question that he wanted her again. Now, if not sooner. The desire had not abated in the slightest and though he found himself more capable of stringing coherent thoughts together, he still couldn't think past the ways he wanted to have her.

As if she was somehow attuned to him, Bella began to stir in his arms.

"Hi," she said, smiling in a bashful way that completely belied the downright naughty things she'd done with him just an hour or so before.

His answering smile spread across his face slow, like syrup pooling from a toppled bottle - looking sweet enough to lick. His fingers stroked hers on his chest. "Hey."

She yawned -wide like a cat- and snuggled closer. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"I fell asleep too," he assured.

At that she grinned, this smile a lot more mischievous than her first. "I didn't wear you out, did I?"

He rolled his eyes but smirked at her. "Hardly." He nuzzled the side of her head gently, tickling her with the tip of his nose and enjoying the way she squirmed slightly in his arms. "I have quite a bit more stamina than that."

"Mmm," she tilted her head up so he could kiss her. Edward took the invitation. "I can feel that," she said against his lips, brushing the back of her hand against his returning erection.

They kissed - Bella exploring the length and pleasant girthiness of Edward's cock while he worked his hands down her back, cupping her ass as he pulled her closer to him. Before he knew it, Edward had pressed Bella onto her back and he was leaning over her. The hardness of her belly between them brought some small semblance of sanity back to him. He paused, keeping his weight off her.

"I don't want to hurt you," he murmured, reading the confusion in her eyes at his sudden hesitance.

She relaxed then, and stroked his cheek. "You're not going to hurt me."

He leaned down, kissing her lips lightly, teasingly. "Or make you uncomfortable."

He wasn't naive enough to think that sex could hurt the baby, but he didn't know the mechanics of how Bella would feel. Would his weight on her cause discomfort? Jasper had told him once, rolling his eyes in exasperation, that Bella would probably die before admitting to any sort of distress. It wasn't because she was proud - she just hated to be a bother to anyone.

"I'll tell you if it gets uncomfortable," she said, a hint of impatience in her tone.

"Promise," he demanded, sucking lightly on her neck, knowing he was driving her insane. Still, he needed to hear it. Somehow, the thought of causing her any sort of pain was unendurable to him.

"I swear. Edward... I promise that I will kick your ass if you don't hurry up and..." she trailed off into a whimper as his tongue found her nipple.

"And what?" he asked, tracing the pad of a single, wetted finger around the edge of her areola. As he had discovered earlier when he'd pushed her shirt up and off of her, Bella's breasts had become fuller than they were in his original fantasy, and several times more sensitive to boot.

He was definitely trying to drive her mad now. Bella grasped for words. "Fuck me. I need you inside me. Now," she said hurriedly.

That stopped him short.

Their first encounter had been almost entirely wordless. Neither of them could form more than one word statements here and there:  _yes, more, oh, Edward, Bella._  The first time he'd been inside of her, it was at her own direction. She was a vision: sitting astride him, her hair worked by his hands into a reckless pattern around her face. She was glowing - her skin a perfect, pale pink that absolutely shone in the afternoon light. As she'd slid down on him, surrounding him, her lips had been slightly open and swollen from their voracious kissing.

The moment when they were finally joined was strangely, but perfectly, quiet - an extreme counterpoint to the fervent, just-can't-get-enough kisses. Edward's hands slid up her neck to her cheek, the gesture intimate and affectionate. Then, as they started to move together, he was everywhere.

His hands had run down to her breasts where he had discovered her heightened sensitivity quite quickly. The sound of her moans had made him buck his hips into her a little rougher than he'd intended, but she seemed to enjoy that as well.

As they continued to move together, his fingers traced the contours of her body, finding pleasure points. The way her eyelashes fluttered as he touched her sensitive spots made pleasure coil tighter at his core. Her breathy moans as he moved in her made him crazy. The way she tightened around him had made the building pressure him him all but unbearable.

It was then that Edward's questing hands had encountered the swell at her stomach. Like it had the first time, some undefinable, primal emotion welled in him. This woman was his; she carried him inside her. It was more feeling than concrete thought, and the enormity of it had pushed him into a powerful orgasm.

Now, though, it was a different kind of lust for her that grew almost unbearable at her wanton words. Now, on her back beneath him, she was inviting him in. She was begging for it.

Well, he wasn't going to deny her pleas - especially when it was all he wanted at that moment. Right then, the earthquake that was supposed to send California into the ocean could have hit and neither of them would have noticed. There was nothing more important than being joined again.

If they thought about it for even a moment, nothing about their situation or what they were doing made even a lick of sense. But somehow, when they were joined the world was, for those minutes, exactly what it should be. In the tumult that had been their lives those long months, it was a welcome state of being, and they clung to it.

~0~

Bella's growling stomach was what finally got them out of bed as afternoon bled into evening.

It had taken a little convincing, but Edward convinced her to let him make or retrieve something to eat while she showered. "Anything you want," he said, waggling his eyes and hoping to high hell she didn't have another McDonald's craving.

With pursed lips she'd given in. "Eggs," she said finally.

"Eggs?" Edward was endlessly amused.

Bella rolled her eyes. "I have never eaten so many eggs in my entire life as I have these last couple of months."

Twenty minutes later, Bella emerged from her bedroom in a set of comfy looking, silk pajamas to find a feast of bacon, pancakes, hashbrowns and, of course, eggs waiting for her.

Somehow, they managed to make it through a meal without mauling each other, though it was a testament to their will. Edward, Bella thought, didn't make it easier when a drop of orange juice gathered at the corner of his mouth. She wanted to offer to lick it off for him, since he didn't seem to be in a rush to do so. Meanwhile, Edward laughed at himself and the aimless thought that wandered through his head: if everything tasted better wrapped in bacon, would that be true of Bella's kisses?

They were both reluctant when it came time for him to leave. He gathered her close, his arms crossing behind her back as he kissed her. "I have a very early meeting tomorrow," he excused ruefully.

Bella said nothing, letting her lips try to convince him that it would be so much better to stay. What was a little sleep deprivation compared to the absolute pleasure of being together?

They had, for the moment, called a moratorium on even trying to talk. The thousand voices, each with a question or a condemnation in their head, had been silenced. Talking, they knew, wouldn't be nearly as pleasant. One or both of them would probably put their feet in their mouths. Difficult questions would have to be asked and answered.

He did leave, eventually – the meeting he had to go was scheduled ridiculously early and Edward wasn't a morning person. But he couldn't get her out of his head. His dreams that night were visceral. Where they had been washed out and far away before, now they were vibrant and when he woke he could still feel her like a drug in his bloodstream.

His mind drifted to her even after he was awake and sitting across from his editor, Mike, over breakfast and paperwork.

"Yo. Cullen," Mike said sharply, snapping to get his attention.

Edward started and blinked, having absolutely no idea what they'd just been talking about. "Um," he said brilliantly, wracking his brain for the last thing he'd heard Mike say.

Mike chuffed, scrutinizing the other man carefully. "Wow, Edward. You're not usually this spaced out after you get laid. Must be some kind of girl."

Edward grimaced. Mike had an uncanny ability to tell when anyone had sex. Usually Edward found it a little funny. Just then it was quite inconvenient.

Setting his fork down, Mike rested his elbows on the table and rested his head on his hands, leaning forward. He waggled his eyebrows, his big, blue eyes sparkling with amusement. "So. Dish. Tell me all about the woman who has the oh-so-serious, apathetic toward women and relationships, Edward Cullen staring off with – I have to tell you – the goofiest smile on your face."

Edward glared at his boss. "And you wonder why you're single."

Mike just snickered and waited. He obviously wasn't going to let this go.

Well… it wasn't as if Edward could tell any member of his family about this latest turn of events. The too-strong-to-ignore attraction that he felt to Bella felt entirely too overwhelming when coupled with the already tangled mess that was how they'd come to know each other. The pull between them was powerful in its own right and deserved consideration without the addition of everything else he hadn't sorted out in his own head. His family would never be able to separate the two.

So, carefully editing, Edward told Mike a little about Bella.

~0~

Edward and Bella had lunch together three times that week. They were sure to keep it to lunch and to make sure they met in public places so they wouldn't give in to the urge to rip their clothes off. They may have given up on the notion of talking for the time being, but they both knew they couldn't entirely retreat into the intense bubble where only they existed.

"Alice had another ultrasound last week to find out the sex of their baby," Edward said over a bowl of pho.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Believe me, I know. Jasper wouldn't shut up about this teeny, tiny little suit that he bought, 'for Christmas, Bella'" she imitated Jasper's how-can-you-be-so-fashion-unconscious tone perfectly.

Edward chuckled.

"Although," Bella worried a napkin in her hands, "that reminds me. I have an ultrasound appointment the Tuesday after your birthday. If you want to come."

Silence stretched on between them as Edward took a drink of his Thai iced tea and swallowed hard. It had not escaped his attention that this was the first time Bella actually invited him to be a part of anything to do with the baby. He wasn't exactly sure how he felt about it. When it was him pursuing her it was about taking the right steps to do the right things. Her acceptance was binding somehow. If she accepted him as part of her pregnancy, then the reality that he would be a father in four months time felt closer to cold, hard fact.

Edward was still completely confused as to what he felt about being someone's father, but he wasn't about to make things harder on Bella – especially after all he'd put her through insisting on being a part of her child's life. "Yeah. Tuesday is a slow day anyway," he said carefully. Then he smiled a little easier, remembering Alice and Rosalie's excitement over the revelation they were having a boy. "Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"

"I'm supposed to say I don't care as long as its healthy, right?" Bella said, the tension draining from her features with a smirk. "I really don't. But honestly, when I think about it, it's a girl I see. I don't really know why." She shrugged, smiling a small, private smile. "That's just the way it is."

They slipped back into easy conversation – Edward sharing stories about his childhood with his rambunctious, older brother. While his mother would tell anyone that girls were harder – and Rosalie hardest – Edward and Emmett had given her a fair share of heart attacks as they were growing up. She'd nearly had a heart attack when eight-year-old Emmett had convinced his three-year-old brother to go down the stairs in a box.

"The first time it was really fun. The second time… well. Let's just say there was a lot of blood." They both laughed a little. Then Edward's expression became more serious. "So… are you coming on Saturday?"

Bella's stomach twisted at the idea of Edward's birthday party. She was so divided about what she  _should_  do. She had, however, already made her decision. "I'll be there."

~0~

Esme and Carlisle Cullen owned a gorgeous home in Brentwood. As Bella had expected, the home obviously had its roots in the early days of the city, but it looked like it had been remodeled to incorporate a more modern style. Bella was still marveling at the beauty of architecture mixed with the flawless landscaping when the door opened.

"Bella!" Alice cried merrily. She bounded down the walk to Bella – a feat that was actually a little hilarious as Alice was big enough around the belly and small enough in stature that she waddled as she ran. Bella was surprised when Alice wrapped her in a big hug. "Oh! I'm so glad you came!"

Letting Alice's obvious enthusiasm calm her nerves, Bella hugged the other woman back just as tightly – bump to bump.

"Come on," Alice said, keeping one arm wrapped around Bella's waist as she walked them forward. "Everyone's already here." She leaned in, whispering conspiratorially. "Edward's been looking at his phone every five seconds. I think he expected you to make some excuse. I kept telling him you'd never do that," she clucked, shaking her head.

"Never crossed my mind," Bella lied, amused at how Alice acted like she'd known her forever instead of just having met a week and a half before. The truth was she'd thought about opting out of this party about as often as teenage boys thought about sex. Well, that wasn't entirely true because she thought about sex – especially sex with Edward – as often as a sixteen year old boy. However, most of her spare thoughts went toward dreading this party.

But, in the spirit of making every effort, she didn't want to give Edward's family any reason to think of her as mean or cold. She needed to know, for herself more than anything, that she could interact with these people amicably.

"Carlisle and Esme are the nicest in-laws you could ever ask for," Alice said as they entered the thankfully empty foyer. "Although, Esme does delight in helping  _my_ mother torture me by not letting me forget that I'm probably going to pee my pants at some point during this pregnancy."

"It's true. It will happen," came a gentle, cheerful voice. Esme Cullen materialized from a room to the right of where Alice and Bella were standing, a warm smile on her face.

After Esme introduced herself formally, hugging Bella warmly, she picked up the conversation. "Although, if you ask me, a little bit of pee is not the biggest inconvenience of pregnancy. Let's face it. There's going to be plenty of pee in your future."

Alice wrinkled her nose. "I can't decide whether the radiating heartburn or the occasional hemorrhoid is the worst."

"Are you kidding me?" Bella blurted, her surprise momentarily overcoming her reserved, quiet nature. "How is that even a fair contest? Hemorrhoids. Every time."

Both Esme and Alice tilted their heads, but before Bella could blush or stammer out an apology, they both started laughing. "I'm going to have to agree with her, Alice," Esme said.

"Okay, okay, you're right," Alice admitted. "But you know, I can kind of deal with the physical stuff. It's not pleasant or comfortable, but it's kind of what I signed up for – you know? What I  _really_ hate is the stomach patting. Hello! I am, very obviously, not Santa, Buddha  _or_ the Pillsbury Dough Boy."

"Poke 'em back. I do," Bella said. They both stared at her for a moment – tickled and surprised. "What? I figure if public petting is allowable it shouldn't be restricted to just us," she said, smoothing her hands over her bulge.

Alice and Esme giggled. "No, no. Tell me this hasn't happened to you: entirely unsolicited, unwelcome advice."

All three of them rolled their eyes. "Oh, God," Alice said dryly. "I had this woman the other day – the entire time I was working on her daughter, she was on about what I  _should_ be doing. Was I reading to my bump? Did I make my husband," Alice's tone was acerbic on that word, "talk to the baby? Am I going to get an epidural because you know,  _most_ women couldn't handle the pain. She did. Twenty hours of labor. No drugs. Because she's sooo strong."

"Oh, screw that," Bella said, already too familiar with the epidural/natural argument. "I'm well aware that women survived the pain of labor for centuries before pain killers were invented. Not wanting to feel pain that I don't  _need_ to feel is not a weakness – thanks. I mean, I have no problem with people who don't want to use the epidural. If you want to feel the pain, more power to you."

"I know, right?" Alice rolled her eyes. "Rose is that way about silly things like headaches. She refuses to take ibuprofen when she has an ache." Her smile was adoring when she spoke of her wife.

"Speaking of things I miss…" Bella trailed off. Ibuprofen had been a staple in her life before the baby.

"I just about died of lack of caffeine during my pregnancies," Esme contributed.

"What are we giggling about in here?" a soft, amused voice distracted the women. Bella looked up to find Carlisle Cullen leaning against the wall of the living room. He was smiling in a way that Bella recognized. Edward had inherited it.

In all honesty – Edward used it better, but that was beside the point.

"We're just complaining about all the things we're going without, Daddio," Alice said, going to Carlisle and giving him a side hug.

He ruffled her hair tenderly, as if she was his blood daughter, and hugged her back. "I missed alcohol." He caught Bella's confused stare and smirked, again reminding her of Edward. "What? My wife said if she couldn't have any than neither could I."

"Ah, I was already carrying your demon spawn, dear. It was the least you could do," Esme quipped. She looked at Bella and shook her head. "Emmett, if they had let him bake the entire 9 months, would have been over eleven pounds probably. They took him out via c-section three weeks early at nine and a half pounds."

Bella's eyes nearly bulged out of her head, her mind automatically wondering how someone could birth an eleven pound baby.

Taking pity on her, Carlisle distracted Bella by extending his hand and introducing himself. He clasped her hand in both of his, squeezing briefly. "Welcome, Bella," he said sincerely.

"You did come!" an enthusiastic, familiar voice caught Bella's attention.

Edward stood in the entryway, a beautiful smile lighting up his face. He was happy to see her, and it made warmth spread through her. Bella was smiling back before she fully realized what she was doing.

And because she only had eyes for Edward in that moment, she missed that Rosalie was standing right beside him. "Great," she said dryly.

Bella's head snapped to the statuesque beauty's pursed-lipped face. "Happy Birthday," Bella said, somewhat awkwardly.

The tension that suddenly permeated the room was oppressive.

"Hmph," Rosalie grunted in vague acknowledgement. Then her eyes found Alice's. "I'll be in the kitchen," she said brusquely, turning and striding out of the room without another word.

Alice let out a long, slow sigh.

"I can-" Bella began, but Alice cut her off.

"No. You're fine," Alice insisted, forcing a smile back on her face for Bella's sake. "Really. I'll talk to her." She shuffled off then, and Esme took her place at Bella's side.

"Edward told us what you told him about the tape. For what it's worth, we believe you," she murmured lowly.

"Rosalie does too," Carlisle continued. "It's just…"

"It's a lot easier to blame me," Bella finished. "Especially because of everything else that's going on. No. I get it. I never would have used that tape for my own gain…but if I had handled Royce better, it might not have happened."

"The way I understand it, you handled Royce just fine," Esme patted her hand, smiling conspiratorially. "Thank you for that by the way. If I'd have gotten my hands on him, I probably would be in jail right now."

Bella couldn't help but giggle at the mental image of gentle, little Esme taking on the likes of Royce King.

Carlisle and Emse made their excuses then – something about food preparation – and left Edward and Bella alone.

"They like you, you know," Edward said, coming to sit beside her on the couch. "I can tell."

Bella let out a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding. "I like them," she answered honestly.

He smiled and again, the mood in the room changed. The way he looked at her, Bella had no doubt that he desperately wanted to kiss her, or even pull her close to him. He didn't dare though, and that spoke volumes to her. It answered a question that had been nagging her.

Edward hadn't told anyone in the family about the newest developments in their relationship. She shouldn't have been surprised. She hadn't even told Jake.

She was itching to touch Edward.

Finally, one of them had to break the silence. "Are you thirsty?" Edward asked the first thing to come to mind. She nodded, finding his slight nervousness a little endearing. "I'll get you something to drink," he murmured. He smiled slightly, his fingertips brushing her arm in an intimate gesture.

She raised an eyebrow at him, her cheeks flushing because part of her was pleased at his attention. "It's your birthday party. You shouldn't be serving me."

He rolled his eyes, quickly brushing his thumb over her lips with a wistful expression on his face. Then he got up without another word.

Bella let out a long, slow breath, allowing herself to slump a little. She was a little overwhelmed, though she was trying not to let it show. They were being so kind to her. And even though Rosalie hadn't been pleasant, at least she hadn't glared. Yet. She rubbed her temples, trying to put her thoughts together. Between her nerves, the Cullens' reaction to her and Edward's bewildering - and bewitching - tenderness, her emotions were out of control. She was either going to start sobbing or have some kind of fit over nothing.

Feeling the hair at the back of her neck prick up with the sensation that someone was watching her, Bella lifted her head. A somewhat eerie sight confronted her. Two tiny, blonde haired little girls were staring at her like something out of a horror movie she remembered. "Hi," she said, uncertainly.

Some might have found it strange that despite the fact she was five months pregnant with her own child, other people's children kind of creeped Bella out. Especially when they resembled the children of the corn. She cleared her throat and tried again as the twins kept staring at her. "You must be Katrina and Irina."

At that, they broke into huge, toothy grins complete with dimples. "I'm Katie!" said the one on the right.

"I'm Irina!" her sister chimed in.

They both ran at her then, one clambering onto the couch on either side of her. Katie gasped, her eyes zeroing in on Bella's stomach. "You have baby! Like Aunt Alice!" she said, patting Bella's baby bump.

Out of force of habit, Bella patted her back. Katie thought it was hysterical. Not to be left out of the tickle fest, Irina patted Bella's bump and then broke into her own round of giggles. Soon they were all three poking and giggling fiends.

Bella had to smile because the only thing that could out-cute a giggling baby was a giggling baby squared.

When they got over their giggles, the girls began their interrogation. "D'you play baseball with Uncle Edward?" Katie asked.

"Baseball?" Bella echoed, confused.

The twins nodded in unison. "Uncle Edward plays baseball," Irina repeated.

Edward came back in the room then, handing a glass of orange juice to Bella. "When have you seen me play baseball?" he asked the twins, bemused.

"Mommy said you likes Bella. Then, Daddy saids you bats for the o'er side," Katie responded, her innocent, chubby face and big blue eyes making the comment hysterical. Bella covered her mouth to stifle the giggle that escaped.

A big hand came over the couch, clamping quickly over Katie's tiny mouth. "Oh, isn't that cute. Kids say the darndest things," a deep voice chuckled boisterously. Bella followed the big hands up, up, up until she was looking at the dimpled, smiling face of Emmett Cullen.

Bella stood so she could properly greet him, but Emmett was already jabbering away. "I'm glad you're here, kid. First of all, major props for breaking the bas- uh..." Emmett eyed his daughters, "Royce's hand," he amended, extending a fist toward Bella.

Her mouth lifting up at one corner, Bella hesitantly fist bumped Emmett.

"Also, props on not killing my brother yet," he said, extending a fist again. He smirked at Edward. "Happy Birthday by the way, bro."

Grinning now, Bella bumped him again. Edward winked at her.

"Thirdly - how's the party animal? Have you been thinking boy? Boy? Boy? This family is in some serious need of testosterone. Right now, we only have me and Dad," Emmett shook his head in mock consternation.

Bella laughed at that. "I'll see what I can do."

A beautiful and somewhat exasperated looking woman entered the living room then. The last Cullen. The only one Bella hadn't met yet. "I see you've met my three children," she said wryly as she sidled up to Emmett's side.

Emmett nuzzled her neck playfully. "Babe, you know nothing about me is child sized. You know I know what you were saying in Russian last night right? Ooo, big daddy."

Tanya turned an interesting shade of red at Emmett's whispered words. She smacked his arms and hissed at him, "Stop it!" but even Bella could tell she was grinning. She shook her head, looking back to Bella. "Anyway! I'm Tanya," she said friendlily, extending her hand.

The Cullens, Bella found, were just a great bunch of people. Genuinely warm and demonstrably loving toward each other, most of them went out of their way to make Bella feel welcomed.

Most of them.

Bella was taking a moment to herself, sitting on a bench below the elevated patio, when she accidentally overheard a conversation between Rosalie and Tanya.

"I just don't understand why Alice had to invite her to my birthday party. This is my day. I shouldn't have to deal with things I don't like on my birthday," Rosalie groused.

"She didn't do it for you," Tanya said softly. "She did it for Edward, but I think you know that."

Rosalie apparently had nothing to say to that. As Bella considered texting Jacob and asking him to make up some excuse to call her away, Tanya sighed and spoke again. "Rose, I know this isn't easy on you, and it's understandable that you've been preoccupied about how your life has changed, but do you realize that you've essentially abandoned Edward through all of this?"

"What are you talking about?" Rosalie hissed back defensively.

"It's telling that you would even have to ask me. Of everyone, you've always been the one to know when he needs help. Well, he needs help now and you're ignoring him. And let me say this since no one else in this family will – you are wallowing in misery of your own making. Yes, I know it's been a struggle because it wasn't what you expected, but tell me this – do you love your child any less because of everything that's happened?"

"Of course not!"

Tanya's voice was a gentler as she continued. "In a few months time, you and Alice will have a beautiful child that you love and wished for together. Yes, Jasper is a person you did not plan on having in your life, but he adores your child and your wife while not presenting a threat to your parenthood or your connection to Alice. And you like him. Don't tell me you don't."

There was a pause and a sigh. "He's growing on me," Rosalie admitted.

"So what do you have to be upset about?" Tanya asked plainly.

"Bella –"

"Bella, Bella, Bella. All I hear out of your mouth is how Bella's mere presence affects you. Well, I have news for you, sister: she impacts your brother's life a thousand times more than she does yours. You are acting like she's a nuisance he chose to inflict on you." Tanya spoke quickly then, covering up the noise of Rosalie's rebuttal. "Rosalie, he's completely lost over this. He is having to re-write his outlook on his entire life. You know, you and he are two of the most stubborn people I've ever met. You don't change your minds easily. I don't think he has the first clue of how to come to grips with everything."

"He knows he can talk to me," Rosalie insisted.

Tanya scoffed. "Even I know Edward better than that. He'll drive himself insane worrying about if he's even fit to be a father before he actually talks it out with any of us. You actually have a chance of smacking some sense into him; he needs the reassurance. But I'm betting that as much as he doesn't want to come to any of us, he's even less likely to come to you with this. How many times in the last few months has even the mention of her name caused you to go on some sort of tirade? Your first and last piece of advice to him has been 'don't trust her'. Well – he has no choice, Rose."

"He does have a choice!" Rosalie countered. "He could get it all hashed out legally – iron out his rights the way you told him he should, on paper. So she can't screw him over."

"That was a worst case scenario," Tanya returned, exasperation leaking into her tone. "I tell my clients to be aware of the worst case scenario but not to plan on it. There's no reason to make this situation unpleasant just for the sake of it.

The older woman sighed, her voice calming again. "Even if you're right and she's out to screw Edward over – for whatever reason – then you should be playing the nice guy anyway. If things go horribly wrong and Edward ends up in court, we don't want to look like the acrimonious ones now do we?"

Again, Rosalie was silent. "Look, for Edward's sake if not your own, you need to get this through your head. That woman is bearing his child. She will be in his life forever. There's no reason not to at least try and make things amicable between all of us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My normal beta, jadedandboring, decided to go and give birth (I'm sure she did it because I needed some first hand research for the birth scene later, but it's SOOOOO inconvenient). Let us all send her some mental well wishes for her miniest (who is ADORABLE and I want to smoosh).
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you to my lovely bmango. She looked this over for me when I was in a tizzy. All mistakes are mine because I have no patience.
> 
> OH. P.S. welcome to the SLEW of new followers. ::waves:: Hope you are enjoying your stay here...but I'm sofa king curious... where did you all come from? Did I miss a rec somewhere? The mystery keeps me up at nights.
> 
> I know people had the audacity to give you advice you didn't ask for - what was the worst thing someone told you?


	11. Transitional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So uh... HI new followers. Jesus My Phone Won't Stop Beeping Christ. I'm a little intimidated, I gotta say. So, huge thanks to LadyExcalibur2010 and tg10781 for sending me a veritable deluge of their readers.
> 
> Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me...ya know, in case you thought they did.

Edward watched his older brother with a look between horror and disgust. Emmett had flipped a bratwurst directly from the grill into his mouth. "Hot, hot!" he cried around a mouthful of meat, chewing it with a wide open mouth the way a dog would. He passed it from hand to hand, finger to finger as he ate. Edward knew he must have scalded the hell out his tongue.

"You're such a child, Emmett," he said scathingly.

Emmett looked over, his tongue hanging out as he cooled it in the crisp air. "So my wife keeps telling me. You're not gonna have any, ya persnickety bastard?"

"Of course I am. It's a prime bratwurst, not a hot dog. I just don't eat like a savage," the younger Cullen brother laughed. "Although for what you just did to your tongue, you may as well be eating a hot dog. You're a disgrace to good meat everywhere."

"Look, Edward, you don't need to tell me about your love for sausage," Emmett said, wrapping an arm around his brother's shoulders. "But does Bella know?"

Saying nothing, Edward shrugged his brother's arm off. Emmett laughed. "She's pretty in person," he said innocently. When Edward still didn't answer he continued probing. "She seems awesome."

Edward sighed, picking up the beer he'd put down near the grill and taking a swig. "Honestly, Em... she's amazing," he admitted. "She's a hellcat, and she has absolutely zero tolerance for anyone's bullshit."

"Seems like she'll fit in well with the women of this family," Emmett said, grinning as he stacked the bratwursts and steaks high.

"Yeah, if Rosalie ever calms down about her," Edward muttered, his eyes on his sister as she and Tanya came back from wherever they'd disappeared to.

"Give her time, bro. At least she's not making a scene, right?"

Edward wasn't paying much attention to his brother anymore. It occurred to him that Bella had excused herself to get some air and hadn't yet come back. Suddenly concerned, he waved at his brother and went in search of her.

As soon as he went back in the house, he ran into Alice instead. "Hey, I was just coming to find you. Bella said she wasn't feeling well. I convinced her to stay, but she's lying down in your room. I hope that's okay."

"It's fine. Thanks," Edward said quickly. "Emmett's about ready to serve. Why don't you go join everyone, and I'll take care of Bella."

Alice poked him in the chest. "Oh, I bet you'll take care of her. Don't think I didn't see the goo goo eyes you were making at each other earlier."

"Goo goo eyes," Edward scoffed, "What the heck does that even mean, Alice?"

She pointed two fingers at her eyes and then pointed at him. "I'm watching you," she warned as she moved toward where the rest of the family was waiting.

"Creepy little monkey," he muttered to himself as he walked toward the stairs. His sister-in-law occasionally made him feel like a whirlwind had hit him. But then, it took a woman with the strength of hurricane to keep up with his sister. Still, it unnerved him how much Alice saw. The last thing he needed - that Bella needed - was for his family to get involved in whatever was happening between them.

At least, not before they figured it out themselves.

Edward knocked softly on his door before he walked in. Bella was sitting on his bed, her worried expression fading to a smile when he walked in. "Hey," she greeted him.

Closing the door behind him, Edward went to sit beside her. "Hey," he said back, stroking her cheek with the pads of his fingers. "Alice said you weren't feeling well?"

"I'm fine," she assured him, letting her eyes close. She hadn't realized until that moment how much she missed his physical affection. Even in the short amount of time they'd been intimate, she'd grown used to the touches. He was always touching her in some way.

"Open your eyes," he requested, his hand cupping her cheek now, tilting her head up. His soft smile faltered when she complied. Her eyes were more troubled than they had been... and slightly bloodshot. "Bella... were you crying?"

Bella turned away, hating that he saw through her so easily. "I cry at everything these days," she said, trying to shrug it off. "

"What happened?" Edward asked, not believing her nonchalance for a second.

"I'm telling you. It takes nothing to make me cry. I was sobbing watching re-runs of Scrubs the other night," she tried, still not looking at him.

"Bella," he said warningly. He swept her hair away from her face, effectively removing her last shield.

She sighed. "I overheard a conversation I wasn't meant to hear," she admitted finally.

Edward could easily guess who was speaking. "What did she say?" he asked flatly.

"Nothing I didn't already know, really," Bella said shaking her head. "Edward, it isn't her fault. I feel horrible that I'm ruining her day. It's her birthday too after all."

"You're not doing anything wrong." His thumb moved over her cheek as he spoke.

Bella put her hand over his. "You're right. But neither is she. She's actually being very good, given the circumstances."

Edward pursed his lips, looking skeptical at that statement.

His doubting expression made her smile inexplicably. Then she sobered, facing facts. "She doesn't like me, Edward." He opened his mouth to protest but she stopped him, dropping their hands, now twined together, to her lap. "It's okay. You don't have to make excuses for her. I know, at the very least, I'm a constant reminder of what I'd imagine is the stupidest thing she's ever done. And not only is she putting up with someone she doesn't like and doesn't trust, but I'm also invading a space where she feels safe. I don't know Rosalie very well, but I bet there are not a lot of places where she feels comfortable enough to be herself. Right or wrong - my presence is taking that away from her."

Edward was silent, unable to counter that. "I should leave," Bella said quietly. "I've been here a while. Let her have half a day's peace without me."

Instead of responding, Edward wrapped an arm around her, pulling her tight against him the way he'd wanted to all day. He began to press slightly moist kisses to her temple. "It's my birthday too. What if I really wanted you to stay?"

Turning her head so she could catch his lips, Bella didn't answer right away. They kissed slowly, hands and lips communicating the closeness that they'd been missing that day. After a few minutes of that, Bella sighed, pulling away and laying her head on his shoulder instead. "In all honesty Edward, it's not complete altruism. In fact, it's not altruism in the slightest. I can't face her right now."

She hoped he understood. The whole day had been more than a little overwhelming, and where Bella was typically a calm person, the combination of pregnancy and other major life changes were threatening to make her emotional. She was still getting used to the idea of having a partner in raising her child. She was just beginning to understand that Edward brought with him a whole family. These people were her baby's aunts and uncles...and grandparents...and cousins.

It was almost more than she could handle as it was, not even considering her history with Rosalie. Add to that the words she couldn't get out of her head - about Edward's struggles and Rosalie's belief that Bella would screw him over in the end - and she would never be able to get through the rest of the day without some type of outburst.

Edward sighed, running his fingers through her hair and kissing her forehead. "I understand," he grumbled finally.

His obvious reluctance to let her go gave Bella what could only be described as a warm, tingly feeling. She smiled against his neck.

"I did get you something," she said, lifting her head and grabbing her purse.

"You didn't have to get me anything," Edward protested, instantly curious what it might be.

Bella chuffed. "Well, I probably wouldn't have. Just call this fortuitous timing," she grinned at him, handing over an envelope that had seen better days. It had obviously been riding around in her purse for a while.

Since she was looking at him expectantly, Edward took that as a sign that he could open his gift now. Inside were two tickets with the name Query on top. Edward started, his eyes going wide. "No way..." He looked up at her with incredulous eyes. "How... how on earth did you score these tickets? My editor has been trying to get us into the debut night."

Query was a new restaurant with a lot of buzz around it. The owners were both fairly new to the restaurant game, but the project had drawn in several of the best fusion chefs around. The restaurant was set to open to the public in about a month or so. Mike had been trying, unsuccessfully, to get them in on the soft opening - where critics were usually invited for a sneak peek.

Edward's obvious excitement spread, making Bella feel happy and satisfied that she was able to make him smile like that. "Suffice to say I got the hook up. Now... I have my own ticket, so bring your editor. You two will be the only critics at this-"

Bella was cut off as Edward all but attacked her. His arms wrapped around her, holding her against him as he kissed her passionately. Startled, Bella made a slight mewling noise, but then she was kissing him back, her hands making a mess of his previously unwrinkled shirt.

"We can't do this here," she said a minute later, kissing his stubble covered jaw line despite her words.

"Why not?" he asked, completely absorbed by her.

 _So many reasons_ , she thought but didn't say. "Any second now, your family is going to send someone after us. You need to go back to them, and I need to go."

Edward groaned. It took him a moment to compose himself but then he loosened his hold on her. "Can I come over tonight?" he asked impulsively.

The way he kissed her as he made his request was entirely unfair. It served its purpose though. Her need for him was so great then that she almost forgot about his waiting family. Common sense barely got the upper hand over her raging hormones. "Yes," she answered breathlessly.

It might have been an unwise decision, but it was still his birthday after all.

~0~

They both knew what was going to happen when Edward came over that evening. Neither of them bothered to pretend. They were in each others arms the second Bella opened the door when he rang. That night, they fell asleep still tangled together.

Inevitably, Bella stirred with the increasingly desperate need to pee. It was hard to ignore the pleasant way her heart twisted, seeming to grow in her chest, when Edward pouted and whined in his sleep, his hand patting the bed as if looking for her. And when she came back to bed, he automatically pulled her back into his arms, contentedly burying his face against her neck without opening his eyes.

The second time she had to get up, when she came back, Edward again pulled her close to him, this time with her back against his chest. She was positive that he was about to fall right back to sleep like last time, when his hand began to run along the curve of her belly. His touches were light, teasing, designed to heighten her senses. He only used the very tip of his fingers, always on the edge of tickling and rubbing, but never quite falling off either side.

With his other hand, he wordlessly swept her hair away from her shoulders and neck, fitting his body against hers as he began to nip at her skin with his teeth and lips. Sleepiness was quickly being replaced by a growing ache for him. Bella was torn... part of her wanting to stay still and just experience the way his light motions barely brushed nerve endings along her body that she wasn't even aware she had. She gave little mewls of pleasure at his ministrations, the sounds she made all needed to continue. But at the same time, she was quickly becoming desperate for more.

Finally, unable to take his teasing any longer, she put one hand over his on the apex of her belly. She moved his hand up her body, guiding his palm to her breast.

She could feel him smile against her back, where his questing mouth had taken him.

"Do you like this?" he whispered in her ear, his voice a throaty whisper as he cupped her breast, rubbing his thumb in circles over her nipple.

"God, yes," she murmured, arching slightly, pushing her breasts against his hand as her back came more firmly up against his chest.

"I love the way you feel in my hands," he rumbled, his lips still pressed against the shell of her ear as he tugged her nipple lightly. "You know those noises you make for me drive me crazy when I touch you."

The combination of his hand moving on her and the things he was saying was rapidly clouding her mind. "Edward," she moaned, the word coming out like a plea and an expression of the pleasure she felt all at once.

He didn't answer, instead kissing along her ear, down her neck and then her shoulder, biting lightly. As he did this, he shifted his lower body against hers, spreading her legs with his. He used his free hand to guide his cock along her entrance, still teasing.

"Edward," she said again, this time more of a demand than anything else.

Unable to deny either of them any longer, Edward eased himself inside her slowly.

As it had before, once he was inside her some of the urgency of their actions lessened. He muffled a groan against her shoulder as be began to move inside of her, thrusting at a measured pace. She moved with him, stunned by how deep she was able to take him in that position.

Their rhythm built naturally, following the build in both of them. For Bella, it was a combination of factors that made the sex so intense. He was continuously hitting that sweet spot inside her, educing noises from her that she wasn't even aware she was capable of. His fingers moving over her body, along the lines of her ever changing curves, made her feel sexy - beautiful. With his arm wrapped around her, their position was intimate in the extreme. She felt cherished, the way he held her tight against him. She'd never felt that way during sex; it was powerful, shaking her to the core in a way she'd never previously experienced.

Though Bella couldn't know it, it was much the same for Edward. As their rocking hips picked up to a fevered pace, Bella's fingers twined with his, below her breasts and above the mound of her belly. It was like she felt as he did-that even though he was deep inside her, he wasn't close enough. She wrapped him tighter around herself, even as her walls contracted, wrapping her tighter around him. She was so beautiful, and it felt like she was his. And if she asked he would give himself to her. It was terrifying and enlightening, because he had taken women to his bed before, but never felt like he wanted to keep them.

As he moved harder and faster in her, he just held her tight. His breath was hard and ragged in her ear, their moans building together until he heard her sweet words. "Yes. Oh, baby, please," she cried, bucking against him as she fell into orgasm. And God he wanted to hear that again, and again. It was the last coherent thought in his head before he let go, losing himself inside of her.

They fell asleep again, as their breathing evened out, holding each other only slightly looser than just minutes before.

When they woke again there was a sort of heaviness that lingered about them. They were slightly awkward together. Again, their relationship had shifted without their permission, bringing with it only more questions and confusion. The web they were winding themselves in was so tangled, it was time they tried to find the g'damned spider before it got worse.

Edward and Bella were both unnaturally quiet as they woke, though he automatically kissed her cheek tenderly. Again, while she showered and changed, Edward found something for them to eat, this time deciding on mixed fruit and toast. He set this out on the coffee table in the living room and waited for her.

When Bella came out, her hair damp from her shower, in loose fitting jeans and a plain shirt, she sat on the couch beside him. They ate in relative silence, until Edward noticed that Bella was wincing and stretching every so often.

"Backache?"

She nodded, rolling her eyes as she rubbed her belly ruefully. "I hear they get worse."

"Alice gets them pretty bad," he said, his voice full of sympathy. He slid backward, deeper into her couch, and spread his legs. "Come here."

She thought about protesting, but the idea of a massage on her aching muscles was just too good to pass up. Bella stood and quickly readjusted herself in front of him.

As his fingers worked along her spine, he finally asked the first of many questions they'd been putting off. "Bella... why didn't you want a relationship?" he asked quietly. "Was it a bad experience?"

For a long moment, Bella didn't speak, instead letting her body relax in time with his kneading fingers. "I saw a movie once where two little girls watched their aunts performing magic. A woman comes to the aunts and the girls watched as the woman stabbed a dove through the heart in order to make the man she wants, want her. And one of them was horrified, chanting over and over again 'I never want to fall in love, I never want to fall in love' while the other was awestruck by the … absolute power of the emotion. And she couldn't wait to fall in love."

"I suppose I can guess who you sided with" he said, chuckling as his hands moved further up her back.

"I didn't have a bad experience, and it's not that I fear love. I just... I've never wanted it." She sighed, rolling her neck to the side as Edward worked his hands up her back. She tried to think of another way to put it. "There's so much worth doing in this world that you'll never do. If you were to talk to someone who trained for the Olympics, you know that they worked their ass off to get there. And you know that when they win the gold, it must be the most amazing feeling in the world. But are you ever going to do it yourself?"

"Probably not," Edward admitted.

"That's what I feel about relationships. They're worth all the bullshit and the pain. Completely. I just choose to do other things that are also worth it," she finished. Then she laughed dryly. "Maybe it sounds crazy."

"It doesn't sound crazy," Edward assured.

"Most people think it sounds crazy - the idea of a life without love."

"Most people can't imagine not wanting to be with someone. It's how we're raised. Every book, every cartoon, every movie... everyone around us tells us that's the path we're supposed to follow," he said thoughtfully. "I don't think it's choosing a life without love... I just think it's choosing a life without  _that_ complication. You, for instance, are well loved; that I can see."

"I am," Bella agreed.

Edward sighed then, and drew her back against him, wrapping his arms around her waist and putting his hands over her belly. He was so lost and muddled as to what he wanted. He not only understood where Bella was coming from but agreed with her to an extent. He had not, as she had, taken himself out of the game, but he didn't find relationships a necessity in life. He was open to the prospect, but he was - as his brother never hesitated to tell him - a persnickety bastard about more than just food.

Among other things, he realized that between two people, no matter how amazing they were together or separately, they could still do considerable damage to a child. He knew that love frequently led to marriage and/or children, neither of which he was prone to want. Both seemed complicated and easy to screw up. And while he was a family man at heart - adoring his nieces and willing to do pretty much anything for his brother and sister - he was content to be a part of their family without needing to build his own.

All of that was still logically sound in his head. It was, of course, easy for Edward to understand why he was so out of sorts with the whole issue of the baby. That was obvious. What was harder for him to wrap his head around was the emotion that changed in him so suddenly the day before.

It should have been such a simple thing. Bella had done no more than given him a wonderful gift on his birthday. It had just struck him then. This woman who had only recently been such a stranger knew him. The women he'd dated, when they gave him gifts, gave him mere trinkets. Most, if anything, forced their view of who he should be on him, gifting him with things like watches - which he didn't wear - and cologne that was not his style. But Bella's gift not only suited him, it also would likely benefit him.

"Edward?" her soft voice interrupted his ruminating.

"Yes?"

"It's one thing not to look for something. I think that's a valid choice. But when something," she was obviously struggling, "special just happens... I think it'd be … a little cowardly to not try to figure it out. Fuck," she said, sounding frustrated. "I don't know how to do this."

Edward was silent as he tried to process her words. He reached up, guiding her head back onto his shoulder so he could look at her. Her eyes were nervous as they finally met his. She was so out of her depth. He leaned down, kissing her sweetly. "We have so many other questions," he worried out loud, against her lips.

"I know," she said, kissing him back. "It's too much to deal with all at once." They kissed again. "We're not going to figure out anything if we don't take it one step at a time."

"Starting with... us?"

Bella rubbed one hand over her bump. "I think that makes the most sense."  _While we have time_ , she left unsaid.

"Rules?" he asked quietly.

She smirked at him. "Rules are not conducive to problem solving."

He pretended to look hurt. "Are you calling me a problem?"

"If the shoe fits," she volleyed back. Then a serious look came over her features. "I think it's probably best if we keep this to ourselves, though."

~0~

"You are so wiggly today," Edward commented.

It was Tuesday and they were waiting to be called back for Bella's second ultrasound. Since their talk the previous Sunday, much had been different. They may have been reading out of completely different books, but on the issue of where they stood with each other, they were on the same page. It was, at least, a little more clarity than they'd had only a few days previous.

And while Edward was far from sure what he felt when it came to the baby, their interactions at the doctor's office were no longer uncomfortable and stilted. He still didn't feel a connection to the baby - a fact that worried him greatly when he dwelt on it - but he did feel a connection to Bella. He cared for her, and this was her child. He found, in that, some excitement in what they might find out that day.

Bella, oblivious to his inner monologue, glared at him indignantly. "You do realize how this all works, right?" she asked. "It's pregnant woman torture, essentially. You have to drink all this water, and then they press down with that wand thingy - because I'm not this close to peeing my pants as it is, right?"

Edward found the best course of action was to rub her shoulders soothingly while trying not to smile at her outburst. Luckily, they were called back then.

"Well," the technician said as they all concentrated on the screen, "Do we want to know the sex?"

"Yes," Edward and Bella answered together. They glanced at each other with small smiles. Edward squeezed her hand, rubbing his thumb over her fingers.

The technician smiled at them. "I foresee a lot of pink in your future."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dear tellingmelies - bitch, you think I don't read my A/N's for clarity before I send them? You're lucky I flove you.
> 
> I'm going to end up owing my soul to TwilightMundi. Jadedandboring's miniest is in the hospital (please keep them in your thoughts – he's doing fine, but ya know that's trying for his poor parents), and josieswan has the never ending illness. TM saved my life with her betaing.
> 
> I am very sorry I didn't get to all of your lovely, lovely, amazing, reviews. I was a little overwhelmed! I know I say this a lot but I'll try to be better with this chappy. Maybe even with a little tease for next!
> 
> So! Did you find out the sex of your baby ahead of time? Were you happy?


	12. Sugar, Spice and Salmon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My lovely readers: I have been under the influence of the flu for WEEKS now and it tried to make a reemergence. I'm sorry about not replying to your reviews – I do love them so – but I figured you'd prefer the chapter sooner. Yes?
> 
> Disclaimer: Not my characters, as much as I want them to be.

"So what did Charlie say?" Jasper asked when he was done doing his it's-a-girl happy dance. Bella rolled her eyes, knowing that her daughter would have no shortage of punk-rock outfits. She counted her blessings that at least she could count on Jasper to stay away from frilly and lacy.

"Charlie said he was taking her fishing the minute she could hold a pole, and that if she's anything like me, she'll love every minute."

"You hate fishing," Jasper said, confused.

"Exactly. Charlie is hoping she'll defy her parentage in his favor," Bella smiled indulgently. She was still relieved that her father was so looking forward to being a grandpa. He'd already hinted around that he'd totally be up for baby-sitting when she went back to work.

These days though, Bella didn't plan that far ahead. Ever since she had accepted that Edward was a part of her child's life, all of her carefully laid plans had gone out the window. Then - because, apparently, uncomplicated was just too mundane - she and Edward had discovered that once they weren't antagonizing each other, they really liked each other.

A lot.

Bella supposed then that she could see the conventional wisdom behind the idea that a couple, if that's what they were, should really know each other before they had a baby. The difference between Bella and Edward and those other couples was that they had a very narrow window. At twenty weeks, Bella was halfway through her pregnancy.

Twenty weeks seemed at once way too far away and heart-pounding, breath-caught-in-throat close. She was still as eager as ever to meet her daughter - wondering endlessly what combination of features she had inherited. Not to mention, Bella was the type of person that once she decided something, she was eager to get to it. She'd been ready for her baby to be here since the minute she'd decided she wanted to be a mother.

But then, there was Edward throwing yet another kink in her master plan. She had decided she liked being single and had no wish to commit herself to a relationship. Though he unquestionably had the worst timing imaginable, Edward was slowly making her reconsider her plans. It was frightening and exhilarating all at once.

"And Renee?" Jasper's voice cut into her thoughts, and Bella was able to breathe again.

"You know Renee. She's had this image in her head since she moved to Florida about dressing up a little girl in Disney Princess dresses." Bella shook her head ruefully. "I'm sure she's already gone out and bought them from age 1 to 14."

"Peter dressed up as Aladdin for me one night. It was hot," Jasper said conversationally.

Bella screwed her face up. "Hey. You do not desecrate the Disney innocence in front of my daughter. She can hear you know," she protested, cradling her belly protectively in her hands.

Covering a chortle with his hand, Jasper leaned back in his chair, propping his feet up on his desk as he scrolled through the scripts he was reviewing. Though  _Friday Night Delayed_  was on summer hiatus, Jasper still had plenty to do. Today he was looking for new writers, and Bella was keeping him company, doing her paperwork from her laptop on the couch.

"And Edward? How's he taking it? Some guys think that they want a boy, but little girls just end up wrapping their daddies around their fingers," he grinned.

"Edward..." Bella sighed, frowning at the automatic disorientation she felt when she tried to connect Edward with the baby.

Doubtless, alerted by the shift in the tone of her voice, Jasper glanced up. "Is he not happy?"

Looking down at her computer screen studiously, Bella tried to find the right words. "He wasn't unhappy. I don't really know how he feels about it. We didn't talk about it."

At this Jasper turned around, putting his feet on the ground and leaning forward. "I thought you two were getting along. In fact, Alice thought that maybe Edward has a bit of a crush on you," his tone at the end turned sing-song.

Ever dependable, Bella's blush gave her away. "Even if he did," she deflected, "what would it matter? Wouldn't that make things even more complicated than they already are?"

He reached out, affectionately tapping her chin. "Give him a break, Bella. Even if you are off the romantic market, it doesn't mean that these guys can't see what they're missing. There are worse things than your baby daddy having a little school boy crush on you."

Bella hardly had time to dwell on the relief she felt that Jasper hadn't read into her own attraction. At that moment, they were distracted by a familiar clack, clack, clacking on the tile floors outside the office. The sound was so ominous, bringing with it trepidation not unlike when your doctor was about to stab you with a sharp needle. "Ah, hell," Bella muttered.

The next moment the devil, in all her curly, red-headed glory, appeared in the doorway. "Swan! What the hell is the matter with you?"

Searching her brain to figure out what Victoria could be talking about, Bella came up blank. "Ma'am?"

"Don't ma'am me. Why the hell is your phone off?" Victoria demanded.

Bella automatically reached for the phone she always kept in her right hand pocket. She pursed her lips as she stared at the blank screen. "I must have forgotten to charge it," she admitted. Somehow she didn't think that her boss would be amused with the 'baby's eating my brain cells' excuse, as true as it seemed at times.

Casting an apologetic smile at Jasper - and holding back a giggle when she saw he was miming taking Victoria out with a shotgun - Bella scampered off behind her boss, pretending to listen as she yelled.

~0~

The night before they were set to go to Query found Bella at Jacob and Lizzie's place.

It had always been a relief to Bella that her two best friends had fallen in with such wonderful significant others. As they'd dated, Jasper and Jacob had rolled their eyes at the way she worried and nit picked over their various girlfriends and boyfriends. When they'd ultimately settled down with Peter and Lizzie respectively, Bella couldn't have been more pleased.

Apparently, they knew how to do things the uncomplicated way.

That evening, Bella found herself watching the couple. While she'd always found their easy affection beautiful, she'd never thought of it as something she wanted. Growing up, both her parents had been single. They'd never lacked for people to talk to. With Charlie, there had been an endless stream of friends bringing over their catch for the day and settling down over the latest game and Vitamin R. Renee's home had never been lacking for interesting people and intriguing conversation. Even when they were alone, both Renee and Charlie seemed to enjoy their daughter's company, conversing with her as naturally as if she was a fellow adult. Even though Renee had eventually married again, her parents had never seemed lonely or lacking just because they had no partner.

So while she found other people's couplehood made her smile, it was not something she was jealous of.

Now, though, as the evening progressed, she found herself dealing with an unfamiliar longing. Everything with Edward burned hot and unsettled her as much as it exhilarated her. Jacob and Lizzie seemed like they were cozy around the fire instead of standing, burning, in it. And for the first time in her life, she found she had an unbidden yearning for … this.

She pushed all this away when Lizzie's cell phone rang and she excused herself to take the call. Bella waited until the other woman was out of earshot before she turned to Jacob, relieved to have finally gotten him alone. "Jake?"

Jacob didn't tear his eyes away from the television set at first. "What's up?"

"Listen, about tomorrow night... Edward is going to be there, and I need you to promise you're going to at least be civil to him."

That got Jacob's attention. He turned to her, his too-long, black hair falling in his face as he did. "Edward's going to be there?"

"And his editor," Bella confirmed, narrowing her eyes warningly at him.

If he saw the warning, he chose to ignore it. "How did that happen? This is supposed to be a private dinner. The soft opening is next week."

"I asked Quil and Embry to do me a favor," Bella said defensively. "They like Edward's stuff, and it was his birthday."

Jacob studied her intently, his eyebrows scrunched with the intensity of his scrutiny. "You did fuck him, didn't you?"

Bella winced, the words sounding ugly the way her friend spat them. "Jesus, Jacob. Don't be so crass."

He cocked his head, his eyes widening slightly. "Wow. You fucked him,  _and_ you like him now. Fuck, Bella... only you."

"You told me to fuck him," Bella protested, crossing her arms and feeling ridiculous for feeling like a child being scolded.

"Exactly. Fuck him. It was obvious you needed some... relief from all the stress, and you two had plenty of tension to work out." He shrugged. "Who else was going to do it? In your condition you'd probably attract a bunch of creepy fetishists."

"Look," Bella said through clenched teeth, needing to get off this topic before she punched her best friend in the face, "Can you just please be cool about this?"

Jacob seemed incredulous. "You want me to be cool? This isn't cool. What are you thinking? This side of a few months ago, the guy didn't want to be a daddy. Now he suddenly has you wrapped around his finger?"

"Oh for fucks sake. It's not like that," Bella said, exasperated. "Honestly, it's none of your business what's going on between us. I'm a big girl, Jacob. Anyway, it doesn't matter. All I'm asking is that you be civil. I know you're not his biggest fan."

"You weren't either," he reminded.

The door to their bedroom opened, and Lizzie was on her way back then. Bella dropped her tone. "Just promise me you're going to be civil. And no one knows … about us. Please just keep it to yourself."

Jacob stared hard at her, but eventually he nodded his acquiescence.

~0~

Somehow, Edward couldn't find it in him to be surprised when his doorbell rang a couple of hours before he had to be at Query. He was even less surprised to be confronted by the sight of his sister-in-law - the little one - smiling sweetly. "Hello, Alice," he greeted with a resigned expression on his face.

"So," Alice began, traipsing into his entryway as she spoke, "I was talking to Bella the other day-"

"Alice," he cut her off, admonishing. "Don't bother Bella."

The raven haired little beauty gave him an indignant look. "I don't  _bother_ Bella. We're friends now." She grinned and patted her burgeoning belly. "We have a lot in common after all." She plopped herself down on the couch, making herself comfortable. "Anyway, as I was saying. I was talking to Bella the other day, and she happened to mention how she had a dinner party to go to tonight. And then, imagine my surprise when I see your Facebook status that says you're really excited about dinner tonight."

"I'm frequently excited about dinner. I do dinner for a living," he evaded.

She looked at him with a quirked eyebrow until he gave in. "Fine. It was a birthday gift. She got me into an advanced opening of a new restaurant with a lot of buzz. It's not what you're thinking - there will be other people there."

"I didn't say I was thinking anything, dear Edward," she said, looking entirely too triumphant. "So tell me the truth."

Sitting on the opposite couch, Edward grumbled and put his hands over his face. "Alice, you have to keep this to yourself."

"Things  _have_ changed between you."

"Yes."

"I knew it! I could see it at the party," she enthused.

Lifting one hand to look at her, Edward asked warily, "What do you mean?"

"Don't worry. I don't think it was obvious to anyone else. It's just the way you moved. You were always aware of each other. And when you left for a minute, when you came back she smiled." Alice's own smile was small as she remembered. "I don't know. You felt like lovers."

"Lovers," Edward mumbled to himself, trying the word on for size. He didn't know if it fit. He didn't know how to define them yet. He didn't know how he  _wanted_ to define them. He did know, however, that the idea that Bella was as aware of him as he always was of her gave him great pleasure.

"Don't fight it, Edward."

"I'm not fighting it," he said quietly. Then he laughed, smiling in spite of himself. "I couldn't fight it if I tried. The woman has too much power over me. I think about her almost every minute I'm not with her. When I am with her, I can't keep my hands off her."

"You're falling for her," Alice said knowingly.

He looked up, nerves and the ever-present disorientation that he had stepped out of his life and into a world that made absolutely no sense clouding his momentary giddiness. "Am I?" he asked, sounding much more like a little boy than the grown, confident man he was.

Not waiting for her to answer, he ran a hand over his face again, considering. "Are you sure that's a good thing? Given the circumstances? Figuring out if you're supposed to be with a person is complicated enough without... everything else."

By herself, Bella would have turned his life upside down with her mere presence. He was more enraptured by her with every day they spent together. She was funny, talented, kind and able to hold his attention in a way no other woman had. Alone, Bella would have made him confused, but that good kind of confusion that came with the happiness he'd found in waking up beside her, or hearing her laugh.

But Bella wasn't by herself, and that was what sent Edward into a tailspin whenever he tried to reconcile what he felt for Bella with any thoughts of impending fatherhood.

Edward was well aware that his family was being extraordinarily patient with him. He hadn't missed the glances they exchanged when one of them asked about Bella and the baby only to receive an, "Everything's fine," from him with no other explanation offered. How many times had Esme innocently regaled him with stories of his own babyhood, trying to draw him into discussion?

When Edward thought about the baby as Bella's, it was easy to be happy for her. One way or another, she was a woman he cared deeply for, and he could feel excitement because this was a momentous event in her life. But when he thought about the baby in terms of his own life, it felt like he was wearing clothes that were one size too small.

The more time passed, the more real the baby became. At the first ultrasound she'd gone from being a concept to actually existing in his mind. Then, as he watched Bella's stomach grow, and as she'd let him be more a part of the pregnancy, the imminent arrival of the little person grew more undeniable. Now she had a fairly definite gender.

His daughter.

No matter how he tried, he could not get those words to feel like they belonged to him. The idea of being responsible for molding a human life was still terrifying to him. When it came to the baby, he'd known from the beginning that he couldn't walk away, and yet he found himself utterly unable to walk forward.

He'd never been more conflicted in his life.

Alice sighed, standing and crossing to him. "You worry too much," she muttered, sitting beside him and rubbing his shoulder. "Look. Here's the bottom line. You absolutely cannot help what you feel, and I do believe that some things are simply meant to happen. The fact of life is that it will not happen at your convenience. Denying what you  _know_ you feel isn't going to help you one way or another."

She looked at him thoughtfully before continuing. "I know you're scared about the baby, Edward. I know it isn't what you wanted. But... maybe the fact that you feel something for Bella will actually help you. I didn't want kids before Rose, but after we were together... I don't know. It was just different. I can't remember, anymore, what it was like not to want a family with her."

Edward wasn't sure that he was comforted by her words, but he did find a little peace in the knowledge that he and Bella had an ally. One of the reasons Edward had so readily agreed to keeping their as of yet undefined relationship a secret was that he could imagine his family's reaction. His father would be worried, telling him there was so much they had to untangle without adding more string to the mess. His mother would be of little help, probably telling him it would all work out, somehow. Emmett was a toss up. He'd either laugh at him for managing to take the longest, most circuitous road through life imaginable, or he'd call him an idiot. Tanya would come at it with logic, like she always did, and there was nothing about this situation that could be called logical. And Rosalie...

Well, that wouldn't be pretty.

"Why are you taking care of me anyway?" Edward asked softly. His sister was a mixed blessing of pain in the ass and kindred spirit, but he'd always thank her for bringing Alice into the family.

"Because your sister is doing a piss poor job of it," Alice answered matter-of-factly. Then she looked somewhat contrite. "She's coming along. You and she are just so alike - neither of you are as confident as you seem. She's struggling with this whole situation almost as much as you are."

"You're the one whose pregnancy got hijacked. It should be us comforting you."

Alice rolled her eyes, making a dismissive pffft noise. "No need. I'm Zen. Look, Edward, none of us has the power to control life. There are more variables than any of us can possibly come up with. The difference between me and you and Rose is that I don't have regrets. Because I don't live with regret, I don't agonize over my every decision. I do the best I can. If I make a mistake - and I do, everyone does - I pick myself up and learn from it, but I never regret it."

As Edward considered this, Alice hauled herself to her feet again, tugging on his arm. "Now come on. I'll help you find something sexy to wear tonight."

"What's wrong with what I have on?" Edward protested.

"Oh, lord. Just come on. It never hurts to increase your chance of getting some."

"I'm pretty sure the 'getting some' thing is going to happen anyway," he muttered to himself, smiling again and getting up anyway. He knew there was no use fighting Alice.

~0~

As planned, Edward met up with Mike outside the restaurant. Mike was so excited he was nearly giddy with it.

"I still can't believe your girl got us into this. The only thing that could possibly be better is if she could get us on a movie set with Scarlett Johansen." He was nearly bouncing.

Edward was stuck on the 'your girl' bit. He nearly face-palmed, remembering belatedly that he'd told Mike a little about him and Bella.

Very little.

"Listen, Mike...about the whole 'my girl' thing. We're not really out in the open yet," he explained, hoping his editor wouldn't ask too many questions.

To his surprise Mike nodded sagely. "Ah, yes. Yeah, I gotcha man. You wanna keep it on the DL for the time being. I'm with you."

Edward resisted the urge to roll his eyes. But he was easily distracted, already looking and listening for Bella.

He heard her before he saw her, knowing her voice anywhere. He saw her just as she looked up at him. Her face broke into a wonderful grin, and Edward's heart began to beat faster. "You're here," she said, and the happiness in her voice gave him a sense of contentment he'd never felt before. It was all he could do not to go to her and sweep her into his arms for a kiss and then some. Luckily, he remembered quickly that they weren't alone, and merely smiled back at her.

Of course, Edward had forgotten one tiny detail. Because he had never known Bella when she wasn't pregnant, it didn't occur to him to think of it as abnormal. Not wanting to get into the whole mess when they spoke, Edward had only told Mike that he'd started seeing Bella a few weeks ago. He remembered all of this when Mike's eyes nearly bulged out of his head at the sight of Bella's obviously-more-than-three-weeks pregnant belly.

Clearing his throat and hoping to distract Mike, Edward started introductions. "This is my editor, Mike Newton."

Luckily, Bella hardly seemed to notice Mike before Edward called attention to him, and so she missed his rude stare entirely. "It's good to meet you," she said pleasantly, shaking his hand. She pointed to a tall, tan man with longish black hair and a look that bordered on a glower. "This is the best friend you haven't met, Jacob Black."

When he stuck his hand out to Jacob, Edward was surprised to find himself in the aggressive, alpha male hand squeeze of death. His eyes narrowed slightly, and he automatically wondered if Jacob was competition. It didn't escape his notice that Bella leveled a subtle glare at the man before Jacob released his hand.

"And this is Jacob's remarkably patient girlfriend, Lizzie Riley," she said, introducing the red-gold haired, pretty woman standing next to Jacob.

Not a rival then. But then again, Lizzie was possessed of eyes the color of cinnamon - very similar to Bella. Edward couldn't help but wonder if there was more of a history there than Bella was letting on.

Edward tried to push that aside as the rest of the introductions were made. The rest of the party consisted of Leah Clearwater - a beautiful woman whose eyes seemed permanently narrowed, Quil and Embry Ateara - cousins and co-owners of the establishment who had grown up with Jacob, and Claire Ataera - Quil's young and bubbly wife.

Query was a nerd's perfect date place. First, the tables were interactive. Edward had often lamented that fantasy did not match with reality when he saw movies set in the future where drink and meal choices flashed by, and you could operate a screen with just a few touches of your finger. Quil and Embry had brought that fantasy to life. The menus showed a list of ingredients when you clicked on a dish and offered a suggestion box where you could answer a few key question and be presented with a dish that might suit your tastes if you couldn't decide for yourself.

When they had ordered the menus faded away to a variety of game options. The games were separated into a variety of categories. Some were conversation starters. Others were games where the whole table could play at once.

The food itself was heavily influenced by the Pacific Northwest - meaning there was a lot of salmon and shellfish on the menu. They had gotten creative though, and Edward found himself enjoying the smoked salmon spring rolls the menu had suggested for him.

After a dessert of blackberry pie and apple candy, Quil and Embry led them to a different section of the restaurant. This was a bar area where one wall was taken up by a huge screen. To the right of the screen was a blackboard. The idea seemed to be a bar-wide drinking game. There would always be a movie playing - comic book movies, Star Wars, Star Trek and the like seeming to be the preference - with rules on the side telling patrons when to take a drink.

The whole establishment was a fabulous idea, and Edward knew it would be tremendously popular as long as they could keep the technology up and running.

Adding the cherry on top of an evening out with great people and amazing food was the fact that though they couldn't touch publicly, he and Bella were always connected in some way. They'd sat across from one another so that throughout most of dinner their feet played innocently. She would let her toes tickle his calves or he would run his foot along hers. When they were at the bar sampling the wide selection of Oregon and Washington brewed beers - Quil and Embry had brought out a bubbly, tasty, sparkling grape juice for Bella - Bella's hand kept brushing his. And even though they spoke with everyone else, their eyes were almost always on each other.

Though he was having a great time overall, Edward wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that he was being scrutinized. Though he didn't try to antagonize him, Edward caught Jacob glowering at him several times through the evening. It happened several times while the group engaged in the typical getting-to-know-you small talk. Since everyone else knew each other, Edward and Mike had been on the receiving end of most of the questions.

And if he wasn't mistaken, Leah had been looking at him with distrust as well, though it was hard to tell with her. The woman didn't smile the entire time they were there - though Mike tried his damndest to make it happen.

As everyone was getting ready to leave, Edward stole a moment with Bella, leaning in as if to hear her better and instead putting his lips near her ear. She beat him to his question. "Come over tonight?" she asked, her voice in his ear sending shivers of anticipation down his spine.

He all but forgot his intentions to ask her about Jacob when he got her alone, thinking only about how and where he wanted to taste her. Quil and Embry had served a delicious meal, but he was dead certain that no food could be quite as delectable as Bella's skin. He fully intended on being a connoisseur of all her flavors some day.

Edward was still caught up in his fantasies as he hurried toward his car. He'd all but forgotten about his editor when Mike came up beside him.

"So..." Mike began, and instantly Edward tensed. "Your girl is... up the spout, as they say in England."

"So it would appear," Edward said dryly, offering no more explanation than that.

Mike laughed. "You're a better man than I, my friend."

"Why is that?"

"It's one thing if you date a chick who has a kid. But your chick being pregnant with another man's kid is just something that would freak me the hell out. It's like... you're both inside her at the same time," he shuddered.

Edward's mouth opened but no matter how he tried, he couldn't make himself say the words in his head.

_It's my baby._

Instead he rolled his eyes at Mike. "You're so classy you could give Fred Astaire a run for his money."

Mike just snickered. "So...what are the odds you could get Bella to hook me up with that Leah chick? She was smoking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh dear, oh dear.
> 
> Thanks are in order to Twilightmundi for beta work.
> 
> So. Food aversions? I was preggo for five minutes once and nearly vomited at the taste of McDonalds hamburger buns. Omai. That was odd.


	13. Family and Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yet again I must beg your forgiveness for the review reply situation. More on that at the bottom. Read on, read on.
> 
> Disclaimer: Not my characters, as much as I want them to be.

Despite the fact he had just seen her not twenty minutes before at the restaurant, Edward still found that he'd missed Bella, and when she opened her door to admit him he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "Hey, beautiful," he said, stepping forward to cradle her face in his hands. He kissed her then, his hands on her waist.

In the short time they'd been separated, Bella had changed. When his hands encountered satin he held her at arms length, really taking her in. She was now wearing a gray, satin camisole that covered her bump and fell just past her waist. Matching gray panties peeked out from underneath the camisole. "Jesus Christ. Look at you," he wrapped his arms around her again, kissing her hungrily as he backed her into the room, away from the door. "Do you open the door to just anyone looking like that, naughty girl?"

She laughed, her hands running up and into his hair as she kissed him back. "I don't worry too much. I think I'd repulse just about anyone but you right now."

Again he stopped kissing her, holding her at arm's length. "Are you being serious?"

Blinking with an uncertain look in her eyes, she smiled slightly, trying to make a joke of it. "Not a lot of guys are into the expanding blimp look."

"Come here," he said, tugging her hand and leading her to the couch. He draped one arm around her shoulders, twirling a strand of her hair around and around. The other hand he placed on her belly, long fingers splayed wide. "You are beautiful. This is beautiful," he murmured against her ear with complete sincerity. Whatever his personal issues were with the baby, Edward had always found pregnancy to be a gorgeous thing. Women were all about curves, and feeling the taut skin of her belly underneath his hands when he was with her drove him as crazy as cupping her full breasts.

Bella tilted her head up so that he had to speak between kisses. Her soft hands on his neck felt so good, and he couldn't wait to be skin to skin with her. "Do you understand how sexy you are to me?" He drew his hand up her body. "Sensuous." He brushed her breasts with the back of his hand. "Provocative."

His movements and his words were eliciting tiny whimpers from Bella. She shifted, her body curling more onto his. She was almost on his lap now.

"It was so hard to keep my hands off you tonight," he growled against her lips. "It's always hard not to touch you."

This time she was the one to stop their kisses. With her hands on his chest, she pushed back slightly. "You understand, right? Why I need it to be just between us right now?" He was shocked at the sudden worry in her voice and the way her eyes pleaded with him. "I mean... I'm trying. I don't know how to do this." She gestured around them, looking uncharacteristically helpless.

All at once Edward was confused and guilty. He felt like an idiot for not realizing that Bella was struggling. Of course she would be. She'd never been in a relationship - in fact, had planned on never being in one - let alone one as charged as theirs was. He realized he'd done nothing to reassure her.

Of course, all of that was hard to think about when she was all but sitting on his lap dressed in satiny underthings.

"Okay," Edward said softly, trying to reorient himself. "Um. If we're going to have this conversation, I need to..." He looked around, thankful when he spotted a knit blanket folded over the arm of the couch. Shaking it out, he draped it over her legs, tucking it up her torso slightly. He simpered at her. "There."

"I'm sorry." She grabbed his hand, threading their fingers together. "Please don't think I'm trying to be a cocktease. I'm just-"

"Bella. We are horrible at talking about … anything. Truly horrible." They both chuckled. "And while the sex is... fucking fantastic... you're worth more to me than that. I … want more than that with you. Just... do me a favor and refrain from any permutations of the word cock?"

She giggled, laying her head on his shoulder, and they talked. They both knew they were in over their heads, but the same could be said for many couples. Edward soothed Bella's nerves about her lack of experience by reminding her that most of his relationships had been barely more than casual - nothing serious.

"Are we serious?" she asked.

He traced the lines of her face with a finger. "This feels serious. More."

"More?" she echoed, confused.

"More," he repeated. "You're more than any of them. More passionate. When I'm not with you, I think of you more than I've ever thought of anyone else." He grinned at her, pressing her nose playfully. "You're definitely more of a challenge."

She smiled and put her head back down on his shoulder. "As if you're not a pain in the ass."

He chuckled, winding his fingers through her hair as he thought. "Bella, I know better than to promise you that we'll work. We really haven't known each other for very long. Right now, I enjoy every minute we're together, and I miss you when we're not."

"No one can promise that won't change," she murmured, sounding sad at the thought.

He tilted her head up with gentle fingers so he could look her in the eyes. "We don't have to define ourselves by anyone else's standards. Not one relationship is like another. Just don't be hard on yourself." He smiled at her, letting the adoration he felt for her color his features. "I'm just as far out of my depth here as you are."

She stretched then, so she could kiss him. Edward moved his hands to the small of her back, pressing her against him. "Thank you. It feels good to talk," she said, pressing fluttering kisses to his cheek, tracing the line of his jaw. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

Edward's breath hitched for a moment, and he felt guilty. She was being honest with him about her fears, but his own caught in his throat. He wanted to tell her, wanted to discuss the absolute terror he felt that he was about to be a father when he didn't know if he could be everything a baby deserved.

He wanted to believe that if they talked about it, Bella would be able to quiet his fears and make him feel better the way he had done for her. But given their history, he just couldn't see that happening. It was far more likely that she would freak out.

Simply not ready to lose this new found closeness to her, Edward blurted the question that had been on his mind all night. "Is there more of a … history between you and Jacob?"

She stiffened in his arms and raised her head. "What?"

"I'm sorry. It's just the way he was looking at me tonight. Him and Leah both, actually, though less so with her. I got a very distinct 'back off' vibe." He shrugged, trying to downplay the incident. "It's a guy thing."

"A guy thing?" she seemed amused, and Edward allowed himself to relax. For a second he thought he was in trouble. "There's no romantic history between us, if that's what you're asking. Not really."

"Not really?"

"Well..." she trailed off.

"Well?" he repeated, trying not to sound as interested as he was. She smirked at him. "It was high school. I felt...abnormal for not having a crush on every other boy like my classmates did. Jacob thought he felt something because I was a girl, and I could actually stand to listen to him blather about car parts." She tilted her head, almost wistful. "It felt weird though - when we kissed. Like kissing a cousin...or a brother. So we stopped trying pretty quickly.

"Anyway. Jacob is just protective." She brushed his chin thoughtfully with the pad of her thumb. "He knows you're in a position to hurt me, and he doesn't trust you."

He kissed her thumb as she swiped it across his lips. "Do you trust me?"

Her eyes were slightly hesitant as they met his. "I trust that you don't want to hurt me. That you won't..." She smiled slightly, tilting her head. "It's like you said before. You can't promise what tomorrow will bring for either of us."

He sighed, wishing he could deny her words. But he knew that wasn't the reality of the world. His parents were still desperately in love with each other after over three decades of marriage, and they'd hurt each other horribly over the years. The same could be said for Emmett and Tanya, Rosalie and Alice. And even as much as he loved his siblings, they'd hurt each other as well. Caring about someone was equivalent to giving them power to hurt you and, being human, it was almost certain to happen at some point.

"Such a realist," he said, kissing her softly.

She kissed him back, smiling as she did. "I'm beginning to find that it's good to give in to the giggling, giddy school girl within occasionally."

"Occasionally," he agreed. "And what about Leah? You never talked about her being a friend of yours, but she was giving me some...looks."

"Oh, Leah," Bella said, her eyebrows knitting together. She looked sad, and he automatically wanted to make her feel better. "She just... she had an awful experience with artificial insemination. Long story short, she lost her husband and son to her cousin."

"That's horrible," he said.

"Yeah. She's very jaded. She knows how we...uh...met." Bella blushed, but Edward merely looked at her steadily. "I think she's just wary of you. That's all."

They talked for a little while after that, about clumsy first times and other such things. Bella was particularly amused to find out that Tanya had initially been attracted to Edward before Emmett had captured her attention.

After an hour or so of quiet talking, cuddling together on the couch, Edward became aware of Bella's breath in his ear. She wasn't breathing in a sexy way, but evenly, and when he looked, her eyes were closed in sleep.

He took a moment just to watch her. She was, he realized, precious to him. Was it really just a few months before that he'd been entirely happy with his life alone? She seemed...essential to him now.

For a handful of moments, he considered simply putting his arms around her and falling asleep just like this - like they were an established couple and falling asleep together on the couch was something that happened frequently. But he knew it was probably bad for her back, and he didn't want her to suffer when she already ached.

When he put his arms under her legs, checking to see if she was secure before he lifted her, Bella grumbled and pouted slightly. "Shhh," he murmured to her. "It's time for bed."

"No," she mumbled, her pout deepening. "I want to sleep."

Edward chuckled, lifting her carefully and cradling her against his chest. "You can sleep, sweetheart. I'll carry you."

She mumbled something that must have been an agreement because her arms went around his neck, and she furrowed her head against his chest, settling into his arms easily. He smiled, kissing the top of her head as he moved back toward her bedroom.

As he settled her in the bed, Bella's arms stubbornly clung to his neck, not letting him straighten up. Her eyes fluttered open, bleary and not all the way awake. "Don't leave," she whispered.

He leaned in, brushing her lips with his. "I won't," he promised.

Bella smiled, her eyes already closing again, and released him. Unable to help himself - she looked so beautiful with her hair wild against the white pillow and her face smooth in sleep - Edward stroked the pads of his fingers from her hairline down to her chin. She nuzzled his hand but otherwise didn't stir again.

Stripping down to his boxer shorts and undershirt, Edward climbed into bed, loving the way her body seemed magnetized to his. Even though she seemed to be asleep, she automatically rolled toward him, curling against him with one hand resting on his chest. He put his own hand over hers, just taking in her peaceful face.

In moments like these, he could see a long way into the future. Ridiculous as it sometimes seemed to him - he'd only known Bella for so many months - Edward could see a future with her. He could see cohabitation, and trials, and triumphs, and … as long as you both shall live.

It seemed to him that it was only natural to include a family in that equation. While he could see himself growing old with Bella - something that was odd but not uncomfortable to him - the visions of kids, white picket fences and bikes littering the lawn didn't follow. He stroked her hair, wishing like she had when she was a teenager that he was normal. He held in his arms what so many people longed for - a smart, capable, beautiful woman who adored him and a child on the way. Sure, fate had tossed it at him unexpectedly and out of natural order - and fast enough to make his head spin - but that was the way it was.

Bella mumbled his name in her sleep and provided him with he distraction he so desperately needed if he was going to get any sleep. He let the warm, tender feeling envelop him, basking in the peace he found in the time they could be together, and he finally fell asleep.

**~0~**

Many people didn't like to bring their work home with them. Esme Cullen was not one of those people. It was a rare season that passed without Esme wanting to do some sort of remodel to one of their homes. To that extent, she had enlisted her children - bribing them with the promise of skirt steaks on the barbecue - to come help her strip the old paint off the little, one room office that stood at the back of the house. She was, it seemed, sick of blue. "Besides," she justified, "the price I pay using oil-based paint is that it fades quicker. It's time to repaint."

That was how Edward, Emmett, and Carlisle found themselves out in the hot, July sun, following Esme's instructions to the letter. Alice had opted out, claiming an advanced state of pregnancy. Rosalie had looked at her mother as if she'd suggested that bell bottoms should never have gone out of style. Tanya had begged off by using her daughters as an excuse. "Someone has to watch the children."

So as the Cullen men and Esme worked at stripping the little building of its previous color, Edward mostly thought about Bella. It seemed like the natural progression of his thoughts of late.

When Tanya came out to serve them iced tea, Emmett had pulled her into a sweaty hug. He laughed boisterously as she protested. "It's okay, babe. You don't have to lie. We all know you came out to ogle this." He flexed his free arm, showing off his muscles. "I am all that is man! You like it."

"Ugh," Tanya smirked at her husband, extricating herself from his grasp. "Now I'm going to have to take a shower." She shook her head as she went to Carlisle, offering him a drink. "He had such a good example. What happened?"

Carlisle glanced at his eldest child and then at his wife. "Hey, babe! You dig this sexy body, right?" He flexed for Esme, and Edward struggled to keep in his bark of laughter.

Esme merely raised an eyebrow. "First of all, Babe is a pig. And I don't even sing that well. Secondly," she looked him up and down, then shrugged. "I suppose you'll do." Without so much as a second glance, she wandered around to the other side of the building.

Blinking, in shock, Carlisle shouted after her, "You know you want me. We have three kids!"

"We had three kids over 27 years ago, dear," Esme called back.

Carlisle shook his head at his cackling sons. "I think she just called me old."

The whole exchange had made him miss Bella horribly. He had always been comfortable with his family, despite being the odd man out. Ever since he and Bella had gotten closer, he found himself wishing she was with him the way they were all together. Established.

Glancing around to make sure his father and brother were otherwise occupied, Edward took out his phone. Grinning to himself, he texted a single word to Bella, hoping she would remember the texting game they'd played when they were getting to know each other.

**Turpentine.**

Her reply was almost instant.

_**Didn't you concede defeat on this months ago?** _

**Never!**

_**Turpentine - Brandi Carlile : But these days we go to waste like wine, that turns to turpentine** _

As he tried to remember the song, his phone chimed again.

_**Alternately, Turpentine - Elvis Costello :** _ _**Back when I was drinking turpentine.** _

**Who would drink turpentine?**

_**I know right? They both refer to it in the form of a drink.** _

**The smell of it is driving me to drink.**

She didn't respond immediately and Edward wondered if he was bugging her. Maybe she was in the middle of a project. She'd said she was going to be writing this weekend but what she hadn't told him. Then his phone chimed again.

_**I do have an impressive amount of alcohol at my place. It might be good to get rid of it - you know. Baby-proof the household.** _

Edward didn't realize he was smiling at his cell phone until his mother cleared her throat. He slipped the phone in his pocket, his smile falling and a weird sense of guilt taking its place.

"So, are you seeing someone?" she asked in her best I-swear-I'm-not-snooping voice.

"What makes you ask that?" Edward returned evasively.

His mother snorted. "Edward, you don't smile like that for Mike or any of your other friends." When Edward remained silent, she looked away, inquiring lightly, "Does she know about Bella?"

Sighing heavily, Edward struggled not to glare. "How is she, anyway? Bella I mean," Esme continued.

"She's fine," Edward said in a dismissive tone. He climbed the ladder in front of him, if only to get away from his mother. "And no I'm not seeing anyone. Mike just sent me a risqué message."

He was hoping that the idea of his editor sending him off-color jokes might divert his mother's attention. It didn't even faze her. "Really, Edward," she continued, staring up at him from the base of the ladder, "is something wrong? You used to talk about her all the time, but ever since you've supposedly become friendlier with her, you've just stopped."

He wasn't sure what his mother wanted to hear. He wondered briefly how she would react if he were to tell her the truth. He'd finally agreed to take Bella to his place, and she'd spent four of the last five nights there. She teased him about his collection of John Hughes movies -  _so overrated_ , she'd claimed - praised his collection of Kevin Smith movies -  _Kevin Smith likes John Hughes_ , he'd informed her - and had spent literally hours in his study, staring at his walls in awe.

The walls of his study had nothing on them but words. There were quotes from books he'd read. Lyrics from songs he loved. The words were written with haphazard lettering - some small, some large, creating a mosaic of letters interrupted by one window, one door, two bookshelves and his desk. Most people thought the room was too busy or too weird. Bella thought it was one of the most fantastic things she'd ever seen and only wished she'd thought of it first.

Edward wondered if that's what his mother wanted to know, or if she'd be more interested in the fact he'd taken her bent over his desk because he couldn't wait to be inside her after that.

Fairly certain that no mother would appreciate that story from her son's mouth, Edward opted for a more benign response. "There's nothing to report, Mom. She doesn't fight me anymore. We're getting to know each other. Everything is progressing normally with the pregnancy." He kept his eyes on his work, methodically stripping the paint off the building.

"Well, have you talked about anything? Names? Furniture?" She hesitated. "Living arrangements?"

That stopped Edward's brush. "Isn't it a little early for all that?"

Esme nearly chortled. "Edward, the baby is due in November. I know it's only July, but those months will pass like nothing. Trust me." When Edward didn't answer, Esme took that as permission to continue. "You know, I was thinking. I'm going to throw Alice and Rose a baby shower. Why don't we just combine it? That way you and Bella can get the things you need, and she can get to know us a little better."

"Mom, I'm fairly sure that Bella would hate a baby shower. She doesn't like that kind of attention, and they're just... tacky," he shuddered.

"Hey," Esme protested, smacking his leg lightly. "My parties are never tacky." Seeing that he wasn't going to budge on the matter, Esme rolled her eyes. "At least invite her over again. I want her to feel comfortable with us."

Edward grumbled, his mood worsening by the moment. He knew it was irrational, but it felt so much like he had a dirty little secret he was trying desperately to hide. He hated the guilt and shame that seemed to plague him almost as much as he hated the fear and detachment he couldn't seem to shake.

Still, he grudgingly admitted that while it might be uncomfortable for him, it was better for Bella - and his daughter, he forced himself to think the words - to get to know the family more. Frowning, Edward descended the ladder. Safely on the ground, he pinched the bridge of his nose, deep in thought. "Fine. I'll ask her to come."

Without waiting to see his mother's response, he turned and headed into the house, suddenly needing to be alone.

He passed Emmett on the porch with a contrite looking Katrina on his lap. He was patiently explaining why grasshoppers were not good snacks for little girls. His normally completely restless, impatient-as-hell-brother had all the gentleness and time in the world when it came to his daughters.

In the living room, Alice was stretched out on the couch. Rosalie was on the floor, resting her ear against the swell of her lover's belly, obviously speaking to their son softly. Alice was smiling, running her tiny fingers through Rosalie's gold locks.

As he headed toward the stairs, Edward tried to imagine himself like that. While his sister and Alice looked beautiful together, he couldn't imagine holding a conversation with someone's stomach. Even thinking about it felt awkward to him. What was he supposed to say?

Throwing himself down on the bed, Edward allowed for a few moments of wallowing. For the first time in his life, Edward felt... wrong. He should be able to feel something for his … daughter - again he forced himself to think the term. How many times had he watched his little nieces kiss his brother saying, "Love you, Daddy," in little girl voices. It made him smile every time, and yet he had never stopped to imagine himself in Emmett's place.

A light knock on his door distracted him, and Edward swallowed a groan. "Come in," he called. As he expected, his father appeared in the doorway. He waited until Carlisle sat down to speak. "Mom sent you, didn't she?"

"She might have mentioned you seemed a little … uptight earlier," Carlisle responded mildly.

"I'm fine," Edward said flatly.

Carlisle was silent for long moments. "You know we're here to support you, Edward. Having a child is overwhelming under the best of circumstances, and that's certainly not the hand you were dealt. It's okay to just need to talk to someone."

Edward had to force himself not to snap at his father. There were times when he appreciated Carlisle's capacity to analyze and reason with compassion and without judgment. However, it had been a pain in the ass feeling psychoanalyzed as a teenager, and it wasn't any less so now.

He had to admit that he couldn't have asked for a better set of parents. They made mistakes - all parents did - but Carlisle and Esme had always done their best. How was he supposed to tell his father - the man he admired and a nationally known child psychologist to boot - that he couldn't find a paternal bone in his body?

"It's nothing, Dad. I've just got a headache from the fumes, that's all."

Carlisle appeared to consider this. In the end though, he stood and told Edward to get some rest. "You'd better hurry when dinner is ready though," he said easily. "Emmett will use any excuse to snag another steak."

When he was alone again, Edward acknowledged the wisdom in his father's words. He did need to talk to someone, but who?

He wanted his sister. He wanted his twin. She would know what to say. She always did. She would have just the right words to make him snap the fuck out of it. While Edward could take care of himself, and preferred to take care of himself, in most cases, when he absolutely needed advice, it was his twin he leaned on. He had already tried talking to Carlisle and Emmett. While they offered good advice, he wasn't sure practicality was what he needed. Sometimes, he needed someone like Rose to come along and tell him to get his head out of his ass.

Edward threw an arm over his eyes, blocking out the light as he tried to clear his head.

He and Rose were not supposed to go into crisis mode at the same time.

**~0~**

Bella couldn't quite contain her smile when Edward's text confirmed he would come over as soon as he was free to 'rid your place of vile alcoholic influence.' She saw Jacob arc an eyebrow at her and quickly stowed her phone away, giving him a warning look.

As she looked around the living room at her coupled off best friends - Peter and Jasper with their heads bent together in quiet conversation on the couch next to her and Jacob and Lizzie sharing the recliner - she tried to imagine making a perfect circle of six...and a half.

She would have to invest in a loveseat, she decided.

"Hey Bella," Jasper caught her attention. "Now that things are a little bit, ya know, less drama between you and Edward, you should invite him over to hang with us sometimes. Introduce him to the family," he grinned. "Such as it is."

Bella shifted so that she was leaning back against the couch and propped her feet up on Jasper's lap. "That's a good idea," she said quietly, glad at his willingness to incorporate Edward into their group.

"So what's the deal with this guy, Hells Bells?" Peter asked, leaning in conspiratorially. "By all accounts he is delectable, as far from a deadbeat as they come and you  _are_ knocked up with his kid. Am I the only one who sees the obvious here?"

"I  _know_ right?" Lizzie exclaimed. "And for the record, delectable is the understatement of the decade. That man... sizzling, Bella."

"Hi," Jacob said, holding his arms out wide. "Right here. Remember me?"

"Oh, baby," Lizzie soothed, putting her arms around Jacob's neck and pulling herself into his lap. "You're buffer than him. And hotter."

Jasper covered a scoff, turning to mouth to Peter behind his hand. "Buffer? Yes. Hotter? He wishes."

Jacob rolled his eyes at Jasper and Peter. "Anyway," he said loudly. He turned to Bella, his gaze lacking the humor that she was so accustomed to. "I think it's a horrible idea."

Bella glared at him under her eyelashes but otherwise said nothing.

"You really don't have a romantic bone in your body, do you?" Lizzie asked, shaking her head. "Boy, you're lucky you have me. Don't ever forget it."

"What's so romantic about a lab mix up and a complete stranger who insists on playing daddy even when he's not needed?" Jacob challenged.

Lizzie made an exasperated noise. "Come on. Can't you see the... I don't know... sense of destiny behind it? Just the what if? What if our independent little Bella fell for the inadvertent father of her child? Think of all the things that had to go right -"

"You mean wrong," Jacob inserted.

"To get them together," Lizzie continued, ignoring his interruption.

"You've been in Hollywood too long," Jacob said, but he smiled tenderly and kissed her gently.

Lizzie sighed and shrugged, looking back at Bella. "Wouldn't that be something, though? If you ended up falling in love with him?"

The word love seemed to resonate in Bella's mind, and she turned it over and over, wondering if it fit this feeling of elation, tranquility, fear, and exhilaration she felt when she thought of Edward. She wondered if it would explain why he could brighten her day just by being in the same room. A fanciful part of her even wondered if Lizzie could be right; that it was not error, but fate that dictated their lives would be twined.

"Yeah," Bella echoed distractedly. "Wouldn't that be something."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, so - your attention for just a minute. This is probably the last time I'm going to update until after the New Year. I'm writing a Christmas anthology - a series of o/s's in all different pairings and situations - for some of my favorite people in the fandom. I kind of want to have this mostly done by … Christmas. This isn't going to happen, but I definitely want a nice, big hunk taken out of the task by then.
> 
> But, the good news (at least for me) is that after the holidays, I should be able to reply to your reviews like I WANT to. You don't know how much I appreciate each and every one of them. I try to answer questions and the like, but please know that your response is a gift and I do treasure it.
> 
> So until then, Merry Holidays to you. I can't hope you get what you want because that will decrease the chances of Rob and/or Jackson and/or Kristen appearing in MY stocking, but I do hope your days are merry and bright. Have a happy and safe New Year.
> 
> Also - for the curious ones - just so you know, I am not one of those people who can write thirty, forty, fifty chap stories. This story will probably be around 20 chapters. We'll see.
> 
> Thank you to Barburella for being a wonderful prereader and TwilightMundi for being a wonderful beta.
> 
> So - did your baby daddy talk to the belly? How about the baby's siblings? Anyone else?


	14. If You Can't Stand the Heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to everyone who contributed to my very first, 1k review fic. I love your response to this fic. I've tried to be diligent about answering questions. My New Years resolution is to be diligent about responding to all of you. Rest assured that you make my day, always. Mwah.
> 
> Disclaimer: Not my characters, as much as I want them to be.

Bella let out a groan of frustration, leaning both her elbows on her desk and putting her head in her hands. "The air conditioner has to be broken. It's like... Texas in here. When did I move to Texas?" she muttered, mostly to herself. "I can't even concentrate."

Behind her, lounging on the couch as he read, Edward chuckled. "The AC works fine. You're just an oven right now," he said. She looked over her shoulder, and Edward glanced at her from over the top of his book. He smiled and her heart skipped a beat. His reading glasses were driving her to distraction. His lip curled up. "You should take a break, Bella."

It was hard not to give in instantly. There was an insanely attractive man stretched out on her couch. She was wearing a simple dress. It would be so easy to just straddle him right there. She would demand that he leave those glasses on.

But no. That would do very little to take care of her overheating problem. Bella breathed deeply and forced herself to turn back to her computer screen. "No," she sighed. "I need to finish this. Work before play."

There was a shuffle as Edward stood, and then Bella found herself being propelled backward with her chair. "What are you-" she began only to be cut off when Edward swept her up into his arms. Her startled hands went to his neck and she clung to him even as she protested. "Put me down!"

"Nope. Hush you cantankerous beast."

Bella laughed. "Beast," she muttered. "I need to work."

"Just trust me," he said, placing a kiss to her cheek. He laid her carefully on her bed, taking off the slip on shoes she wore. "Now. Stay," he commanded in a stern voice. "Take off your dress. I'll be right back."

"Edward, I don't have time-"

"Trust me," he said again. "Take off your dress. If I have to take it off for you, you'll really be distracted."

Bella glared at him, pretending that his words didn't have an instant effect between her thighs. He smirked as if he knew what she was really thinking, brushed her cheek with the back of his knuckles and then strode out of the room. Bella watched him go, admiring his ass and the way his shirt hugged the musculature of his back.

Shaking off her lust, Bella slipped out of her dress and laid back on the pillows, wondering what Edward had up his sleeve. With the thin material gone, her skin felt slightly cooler. Still, she was uncomfortably warm and it threatened to make her very, very cranky. She closed her eyes, searching for some sort of inner calm to ease her irritation.

When Edward came back into the room she didn't open her eyes, pretending instead to doze. She heard him set something down on the nightstand and felt the bed dip under his weight. Then she gasped when she felt something cold and wet touch her.

Her eyes fluttered open to a beautiful sight. Edward sat on the edge of the bed, one hand supporting himself as he leaned over her, the other extended, a piece of ice held in his graceful fingers. His lips turned up at the very corners, the sunlight making his hair particularly red and though Bella was sad to see he'd put the glasses away, she was glad for the unobstructed view of his eyes.

Bella sighed, letting delicious tingles course through her body as Edward traced the ice around the tops of her breasts. He winked at her, grinning impishly as he pushed the ice into the center of her bra. He left it there and reached back, grabbing another piece of ice from the small bowl he'd brought. This he ran over her lips, then around her mouth. Bella tilted her head back as he traced the line of her jaw to the underside of her chin.

"God," she breathed. "That feels incredible. You have no idea."

"Cooler?" he asked, running the ice along her collarbone, back and forth along her skin.

She nodded, stretching her arms above her languorously. "Getting better by the second."

"Good," he murmured, leaning down to kiss her lips lightly. He moved his hand to the apex of her belly and began making tight circles from her belly button out, out, out.

In a state of near total relaxation, Bella reached up, running her fingers through his hair as though she were stroking a cat. He tilted his head against her hand, looking as content as she felt.

With a third piece of ice, Edward reached the top of Bella's panties and as he drew a line where fabric met skin, she shivered. "Too much?" he asked, his voice low, taking on that heavy quality it often did when he was riled up.

"Come here," she said, tugging lightly at his hair. Obediently, Edward leaned down, kissing her again. "Mmm," she mumbled against his lips. "I think it's just a matter of finding the right balance of hot and cold."

He shifted then, laying on the bed beside her so that his body lined up against hers. His socked feet played with her bare ones. When the ice melted away, he moved his fingers down below the waistband of her panties. She gaped, and she felt his lips curve up into a wicked smile against her skin. "Just trying to be thorough," he rumbled when her eyes met his.

The icy coldness of his fingertips was a stunning contrast to how overheated that particular area of her body was. She arched up slightly against his fingers, her legs spreading to give him better access to her.

"I thought you had work to do," Edward said, but then he was kissing her and his fingers were circling her clit before she could properly think about his words.

Her moan was wanton. What was work? Fuck work. She wanted to stay in that bed forever. She quickly brought her hands up, beginning to unbutton his shirt. "Stop me then," she challenged, kissing his chin and along his jawline - everywhere but his lips.

Edward didn't stop her - even though he knew it meant he'd just have to cool her down all over again. But, after all, that was what cool showers were for.

**~0~**

Between busy schedules and avoidance on both their parts, Edward and Bella put off going back to his parents' house until the second to last week of July. Even then it took Emmett putting up an event on Facebook. Emmett Cullen has invited you to attend the Cullens' Bitchin' Pool Party.

Everything seemed so much more official on Facebook.

Bella felt slightly more at ease knowing Jasper and Peter were invited to this get together.

It wasn't that Bella didn't like the Cullens - far from it. They were warm, funny, amazing people to be around. It was just that being around them was confusing. Because she'd never been in a relationship, she still had residual 'meet the parents' nervousness. Of course, as far as she knew, Edward's family was none the wiser about their relationship. So while she felt closer to them than merely being the stranger who just happened to be carrying a baby that was related to them, she also couldn't acknowledge her status as Edward's girlfriend.

What neither of them were ready for was anyone else's opinion or intrusion on the matter. They would all want to know how their relationship would affect the baby. Edward and Bella were barely grasping how it affected them.

In theory, Edward and Bella's plan made sense. They were learning how to be a couple. Their hearts had obviously rushed ahead of them, despite all logic. Bella couldn't deny that she adored Edward, and she could admit to herself that she couldn't remember what her life was like without him. They were slowly learning what it meant to be part of a couple, enjoying each other's company even when they weren't naked. Stupid things that seemed to flow naturally to other couples were puzzles to Edward and Bella. For instance, the first time Edward had freaked out because she hadn't responded to his texts all day, Bella was furious at the implication that she was obligated to check in with him. It took a rather heated conversation before she realized that he was merely worried about her. She'd worked very late that evening, and it was Los Angeles after all. There was plenty of crime in the area. They were two highly independent adults learning to compromise.

When they figured out how they worked, then they would be better equipped to figure out how they were going to raise a child together. What neither of them were acknowledging was what would happen if the baby arrived before they knew what they were going to do about her.

So even though Bella very much enjoyed the Cullens, there was always a slight anxiety - like going to school, knowing you hadn't studied the material and hoping to high hell that the teacher wouldn't call on you that day.

The day started out pleasantly enough. For one, Rosalie wasn't there. She had a photo shoot downtown and wasn't expected until nighttime.

It was Emmett who opened the door, immediately drawing her into a big hug. "Hello there Mafiosa Mama."

"Why Mafiosa?" Edward asked, joining them in the foyer. He flashed Bella a gorgeous grin, making her heart flutter.

Emmett kept his arm slung casually around Bella's shoulders. "Hella Bella is Queen of the Mafia Wars world, Edward. When I need an energy pack, I got an energy pack. When I need help whacking a guy, Bella's got my back."

Bella blushed, ducking her head. "Mafia Wars is a Facebook game," she explained to Edward.

He pursed his lips, obviously trying not to laugh. "I would never have figured you for a Facebook Gamer."

"I'm telling you, bro, the queen." He drew Bella forward into the house, chatting conversationally. "So, tell me. Why is your name Bella the Toothache?"

"Um, that was Jasper's idea," Bella admitted, spotting her friend already there, lounging in a chair by the pool between Peter and Alice. "I couldn't think of anything."

"Yeah, but what's it mean?" Emmett prodded.

"It means she's sweet. So sweet she'll give you cavities," Edward supplied.

Bella turned to him, arcing an eyebrow. "How did you know that?"

He tugged her ponytail playfully. "Lucky guess," he said with a small smile.

"Bella!" Alice called, grinning and waving from across the pool. She tried to stand but was set off balance by her burgeoning belly. Jasper quickly stood, helping her up. She looked slightly sheepish but excitedly made her way around the pool to Bella. "Hi!"

Bella hugged her back as well as she could, laughing at the way their bellies met in the middle. Come October and November they wouldn't be able to touch if they stood tummy to tummy.

"Bewwa! B'la," two voices came from the pool. Bella looked over to find the twins splashing and waving at her. Both of their arms were decked out in floaties, and they stayed within arms reach of where Tanya sat on the steps of the pool.

"Lookit me!" one of them shouted. She kicked herself around in a circle and then looked up at Bella for applause.

"Well you're a swimming champion," Bella said, clapping dutifully.

"Now lookit me!" the other twin cried, not to be outdone. She put her whole face in the water and then popped back up, blinking furiously and looking to Bella for approval.

"Wow, you sure can hold your breath for a while," Bella said, mentally crossing her fingers that she'd guessed correctly the stunning talent the twin-girl was trying for. It must have been the right thing to say because she was rewarded with a toothy grin.

Tanya gave a friendly wave. Carlisle and Esme each greeted Bella with a hug and a cheek kiss.

Peter's greeting was a little too enthusiastic. Ever the joker, her picked Bella up while she was distracted with Carlisle and Esme, marching her to the edge of the pool and threatening to spill her in.

"Peter!" Bella protested, clinging to his neck for dear life. "Peter, I swear to god. Let me go, or I'm going to-"

Laughing, Peter set her safely a few feet away from the pool before she could do harm to innocent ears. "Sorry, Bella. I had a bet with Jasper that you wouldn't get in the water. I was just hedging my chance at winning."

Over Peter's shoulder, Jasper motioned to Bella to keep quiet. He crept closer. Bella made her best mad face. "I didn't even bring a suit so you better be ready to pay up."

Before Peter could respond, Jasper had grabbed him around the waist, hauling both of them into the deep end of the pool. Everyone laughed when Peter screamed like a little girl, the high pitched noise swallowed by the great splash of water. They reappeared, engaging each other in a splash war of epic proportions.

Not to be left out, Emmett elbowed his little brother. "Come on, Edward. I bet I can still beat you to the other end of the pool."

Edward raised an eyebrow at his brother. "Emmett, you've never beat me to the other end of the pool," he said dryly.

"Bet you I will today!" Emmett crowed, jumping feet first into the shallow end and taking off.

Edward pulled his shirt over his head in one swift motion. "That's cheating!" he yelled as he followed his brother into the pool.

Arms crossed as she watched the state of chaos in her Olympic sized swimming pool, Esme chuckled. "Boys will be boys. They never do grow up." She turned slightly patting Alice's belly. "Good luck with that one, dear."

Alice grinned, scrunching up her nose in response. She turned to Bella then. "I have something for you," she said cheerily.

Bella's head snapped over to her friend. She felt a little thickheaded. Seeing Edward strip off his shirt had thrown her momentarily. "I'm sorry, what?"

The diminutive, raven-haired beauty chortled. "I said, I have something for you. Come on."

Alice led Bella into a glass covered, jacuzzi room just off to the side from the pool. Hung on a rack in the far corner was a modest bathing suit. It was a one piece that Alice explained was designed to accentuate the legs. "Why would I want to accentuate my legs?" Bella asked, thinking it was an odd thing to say.

"No reason," Alice said with a shrug and a not too convincing innocent smile.

Bella couldn't help but feel suspicious. "Well, I don't know if I want to swim," she hedged.

"Oh, come on," Alice said, pouting ever so slightly. "It'll be fun. I mean, have you discovered how buoyant we've become? Having a beach ball down your front has its advantages." Her eyes sparkled with amusement.

Eventually, Bella let herself be convinced. And Alice was right - she was very buoyant. The twins seemed to find this particularly amusing, one of them hanging on to Alice or Bella as they floated on their backs. It wasn't at all irritating as Bella would have imagined.

A little later they were all played out, sitting at the outside picnic table, eating skewers that Carlisle prepared. Edward's hand was resting discretely on her knee under the table, his thumb occasionally brushing her kneecap. Bella was starting to feel right at home and comfortable.

Bella should have known it wouldn't last.

The questioning began innocently enough. Esme asked Bella if the nursery was ready, or if she had any plan on color scheme and design. Bella found herself hesitant to answer. She glanced at Edward out of the corner of her eyes, suddenly wondering if it was overstepping to make this kind of decision on her own. While she found herself wanting Edward in her life, she still wasn't sure how to grapple with the idea of sharing custody of her child. Was everything a team decision from what color paint would grace the nursery to how they would handle discipline?

So she gave vague answers, saying truthfully that she hadn't thought it all through. The conversation evolved to necessities and if Bella had bought many supplies. She gave Jasper a pointed look, saying that the baby had quite a respectable wardrobe already, but other than that, she hadn't really had time to gather what she needed.

And that was when Esme started talking about a joint baby shower for her and Alice.

"Mom," Edward hissed warningly. Obviously this wasn't the first time he was hearing about this idea.

"I'm really not a party games type of girl," Bella hedged, twirling the left over skewer between her fingers. "Besides, almost all of my friends are guys." She smiled sheepishly, hoping she wasn't coming off as rude.

Esme laughed lightly. "I hate shower games too. My baby showers don't include the ridiculous games. Ask Tanya."

"She's right," Tanya spoke, grinning. "Her parties are such fun, Bella. The boys and girls are all invited. The food was themed. Everything came in twos for mine, as you might imagine," she grinned, kissing the head of the twin who was seated on her lap.

It was hard to say no to all the grinning faces around her, so Bella didn't. She eventually let herself be talked into a baby shower.

"Good," Esme said, looking pleased with herself. "Don't worry about a thing. All you and Edward need to do is register for what you need or want."

Beside her, Edward set his soda can down heavily. He looked over, his eyes slightly nervous. Confused by his expression, Bella put her hand over his on her knee, squeezing reassuringly. Obviously noticing that everyone was watching, Edward smoothed the startled expression back into practiced indifference. "We can do that," he said simply.

Before the conversation could continue, bringing up more subjects she and Edward weren't prepared to face, Bella cleared her throat. "Hey, Alice. Can I ask you a random question?"

Alice shrugged. "Course," she said, popping a ranch-covered tomato in her mouth.

"Why is your and Rosalie's last name Hale?" From the comments on Facebook, especially from one Cynthia Brandon, Bella had pieced together that Alice's last name wasn't Hale as she had originally assumed. Obviously, Rosalie's last name had started out as Cullen. She was genuinely curious where they'd gotten it.

"Oh," Alice said, her lips turning up in a fond smile. "Well-"

"That's none of your business," a highly irritated voice interrupted them.

They all turned to see Rosalie standing at the back door. She looked fabulous - even more so than usual. Her hair was carefully windblown, and the dress she wore hugged her curves perfectly. She was glaring at Bella.

Bella cleared her throat. "I'm sorry. You're right."

"No, no she's not right," Alice said, her eyes narrowed at her lover. She turned to Bella, smiling forcibly. "You and I are friends. You have every right to ask me a question like that as my friend."

"I don't want her knowing about our private life, Alice," Rosalie protested.

Alice was quiet for a long moment, then she looked over at Rosalie with blazing eyes. "Are you ashamed of me?" she asked pointblank.

The furious expression fell from Rosalie's face, replaced by a look of complete shock. "What? Of course not!"

"Then you have no leg to stand on, Rose. Even if Bella were only asking to get a scoop, which she isn't, then all that would happen is that the general public would find out exactly how long we've meant something to each other." Alice put a hand to her mouth, her eyes suddenly welling with tears. "All this time, I've let you keep me in the shadows - something to hide like a stupid sex tape with that disgusting pig. Well, I'm sick of it."

She stood, walking as quickly as she was able to the house. "Baby-" Rose tried, stepping toward her.

"Your baby is going to be here come November," Alice snarled, glaring through her tears. "Are you going to keep him a dirty little secret too?" She didn't wait for Rosalie to answer, instead continuing into the house.

Rosalie stared at the glass door for a few seconds, looking shell shocked. She turned to look at her family, her eyes falling on Bella and turning hard. For one, two, three full seconds, they just stared at each other - Bella lost for any idea what to say and Rosalie glaring with pure malevolence. Then, the blond-haired woman turned, striding into the house after her tearful partner.

Esme cleared her throat, looking highly disapproving as she stared at the spot her daughter had disappeared from. She turned to Bella, putting on a warm smile. "Don't worry, dear. I think that was a long time coming."

Bella wasn't worried. She felt badly, hating that her very presence made Rosalie uncomfortable in a place that was her home more than it would ever be Bella's. But at the same time, her stomach twisted with frustration at the injustice.

"Come on, Bella," Edward said, leaning close to her. She could recognize the tightness in his voice, but he was obviously trying to distract her. "You want to see how quick I can beat Emmett at ping pong?"

Emmett chuffed. "In your dreams, little brother. Even my girls can kick your a-uh, hiney at ping pong."

**~0~**

A few days later, Bella was at her place, standing on the porch, saying a lingering goodbye to Edward that included lips and tongues, but no words. She sighed into his mouth, thinking that there were fewer greater pleasures in life than kissing Edward - and most of those included doing other things with him.

"I wish you could come with me," Edward murmured as they parted. He leaned his forehead against hers, his arms wrapped loosely around her waist.

Bella huffed slightly, tilting her head up for a small kiss. "I wouldn't go even if I could," she admitted. "I don't want to think about the heartburn Thai food would give me right now." With a sigh, she stepped away from him. "Have fun."

He grinned, "I'll try."

Bella stepped back in the house, leaning against the door and smiling like a goofball to herself. She was ridiculously happy, basking in the warm glow that spending time with Edward always brought. She gasped a little then, her hands going to her belly as she felt an unmistakable little flutter there.

"You like him too," she asked out loud, her fingers stroking her skin, marveling at the life that moved inside of her. She'd been feeling the baby's movements for about a week. "I guess that's a good thing."

Her doorbell rang then. With a smile of anticipation, Bella turned and flung it open, "Did you forget-"

Her question died on her lips as she saw that it wasn't Edward standing there but her father.

"Dad," she squeaked, feeling oddly guilty. "Hi."

Her father studied her carefully, and Bella felt her cheeks glow red. After a moment, he held up a paper bag. "Was out fishing this morning. Turns out you were right. There are a couple of lakes nearby - if you can call them that. Anyway, I thought we could have a fish-fry, for old times sake."

Just then, the smell from the bag hit Bella with the strength of a wrecking ball. She clapped a hand over her mouth and ran for the bathroom.

When she emerged, Charlie was looking apologetic. Thankfully, the fish was nowhere to be seen, though Bella could still smell traces of it in the air.

"Come on, kid. I'll treat you to lunch. Whatever you want," he held the door open for her. "And then you can tell me about the guy I saw leaving just a minute ago."

**~0~**

Bella squirmed, looking everywhere besides her father. She felt like a teenager whose parent had found condoms in their nightstand. He was staring - she knew that. She could feel his eyes on the top of her head, like sun through a magnifying glass. Her face was hot, and for once she couldn't blame the baby.

"So," Charlie said, his voice a practiced calm of a man who's heard everything from juvenile delinquents and drunks, "this Edwin-"

"Edward," she corrected.

"Edward seems like a nice guy. Where'd you meet him?"

The questions were inevitable. Bella knew she had a choice. Lying outright to her father was entirely different from not correcting his assumption. And besides that, she had nothing to hide. It was her life to live as she chose. She would not feel ashamed when she hadn't done anything wrong.

So she told him about how this baby was conceived.

Charlie set his fork down and gaped at his daughter. "Bella, I thought you said you went to the clinic."

"I did."

"But it's his baby?" Charlie clarified.

"She's my baby," Bella countered.

Charlie fixed her with a disparaging look. "You know what I mean. You're with him because of the … mix up."

"No," she said, her voice more defensive than she would have liked, "it's separate. We're trying to figure us out separate from the baby." She placed her hand on her belly, stroking nervously. How could she explain? "I mean, just because we... I mean..."

Charlie leaned across the table. "Bells, one thing you're going to learn: when you have kids, there is no separate."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to the lovely jadedandboring for beta work. Miniest is home, and gorgeous I might add. So I put her back to work. ::cough::
> 
> I hope you all had a merry new year!
> 
> So, tell me about your baby showers.


	15. Guilt is the Price We Pay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sigh. I am doing better with review replies, but not where I wanna be. I'm juggling two jobs and two fics! Heh. I'm sure you'd rather get an update. Please know that every one of you reviews means a lot to me. Thank you for your feedback. Much love. Much love.
> 
> Disclaimer: Not my characters, as much as I want them to be.

"Why isn't Edward doing this with you?" Jacob demanded, not for the first time.

"You didn't have to come with me," Bella responded, trying to keep her irritation under control.

"No, I  _shouldn't_ have to be here with you. He should be here, and you know it."

Bella sighed. It was unfortunate that she'd been out to lunch with Jacob when Edward called.

After her conversation with Charlie the previous week , Bella had been feeling self conscious about how little she and Edward talked about the baby. As an introduction to the subject, she'd asked him if he wanted to go with her to do a little hands on research as to just what the baby needed in terms of clothing, furniture, and accessories. He'd agreed, but then that afternoon he called to bow out.

"His editor called him in," Bella explained. "Work is more important than this," she gestured at all the baby-related paraphernalia around them.

Jacob gave her a hard look. "Work shouldn't be more important than his daughter," he retorted.

"Jake," Bella grumbled, glaring at him, "can you please stop being over-dramatic? This is just research. I'm not even creating a registry today. I don't need anyone to hold my hand." She didn't sound as convincing as she wanted to. Looking around at an entire, warehouse-sized store full of baby supplies was a little intimidating. Surely one tiny infant didn't need all this … stuff.

"It feels weird, thinking about a baby shower," Bella said, changing the subject. "I mean, look... if I decide I need this stroller," she ran her hands along one of the seemingly endless line of strollers, "do I put that on the list automatically? This is a $300 stroller. Why would I ask people to spend that kind of money on my kid?"

"You're not asking them to spend anything, Bells," Jacob said, shaking his head. "Come on, even I know the point of these things. All you're doing is compiling a list of things you need. If your friends want to buy you a $300 stroller then fine, let them. If not there's plenty of little stuff they can get."

"Yeah, but is there some kind of etiquette I should be following? I mean, I was online the other day, and I found three different articles about how wonderful walkers are and three about how horrible they are. If I added a walker to my list, would half the people automatically think I was a bad parent?" Bella furrowed her eyebrows. "Is it even kosher to add something the baby wouldn't be using for months?"

Jacob burst out laughing. He put a finger to the scrunched skin between her eyebrows as if he could smooth them out. "You worry too much."

Bella was about to respond when she heard a familiar, tinkling laugh. "Is that..." she sped up, peering around the corner into the other aisle. Sure enough, there was Alice and Rosalie, arms around each other as they looked over breast pumps.

Before she could either decide to say hello or, more likely, duck away before they could see her, a man shoved by her. Bella stumbled, catching herself on a shelf before Jacob could steady her. Plastic wrapped items went flying. Alice and Rosalie looked up to see what the commotion was all about just as the man who had so rudely brushed by Bella raised a camera. He snap, snap, snapped several pictures of Rose with her arms around Alice before Jacob grabbed his arm.

"Hey! Watch what you're doing. You nearly knocked a pregnant woman over. What's wrong with you?" Jacob snarled.

The man didn't even bother to look away from his prize. Paparazzi, Bella realized belatedly. "Get off me," he muttered, wresting his arm away from Jacob's hand. He continued to snap pictures. By this time though, Alice and Rosalie had untangled themselves from each other. Rosalie looked horrified. Alice was glaring. How she, at five foot nothing and hugely pregnant on top of it, managed to look intimidating as she stalked toward the pap was beyond Bella, but it happened nonetheless. The pap actually stumbled backward a step or two.

"What do you think you're doing in here?" Alice demanded, getting right in the pap's face. Her hands were fists at her side.

He ignored her question, throwing out one of his own. "What's your relation to Miss Hale?"

"That isn't any of your business," Rosalie retorted, coming up then. The pap snapped another picture of her. "You know you can't be in a place of business harassing customers."

"How about I leave you alone if you tell me your pretty friend's name?"

"How about I call the cops right now?" Rosalie retorted.

The pap relented and turned, heading back out of the store while he furiously jotted down notes in a notepad he carried.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Rosalie spun on Bella. "You! What in the hell is wrong with you?" she seethed in a hiss.

Bella's eyes widened. "What?" she asked, completely clueless as to what Rosalie could possibly be talking about.

"How did you know we were here? What did you tell him about us?"

"Whoa, whoa. Chill out, blondie," Jacob interrupted, stepping between Bella and Rosalie. "What are you accusing Bella of?"

"She thinks I sent that guy," Bella responded numbly.

"How can you play innocent now? You think I'm going to believe it's a coincidence that you appeared the same second he did?" the blond woman retorted.

"Rose, how would she have known we were here?" Alice placated softly. "We only decided forty minutes ago we were coming, and we didn't tell anyone."

For a tense moment, Rosalie looked back and forth between Bella and Alice, obviously not believing that Bella had nothing to do with the pap showing up, but not having any way to prove it either.

Bella sighed. "Rosalie, look. I know what you think of me. I don't know what else I can do to make you believe that I have no interest in antagonizing you - especially not now."

"Right," Rosalie bit out. "Let's go Alice," she said, nodding in the direction of the exit. "I'm sure he's going to be waiting outside for us."

Alice tossed an apologetic look over her shoulder as she followed Rosalie out. From the tenor of their conversation, Bella could tell they were arguing. She groaned quietly, shaking her head to dispel the frustration that always came with an encounter with Rosalie.

"So that's the great Rosalie Hale in person, eh?" Jacob said, rubbing her shoulder lightly. "You and Jasper weren't lying about her. She's a real piece of work. And how different could her brother be if he was raised by the same people?"

Bella bristled. "Edward isn't anything like his sister."

"Those were your words a few months ago, remember? When you didn't want to trust Edward?"

"Well, I was wrong. I can trust him. I do trust him," Bella crossed her arms defensively, looking away from Jacob. "The Cullens are good people. Rosalie - she's just angry."

"And Edward is at work when he should be with his family, if that's where he wanted to be," Jacob returned.

"If it was important, he'd be here," Bella defended, but she could hear the uncertainty in her voice. They both knew that she had no idea if what she thought was important would coincide with what Edward's opinion.

She felt a light fluttering in her belly and wondered if the baby could sense her sudden anxiety. Taking a deep breath, she searched for a modicum of calm. For long moments her head swam with a mixture of fear and bitterness.

For a long time she'd wanted nothing to do with relationships. Despite her best intentions, one had found her, and now Bella wanted nothing more than what average couples got. She wanted the time to slowly discover the ins and outs and tiny, fragmented pieces of Edward Cullen. She was learning his moods, and finding out exactly how many ways he could smile. She was finding the good and bad side of each part of his personality. She was slowly learning how to enjoy his company as well as his body - there was no mistaking the comfort she felt even knowing he was in the same house.

What Bella wanted was the time to nurse and truly appreciate her budding relationship. But time, she knew, she was rapidly running out of. It was the last week of July. The baby was due in early November. It seemed unnatural to make decisions with Edward that would affect not only her life, but her daughter's when they were just beginning to figure out how they worked together.

"Bella," Jacob's contrite voice snapped her out of her heavy thoughts. "Jeez, you're going to gnaw through your lip. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to upset you." He drew her into his arms for a hug. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I just don't want to see you hurt."

"I know that," Bella responded, stepping out of his arms. "He really isn't a bad guy, Jacob."

Jacob pursed his lips and said nothing. He obviously had his doubts, but he nodded his head. "The little one seems pretty awesome though. I thought she was going to pop that asshat in the face."

Bella smiled. "Alice. Yeah, she's a tough cookie. I know I wouldn't want to go a round with her, even now." They started walking again, and Bella felt the need to feel the silence. "And for the record - the rest of the Cullens are pretty amazing people. I think you'd really like Emmett. I think you'd really like Edward if you gave him a chance."

"Stranger things have happened," Jacob allowed dubiously. "Ya know, if we get that blonde a muzzle, she might actually be attractive."

Despite herself, Bella giggled.

**~0~**

It took a while for Edward to recognize the stomach clenching, generally rotten feeling that pooled around his chest and weighed heavily on his shoulders. Guilt. He was riddled with it.

He remembered being a teenager - a very angry teenager - and getting in trouble for being found drunk and disorderly at the tender age of 17. His father had picked him up. The ride home had been the longest forty minutes of his life. Neither of them spoke until they were mere blocks from home. Then Edward had blurted out a question - if Carlisle was going to tell his mother what had happened.

His father sighed and grimaced, his eyes tight and lined at the corners. "I hate lying to your mother, but I hate that she would think she failed too."

As a teenager he hadn't really understood. As a man he now knew too well.

His lie to Bella was like bile at the back of his throat. It was almost too easy how the lie had slipped out. Mike called, asking him to come in. Though he knew damn well it was an easily rescheduled meeting, Edward called Bella and told her it would interfere with their previous plans. He waited for her to call him on it. She hadn't.

_She trusts you, idiot._

He absolutely detested himself for betraying that trust.

On top of that guilt was the increasing pressure on his heart that nagged him with every beat that he shouldn't be a father. He recognized now that the disappointed, crestfallen expressions his parents often wore during his teenage years - and while Rosalie was fighting her demons - were not directed entirely at their children. No, they felt they had failed in some way.

Edward was beginning to understand the strength it took mothers to give their babies up for adoption. Intellectually he'd understood the concept: those women found themselves ill-equipped to care for a child and had selflessly given their babies a chance at having the kind of lives they deserved. But turning his back on a life he'd helped create was still an abhorrent thought to him, even now that he knew Bella was a kind, strong, intelligent woman capable of the kind of unconditional love that he wasn't sure he could ever master.

And the thought of losing Bella when he'd only just found her... It was unfathomable.

"Dude...are you all right?" Mike's voice cut into Edward's thoughts, making him jump. "You look like you had bad street meat."

Edward closed his eyes for one brief moment and forced himself to shake off the dismal feelings. "I'm fine," he assured, watching Mike take his customary seat behind his desk.

"Alrighty then," Mike said with a nod. He started up his computer and rolled his eyes. "You have to give me a minute here. I keep meaning to get this piece of crap replaced. It takes forever to start up."

"Maybe you should stop looking at porn at work," Edward suggested lightly, quirking an eyebrow at his editor.

Mike laughed. "What, McAffee doesn't catch every virus they can think up? Damn." He leaned back in his seat. "So, how's your girl?" he asked. "How's all that going?" It was an innocent enough question, but Edward found himself unable to answer at first.

_Oh, she's fine. I'm avoiding her by doing much more of my job than I absolutely need to in order to avoid all baby-related activities. Is it possible to be a dead beat dad and still be around? Which is worse?_

But it didn't really seem like Mike was looking for an answer. "I gotta tell you, I hope you keep that one around. Her friend Leah?" Mike whistled. "Well, I owe her forever for that one."

Edward raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Really?" he said before his filter kicked in. "I mean... no offense or anything but she kind of seemed...rough around the edges."

"Oh, she's a total bitch," Mike said, squeezing the hell out of a stress ball more because his hands could never be still than out of feeling any sort of stress. "But I don't know man, I kind of like it. How fucked up is that? I mean, she pretty much says exactly what she feels, and I can appreciate that."

Mike looked thoughtful for a moment before turning back to Edward. "I guess I figure that every bitch or asshole has to have a reason to be that way. I know Leah's. Her asshole ex-husband did a number on her." His eyes tightened for a moment before he looked back to Edward. "That doesn't mean she's not worthy of this." He spread his arms out, grinning like a jackass as he gestured at himself. "Am I right? Huh?"

Edward just chuckled, and Mike looked thoughtful. "You know, I just don't understand guys like that. Doesn't take much to do the right thing - no matter what that is. Just be honest. Even if it's gonna hurt, people deserve the honest truth.

"Sam - he didn't just decide from one day to the next that he wanted to be with Emily. Oh, no. He'd been smitten with her for years. He never should have agreed to let her be the surrogate under those circumstances." Mike looked back at Edward, his face slightly sad. "It would have made Leah sad at the time - but can you imagine how much better off she would have been? To have her husband admit to a crush on a cousin is loads better than losing her husband and baby to her cousin. If only he'd been honest."

Guilt was so thick in Edward's throat that he could hardly swallow. He breathed in through his nose, fighting the grimace that threatened to paint his features with shame. He cleared his throat. "Maybe you could tell me a little about why you called," he suggested lightly, changing the subject.

Mike's face brightened considerably. "Well, I had to pull some strings but I got you into The AFF," he announced.

Edward's mouth dropped slightly. "The American Food Fair?" he confirmed, though he knew full well that's exactly what his editor meant. "Mike, that's this weekend."

"You'd have to leave tomorrow. Early. Is that a problem?"

It felt like it should be a problem, but as Edward thought about it, he couldn't tell why. Bella came to mind, of course, but it wasn't as if they hadn't been apart for a few days before. Internally, he sighed, irritated at the disorienting feeling that was becoming his staple emotion. Technically, their relationship was so new things like business trips shouldn't have been on the table for discussion at all. Technically, their lives shouldn't have been that entwined that it would even matter. It simply felt odd to be away from the woman who was currently pregnant with his child. Emmett had refused to go out of town on business when Tanya was pregnant. It felt like the right thing to do.

"I don't see a problem with that, no," he finally answered Mike.

**~0~**

"No," Edward said again flatly.

Bella pouted at him, rolling her eyes. They were in her living room - Bella sitting on her floor with her back against the couch he was laying on. They'd both been brooding while they pretended to watch a movie. Edward's fingers curled into her hair, playing the skin of her neck like a tiny piano as he stared forward unseeing.

She had no idea what was going on in his head. Her own was filled with guilt; she still hadn't told him about Charlie catching them the week before. She hadn't told Edward that her father wanted to meet him, and she certainly hadn't told him about what had happened in the baby store. Since he didn't bring it up, she assumed that his sister and Alice hadn't told him either.

Maybe it was because she was looking for distractions, and maybe it was because she did, in all honestly, adore Edward, but when she glanced over her shoulder and saw his beautiful, pensive face, she let all her cares wash away as the happy, giddy feelings washed over her. She turned, getting up on her knees so she could kiss him properly. He was surprised but had eagerly returned her kisses, his hands curling against the back of his neck.

When she had moved down to his crotch, he stopped her before she could even get his pants undone, leading to their current standstill.

"Why not?" she demanded. "Don't tell me you don't like blow jobs."

"Uh, Bella... I'm a guy. I'm all for blow jobs," he assured, looking amused. "It's just...weird."

"Weird?" she asked, getting up and sitting on the edge of the couch by his feet. "It's weird that the sight of a stunningly attractive man laid out on my couch makes me want to do naughty things?" she said, innocently moving her hands up the inside of his legs to his thighs. "That's weird?"

Bella didn't miss how his lips parted just slightly as his breathing increased. He swallowed hard. "No, that's not weird. It's just..."

"Yes?" Bella prompted, letting the backs of her knuckles brush over the budding bulge in his jeans.

"What you eat, the baby eats," he blurted, his cheeks immediately going pink with embarrassment.

Shocked into stillness, Bella stopped her ministrations so she could gape at Edward. Then she had to laugh. "I don't have to swallow, if it bothers you," she said, waggling her eyebrows at him playfully.

He pursed his lips for a moment, and then smiled at her. "I have a better idea." He stood, taking her hand in his. Together, they made their way down the hallway to her bedroom.

Once there, Bella sat on the edge of the bed. She reached up to unbutton his shirt just as he reached down to unbutton hers. Neither of them seemed to be in any rush, just enjoying the intimacy of being together. When Edward's chest was bared to her, Bella leaned forward, pressing open mouthed, wet kisses against his skin. His fingers brushed her hair back, out of her face. The way he caressed her cheeks, down to the arch of her neck, and over her chin was so tender that her heart felt painfully full. She loved the feel of his fingers on her skin when he touched her like this. There was a sort of reverence to it. It was almost eerie - how utterly happy and content she felt in those quiet moments together. They were perfect minutes of time that no words or definitions could capture.

Bella tilted her head up, her breath catching in her throat when she saw the way he looked at her. It was similar to how she'd felt staring at the Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls - like she was staring at the magnificent, awesome things that the universe could accomplish. But it was different because this was all hers. The look in his eyes belonged to no one but her.

It was then that she understood why every other poem, book, song, movie, image was dedicated to love. She understood why there were so many definitions, and how not one of them were right at the same time that all of were. Until that moment, she'd believed that love was an invention - a made up term that got romanticized sometime after the Dark Ages until it twisted and threw a gauzy veil over common sense. Maybe that was still true, but at that moment she understood it was possibly man's greatest invention. It was as close to creating the universe as human beings would ever be capable of. It was wondrous - in all its maddening, elating, terrifying, euphoric glory.

Wordlessly, Edward bent down to kiss her. His kisses were slow, serious kisses where his lips and hers only parted long enough to breathe. His hands cupped and covered each shoulder blade as he kissed her, just as her fingers explored the divot at the small of his back.

They were in that position so long, Bella imagined his neck had to be tired. She broke their kiss, stroking the back of her knuckles against the stubble covered underside of his chin. She could feel the smile on her lips as she looked at him. She tugged his hand as she scooted further back on the bed, then dropped her fingers to pull her pants down, kicking them off as she moved to the head, center of the bed. She grinned at him coyly, pulling her panties down and sending them flying over the edge of the bed. Bella allowed herself a moment to take in the way he was looking at her as he knelt on the bed - his tongue darting out over his open lips and his eyes devouring her naked body. Then she turned away from him, putting her hands on the wall above her bed.

She waited as the mattress creaked and dipped under his weight. It seemed to take forever for him to get to her. His fingers touched her first, sweeping through her hair as he pulled it gently back and then over one shoulder. Then his hands were at her waist, his large palms over each side of her hips. He'd told her once that he loved the affect her pregnancy had on her body. Over the weeks they'd been together, he'd watched her hips round out at about the same pace as her breasts. She wasn't heavy by any means, but curvaceous in that glowing, alive way that only a woman could accomplish.

His hands traveled slowly up her sides and over her back even as he scooted closer to her. The soft thrills he elicited were calmed as he pressed his chest to her back. His breath was warm when he put his lips to the space where her neck met her shoulders. As he alternated soft, hot kisses with slightly stingy little nips, his right hand moved across her front. He cupped one breast, massaging his thumb over her nipple in slow circles before concentrating on the second. His left hand brushed over her tummy, following the smooth, hard line before his fingers found her center. Bella moaned and whimpered, pressing her ass back against him. She could feel how hard he was getting for her, and she wanted him. Then, if not sooner. She almost sighed with relief when she felt him between her legs.

His name broke the silence between them as it fell from her lips. It was all the communication they needed. It was how much she wanted him and needed him in that moment, and how overwhelming this new feeling was. It was an unspoken 'I love you' because she didn't know how to the say the words out loud yet, but they painted the tone of her voice. The position wasn't very deep, but it felt wonderful, and gave Edward access to her body. He used his lips to cover her neck, shoulders, face and lips with kisses. He used his hands and fingers to play the rest of her - caressing and petting every part of her he could reach.

When she was close but not quite ready to come, Edward slipped out of her for the few, short moments it took to stack the pillows a little further down on the bed. He guided her backward, pushing her gently forward so her upper half was supported by the pillows and her ass was pointed skyward. He slid back inside her, this new position allowing him to find new, deeper pleasure points. The noises that slipped passed their lips got louder and more wanton. They moved together faster.

A few minutes later they were curled together in a lazy tangle of limbs - all sated sighs and sublime comfort in each others quiet presence. Bella's head lay on Edward's chest, the fingers of his left hand and her right playing with each other like children during a game of tag; their legs crisscrossed each other.

The baby seemed to stir inside Bella then, and made her presence known as she tap, tap, tapped a fluttery rhythm at the walls of Bella's abdomen, as if she wanted to join her parents in this happy moment. Bella moved her free hand to caress her belly, wondering if Edward could feel the baby move, but as her stomach was pressed against his side and he hadn't said anything, she doubted he could yet.

One thought at a time, reality intruded in the quiet, little bubble they'd retreated to. Bella stilled their playful fingers, holding his hand in hers. "When you get back... we really need to talk."

Her head rose and fell on his chest as he sighed. "I know," he said quietly.

They lay in silence for a few more minutes before Edward sighed again and carefully disentangled himself from her. He sat on the edge of the bed, and she watched him pull on his clothes with no small amount of displeasure. It was somewhat ridiculous, but she felt needy for him - like if he walked out of her home they would not find the connection that had flowed freely between them that evening.

Bella sat up when he was fully clothed. When he turned to her, she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close. "Call me when you leave and when you land?"

He kissed her forehead, her cheek, and then her lips. "I will," he promised, knowing better than to argue that he was leaving too early to bother her with a call.

In the next few minutes he was gone, leaving Bella with a strange, dull ache in the center of her chest.

**~0~**

The whole drive home, Edward kept on rubbing his chest, trying to soothe out the phantom pain that had settled there. He had no idea why it was so hard to leave Bella's house that evening. It was utterly absurd that there was an odd sort of finality to his leaving.

He had to admit to himself that he was scared. He didn't know how he was going to get through the conversation he knew he had to have without losing Bella. As fiercely protective as she had been since the beginning, there was no way she was going to accept less than his full involvement with their baby. Edward cared for her. More than that even, and he knew he would care for the baby as part of her. But there was a huge difference between being able to love a child because she was part of her mother and being able to love a child as an individual. Blood-born, adopted or otherwise, a father's love was not replaceable, and it wasn't something that he could fake. Bella knew that. She would accept no substitute.

He was going to lose her.

Edward was startled back to reality when his phone rang. He looked around, wondering how long he'd been parked in his driveway. He sighed, answering the phone without looking at it. "Hello?"

The voice on the other end of the line cleared his throat. "Edward Cullen?"

"Yes?" Edward sat up straighter in his seat, wondering who it could possibly be.

"This is Jacob Black - you know, we met at Query?"

"Right, of course I remember you."

"Well, I know this is kind of sudden, but I realize we didn't get off on the right foot. I was wondering if you would meet me for a drink tonight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks go to Barburella and jadedandboring for being too, too good to me. Even though jadedandboring is going to make me read Roseward ::shudders:: Give me strength y'all. I hate throwing up. [Hey, I said you could keep your bukkit.] *You just middle of the night beta'ed for me… I would read Carlisle/Bella for you and NOT mention the bukkit I needed*
> 
> So, I was amused to find out that most of you had babies who just needed to be present at their showers. Heh. Little people love being the center of attention, non?
> 
> I am also amused by how many of you sense that ish is about to hit the fan.
> 
> But, in the meantime, tell me about baby STUFF. It's amazing how much a little person needs. I was aghast at the price of a newborn stroller. Seriously? I can buy two computers with that ... jesus. What baby item took you by surprise?


	16. It Hits the Fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *begins handing out hard hats* The good news is that I got to all my review replies (I think). And… this is the second post in one week! *tightens everyone's seatbelts* Okay, so ... a lot of you are new to my writing. Imma ask for your trust. Ride's about to get bumpy.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they own me.

As Bella approached the station, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was very wrong. She'd expected Edward to call her from the airport. Instead he merely texted that his flight was about to leave.

As soon as she got to the station though, Bella had no time to worry about Edward or the nagging feeling that the other shoe was about to drop. Victoria had her running everywhere - it was just one of those days. Jacob called a little before lunchtime wanting to speak to her. Bella had to tell him that she'd call back soon.

The day went by quickly. There was something in the air - some kind of tension she couldn't name, but at least she wasn't the only one feeling it. Bella saw Aro and army of suits go by, and she wondered what was going on. He'd looked severely pissed.

"Bella," Jasper appeared in the doorway, breathless. He grabbed her arm and tugged her to her feet. "Come here. You have to see this."

Confused, Bella followed him to his own office. There, on the TV screen was the Ellen show. Ellen was currently talking to none other than Rosalie Hale. Bella looked to Jasper for further information. "She just came out on national television," Jasper said excitedly.

"The only reason I kept it a secret was for so long was because I wanted to protect her from any kind of scrutiny," Rosalie was saying. "I'm not ashamed of who I am, and I'm definitely not ashamed of her." She smiled fondly. "Alice is amazing."

"You can tell us," Ellen said, leaning forward eagerly with a friendly grin. "As a model, weren't you even a little concerned that you might lose some of your fans?"

Rosalie smirked. "I don't see why I would. Nothing's changed. I'm just as sexy as I was yesterday and they have just as much chance with me."

The interview continued. Rosalie's face lit up as she talked about Alice and the son they were expecting. Ellen touched briefly on Rosalie's notorious past, and Bella flinched when Rosalie made vague reference to her as 'the woman who leaked the tape, who I unfortunately have to see frequently.'

"Guess that explains why I saw Aro run through here earlier," Jasper said, chuckling as the show came to an end.

"He's bound to be furious that she went to another network with this," Bella agreed. A chime on her phone drew Bella's attention. "Oh, good. I gotta go Jasper."

"Cool. Dinner in an hour?" he asked.

"Yep!"

Bella walked briskly back toward the  _Access Entertainment_  offices, searching for Victoria. It took her a good twenty minutes to find her boss. She was leaning against the wall, chatting with a security guard who wore his long, blond hair back in a ponytail. His uniform identified him as James.

Bella cleared her throat, trying to get Victoria's attention. When that didn't work she said her name softly. Then loudly.

"What?" Victoria demanded, turning away from James with a scowl. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

"The editing bay is only open for an hour. You said you wanted to get that segment done," Bella said mildly, ignoring her boss's fit of temper.

The look Victoria leveled on her then was scathing. "You need to get on the ball. That segment is dead – it's been pushed to next week. If you can't-"

Bella was distracted from Victoria's tongue lashing when she felt a hand rest on her belly. She recoiled away, turning to hiss at James, "Do _not_  touch me."

James whistled, and then laughed, shaking his head. "Damn, Vicky. You have some touchy employees."

Without waiting to see what Victoria's response would be to that, Bella pivoted and walked away from them. Her temper was rising, and she didn't want to do something she would regret. With less than an hour left of her day, Bella decided it wouldn't be unforgivable if she simply hid from the rest of the world – or at least, the rest of the studio. Since the editing bay was open, she locked herself inside and breathed easy for the first time that day.

Not ten minutes went by before her phone rang. Jacob – she'd forgotten to call him back.

"Sorry, Jake," she answered the phone. "Today's been a little crazy."

"No problem. Hey listen, I was wondering if we could get together tonight. Your place preferably."

"I don't know," Bella said wearily. "I was supposed to go to dinner with Jasper, but I'm actually pretty tired."

There was a pause on the other end, and Jacob sighed. "Okay well, let me get this out now."

Jacob went on to tell her that he'd gone to see Edward the night before. He admitted that he wanted to talk to Edward – especially after a few drinks.

"Jake!" Bella admonished, exasperated. "He had a flight early this morning and you were trying to get him plastered? Why?"

"Hey, I stayed over and made sure he got on the damn plane, okay? It's not like I wanted him to lose his job or anything. Look, in my defense he was already a little tipsy when I got there," Jacob placated. "People are more honest when they're drunk, and I needed the truth out of him."

"The truth about what, Jacob?" Bella demanded.

That was when Jacob told her that after several drinks and what he insisted were perfectly innocent questions, Edward had absolutely broken down. He'd started babbling all of his fears, and all the secrets he'd held since this whole situation had begun.

He didn't want to be a father.

He never had.

In the beginning, he'd felt honor-bound not to walk away. He still felt responsible. But he knew there was a big difference between being responsible for a life and being a dad. He liked his life the way it was – uncomplicated. He couldn't imagine complicating it with a child. It just wasn't in his life plan.

Bella listened with lead in her gut and a vice-like grip around her heart. When Jacob was done talking, her head was spinning. "Why are you... Why did you…" She couldn't seem to form sentences correctly.

"Bells, you know I don't want to hurt you," he said softly and sincerely. "But, I just think it's better that you find out now than if you found out a year from now, when you were really invested. Isn't it better dealing with this now than it would be if walked out on you and your daughter when he got tired of playing daddy?"

"People don't change. People who've never wanted kids don't suddenly become great parents," Jacob continued when she didn't answer.

Bella hung up on her friend before she even realized she'd moved.

For brief minutes, she grasped at straws, trying to rationalize. If she had met Edward after the baby was born it would have been different. He obviously cared for the baby's well-being, and was considerate of her needs being pregnant. If Edward was just 'Mommy's boyfriend', he didn't have to be attached to the baby as his.

But therein was the problem. The baby was his.

Abruptly she was filled with shame. Charlie was right – there was no separation. She'd allowed her feelings about Edward to cloud what was best for her daughter. It didn't matter what she wanted. It didn't matter that she was in love with him. She had to do what was right for her baby.

Her heart twisted painfully, on the verge of breaking. The more she thought about it, the more she understood how stupid she'd been. Months ago she'd understood where he was at. It wasn't in his plan to have children, but a lot of people were taken by surprise in that regard. He felt responsible. He couldn't walk away, leaving his progeny with a near total stranger when he had no idea what kind of a mother she would be. If the shoe were on the other foot, she wouldn't have been able to walk away entirely either.

But then she'd let her growing feelings for him take precedence. She found herself right back at square one – wondering if there was any way to protect her daughter from a man who didn't want her – with one additional complication. Now she was reeling from the loss of a relationship she'd barely begun to accept.

Because she couldn't be with a man who didn't love his daughter the way she deserved to be loved.

Bella fumbled with the door to the editing bay, needing to get out of the building before she broke down completely.

In the hallway, she ran straight into Jasper.

"Hey, I was just looking for you," Jasper began before he saw the look in her eyes. "Bella – what happened?"

"Nothing," she said, trying to get around him but he grabbed her arm. "Please let me go. I need to go."

Jasper studied her carefully for a moment. He'd known her long enough to understand that something was very, very wrong. "I'm going to get the car. Meet me outside. And don't argue, I'm not going to let you drive right now."

He turned and left before she could protest. Bella took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check for just a few more minute. She turned the opposite direction that she'd been heading – toward the front of the building instead of the back.

"…looking for Bella Swan?" a smooth, male voice cut into Bella's consciousness. She looked up, seeing Victoria and James still at the end of the hallway, talking. Standing next to them was a tall, slim man with dirty blond hair. He might have been good looking except that he was scowling.

Victoria looked up, seeing her down the hall and jerked her chin in that direction. "She's over there."

The man turned and his glare was so angry that Bella immediately felt like running the other way. Before she could react he was striding toward her. She hated her wildly swinging emotion and the tremor of fear that went through her. "Can I help you with something?"

The man immediately began ranting and raving, stepping into her personal bubble – intimidating her though he didn't touch her. It took a while for Bella to understand that he was one of Rosalie's fans, and he had figured out that she was the one that had some sort of vendetta against his favorite model.

When it became obvious that the man was not listening to a word she said, Bella tried to simply walk away. The man followed her, still yelling. They both brushed past Victoria and James – who were staring in amusement – and out the front door.

Flustered and desperate to get away, Bella didn't notice where she was putting her feet. Her right foot landed mostly off the first step. Because she was cringing away from the persistent fanboy, she was even more off balance than usual. She pitched forward, arms scrambling to find some place to hold, but the hand rail was too far away. She impacted on her side and tumbled down the ten stairs, hitting the ground on her back. Instantly, instinctively, Bella curled inward, her hands hugging her middle. She hurt everywhere, but it was the sharp, shooting pains that radiated from her abdomen that sent a cold, unforgiving finger of fear directly down her spine.

"Bella!" Several sets of footsteps ran toward her, but it was Jasper's voice that cut through her haze. "Bella," he said again, softer. His voice was closer then, like he was kneeling at her side. She couldn't see because her eyes were screwed tightly shut against the pain and rising panic.

There was a high pitched, wheezing sound that was driving her to distraction. Bella couldn't think, couldn't get her thoughts to focus at all. Someone was chanting the word no over and over, sounding like a train speeding up toward hysteria. She wanted to scream at the voice to shut the hell up... until she realized it was her.

"Bella, baby," Jasper's voice again, soothing but urgent. "Honey, open your eyes. Look at me. Let me help you, sugar, look at me." His hands cupped her clammy face, turning it slightly toward him.

Bella's eyes fluttered open, darting around frantically. She saw several people looming over her before her eyes finally settled on Jasper's. She gasped, realizing belatedly that her breaths were too short and quick to fill her lungs.

"You have to calm down, Bella," Jasper commanded gently, stroking her cheek in a calming motion.

"It hurts," she breathed out in a plaintive, desperate voice. "Jasper…the baby. I can't…"

"Shh, shh," he soothed. "Sweetheart, just breathe, okay? Deep, steady breaths." He held her gaze, breathing with her for a moment while she calmed. "Is there anything wrong with your neck or your back?"

Bella whimpered as another wave of pain rocked through her middle. Her back ached, but it didn't feel broken. Her neck was fine. "It hurts here," she tightened her arms around her middle. "It feels like… Oh, God." She couldn't bring herself to say it. It felt like someone had jammed a red hot poker in her side, but beyond that, the sharp pains that accompanied it, tightening her muscles at varying intervals, felt like contractions.  _Too soon, too soon, too soon_.

"Breathe, baby. It'll be fine, okay? You're going to be just fine," Jasper reminded.

"I'm on the phone with 9-1-1," James said.

"Tell them not to come," Jasper ordered, getting his arms under Bella. His voice, as he addressed James was harsh and angry. "I'll take her. The hospital is close by anyway. Tell them to get on the line with Cedar's Sinai's ER and let them know we're coming. Then you do your g'damn job and get his ass," he gestured with his chin at the contrite and horrified looking fanboy, "off the property. He shouldn't have even been here in the first place."

He didn't wait for anyone else to respond. Instead, Jasper lifted her up carefully, walking as quickly as he dared to the car. Once he had her settled they drove, Jasper trying to distract her along the way.

The paramedics met them at the ambulance bay, and Jasper hopped out long enough to squeeze her hand reassuringly. "I'll call your dad, and Edward, okay? We'll all be here."

Bella clasped his hand tightly, not letting him pull away for a moment. "Don't call Edward."

**~0~**

The evening passed in a rush of examinations and more doctors than Bella could keep up with. They were able to stop the contractions and admitted her for observation after determining that she was just very bruised. Nothing was broken save her hand, and that was just a minor fracture.

Jasper found out that the fanboy who had come after her was named Demetri Simis. He was Rosalie's hairdresser, and had often listened to her rants about Bella. She had, of course, kept their private association a secret, but it was plenty for the overprotective fan to latch onto. After seeing the paparazzi photo a few days before and then the interview on Ellen, he'd decided that someone should give Bella Swan a talking to.

Demetri was currently being held on trespassing charges. James the security guard had been let go. Jasper had it on good authority that Victoria and Aro had disappeared for hours on end into her office and when he emerged, she was seen crying at her desk.

As for Rosalie, she seemed to have disappeared completely. The word going around the studio was that she had requested an emergency leave of absence, gone to tape the Ellen show, and then had gone away somewhere with Alice. Jasper found that idea highly likely as Alice's phone was off when he tried to call.

That suited Bella just fine. No matter how Jasper and her father tried to argue with her, she wouldn't let them call Edward or any of the Cullens. Instead, she ignored his phone calls except to send him a text that she was busy for the weekend.

By Sunday night she was told she would be released the following morning and put on strict bed rest for at least a week. Spending the weekend in bed, the whirlwind of emotions she was already feeling amplified by a haze of medications, left her utterly exhausted physically and mentally.

Because she was expecting Jasper, Bella picked up her ringing phone absently.

"Bella?" Edward's voice asked, sounding pleased to have finally gotten a hold of her.

At the sound of his voice, a wave of longing so strong she actually felt dizzy with its pull washed over Bella. She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of his breaths on the other end of the phone.

If she told him what was going on he would come home - she knew that without a doubt. He would fawn over her and take care of her, pressing tender kisses to her forehead.

"Bella? Are you crying?" Edward's voice was tinged with fear. "Jesus, are you okay? Bella?"

If she told him - she wondered if he would feel any concern at all for the baby. Would he even care? She understood that he was concerned for her, but did he even think about his daughter?

"Bella?" His voice sounded frantic.

Bella opened her mouth, and started speaking through her tears.

**~0~**

Jasper entered the hospital, somewhat disgruntled that he was there so late. There was only about an hour left of visiting hours. He'd only left Bella's side because Aro had called him in - his lawyers asking questions, undoubtedly trying to weasel his way out of any potential lawsuit.

He approached Bella's room, about to knock when the sounds coming from the direction of her bed stopped him. She was laying on her side, turned away from him. She was crying - hard.

Quickly, Jasper crossed the room, going around to her side of the bed. Her hands were balled into fists in her hair, her face turned into her pillow. She was sobbing miserably, completely oblivious to his presence. It took him a minute to realize she was repeating the same phrase over and over again under her breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Bella," he said quietly, unsure of what was happening. He thought about calling a nurse but figured if there was something physically wrong with her, they would have read it on their monitoring equipment. He petted her hair gently, and her head came up with a gasp. Her eyes, when she looked at him, were so raw and bloodshot they were nearly closed. "Baby, what-"

She didn't speak at first, just wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her. Though it was slightly awkward as he was sitting in a chair beside her bed, Jasper did his best to put his arms around her. Her sobs renewed, and he felt her hot tears slide down his neck. "I think... I think I made a mistake," she whispered.

**~0~**

Edward Cullen sat in his hotel room in Chicago in exactly the same position he'd been sitting in when he'd called Bella. A minute could have passed, or hours on end; time had ceased to mean anything to him. Bella's words repeated over and over in his head, but no matter how he tried he could not make any sense of them. His mind would not process the noises into meaning - as if she'd been speaking some alien language instead of English.

_"I... Edward... the baby is gone. I lost her. I fell, and... she's gone," Bella could barely speak, she was crying so hard. He opened his mouth to speak but found his voice was absent. She continued. "I need... I need..."_

_He wanted her to say that she needed him. He was already searching for his voice, trying to form the words._ I'll be there as soon as I can _._

_"I need time. I need you to ... leave me alone for a little while. Please. Please don't try to see me. I'll call you."_

_Then the call dropped as she hung up._

Ever since then, Edward had been sitting on the edge of his bed, staring blankly at the phone in his hand.

The moment she'd hung up, everything got far away. The cacophony of the busy, Chicago evening faded into white noise in the background. His tangible body felt like nothing more than a shell that housed a soul that was only dimly self aware. Words had no meaning and so the building tension in his mind had no definition.

A knock on his door sent him into sudden action. There was something bubbling in his veins – at the very center of his being – that was frightening in its power. Adrenaline shot through him – a fight or flight feeling giving his limbs forward motion. He needed to do something physically. He felt as if he could run straight from Chicago to Los Angeles.

If he stopped moving, whatever was brewing beneath the surface of his consciousness would overtake him. He was suddenly entirely certain of that fact.

Edward ran to the door and hurled it open, breezing past Mike without even seeing him standing there. "Edward! Edward!" Mike called, following after him.

Ignoring his editor, Edward slammed on the down arrow of the elevator. When the doors didn't open instantly he began pacing the small space.

"Edward, what the hell is wrong with you?" Mike demanded, putting a hand on his shoulder. He was taken aback when Edward looked at him. "Dude. You're… fucking green. Did you eat something rank?"

"No," Edward shook his head, raking his fingers through his hair. "No, I need to go home. Right now." He slammed on the down button again in complete agitation.

"The flight leaves in the morning-" Mike started, but Edward cut him off.

"It's not soon enough! I need to be there now. Right now," Edward yelled, pivoting on his heel and heading for the stairs.

Mike was right behind him, his footsteps falling right along with Edward's. "What, you're going to run down 16 flights of stairs? Jesus Christ, Edward. Stop right now and tell me what's going on!"

Gripping the railing with enough pressure his hands ached, Edward swung around to face his editor. "I need to go home! Bella… I need to get to her."

"What happened? Is she okay?" Mike's voice echoed behind him as Edward kept on descending.

"I don't know. I mean. Yeah, she's… she lost the baby,"

"Oh.. God. Well, that's just…" Mike stumbled, obviously not knowing what to say. They'd gone down another three flights before he offered, "Well, that sucks a lot, but maybe it's for the better, you know?"

Edward stopped cold in his tracks. Abruptly furious, he swung around to face Mike. "What?" he demanded, incredulous. "What do you mean for the better? How could you say that?"

Mike's eyes went wide. "I-I-I I just mean that sometimes it's for the best. You know, this way you don't have to deal with some other guy interfering with your relationship."

"It's mine, Mike. My baby," Edward all but bellowed. He turned then and started sprinting down the steps.

Mike didn't follow.

**~0~**

The next fifteen hours of his life were hell on earth.

Edward arrived at O'Hare to discover that Mike had called ahead. He was already booked on the earliest flight available. Unfortunately, it still didn't leave until close to 7 A.M. Chicago time.

Confusion and agitated restlessness were all he would let himself feel. The confusion couldn't be helped. There was something very off – too many holes in his knowledge for him to cope with.

Edward had been on edge all weekend where Bella was concerned, unable to shake the nervous feeling that had come over him as he drove away from her place on Thursday night.

When Jacob called, he'd been surprised to say the least. He wanted to say no outright. The only reason he wasn't still with Bella was because he had to pack, and he had to be up so early that he hadn't wanted to bother her.

But Jacob had convinced him, saying that he wanted to clear the air between them, that was all. He volunteered to go to Edward's house _. "I'll just keep you company,"_  Jacob had said.

Wanting to be able to tell Bella that he was trying with even the most antagonistic of her friends, Edward had reluctantly agreed. As he packed and waited for Jacob to arrive, he'd been unable to stop thinking about Bella, and how she would react to knowing that his views on fatherhood weren't changing. Desperate to relax, he'd downed a shot of whiskey, then another.

He remembered Jacob arriving. He remembered drinking more through the awkward, stilted conversation. Both men were trying, but Jacob kept on alluding to the baby and it made Edward drink even more.

The next thing he remembered was Jacob shaking him awake and all but pouring him into a cab pointed toward LAX.

When Bella hadn't answered his calls or responded to his texts except to say that she was busy, Edward couldn't help but think that she was angry about something.

Then this. When had it happened? How? Why hadn't someone called him?

Edward was on the phone as soon as his flight landed. Bella's phone was off. So was Jasper's. In a moment of complete desperation, Edward called Jacob.

It was obvious from the other man's acerbic tone that whatever had gone down on Thursday night had not been positive. "I just need to know what hospital she's in," Edward pleaded.

There was a long pause on the other end, and then a sigh. "She's being released now. Look, Jasper and I are taking care of her - like we always have. Just leave her alone."

"Can I-"

"No! She doesn't want to see you. Get a clue."

It was worse when he went to her house, only to have Jacob deny him entrance. They argued in increasingly louder whispers, trying not to disturb Bella who Jacob insisted was sleeping.

Finally, Jasper came out, pushing Jacob back into the house and taking Edward down the driveway a little ways.

"No one will talk to me!" Edward said, frustrated to the point of insanity. He felt like he would go mad if they didn't let him see her. "Bella's not answering . No one will tell me what happened or how - how-" he couldn't continue.

Jasper, his eyes heavy with sympathy, held his hands out in a placating motion. He sighed. "Bella fell down the stairs of our building on Friday. She's been kind of ... druggy the past few days."

All the breath left Edward at once, draining him of his anger and frustration. "Friday... Christ. Why didn't anyone call me?" he asked, his voice pained.

"Edward..." Jasper began, then his shoulders sagged as he sighed. "Look... give her a little time, okay? She's confused right now."

"She doesn't want to see me," he stated, not asking.

With another sigh, Jasper shook his head sadly.

Edward nodded. Of course she wouldn't want to see him. They hardly even talked about the baby. She would want people around her who could even remotely sympathize. Grief did strange things to people, and he knew everyone had their own way to handle it.

Defeated, Edward did the only thing he could. He drove home on autopilot and went straight to his room. He moved as if he were an old, old man, finding barely enough energy to throw his keys on the table before he shuffled to his room.

For a time his mind was blank. That pressure in the center of him... he could feel it building again, but unlike the night previous he had no energy left to fight it. The deluge was coming, and he couldn't bring himself to care or even try to stop it. He laid on his bed, thinking of nothing and trying not to feel the agony that was beginning to make itself known in the empty space where his heart had been only the day before.

Then Rosalie was just... there. That was when he knew for sure something was very wrong with him. They'd always been able to just know when they needed each other.

Rosalie sat on the bed beside him, but he didn't turn to look at her or even acknowledge that she was there. Her hand was on his back, rubbing in slow, even circles. "Tell me," she said quietly.

He breathed in, out, in, out. "Bella lost the baby," he said, his voice wavering at the last word.

Rosalie's hand on his back stopped. "What?" she exclaimed breathlessly.

"My... my... my daughter," his words were choked as his throat seemed to close. "My daughter is dead."

As soon as he spoke the words, they became real - a tangible weight that he could feel pressing down on his chest, dragging him under the water until he was drowning in it. Grief - there was no image violent enough to accurately describe the way it hit him then. His breath left him in a loud sob.

A thousand images assaulted him - things he hadn't known until that moment that he held dear in his heart. His unconscious mind had stored a barrage of daydreams - moments he'd assembled watching Emmett with his kids, and memories of his own father with him and his siblings. Emmett cradling a tiny baby the day he could hold his daughters for the first time in the NICU. His eyes had shone with wonder, a glowing grin almost splitting his face as he stared down at her. Carlisle with Rosalie as a child, holding her in one arm as he tickled her with his free hand - the little girl shrieking with high pitched giggles. The look he caught on his father and brother's faces sometimes when they watched their children - the pride and awe that they'd had a hand in creating and molding the beautiful creatures in front of them.

And in that moment he knew that he wanted it all. He remembered waking from nightmares in his boyhood and his father being there - remembered the way he'd clung to Carlisle's neck and felt safe from whatever monster plagued his dreams. He wanted that - his own child hanging on to him, trusting him to slay demons and keep them safe. He remembered the way his nieces faces lit up when Emmett had been away for the day and came to retrieve them. He wanted to see his own daughter's face turn into a happy grin, and hear the word, "Daddy," fall excitedly from her lips. He wanted to meet her - this little person that was a combination of him and Bella and completely unique. He wanted it so badly that he couldn't breathe because he knew, though it had been his responsibility to look after them and care for them, he'd failed.

He'd been so busy thinking about his own plans for his life that he hadn't even noticed that fate's plans had become a part of him.

And he'd lost it all without even knowing.

In all of his life, Edward could not remember crying the way he did then. His thoughts were tormented, his body writhing with the anguish he didn't feel strong enough to hold inside of him. His heart hit absolute zero, a loss he didn't know how to comprehend making his head spin and his chest ache.

He was glad that his sister was there , her chest pressed against his back as she held him, her tears hot on his neck as she cried with him. He felt that if she wasn't there to keep him together, he would have flown apart - spontaneously combusting with the volatile sorrow that seemed to soak every pore.

But as much as he was glad she was there, he wished desperately that it was Bella with him, sharing this loss together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *looks around for shelter* So um. Um. Um.
> 
> Well, first off, thanks to Barburella and josieswan for all they do for me. I love them dearly.
> 
> ::cough:: Um… if you're a fan of slash, I participate in a slashfic round robin group called The Slashtastics. Check us out under my favorite authors. The Big Gay Story started posting today.
> 
> I want to say - if you've experienced the loss of a child, I'm so, so sorry. I've been there, and in my situation (where I was honestly better off not having the child) it sucked. I watched my mother lose my sister. I cannot even imagine. My heart goes out to you.
> 
> Alright. Go ahead. Yell at me. You know you want to. I deserve it.


	17. Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Because it wasn't clear to some people - no, she didn't lose the baby. Yes - she lied. I know. It's horrible. Yes, I do have a plan, but I'm going to need your trust. Do we have an accord?
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they own me.

She regretted the words the instant they'd left her mouth.

Everything happened too quickly. With his voice in her ear and her heart shattering, sending shards of pure agony through her chest, she made the same wish that had occurred to every broken-hearted person since the evolution of human emotions:  _I wish I'd never met you._

Who hadn't wished for some cosmic reset button? She'd never wanted to fall in love. She'd never wanted a partner in raising her daughter. Edward, even before they met, had made it clear that he wanted to be an uncle. This wasn't what he wanted either.

The idea flashed through her mind - just an insane what if scenario. What if she could undo it all? Press the reset button.

It took all of half a second to think it, and then the words were tumbling out and away from her. They curdled in her mouth, tasting foul, but by the time her mind fully comprehended what she had done, she had already hit the end button on the call.

Half a second for the thought to spark in her head. Less than 10 seconds to stutter through thirty-eight of the most horrible words she'd ever spoken in her life. And then, if she thought her heart was broken before, she had not known how bad the pain could really get. Guilt and longing made for a trial by fire mixed with an acid burn, both of which consumed her whole. Less than 15 seconds: that's what it took to irrevocably alter her life.

She had no idea how long she'd been crying when Jasper appeared in her hospital room. One look and she'd told him everything she kept from him. She told him in hiccuping gasps about the way she'd gone from fighting Edward to falling for him in the space of a long afternoon. How they'd procrastinated talking about everything - but most of all they'd delicately stepped around the life that was quickly developing in her belly. Thursday night she'd known for sure she was in love with him - for her, a frightening, exhilarating, and overwhelming prospect in and of itself. Friday afternoon Jacob had yanked the wool from over her eyes, breaking her heart and setting in motion the nauseating tailspin she was in now.

But the lie she'd told... the damnable lie.

The look on Jasper's face when she confessed was enough to make her physically ill. Then there was a nurse shooing Jasper away and pushing something into her IV that made Bella's world blur around the edges and fall away.

When she woke up the next morning it was as if the world was turned down - muted in both sound and color. Her heart was so heavy she felt frail. When her eyes met Jasper's in the visitor's chair, she couldn't hold his gaze.

"Bella... what are you going to do?" he asked, his voice quiet and far too calm. She couldn't answer at first. She wanted him to yell. Instead he said, "There's no way you can keep this from Edward, let alone the rest of his family."

"Why not?" she asked, her voice raw with sleep and more tears than she could ever remember shedding all at once. She spoke in a completely flat tone, without emotion because even she knew she was grasping at straws. "All these years and we never ran into each other before. There's no reason for us to run into each other now. And even if it happened, after the first year or so a child's age is difficult to pinpoint. They'll just assume I tried again."

He knelt at her bedside, holding her cheeks gently so she had no choice but to lock eyes with him. "Even if that worked - which we both know it wouldn't - Alice and Rosalie are in my life. That's not going to change. You know it's not fair to ask me to lie to them."

Her mask had crumpled and she put a hand over her eyes, squeezing them shut tight as if she could keep her tears from falling. "I know," she whispered, sniffling. Her breath shuddered as she tried to fill her lungs. She felt like she couldn't get enough air. "I don't know how to undo it," she admitted.

Jasper's hand in her hair, stroking soothingly, was the only thing that kept her tethered to earth. "It's okay, sugar. We'll figure it out. okay?" He waited for her to nod, acknowledging his words. "Now, the doctor was in while you were sleeping. He didn't seem too happy about your uh... episode last night. But he said as long as you keep your stress levels down and stay at the bare minimum of activity for a while, you should be okay at home."

A mixture of relief and trepidation managed to permeate the desolate haze Bella was existing in.

"One of us will be with you all the time. Don't argue with me on that," Jasper warned, tilting his head at her.

"I'm not going to argue," Bella said tiredly. If it was just her welfare on the line it would be a different story, but it wasn't. "Who's we?"

"Charlie, Peter and I... Jacob and Lizzie," her friend answered.

Bella stared off for a few minutes, trying to sort her heavy emotions. She wasn't sure where all her anger belonged - whether it was something she should rightfully shoulder herself or whether she should be angry at Jacob too. The last couple of days she'd feigned sleep when he was around.

Luckily though it was Charlie and Peter who were with her when she was finally discharged. Finally home, Bella almost fell into her bed. She was emotionally spent, in constant - though tolerable - pain from the bruises she'd sustained during the accident, and still under the influence of the drugs they had her on. She slept all day, only waking briefly when her father brought her lunch - and refused to leave until she ate - and the endless trips to the bathroom. Before her rapidly shrinking bladder had irritated her. Now she was filled with a new appreciation for all the side effects of pregnancy. The feeling like she was always just a sneeze away from peeing herself was a small price to pay for the knowledge that her baby was alive and well and kicking like crazy as the drugs wore off.

The light fluttering in her belly was the only spot of happiness Bella had, and she clung to it. Her daughter's very presence was a life raft in a tossing sea - the waves of guilt, shame, fury, and absolute helplessness were battering her, but she had some hope.

When Bella woke again the room was darker than it had been. Almost night time - which in the summer in Los Angeles meant it was probably close to eight or nine. Away from the heaviness of the drugs, Bella felt like she could think a little more clearly. No longer so lost inside her head, she first noticed two familiar voices arguing. She stood carefully, the voices getting clearer as she emerged into the hallway.

"-may be the truth, but what does it matter? Right now you are being the opposite of helpful to this situation," Jasper was whisper yelling harshly.

"You didn't know what I knew," Jacob argued. "You didn't know that he was sitting there, letting her fall for him, when he knew the whole time that nothing had changed about the way he felt about the kid."

Jasper sighed. "Jacob, Bella is-"

"Right here," Bella interrupted, coming into the living room, with her arms crossed.

"Bells," Jacob said, looking guilty. They both looked guilty.

Bella didn't look at him directly. Instead she addressed Jasper. "What happened?"

"Edward was here, looking for you."

Feeling her knees grow weak, Bella sat heavily on the couch. She was surprised at how strongly the rush of panic hit her right on the heals of a powerful yearning. How could she simultaneously want someone as far away from and as close to her as possible? "Did you..."

Jasper shook his head. "I didn't tell him anything except that you fell on Friday. He made his own assumptions from there and didn't ask any additional questions."

"Of course not," Jacob sneered. "I told him-"

Furious, Bella turned in her seat, pointing a finger at Jacob. "I don't want you to talk to him again, do you understand me?"

Jacob's jaw dropped. "Bella, you don't honestly think-"

"What I honestly think is that it was none of your business to do what you did. No!" she held up a hand cutting off his protest. "We were going to talk, Jacob. We were going to talk when he came home from Chicago. Now I won't ever know if he would have been honest with me on his own."

There was a moment or two of uncomfortable silence as the two friends glared at each other. Jacob swallowed hard, obviously holding his tongue for once. "What are you saying?" he asked finally. "You think this is all my fault? Bella, you weren't talking to him. He obviously had his head up his ass. I could see you falling for him, and I knew he was going to hurt you. I mean, if you were together when you got pregnant, and he didn't want the baby, you would have kicked his ass to the curb, right?"

"It doesn't matter what you think I would have done. I'm not a child. It's my life, and my relationship."

"I just thought-"

"I know what you thought. Believe me, I was there on Friday." Bella closed her eyes, trying to calm herself before her rage got the better of her. This emotional pendulum was getting more erratic by the moment. "I understand what you were worried about. I was worried about the same thing - him walking out on both of us," she laid a hand on her belly, "when he remembered that this wasn't what he wanted. But that was for us to work out. Not for you.

"Look, just don't talk to him, okay? The only thing you're doing is making it worse, and believe me, I've done enough of that all by myself."

"I just think you would be better with him out of your life. Sooner rather than later," Jacob tried.

"You just don't know when to quit do you?" Jasper asked, shaking his head.

"Go home, Jake," Bella said through gritted teeth. "Thank you for your help, but please go home."

She looked down studiously. Bella was far from a coward on most days, but there was just too much else to deal with. She didn't want to have an image of her best friend's hurt or furious face to add to the pile.

When his footsteps faded away and the door slammed, Bella let out a long breath. As her anger faded, she slumped, leaning against Jasper for support. He rubbed her shoulders. "Bella... you didn't see his face. He was crushed that you wouldn't speak to him."

Bella knew Jasper wasn't talking about Jacob. "The only reason I let him believe everything was because I knew you wouldn't be thinking clearly if I just let him in," he continued.

Nodding gratefully, Bella turned her face into his chest. She needed the time to gather her thoughts. What on earth was she going to say to him? "He's going to hate me," she whispered.

He hugged her, not refuting that statement because they both knew there was a good chance it was true. Instead, Jasper stood. "I know you don't feel like it, but you need to eat something, okay?" he said softly.

Obedient, and exhausted despite the fact she'd slept all day, Bella merely nodded. The food he set in front of her tasted like cardboard and sand in her mouth, but she managed to swallow it. Then she fell asleep, still clueless as to what she was going to tell Edward, and what the consequences of her actions would be.

**~0~**

Tuesday morning, Edward could hardly open his eyes. He was briefly lost in time, trying to remember where he was and what he had done the previous night. There was a murmuring somewhere nearby that felt out of place, and a throbbing pain in his chest that made it difficult to breathe.

Then light filtered in, and Edward remembered everything. He remembered Bella's trembling voice on Sunday evening and then feeling like he had to run, run, run to escape the avalanche of emotions that nipped at his heels for the next 24 hours. His frustration when no one would answer him - when he didn't know what had happened to Bella. Coming home and crying himself to sleep as his sister tried futilely to soothe him.

And the grief.

As soon as he identified that throbbing in his chest, it intensified, completely closing off his throat. There was a strangled, whining noise that he only barely recognized as his own pained whimper as he closed his eyes, breathing in through his nose. Long, hard seconds passed before he was even able to move again.

It was surreal that he missed so badly someone that he'd never even met. He didn't have a concrete image in his head of his daughter. He didn't even know her name.

Edward grappled then with regret. If only... If only he hadn't been so preoccupied with stubbornly holding on to the life he'd carefully crafted for himself, he might have had the chance to enjoy the life he was gifted with unexpectedly. He wondered if Bella had a name for their daughter. He wished he knew.

He wished for an impossible second chance. If he could only have another chance he would do it right. He would fight with pieces of the crib he would assemble, and talk with Bella about what color they would paint the nursery. Did her house even have a nursery? She had a spare bedroom and an office - was she planning on converting one of those rooms into a nursery? He wanted to argue with her over names.

Would his daughter have been a Swan or a Cullen?

A clatter from somewhere else in the house drew Edward out of his despondent thoughts. He realized belatedly that the murmuring he'd barely registered before were actually people in his house. When he finally fell asleep only Rosalie had been there. Obviously she'd called in the cavalry.

For the third time since he'd opened them, Edward shut his eyes - as if he wouldn't have to acknowledge the world that way. If his mother was here, he knew she would be crying. He didn't know if he could stand the sight of his mother's tears.

He must have fallen asleep again because the next thing he knew, he was awakened by the feel of something little and wriggling at the foot of his bed. Actually - two little, wriggling things that squirmed their way up along his side. The barest hint of a smile quirked at the edge of his lips as he pulled up the comforter to find his nieces staring up at him.

They looked at him carefully and he looked back, trying not to think about the what-ifs that dominated his mind at the sight of his nieces - their little faces reflecting so much of his brother. For once they were quiet, seeming to take in his mood. They only scrambled the rest of the way up his body and clung to his neck, hugging him as tightly as very tiny girls could. Irina pressed a slightly wet kiss against his scruffy cheek and Katrina patted his hair - surely immitating the way her mother comforted her. Edward cuddled them both, helpless to stop the tears that trickled down.

"Girls," an exasperated but gentle voice interrupted the moment. All three of them looked up to see Tanya leaning in the doorway. "I told you to let your uncle sleep."

"He needed hugs!" Katrina protested, her skinny arms almost strangling him.

Edward sat up. "They're okay, Tanya," he assured her, wiping the remnants of his tears away with the backs of his hands. The twins rearranged themselves at his side, still hugging him.

"Unca," Irina said softly, tugging at his shirt. "Why is everyone sad? Auntie Rose is crying in the kitchen so hard!" She sounded so concerned that Edward's heart twisted.

Then he stopped, considering her words. Something was wrong - something besides the obvious. He looked at Tanya. Tanya looks uncharacteristically pensive. She said nothing as she went to his bedside, kissing him once on the forehead before gathering up the nearest twin in her arms.

Filled with a wordless anxiety, Edward got out of bed, absently kissing each of his nieces on the cheek before he walked out the door. He hardly acknowledged his father and brother when he saw them in the living room, completely distracted by the strong sobs that filtered in from the kitchen.

At his table he found Alice and his mother sitting on either side of Rosalie, both looking heartbroken and helpless. Alice's hand was on Rosalie's arm, and Esme's had a hand on his sister's back. Rosalie's head was buried in her arms on the table, and she was obviously crying hysterically.

"What happened?" he bit out, the harshness of his voice startling the three women who hadn't yet realized he was standing there.

Rosalie raised her head slowly, the look in her blood-shot eyes completely vulnerable with remorse. "I-I-I," she stuttered between miserable tears, "I swear I didn't… I would never. I never wanted this to happen. Not even to her, and not to you," she babbled, breaking down at the end. Alice gripped her hand, looking up at Edward with a sorrowful expression.

"What are you talking about?" Edward demanded, his anger rising quickly with his sister's nonsensical babbling. He turned his attention to his mother who'd stood and was walking to him. "What is she talking about?"

"Why don't you sit down, son," his father said gently, joining them from where he had been in the other room.

Completely irritated and on edge now, Edward battled the same fight or flight feeling that made his fists clench and tensed his body for action. With exaggerated movements he pulled a chair over to him. "Fine. I'm sitting. Tell me what's going on now."

Esme sat in front of Edward, holding his hand as she explained that just a few minutes before he woke up, Rosalie had received a call from her hair dresser, Demetri. He wanted to know if she would help him. When she expressed confusion he'd told her what happened on Friday.

"Edward-" Rosalie started, a little calmer than before, but Edward cut her off.

"Do not speak to me right now," he said harshly. He desperately wanted to punch something. Whatever little sanity he had left made him look around, wondering where the twins were. He didn't want them to see whatever was going to happen when he exploded, and given the pressure he felt building in his chest, he wasn't going to be able to put it off for long. Emmett had come in from the living room and was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked lost, like he didn't know which of his siblings needed him more. Tanya and the twins were nowhere to be found. Edward hoped she'd had the sense to get them out of the house.

"Edward-" Rosalie tried again, only to snap her mouth shut when he grabbed up the glass of water that was in front of her and hurtled it at the wall.

"You hate her," Edward roared. "You've always hated her. She did nothing to you, and you had to spread your fucking venom on to a person who never even met her." He didn't even notice that he was standing, leaning over the table at her until he felt his father and brother's hands holding him back. He shrugged them off, "Get off of me," he grumbled at them, turning and striding quickly back to his room.

Softer, but hurried, footsteps followed him. Knowing it had to be his mother, Edward resisted the urge to slam the door in her face. He left the door open and started pacing the room, trying to alleviate the furious energy that was pumping through his veins.

Esme crossed to the bed, sitting and watching him with a pained expression on her face. "You know your sister doesn't hate Bella," she said quietly.

Edward scoffed. "Right, because she's been a real peach to her all this time," he growled.

"There's a big difference between resenting someone and hating them. Even if it weren't for you, Rosalie wouldn't have wished this kind of loss on anyone." Esme's voice was gentle, robbing him of any chance to bite back.

All the energy drained of Edward all at once. He stopped, sinking down on the bed beside her. "Bella won't speak to me, Mom," he said plaintively, laying his head on her shoulder.

"Just keep trying, sweetheart. Grief does terrible things to people. Just keep letting her know that you're here. We're all here." As she spoke, Edward could hear the waver in her voice. Her eyes revealed she'd done her fair share of crying already; she was holding back her tears for his sake.

He shook his head, hiding against her shoulder. "You don't understand. I've been such a jackass."

He confessed then, telling his mother about the budding relationship he'd begun with Bella. How much he enjoyed being with her, talking with her. And how, when he realized that his feelings on parenthood hadn't changed at all, he knew that he would lose her.

How, up until the day before, the thought had crossed his mind that maybe his daughter was better off if he just left her and Bella alone.

But now the choice had been taken away from him. He'd had a chance to have it all – a beautiful, smart, amazing woman at his side and a doubtlessly gorgeous child in his arms – and he'd lost it.

"I even lied to her to get out of going to look at things for the baby," he groaned. "And now with this? Knowing that it was my sister and her big fucking mouth that got this guy to harass her?" He shook his head helplessly. "I wouldn't answer my phone calls either."

**~0~**

All of Tuesday passed. Edward's family milled around him, trying to help. He didn't want to talk. He didn't even want to look at Rosalie. His mother tried to get him to eat but everything had lost its flavor. He didn't even remember what hunger was.

Every time Edward tried to call Bella, his call went straight to voice mail. Finally, around noon on Wednesday, Edward tried to visit again. The house was silent, with no additional cars in the driveway besides Bella's Volvo. He stood on the porch for a few minutes, trying to decide if he should knock. He definitely didn't want to disturb her if she was sleeping.

Resting his hand on the doorknob he found it unlocked. Edward furrowed his eyebrows, worrying automatically. He went into the house.

Everything was just as he remembered it, of course, and he felt a brief pang for life as it had been the previous week. Shaking it off – the last thing she needed was for him to be a mess – Edward continued into the house, toward her room. Sure enough, Bella appeared to be asleep, her back to him but moving with her even breaths. Just the site of her made him feel just the slightest bit calmer. He moved around the bed as quietly as he could, needing to see her face.

Edward found himself suddenly unable to breathe.

She looked so small and breakable, curled on top of the covers. The shorts and shirt she slept in didn't cover all that much of her skin, and so he could see the myriad of horrible bruises and small cuts that littered her body. One of her hands was wrapped and braced. The worse of her injuries appeared to be a painful looking bruise that blemished her right side.

But all of that wasn't what stole his breath. It wasn't what had seared every thought in his mind to blank, brilliant white.

Peeking out above the line of her shorts and below the hemline of her shirt was her belly – still rounded and firm as he remembered it.

She was still pregnant.

For long moments his brain stumbled, trying to grasp a coherent thought. He couldn't comprehend the sight in front of him. Then, he felt a relief so profound it shook his body, making his legs go weak and sending him to his knees. He wanted to weep. His baby, his daughter was alive. Everything he'd believed was irrevocably lost was his to grasp again.

But right on the heels of that deep joy was a severe furor that built from the bottom of his feet, intensified in the pit of his stomach, and quickly made his body strain with the madness of rage.

She'd lied.

It took every last semblance of self control for him not to grab her and shake her awake. He wanted to demand an explanation. He wanted to scream at her. The last few days of his life had been hellfire and damnation on earth, and it was all for nothing. The baby had been fine all along.

When he felt the urge to lash out physically, Edward quickly got to his feet and stumbled out of the room, putting as much space between them as he could without actually leaving. He found himself in her kitchen, staring blankly at the spot where they'd shared their first kiss. His vision swam, and the tender emotion he'd felt for her seemed to physically burn him.

He didn't know how long he paced her kitchen, running his hands through his hair and tugging just to relieve some of the tension in his body, when the front door opened again. He looked up as the quick footfalls went first to Bella's bedroom, and then, slower, throughout the house until they found him in the kitchen. It was Jasper.

"Why?" he demanded, not knowing if he was asking why Bella had lied or why Jasper let him believe the lie.

Jasper let out a slow breath, putting the bag he was carrying on the counter. "I'm sorry. I couldn't tell you right then. Bella was asleep, and it's something that you two need to talk about, obviously."

"You're damn right we're going to talk about it. What the fuck was she thinking?" A part of Edward knew it was unfair to demand those types of answers from Jasper, but at the moment he had no where else to aim his anger.

"I need you to listen to me, okay?"

Exasperated, Edward gave him a disparaging look. "I'm all ears," he said sarcastically.

"No, really," Jasper said, his tone soft but firm. "I can imagine how angry you are right now, and you have every right to be angry, but I need you to hear what I'm telling you."

Edward leveled his livid glare at Jasper only to be met with earnest, sympathetic blue eyes. Jasper never wavered, nor did his expression ever harden. Denied even the slightest provocation, Edward sat down, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand as he forced himself to count to 10. When that failed to calm him down he counted to 100.

"I'm listening," he said finally, not looking up at Jasper but continuing to take deep breaths.

Jasper explained exactly what had happened, starting with Jacob's phone call. Bile rose in Edward's throat as he tried to remember that night. He could easily imagine how Bella would have felt when she knew that he didn't want a daughter. Imagining that very scenario had been what drove him to start drinking in the first place. Still, he felt a fresh rush of anger at Jacob for taking that away from him. Even though Jacob's words were nothing but the truth – at the time – they should have come from him.

"Try to imagine how she felt right then," Jasper implored. "She was terrified because everything with the baby was touch and go all weekend. She felt so ashamed because she said she put her wants above the baby's in pursuing a relationship with you – which I didn't even know about until Sunday night. And she was so groggy with the drugs they had her on, it was hard for her to think straight about anything, let alone what she was feeling about you."

Edward's jaw was clenched so tightly that it ached. He didn't respond, didn't look up. He was still entirely livid, but part of him was still conscious enough to fill in the blanks of what Jasper wasn't saying. He knew Bella. He knew that she had only barely opened herself up to the possibility of love and a relationship. Having your heart broken was horrendously painful. Having your heart broken for the first time was agony and enmity on top of bewilderment.

He knew. He was experiencing it.

All of that and she was pregnant besides. Obviously, he didn't know what those hormones were like, but he'd been present for a wide range of mood swings from both Alice and Tanya.

Edward didn't know what to think. Before he could process the increasingly louder voices in his head, a soft, scratchy voice called from across the house, "Jasper?"

"Gimmie a minute, sugar," Jasper called back. He was staring at Edward. "Edward, she regretted it the second she said it. You should have seen her. They had to sedate her to even get her to calm down that night. She's been trying to figure out how to tell you, but every time she tries to think about it she starts to hyperventilate."

"She's upset?" Edward asked scathingly, his blood pressure rising again. "She should have thought of that before."

"Hey," Jasper's voice was sharp for the first time. "She's on bed rest for a reason, bud. She gets too upset, there's a chance she'll end up right back at the hospital."

Edward was silent, momentarily shamed by his outburst. He might be pissed as hell at Bella, but the last thing he wanted was to put his daughter in danger. "I want to see her," he said tightly.

Jasper studied him, looking slightly skeptical. "If you're going to go in there I need you to promise me you're going to keep your cool." When Edward nodded his assent, Jasper reached behind him to retrieve something from the bag he'd brought in. He handed Edward the take-out box. "Here. She needs to eat. It takes one of us standing over her for her to force anything down."

Edward gripped the box tightly, his fury peaking again. "What is she trying to do? Starve herself? The baby-"

"Enough," Jasper cut him off. "She forgets. She's completely lost her appetite so she forgets that she hasn't eaten. She's doing everything she can to take care of herself and the baby, Edward. You know better than that. Again, I realize you're upset. Rightfully so, but she doesn't need the added stress."

Making himself breathe deeply again, Edward nodded at Jasper and pushed off his chair. About half way to Bella's door, he realized he was gnashing his teeth, and made himself pause until he could stop.

When he went in the door, Bella was sitting on the edge of the bed, her back to him. She looked again so small and vulnerable – her shoulder's slumped and her head hanging – that he was able to completely tame the worst of his fury.

There was still plenty anger to go around though.

He stepped into the room, walking to her side of the bed and leaning past her to put her food on the nightstand. He didn't look at her, but heard her ragged gasp when he came into her eyesight. He studiously looked anywhere but her as he straightened up and put a little distance between them, leaning against the wall with his arms cross over his chest.

Time froze when they looked at each other. Her eyes were wide and mortified. Her breaths came in little pants, but she wasn't panicking. It was amazing how many emotions he could read in the brown depths – fear, shame, guilt, sadness, anger. They were all there.

He imagined his eyes reflected the dark cloud of betrayal he seemed to be under.

The atmosphere between them was thick and tense, making it difficult to think, let alone speak. But somehow, Bella found her words. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. Her voice had so little volume she almost mouthed it.

It took some effort for Edward to unclench his jaw, but he didn't drop her gaze as he answered. "How could you do this to me?"

Her face crumpled, but she valiantly fought back. It took her a minute to steady herself. "It never should have happened that way. I'm sorry for that. So sorry. I just… I couldn't stop thinking that you didn't want her."

"Because that's what Jacob told you," Edward countered, his words biting.

She looked him in the eye then. "He shouldn't have done what he did, but that doesn't make it not true. You never wanted this baby. It was stupid – so stupid – but it was the only thing I could think of that would put us both back where we were six months ago. I have no problem raising this girl on my own. I get that you have a sense of responsibility to her, but you don't want her."

"But I  _do_  want her!" Edward hissed, coming off the wall but holding himself back from stepping toward her. He raked a hand through his hair in frustration. "I didn't know how much I wanted her until…" Remembering the utter anguish he'd felt knowing his child was gone rekindled his anger in full force. "You have no idea what it was like these past few days, knowing my baby… my baby was dead and you wouldn't talk to me."

They were both silent then, neither of them knowing quite what to say next. Edward's temper was getting the better of him. He was furious at just about everyone right then. Rosalie for hating Bella. Jacob for putting his nose where it didn't belong. Jasper for letting him believe Bella's lie. Himself - because he had felt that way; what was the first thing that had come out of his mouth the day he met Bella? He'd expected her to get an abortion because that's what he himself wanted. And Bella... of course, he was quickly losing his ability to speak to her calmly.

"Look, I'm going to go. But I need you to understand something right now. We're going to work out a schedule so we can share custody of the baby. Down the middle, as much as possible. I know she has to be with you more at first, so I'll be accommodating to that. But we're going to work out something, and you're going to stick with it." He stared at her, ignoring the stricken look on her face. "Don't fight me on this, Bella. I'd like to keep this as pleasant as possible. We'll write everything down and you'll sign it." With that he turned, heading for her door. But before he left he added one last thing.

"If you do fight me, I  _will_ fight back."

Then he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *winces, looks around* Whelp. The good news is, this is rock bottom. Only direction to go is up, right? Okay - obviously, since the last time I talked about it - I have reassessed how many chapters it's gonna take to finish this. These kids seriously have a mind of their own, so your guess is as good as mine. However, it's not going to be 30 chapters. I'm thinking more along the 25 mark. We'll have to see.
> 
> Barbaurella made me an OSSIM banner. Checkit out in my profile. She is indispensable to me. Poor her. Also, send some love TwilightMundi's way... she beta'ed this for me. Flove. Flove all around.
> 
> Tell me a cute kid story?


	18. Blame is Much Too Messy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Good lord! You guys are so philosophical. I want to put you all in a room and see the arguments that happen. I'm loving your reviews. Unfortunately, I only go through half of them this time (bad me). Working on it. Working on it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I'm just playing with these beautiful creatures, not profiting from them.

**~0~**

**  
** _**"Maybe the moral higher ground ain't as high as it seems** _ **  
** _**Maybe we are both good people, done some bad things,"** _

_**~Hour Follows Hour, Ani DiFranco** _

_**  
** _

**~0~**

"...getting worse. I don't know what to do with her. I've never seen her like this."

"Take it easy, Charlie."

Bella stirred, the hushed conversation happening somewhere close by becoming clear as the haze of sleep fell away. She didn't move, unable to find the energy to do so even if she wanted to.

"She's just a little sad right now," Jasper was telling her father. "What do they call it? The weepies?"

"Yeah, there's one problem with your logic there, kid: she's not weeping," he said the last as if it were a dirty word. "Now I'm no psychologist, but I know depression when I see it."

Bella closed her eyes again, feeling frustrated tears gather behind the closed lids.

It had been two weeks since the fantastic blowout after Edward found out she was still pregnant. She'd seen him twice, both times during doctor's visits. He hadn't looked at her at all. Hadn't spoken to her. He'd touched her once, when she stumbled, and he put his arm around her to make sure she didn't fall, but he'd let her go as soon as she was steady.

The minute Edward left that first day, Bella had been angry. The only thing that had kept her from marching right after him to tell him where he could stick his custody talk was that when she stood up, her center of balance was off. She fell right back down on the bed.

Calm.

Speaking without thinking had done enough damage. Bella took the second chance, forcing herself to understand what he'd said before she flew off the handle herself.

That was when his words sunk into her. " _I do want her! I didn't know how much I wanted her until.."_

Until he thought she was gone.

Then she understood his anger completely. In the hospital, for long hours that turned into days, she stared into a dark, bleak abyss - faced with the terrible fear that she was going to lose the baby. She'd teetered on the edge of that blackness for the better part of Friday night. The very thought caused her heart to seize. It was a fear and a horror so intense it robbed her of words. Unimaginable - and indescribable.

If Edward felt even half of that...

Bella felt sick. Sick with guilt knowing she'd caused someone she cared for so much pain, and sick with helplessness over what would happen next. Over the next two weeks, every horror story she'd ever heard about custody arrangements ran through her head. As it was, she was torn between anger and horror at the prospect of her baby not being with her for large chunks of time. Trying to imagine dealing with a man who might not let go of his animosity was a prospect she didn't want to, but couldn't help thinking about.

The child of divorced parents, Bella knew she was lucky when it came to her parents' custody arrangements. Her father had mostly left her alone - not because he didn't want her, but because he knew that Renee could give her a more stable life. Then he'd welcomed her with open arms when she went to live in Forks at 17.

But Charlie and Renee had been friends, even after their marriage fell apart. She had no idea what the future would bring for her relationship with Edward. Despite his threat, he'd had yet to bring out any sort of paperwork.

Then again, he'd have to talk to her to do that.

Charlie's voice drew Bella out of her dark thoughts. "She won't tell me what's going on with that ... that ... what's his name. The baby's father?"

_Oh, shit. Evasive action required._

"Dad," she admonished in a scratchy voice, bringing herself into a sitting position. "Stop antagonizing Jasper. He doesn't have control over what I do." She noticed her voice as flat - totally devoid of inflection - and frowned, wondering how long it had been like that.

"Sorry, Bells," Charlie said, standing and coming to sit beside her on the couch. He looked her over, grimacing at whatever he saw. Bella self consciously ran her fingers through the snarls in her hair. "I just worry about you, kid, that's all. I know you're going through a hard time."

"I'm fine," Bella insisted, not looking at his earnest brown eyes.

"You're not fine. You never go anywhere."

Bella grumbled under her breath, trying to keep the annoyance from her tone. "I was just taken off bed rest two days ago," she pointed out. She made the mistake of looking up. Seeing all the concern her father had for her, Bella made an effort to sit up a little straighter. "Besides… I am going out. Jasper and I have plans."

Jasper, standing directly behind Charlie, made a surprised face. Bella silently begged him to play along. "Jasper's taking me um… shopping."

Charlie's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You hate shopping."

"No one hates shopping for clothes for baby girls," Jasper inserted. "Bella and I are going to run the town out of pink, aren't we doll?"

Bella had to struggle to hide her glare. She hated pink. Jasper knew it.

When Peter came over, Charlie left for the day, and Bella got to wondering if they needed back up to deal with her now. She blinked when she realized there wasn't any reason they should still be with her in shifts; off of bed rest, she was more than capable of taking care of herself.

Wasn't she?

Before she could slump over again, Jasper and Peter sat down on either side of her, making a Bella sandwich of sorts. They were going to double team her. She could tell.

"Aren't we through with secrets? Why haven't you told Charlie everything that's going on?" Jasper asked.

"It's not a secret. It's just that he's going to want to do something about it and there's nothing he can do. I don't think he would, but I don't want him getting in Edward's face, or feeling like he wanted to." Bella crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't need a repeat of Jacob."

Too tired to keep up her anger, Bella had grudgingly forgiven Jacob for his transgression after a five days straight of his begging. Her forgiveness was conditional; if he looked at Edward with so much as a glower again there were going to be words. But Jacob had been her best friend since high school. Nothing was going to change that.

The last thing she needed was for her father to follow in Jacob's footsteps.

"He brought up a good point though," Jasper said quietly. "Bella, you're scaring all of us. This depression... it just isn't like you."

Bella laughed bitterly. "I don't know who I am right now," she said in a small voice. "I never meant to fall-"

She bit her lip, cutting off because the words sounded both odd and painful. Hadn't she sworn to herself she'd never be here?

"You're in love with him," Jasper finished quietly. "Of course you are. You call out for him in your sleep," he murmured, brushing her stringy hair out of her eyes.

Bella's lower lip quivered but she managed to control the tears that threatened. "That doesn't surprise me," she admitted. Her dreams and nightmares both had been plagued by his presence. She couldn't escape him, even in sleep.

It was an endless cycle of grief and regret. At any given moment she missed him horribly; the smallest thing could remind her of what she'd only briefly held in her hand. She would see something on television that she wanted to tell him about only to remember that there were no more chances for endless, easy conversation. Her bed, her whole house, was heavy with the memories of him, and her heart didn't know what to do but ache.

But then, Edward was also the man who had some control over her daughter's life.

Both sides of the coin were equal weights tugging on her in a tumultuous sea. She felt completely lost and alone with nothing but choppy waters in either direction. She felt like she was seconds away from drowning and helpless to stop the waves from pulling her under.

Suddenly very tired again, Bella put her head in her hands. "What I felt... feel... doesn't matter. All that matters is her," she put one hand on her belly. "I'm going crazy waiting for him to make his demands, but at the same time I don't want him to, so I don't ask."

Both of them rubbed her back. It was a moment before Peter spoke. "So, here's what I don't get," he said, speaking slowly as if trying to put the pieces together. "He wasn't intending to be the father of the other baby, right? He donated his sperm. How does that equate to him having any rights at all? Didn't he sign some sort of agreement?"

"If he did, the agreement would have been between him and Alice," Jasper explained. "Edward never had an agreement with Bella. The mix up was not his fault any more than it was hers."

"The baby is biologically his," Bella put in, her voice drained of emotion. "Any custody fight would be dependent on the way a judge sees it, but given that neither of us has done anything that would make us unfit parents - by any measurable standard - I can't imagine we wouldn't end up sharing custody in some way." Her voice wavered at the end and again she had to breathe deeply, still hating how much more intense her every emotion felt since she'd gotten pregnant.

She had resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to deal with sharing her daughter. All there was to figure out now was under what circumstances. It seemed so impossible that they would reach the kind of friendly relationship Charlie and Renee had. Not only was Edward furious with her, but she had every reason to believe that the rest of his family hated her too.

That theory was tested the very next day.

For the first time in two weeks, Bella was alone in her home. After realizing how badly she was scaring everyone, she made a concerted effort to try to be a little more energetic. After she showered and fought the awkwardness of her growing belly to shave her legs, Bella felt slightly more human that she had the previous evening. The reflection in the mirror looked a little less like a zombie - though the pallor of her skin was still a sickly gray-white color and her eyes were sunken, heavy bags making it look as if she hadn't spent the majority of the last two weeks in bed.

That was the state she was in when she opened the door to find Esme Cullen on her doorstep.

Bella was shocked into a state of silence. She managed to let Esme in and offered her a drink, but besides that she was quiet – unsure of what to expect from Edward's normally gentle mother.

For her part, Esme seemed to have taken a page from her daughter-in-law's book, and was talking enough for both of them. She wore an obviously plastered on smile, and didn't look Bella in the eye as she babbled. She was glad that Bella was feeling better. She missed her visiting. Had she had any time to think about her registry? Time was tick, tick, ticking away.

Bella was flabbergasted. "You still…want me at the shower?"

Esme's eyebrows knitted together in the middle. "You need things for the baby. It really is the easiest way to get some of the things you need," she chattered. She went on to assure Bella that she still wasn't one for baby shower games. Perhaps a door prize, but nothing more than that.

"Esme," Bella said softly.

The other woman clamored on, muttering something to herself about plans that still needed to be made.

"Esme!"

Esme stopped babbling and sat still. She didn't look up. Sighing, Bella continued. "I don't understand. I can see that you can't even look at me. Why are you trying to be nice to me? After what I did, you have every right to hate me."

Edward's mother looked up then, her eyes softer than Bella expected and perhaps a little rueful. She ran the pad of her thumb over her lip, considering. "I don't hate you, Bella," she said firmly. Then she sat back on the couch, folding her hands on her lap. "Do you want to know the worst mistake I ever made?"

Bella was silent, unsure of where this conversation was heading. Esme must have taken her silence as assent because she continued talking. "You know that Rosalie got into modeling when she was 16. That choice... I don't regret that choice, because it was a place where she shone. For a little while, she was finally happy again.

"But then she came to me one day, a little after she turned 17, and demanded I let her switch agents. She wanted to move out here where there were better, more exciting jobs for her." Esme stopped, her eyes troubled as she tapped her fingers against her lips. "I'm the mother. I'm supposed to make those types of decisions, but I knew if I denied her that it would send her right back into the depression she'd just shaken. I trusted her - a naive and sheltered 17 year old girl - to make the right choices."

"I didn't find out until years later that her agent... that man," her voice was biting as she forced the words out, "took advantage of her."

Bella's hand went to her mouth, her heart twisting. She could almost write the rest of the story herself.

Esme's voice was shaky as she continued. "From there she was easy prey. You know that she ended up in rehab for alcoholism. What you don't know was that she was addicted to ... a much harder drug. And when she started to get help for that was when everything came out." Esme's voice ran out entirely as she gave in to her tears.

Tentatively, Bella stood and sat down on the couch next to Esme, putting a comforting hand on her arm. Sniffling, the older woman managed a watery smile and patted Bella's hand in thanks. Esme sniffled again, wiping away the remnant of her tears with the back of her hand. "So, no, Bella. I can't hold on to the worst thing you've ever done. Not when the consequences of my mistake were so much further reaching, and much more damaging. You hurt my son. Badly. You caused a lot of pain to my family. But that is, I think, reparable with time - especially because it means my granddaughter is alive and well."

"For what it's worth," Bella said quietly, "I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt any of you; you were all so kind to me."

"I was angry. I am angry," Esme admitted. Bella looked down at her hands. "But I'm not a hypocrite. All those years I spent looking through gossip columns every time I saw Rosalie's name... You know they said such horrible things about her. She was lost, but I remembered the girl she had been - kind, loyal, headstrong." Esme smiled slightly. "I thought it was so unfair that they took these bad incidents and made them out to be all of who she was. If she forgave me for my part in what happened to her, and I've forgiven her for everything she put our family through - well, I know I'll forgive you, too. Maybe not today - but..."

"With time," Bella said, feeling a stirring of hope that maybe, just maybe, her daughter's life wouldn't be a constant battle between herself and the Cullens. "It's more than I can ask for."

Esme tapped her lips again, looking thoughtful. "You know, it was Alice who got her to go to the clinic, to get help. We hadn't even seen her in so many years, but she tracked Emmett down on Facebook. The day she went to see Rosalie for the first time, Rosalie ranted and raved at her - she said such horrible things that I was sure we'd never see Alice again. But she came back the next day. I asked her why, and she told me something I will never forget.

"She said 'If you judge people when they are at their worst, you're turning a blind eye to ever seeing them at their best, and then you'll never truly know them.'" Esme gave a short snort of laughter and patted Bella's hand again. "Your children - and the people they'll bring into your life - will teach you more than you will ever teach them, I think. You'll learn that soon enough."

"Alice was nine when we met her in Mississippi," Esme said, smiling. "Looking back, I should have realized that they were filling holes in each others lives. Alice's parents abandoned her at a very young age. She was being raised by a well meaning but far out of his depth uncle. He didn't know what to do with a little girl, you know? She adopted our family as her own. She would come hug me and Carlisle when we got home from work. She idolized and irritated Edward and Emmett like a proper little sister would."

Esme frowned, the deepening lines at the corners of her mouth and eyes betraying her true age for the space of a glimpse before she looked down. "Alice was completely destroyed when we left – abandoned again, as it were. That was what started the horrendous arguments with Rosalie. Then, when Alice stopped e-mailing was when Rose got really miserable."

Shaking her head, Esme looked up at Bella. "Even then, at the time I didn't realize what Alice meant to my daughter –just how deeply their connection went. It didn't really hit me until her original agent asked her if she wanted to change her last name. He seemed to think that Rosalie Cullen didn't have the stage presence she might need one day. And besides, changing her last name meant keeping her past and her family private. You could have knocked me over with a feather when she instantly said Hale.

"See, when she and Alice first met they used to pretend they were great actresses. It was their favorite game. Hale was a name they came up with together." Pursing her lips, Esme looked contemplative before she let out a breath and gave Bella the rest of the story. "Then Alice came back into our lives, Rosalie started to get better and then… they both took on that name legally as a symbol of their commitment."

"That really is a beautiful story," Bella said softly, meaning every word. She thought for a moment, tapping the pads of her fingers against her glass absently. "It explains a lot."

Esme tilted her head, looking at Bella curiously.

Bella felt her cheeks warm just slightly. "The strength of her… response to me has been bewildering at times," she admitted softly. "I understood it to an extent, but now I see other facets. It's a defense mechanism, both for herself and for Alice."

"You're perceptive," Esme observed.

Bella sat back, running her finger restlessly around the rim of her glass. Even under the best of circumstances, she sincerely doubted she and Rosalie would ever have been friends. Now, though….

Well, it was beside the point. Her relationship with Rosalie was the least of her worries. It didn't escape her notice that Esme was here on her own. While Bella felt the slightest twinge of hope that she could be on friendly terms with the matron of the Cullen family, there were still six others to contend with including…. Edward.

When she thought of him her heart twisted painfully.

From where she was standing, she would believe she and Rosalie would be best friends before Edward ever forgave her.

**~0~**

For what had to be the millionth time since he'd had to listen to Dr. Snow tell him that a total and complete stranger was pregnant with his child, Edward wrestled with what he wanted. His life had been in a constant state of change since that day, and it all mad him very, very tired.

Two weeks before, when he'd gone home after learning about Bella's deceit, he found Emmett and Tanya waiting for him. His family had decided that he shouldn't be alone in his grief, and they were doing what they could – making his breakfasts and dinners, and doing the round the house chores that he couldn't think about.

At the time, he'd considered it lucky that Tanya was there. His anger had been all consuming and acidic. It was only by some small miracle that he hadn't spontaneously combusted with the volatile mixture of bad chemicals in his blood stream.

Pacing back and forth across his living room, Edward had all but demanded that Tanya call one of her family lawyer friends. He wanted something legal, something binding, that made it so Bella couldn't do anything like this to him again.

Tanya had listened to his request carefully, looked him straight in the eye and said, "No."

He literally saw red. "What do you mean no?"

"I mean no, Edward. You're angry-"

"Damn right I'm angry."

Tanya had given him the 'you're skating on thin ice' look at Emmett received so often. "The worst thing you can do is start legal action when you're angry. You're not rational then. All that happens is that you fire the first shot, and then she –angrily – fires the next shot, and before you know it you're both down each others throats and hauling each other into court for the most ridiculous things. No. It's not happening.

"Look, calm down, okay? When you're not snarling like some mountain lion about to attack, then we'll talk. If you still want to do something legally, I'll be more than happy to call Carmen for you," Tanya concluded firmly. "Most the lawsuits in this country would be avoided if people just talked rationally. You have to trust in the basic goodness of people a little more."

He'd growled, further proving her point. "I don't trust her as far as I can throw her."

Tanya smirked. "Well, you're a strong man, and she – despite the little bowling ball she's carrying around – is a very slight woman. I'm sure you can throw her further than you think."

Two weeks later he was definitely calmer, and he could see the wisdom in Tanya's words. His little tantrum had raised the walls between him and Bella even higher. He could read the defensiveness in the set of her shoulders. She didn't say a word to him. Even when she tripped and he steadied her, she'd only nodded her thanks.

It was just as well that she hadn't spoken. As it was, he was having trouble holding his tongue. An almost forgotten memory of one of his least favorite childhood movies had echoed in his mind as a warning.  _If you can't say nothin' nice, don't say nothin' at all._

The first gift he ever bought for his daughter was a downy soft, infant safe Thumper stuffed toy. He held the thing in his hands, thinking about all the things he would be responsible for teaching the baby. He couldn't exactly deliver that lesson with a straight face if he couldn't be civil to his daughter's mother.

Edward rubbed his eyes tiredly, wondering how life had gotten so completely out of his control.

Unable to deal with sitting any longer, Edward grabbed his keys and headed for the door. He knew his mother had planned to go see Bella today. He wondered if she would be back.

When he pulled into his parents' drive he was relieved to see his mother's car. Edward entered the house without knocking and easily found his mother in the den.

"Mom," he greeted, bending to kiss her cheek. Esme ruffled his hair but then turned to the mess of books and articles spread out in front of her. She didn't speak, and Edward grew strangely uncomfortable. "So, what have you been up to today?" he asked conversationally.

Esme made a small, frustrated noise. "My son, I have known you for all of your 27 years. I have never known you not to be direct. You don't pussyfoot around any topic of conversation. What is it about this girl that's turned you around so much?"

Edward gaped at his mother. "What are you talking about?"

"You know very well that I saw Bella today," Esme said evenly, pointing at him with her pen. "You were the one who told me to go in the first place."

"I didn't tell you to do anything," Edward protested, beginning to wonder if his mother had gone completely insane.

"You did, actually. Don't think for one second that I didn't know what you were getting at when you kept asking me if I was still going to hold a joint baby shower for her." Esme began sorting through the books in front of her while Edward reeled.

"Since you're just as stubborn as a mule, I'm going to put you out of your misery and tell you what you want to know," his mother said, not looking up at him as she flipped. "She doesn't look well, Edward."

Despite his confusion at his mother's behavior, Edward's stomach clenched. "What do you mean? Is she okay?"

"She's not sick. I said she doesn't look well." She looked up at him then, her eyes holding his. "She looks rather like a heartbroken, abandoned girl."

Edward's eyes narrowed at his mother's choice of words and he felt a flash of anger travel down his spine. "If her heart is broken, it's her own fault. None of this was my idea. I didn't abandon her, she pushed me away." And it wasn't only her heart that was broken, he did not say.

Esme's eyes gentled. "I know that, Edward." She sighed, sitting back on the couch and tapping her chin. "If her friend hadn't tricked you into revealing your feelings…and if she hadn't fallen, what would have happened?"

Not understanding what his mother wanted to hear, Edward just gave her a confused look. Esme considered her words and tried again. "Son, since you were a teenager you've said that you had no desire to be a father." She winced, guilt flashing through her eyes. "After watching your father and I bungle the job, who could blame you?"

"Mom," he interrupted, putting his hand over hers and squeezing. "You were great parents."

"We were loving parents," Esme corrected mildly. "We weren't great parents. But I think that was part of the problem. In all our good intentions, we made some poor choices. Rosalie bore the brunt of our mistakes, but you and Emmett didn't escape without your scars." She lovingly stroked his cheek with the back of her hand. "I don't think you realize… when you were younger, you used to say that you didn't want children because you wouldn't be responsible for messing up an innocent human being's life. Over time, I think it translated in your mind to you simply not wanting to be responsible for another human being, which isn't the same thing at all."

"What's the difference?"

"The former is a testament to every parent's fear – that they won't be exactly what a child needs. The latter are the words of a person who isn't ready to settle down – which is a fine and valid choice – but it has never been you.

"Why else would you buy a Volvo with your brother's children in mind? And when most adults your age are out squeezing in as many nights on the town as they can, you were always here on the weekend – with your family," Esme smiled at her youngest son, shaking her head slightly. "You're a family man, Edward. Always have been."

Edward considered this, wishing that he'd figured this all out before as his mother obviously had. Esme must have caught the regret that flitted across his features because she tapped his nose knowingly. "But up until you thought the worst had happened, you still believed you didn't want children."

Slowly, Edward nodded, conceding that point. "So what would have happened with you and Bella if Jacob hadn't done what he did and she hadn't fallen down those steps?" his mother asked again.

Edward didn't quite know how to deal with the rush of emotions that hit him then. His anger at Bella had, to that point, hidden the pain of losing their relationship. He missed her, desperately at times. The two times he'd seen her, there had been too many words on the tip of his tongue, filling up his mouth until he had to keep his lips pressed tight together to keep them from coming out. He didn't know what he would have said. He might have lashed out at her, blaming her for the pain she'd put him through and the frustration of trying to find a way through their complicated situation. He might have dropped to his knees and begged her to let him kiss her again – anything if he could only touch her.

"I don't know," Edward said quietly. "If she hadn't fallen… we were supposed to talk when I came back from Chicago.  _Really_  talk. We uh- We haven't …" He put his hands over his eyes, rubbing them tiredly. "We were really bad at talking," he admitted.

"Do you think she would have stayed with you – romantically I mean – once you had to admit to your fears about how you felt about the baby?" Esme asked gently.

Biting down hard on his lip, Edward shook his head. His breathing quickened, "So you're saying this is my fault?" he asked, trying to hang on to his anger. Anger was an easy emotion to turn to - one completely devoid of responsibility.

"Blame is such a useless thing, darling," she said, her tone still gentle and motherly. "Now you have to deal with the fact that it didn't happen that way. Maybe there's some good in what happened. At least now you know how you feel about your daughter." She smiled widely, ruffling his hair. "You're going to be a daddy, Edward. If nothing else, aren't you ... relieved that you can celebrate that?"

Despite himself Edward's lips pulled up into a smile, a giddy sense of wonder worming its way into the heavier feelings in his heart.

Later that evening as the family gathered for dinner - sans Rosalie who was in late meetings with her producers - Edward could have been a ghost. He was completely lost in his thoughts, trying to unwind the snarls that his life was in. He tried to separate his anger and his hurt from his heartbreak, sorting out every misstep on both his and Bella's part. He thought about what would have - could have - been if that Friday hadn't unwound the way it had. What would his life have looked like then?

It was time to start planning his life again - to take back control and do what he could with the hand he'd been dealt. He wasn't precisely sure how to start, but he knew that he was out of excuses.

Bella's name drew him back to the present. His mother and Alice were talking quietly to his right. Alice was grimacing, obviously concerned. She'd talked to Jasper recently and seconded Esme's observations on Bella's appearance. He heard the word depression more than once.

Edward felt his eyes tighten. The vindictive part of him was glad she was suffering - she'd certainly caused him to suffer. It was a small part of him, and growing smaller by the day, but it was still there.

Suddenly, he turned to his brother's wife. "Tanya. I need to talk to you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to jadedandboring. You are my sunshine. Even if I can't talk about your chili. And thanks to Barbaurella... seriously, this chapter was a mess. Thanks for helping me make sense.
> 
> Seriously - I wait for your reviews almost as eagerly as some of you wait for my updates. The discussions! Gah! Fascinating.
> 
> Since I've never been pregnant (really), I'll tell you about a mood swing story that my friend Cella told me. She said she was out with her friends, all of whom were babbling excitedly about visiting her baby in the hospital as soon as he was born. Cella was stewing until suddenly she started shouting, "No one is gonna see my baby but me! Everything outside the hospital is full of germs! I won't let you get him sick when he's just born!"
> 
> Okay. Your turn. Please?


	19. Doing the Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer I am not. I'm just playing with these kids for fun.

Bella finally managed to convince Jasper and her father that she wasn't going to die if they weren't there to supervise her. Since Esme's visit, she had been better able to get a hold on the downward spiral of her life. She had a small measure of hope that things between her family and Edward's wouldn't always be acrimonious. Even if Edward never forgave her, Bella thought she might be able to have a positive relationship with her daughter's grandmother at the very least.

It was a small victory, but it was definitely something.

She spent exactly one day entirely on her own. The second day, a little before noon, her doorbell rang. Figuring it was Jasper checking on her, Bella hauled herself away from her computer and opened the door with a smile on her face. Her smile faltered when she saw who was standing there.

"Tanya," she choked out a greeting.

The strawberry blond woman smiled. "Hi!" she said cheerfully.

"Do you want to come in?" Bella asked, stepping aside.

"No, actually. I wanted to know if you wanted to go out," Tanya said, gesturing behind her to her car. Bella peeked and saw the twins buckled into the car seats in the backseat, waving their arms vigorously. Bella couldn't help but smile.

"Come on," Tanya encouraged. "I know you haven't been out of the house much except to see the doctor. We'll have some lunch, and then explore the wonders of Babies 'R Us."

That was how Bella found herself out and about in Los Angeles. The minute she got in the car, the twins chattered with her excitedly, telling her they'd missed her, and why didn't she come over more, and did she know that they would be four soon, and what was she going to get them for presents... they liked dressing up.

"Girls," Tanya admonished lightly.

"They were born in September?" Bella asked.

Tanya nodded. "September 12."

Bella smiled. "I'm September 13th."

"Hear that girls? Bella's birthday is the day after yours. What are you going to get her?" Tanya asked.

"Kisses?" Katrina guessed.

"Pwincess cwown!" Irina argued.

"No!" Katrina protested. "Race cars!"

Bella covered her mouth to catch the giggles that threatened to escape. Then one of them gasped as an idea occurred to her. "Mommy! B'la can have a party with us."

"Yeah!" the other agreed, bouncing in her car seat. "Like Auntie and Unca!"

"We'll see," Tanya promised vaguely.

It wasn't until they got to the restaurant, and the twins were settled in their seats, that Tanya and Bella were really able to talk. Too curious for her own good, Bella finally had to ask Tanya if she was at all angry for her actions.

"Pfft. I'm a lawyer, Bella. I'm trained to see both sides of the story – even if it's only to crush the other side mercilessly." Seeing Bella blanch a little, Tanya patted her arm. "Don't worry. It doesn't behoove me to use my powers for evil. Even if you were the worst person in the world – which you are far, far, far from – it just doesn't make sense for any of us to hold on to our anger – for the baby's sake if no one else's.

"But besides that… hon, I'm a mother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for those precious girls," she nodded at the twins whose heads were bent together as they colored on their menus. "I'd die for them. It's... that bond is so strong and intense. Sometimes the need to protect them overshadows common sense. I've yelled at other mothers, other children... even Esme and Carlisle before when I thought they were ... making a poor choice in how they spoke to the girls. I've had to talk my foot out of my mouth more than once," she laughed.

After lunch, Tanya did manage to drag Bella into Babies R Us, and even got her to start a registry. "No one's saying you have to finish it today," she reasoned. "Just start it. It will make Esme feel better."

Bella was uncertain. She didn't know if she was comfortable with the idea of Esme throwing her a baby shower. She still didn't know how much bad blood existed between her and the other guest of honor. Alice had been quiet these weeks - unusual to say the least.

And that was without even considering Edward.

Then Bella remembered Jacob's words about a registry merely being a list of things she needed. That Bella couldn't argue with. It was beyond time for her to figure out what she needed.

Tanya proved to be an invaluable help. She chattered easily about baby slings versus baby backpacks, and how the thermometer with three interchangeable tips was easily worth the extra money. Then she surprised Bella a few times when she nonchalantly mentioned that Edward had done a fair amount of research and had found a crib that was both highly rated and highly functional. The strawberry blond said nothing when, after examining it for herself, Bella quietly aimed the scanner she'd been given at it, adding it to her list. As they walked along, Katrina and Irina did their best to help. They scampered off to snatch whatever bauble caught their eye that they assured Bella the baby needed. It was amazing how easily the twins accepted and indeed expected that her baby would be part of their family.

When Bella's feet started to ache they made their way to a little playground inside the mall that the store was in. For a while, Bella was quiet, listening to Tanya's tales from the crib as she watched Katrina and Irina bounce from one part of the playground to the other.

Watching them, it was hard not to imagine being here in a few years time - watching her own daughter running. She imagined a girl with Edward's glorious smile, and a head full of bronze colored curls. The hope that Esme had sparked in her a few days before seemed to grow, and Bella grasped the picture of happiness with both hands. Things looked bleak now, but in the end, her baby was well worth it.

"Thank you for this, Tanya," Bella said, not taking her eyes off the little blond girls. They'd been so open with their affection that day, hugging Bella's ankles and tugging at her hands. "I really needed it."

Tanya gave her a curious look. "Don't you know, Bella?" When she received only a confused look from the other woman, Tanya continued. "Edward asked me to come do this...and to bring the twins. My girls were a comfort to him when he thought..." she trailed off with a grimace. "Well," she amended, "they have a knack for making people smile."

When she was alone again Bella couldn't stop turning the situation over in her head. Those few weeks she had been waiting for Edward to make the first move, uncertain with how to counter him until he showed her game plan. His action baffled her. The two times she'd seen him since that awful day he looked for all the world like a man who couldn't even stand the sight of her. Yet he'd asked Tanya to bring Katrina and Irina to cheer her up.

She was nervous, and completely insecure about how she should proceed, but Edward had thrown a ball in her court. She was damn well going to return it.

**~0~**

A few days after Tanya's visit to Bella, Edward was just beginning to try to figure out what he wanted to eat for lunch when his doorbell rang.

When he saw Bella standing on his porch, Edward's lips automatically turned down, the cold rush of anger mixing disconcertingly with the warmth he felt at the center of his chest. He still cared about her enough that her appearance - so uncertain and drawn - pained him.

She was still beautiful to him. His anger could not negate what he felt.

"I um..." she started, then cleared her throat, obviously steeling herself. "I wanted to know if I could take you to get some lunch. If you're hungry."

He stared at her in a way that would have made his mother elbow him in the side if he was still nine years old. It wasn't that Edward meant to be rude, he was simply taken by surprise - and he didn't know how he felt about spending an hour with Bella face to face.

Bella looked away from him, tempering her irritation at his silence. "Edward, we have to learn how to talk to each other at some point." She sighed and the edge dropped out of her voice. "Not talking is what got us in trouble in the first place."

An automatic argument bubbled up from the pit of his stomach - full of acid and venom - but he held it back. He wanted to say that if she hadn't lied they'd be in a much different place. But while that was, without a doubt, true, her lie was not where their troubles began. Taking a deep breath, Edward nodded at her. "You're right. But I'll drive, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind," she said, a little too eagerly. She seemed pleasantly surprised that he'd agreed. He felt a twinge at the sight of her happiness. He'd missed her smile.

The ride to his restaurant of choice was quiet as they got used to each other's company again. Edward didn't know that he had anything to say to her. There were so many things he wanted to know - about her plans for the baby, how long she was going to stay home with her, names... where he was supposed to fit into all of this and how. But every time he thought about it, he was angry. He didn't know how to broach the topic without coming off defensive to say the least, rude at very worst.

He knew a lot more than he had before. He'd been reading. He knew his daughter was probably around two pounds and a little over a foot long. He knew that she could hear them, and that her eyes were almost fully developed.

But before they could talk about any of that, he had to calm the storm of anger and bitterness that rose in him just thinking about Bella and the baby.

Abruptly remembering their first meal, an idea popped into Edward's head. He turned the right direction before he could over-think what he was about to do.

"Oh," Bella said, looking startled. He saw the disappointment flit across her face before she could mask it.

"You said I could pick where we went," Edward reminded her.

Bella looked out the car window at the sushi restaurant they'd parked in front of, swallowing hard. She loved sushi. She'd once spent an entire evening talking about how much she missed sushi. Everything else hadn't been as difficult to give up for the duration of her pregnancy except sushi...and ibuprofen. "I'm sure they have teriyaki chicken ... or maybe vegetable tempura," she muttered under her breath.

Despite himself, Edward had to try very hard to hold back his amusement. He started walking, completely bypassing the Sushi place to walk to the restaurant several doors over. He heard Bella's little gasp, and then her footfalls sped up as she caught up to him. "Ha," she said, falling into step beside him.

Edward didn't answer but let his mouth quirk up in a half grin. He opened the door for her at the real restaurant they were going to.

"Red Robin?" she asked, looking around the warm, family-oriented restaurant.

"You remember I told you that there are some places that serve real hamburgers? Well, this is one of them," he said. His voice was still tight but the irritation was gone. Bella's eyes connected with his for a fraction of a second, a tiny light of hope written there before she looked to the hostess that wanted to seat them. It was the most words he'd spoken all at once to her in almost three weeks.

They sat, silent as they looked over the menu. Edward felt unnaturally pleased when she ordered the strawberry lemonade. Even over a few short weeks he could see a marked affect on her body. She was skinnier than she had been three weeks ago despite the fact that her belly was growing ever larger. Her cheekbones were more pronounced. He didn't have to be a doctor to know that she should be gaining weight at this point in her pregnancy - not losing it. He ordered a spinach-artichoke dip as an appetizer.

For many minutes they were able to put off talking as they decided what to eat. "Isn't there some sort of rule against a food critic having a burger?" Bella teased carefully after they'd ordered - a Royal Red Robin burger for her (it was all about the egg) and a sauteed 'shroom burger for him.

Edward smiled briefly at her. "A McDonald's hamburger? Yes. This is quality meat. You know - not gray-ish matter."

"Hamburger snob," she chided lightly, sipping her lemonade shyly.

For a moment - just a moment - it was as if they were back to where they'd been just a few weeks before.

Then they were quiet, unsure of how to act around each other or what they could say. While they waited for their food to come, Edward and Bella made an attempt at small talk. It was awkward - more awkward than it had been between them even in the beginning. They skirted around hot issues. Bella told Edward about the new job Aro had offered - writing for one of the sitcoms in another studio - while carefully avoiding the subject of what had brought his offer on. Edward could read between the lines. He would want Bella as far away from Victoria and Rosalie alike to keep any potential lawsuits at a minimum. He tried not to think about the event that brought the change on, instead concentrating on congratulating her. Regardless of the reasons why, he knew she was a talented writer who'd earned her place on that staff.

Their food arrived and they both dug in. As they chewed, conversation once again seemed to chill around the edges.

Bella stirred her straw around her glass, watching the strawberries as they swirled. "I um... your mother still wants to hold a baby shower for me...us," she said finally.

The bite of burger turned to sawdust in Edward's mouth. He forced himself to swallow, trying to keep his voice even though his defenses were raised at the mention of anything to do with the baby. "I know," he said carefully.

"Is that... I mean, you're okay with that? If you're not, I can tell her no."

He looked up at her sharply. "Are you trying to keep my family away, because if you-"

"I'm not trying to do ... anything," Bella interrupted, her eyebrows knitting together as she glared at him. She put her fork down, folding her hands across the shelf her belly made as she stared down at the table. "That's not what I meant."

Edward picked up a fry more for something to do than to actually eat it. He breathed deeply, trying to calm the irrational rage. "I'm sorry," he said, but his voice was still too hard to really convey any serious regret. "It's just that I'm finding it hard to trust your motives right now."

"I know that... what I did hurt you," Bella said to the tabletop. "But Edward - that was the only time I've ever lied to you. I don't want to keep you away from your daughter. I don't want to keep your family away. I just... I don't want to make you uncomfortable. It's not like I became this whole other person with ulterior motives."

Intellectually, he knew what she was saying. Part of him even ached to forget that entire weekend existed. Forget he left. Forget that she didn't call for him when she was scared and in pain. Forget that when she finally picked up the phone she lied. Forget everything except perhaps the most important thing he'd learned about himself: that he wanted to be a father; not just anyone's father, but his daughter's father.

Some of life's most important lessons were taught at the sharp end of a sword.

Somewhere in his primal mind he saw Bella as a threat. However briefly, she'd tried to take his child away from him. It was a fact that had shaken him to his core, shattering the trust he'd naturally put in her as their relationship had progressed. Edward didn't know how to undo that kind of wound.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked instead, his tone still cutting.

She looked up at him then, a spark of fury catching in her sad, brown eyes. "No. You need to hear something else. I am sorry. But as much as I wish I could undo the past, I can't. I earned your anger, and I can accept that, but I haven't done anything to deserve this kind of paranoia. I made a mistake. I wasn't trying to be malicious."

"Try or not, you succeeded," Edward snapped.

He saw Bella's hands flex into fists as her brow twitched - in anger or frustration he couldn't tell. He wanted to back down, he really did, he just found himself utterly incapable of doing it.

Bella let out a long sigh. "Look, any relationship needs a measure of trust to make it work. If we can't trust each other, even just enough to be civil, we're only going to hurt her. You - we - I..." She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before she tried again. "We cared for each other-"

"Don't!" Edward demanded. His anger was getting out of control, and he knew it. He just couldn't think about that too; he couldn't think about how much he missed  _them_. It was too much loss that he wasn't sure how to deal with.

Edward stood, tossing a fifty down on the table. It was more than enough to cover both of their meals with a very generous tip. Without looking about Bella, he strode out of the restaurant.

In the parking lot he paced, feeling like he was milliseconds away from putting his fist through the metal side of the car next to his. He felt strong enough to bend metal with his bare hands.

Her words about undoing the past echoed in his head with a sort of desperation. At first the wish was an ache that made his throat close with the lump that rose there painfully. What he wouldn't give to turn back the clock.

But to where?

And wasn't that the exact thought that had made Bella tell him his daughter was dead?

His heart ached when he realized what that meant. He remembered her words: ... _it was the only thing I could think of that would put us both back where we were six months ago_.

Before they even knew each other. In those moments, she'd regretted them entirely.

That was part of where Edward was stuck. Whenever he tried to trace back the tangled web they'd woven for themselves, he didn't know where to wish he'd done something different. If they were honest with each other up front they would have never discovered their compatibility for each other, would never have spent nights and days learning about each other as lovers. No matter how badly he was hurting, he couldn't bring himself to regret that.

He stopped pacing, leaning his forehead against his car as he breathed deeply. How on earth were they going to get through this? He knew she wasn't wrong. She didn't deserve his baseless assumptions or the way he'd snapped at her. Better or worse, she was his child's mother, and she deserved his respect.

So when she finally came out of the restaurant, Edward tried to let his actions convey what he couldn't yet say. His words were still coated in venom, so he kept them to himself as he opened the passenger door for her.

She murmured a thank you in a small, uncertain voice, and Edward felt sick. One of the things he'd always enjoyed about her was that she had never put up with his bullshit. From day one she'd been the strong one - able to stand on her own two feet and not willing to let some idiot's opinion get in the way of what she wanted. Now, though, what choice did she have but to try and deal with him? He'd made it abundantly clear that he could make their fight ugly if he chose, and above all, Bella wanted what was best for their daughter.

He drove them back toward his place in silence, grappling with what he should apologize for, and how he could ever forgive her.

When they were almost back to his place, Edward chanced a glance at her, his gut twisting with self disgust when he realized she was staring out the window, wiping at her eyes discreetly with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry," he said instantly, his voice gentle for once. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

She didn't look at him, continuing to stare out the window. "You didn't. I'm hormonal, remember?"

He sighed, lifting his hand to squeeze her knee but diverting it instead to his own hair, ruffling it self consciously. "You probably wouldn't have been crying if it wasn't for my baseless assumption," he said softly, guiltily as he pulled into his driveway.

Her lips pursed and she shrugged her shoulders, still staring away from him. "You never know. Everything makes me teary. It's driving me a little nuts," she admitted. Then she hissed suddenly, clutching her stomach.

"What?" Edward asked, abruptly panicked. "What is it? Are you okay?"

She chuffed lightly. "Fine. I'm fine. Just... she's using my organs as a punching bag," she said with a laugh, wincing at the internal attack.

Edward was taken slightly aback. "She's kicking?"

Bella glanced at him, her eyes contemplative. She nodded slowly. "Do you...Do you want to feel?"

His eyes darted back and forth from her belly to her eyes, unsure, but his hand reached out, stopping about half way between them. Inexplicably, his heart began to beat faster - both with nervousness and excitement. He laid a tentative palm on her belly, bellow where her hands were folded.

"No, um," Bella cleared her throat nervously and lightly put her hand over his, moving his palm across to a different point on her stomach. "Here," she said, pressing down slightly.

For a moment, Edward could feel nothing, and his lips began to turn down in disappointment. But then, he felt something. It was a small movement; just a light brush like a weak finger across his palm. He almost thought he had imagined it when he felt it again. His mouth dropped open slightly, his lips curling up and stretching wide across his face as he gave a tiny laugh of incredulous wonder. "I feel her," he whispered.

Edward looked up then, his wide eyes locking with Bella's teary eyes and smiling face. For a handful of seconds there was no anger. The lingering hurt and distrust faded away because for those moments he was utterly happy. He was touching his daughter - the life he'd helped create and would someday soon hold in his arms - through Bella's skin and clothing. There was no room left for the negative emotions then; every space inside of him was filled with an all consuming joy and love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Barburella and jadedandboring are my lifelines. Ty so much for reading/beta'ing.
> 
> Soooo I have a thread on Twilighted now! Check out my profile for a link! Weigh in. Some of you are really peeved at Edward!
> 
> So my mom burst out in tears when she realized she was pregnant with my brother. She had a one and a half year old that wouldn't sleep (yours truly) and a demanding job. It all turned out all right (Brother says he was a blessing), but still. Were all of you happy to be pregnant?


	20. Long Time Coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Omg y'all. My life would be incomplete without tellingmelies. Jsyk.
> 
> Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer I am not. I'm just playing with these kids for fun.

Bella stared at the ornate arrangement of flowers that sat on her kitchen table with a confused expression on her face.

When it had arrived, Bella had assumed it was yet another gift from Aro. Since the accident, the man had sent a steady supply of flowers and various gift baskets. Chocolates, crackers, candies, bath products… and a number of baby-item baskets that she would actually use.

So, initially, Bella was irritated when she saw the huge bouquet of flowers. She should have known something was off – these were actually quite lovely and well put together. Then she opened the card and froze.

_**Bella ~ I know there's a lot we have to say to each other and I'm working on it. Apologies and contrition are not my strong points. But please, don't punish Alice because of what I've done. She misses you. ~ Rosalie** _

After a moment of open mouthed gaping, Bella scrambled for her phone.

"Bella?" Alice's familiar voice picked up on the second ring.

"Hi, um…"

Before Bella could continue, Alice started babbling at high rates of speed. "Bella, oh it's so good to hear your voice. I was so scared you weren't ever going to speak to me again, and I miss you. I know I shouldn't have sent that many Facebook messages, but at first I thought you thought that I was mad – and I was. Kind of. I mean – I get it, right? You and Edward –"

"Alice!" Bella interrupted. "Wait…what? You sent me messages?"

"Yes," Alice responded, sounding confused. "A lot of them. Like … an obsessive amount actually. I really didn't mean to – it's just that I kept on remembering things I forgot to say. And then I suddenly realized I'd sent so many!"

Bella smacked her forehead with her palm as she realized her folly. "I'm so sorry," she began, her words almost running together as they tumbled out. "I haven't been on Facebook since… since… I didn't get your messages."

There was a few seconds of silence on the other end before Alice burst out laughing. "You're not mad?"

"What? No!" Bella shook her head even though Alice couldn't see it. "Mad at what?"

"You know – I'm with Rosalie, and it was Rosalie's little fanboy that caused your fall," Alice said, sounding uncharacteristically uncertain.

Bella sighed. "Alice – first of all, why would I hold you responsible for anything Rosalie does? You're not responsible for her actions anymore than she's responsible for Demetri's insanity." She paused and then continued timidly. "I thought you were mad at me."

"No, I wasn't mad. I think I was the only one who was never mad," Alice said quietly. "I think I've told you before – I think everything happens for a reason. I believe in fate."

Bella put two fingers against her lips, closing her eyes as an unexpected wave of emotion swept over her. "You think it was fate that I told Edward what I told him?"

"Well, how about this: I can see the good in it."

Bella scoffed, but Alice continued before she could say anything. "I wish you could see him now, Bella. Before, he would get all twitchy and uptight if anyone so much as mentioned the baby. Now though – it's a whole new ballgame. Do you know he has a stack of pregnancy books on his nightstand?" Alice giggled.

"Really?" Bella asked on a breath. Her heart seemed to warm slightly in her chest as she imagined him poring over the baby books, his brow furrowing when he came across contradicting information.

"Yeah," Alice confirmed. "He's even bought a few things. Toys mostly but… he's just so sweet about it. He's such a proud Papa."

**~0~**

After restoring her friendship with Alice, Bella felt a great deal better. Slowly, Cullen by Cullen, she was beginning to think that her future – and her daughter's future –wouldn't be as rife with conflict as she'd originally feared.

Of course, there was always the biggest hurdle to tackle – Edward himself.

It was amazing how Alice's words had given Bella both insane joy - imagining that not only did Edward want his child but he was excited about her impending arrival - and a devastating sadness.

At the very least, Bella wanted what her parents had. Admittedly, her parents hadn't had to interact face to face more than a handful of times after her mother left her father. But they'd always been friends. She remembered them at her college graduation - still sitting side by side - her mother's hand on Charlie's arm as they looked at each other with pride in their eyes.

But that required a level of friendship at the very least, and she was far away from even that with Edward. If he wanted to be, Bella wanted to let him be a part of her pregnancy. They were capable of enjoying those moments together. A few days previous, when Edward had felt the baby kick for the first time, they had a few precious minutes to marvel together before Edward's anger got the better of him, and he'd snatched his hand away as if he'd been burned.

Despite the hurt that welled in her when she thought of Edward's rejection, Bella forced herself to look at the bigger picture. He had to have some positive feeling toward her. Why else send Tanya with the girls to make her feel a little better?

 _He could just be thinking that your depression wasn't going to help the baby,_ a pessimistic voice in her head reminded.

Bella frowned to herself. But then, she thought, he'd teased her when they went out. Surely he couldn't despise her if he could still tease her. It had been a little awkward, but up until she mentioned the baby they were faring fine.

The baby was a trigger point, she mused. Like some slight variation of post traumatic stress. Looking back, Bella could see that he didn't _want_ to be angry. She remembered how often he took deep breaths and how, at the beginning of their time together, he made a concerted effort to smile at her.

How were they supposed to find any sort of middle ground when his anger flared, making him entirely irrational? Bella sighed to herself, wishing she'd taken more than one psychology class.

The baby chose that moment to wiggle, making Bella's hand shoot to her belly as she smiled.

Then a thought occurred to her. A plan began to formulate in her mind. Excited, Bella took out her phone. Then she dropped her hands to her sides equally as quick. Was this really a good idea?

Taking a steadying breath, Bella dialed. As the phone rang she stroked her hand over her belly, thinking tender thoughts toward her daughter. She had to try. She smirked to herself as she remembered Belle Watling's advice to Rhett about Scarlet: "You've got to think of the child. The child is worth ten of the mother." She wagered she could withstand a tense stand off if it meant making peace with her baby's father.

"Hello?" a voice on the other end of the phone answered.

"Esme? I need to ask you for a favor..."

**~0~**

The next day found Bella standing outside Esme and Carlisle's home. She was equal parts relieved and nervous when it was Carlisle who answered the door. Through her talks with Esme, Bella knew that Carlisle hadn't held on to any anger about her decision. Still, she needed to make her apologies because she knew all too well that he couldn't have appreciated watching his own child suffer.

So as soon as Carlisle had ushered her inside she turned to him and spoke before she could lose her nerve. "I um... I'm sorry. To you too. I know my actions didn't just affect Edward."

The elder Cullen gave her a reassuring smile. "Thank you, Bella. I appreciate that - really."

Esme appeared and ushered Bella into the living room, asking if she needed anything. Bella declined and smiled. "Thank you so much for helping me with this. You two are entirely too good to me."

Carlisle's smile was a little sad as he responded. "You work in my field and you realize the ... atrocities that people are capable of committing against the very innocent minds we're meant to mold and protect..." he shook his head. "You're not a bad person, Bella. If you were, you wouldn't be here trying to make amends. And no matter how terrible our mistakes, they are very rarely one sided," he looked at her pointedly, letting her read between the lines that he knew his son played a very big part in the clusterfuck she was trying to unknot.

As they had promised he would, Edward showed up at his parents' house not that long after. The minute his eyes landed on Bella he tensed, clearly on the defensive. But as he had several days before, Edward noticeably took a breath before he said anything. "What's going on?"

"Bella just came over to talk, Edward. Come in and sit down," Esme said soothingly.

Edward narrowed his eyes slightly at his mother. "What, she suddenly can't speak for herself?"

Tilting her head so she could level a steady, cool glare at Edward, Bella stood. "I can speak for myself just fine." She breathed through her nose and let her tone soften. "Edward, you know that we need to talk. There's so much we need to discuss. But we can't do that if we're at each others throats. So... I have a proposition for you.

"I know when you're angry and you bottle it up, it'll only come lashing out when you don't want it to," she held his gaze as she spoke, seeing the guilt that sparked in his eyes before he looked down. "So, I want you to... get it all out. Tell me what you feel."

"Without hurtful language," Carlisle interjected, looking at his son warningly. "It's a good plan, Edward. And I'm going to add this in case Bella doesn't." One side of his mouth quirked up. "Because I'm the father right now, and this is my house, once you've had a chance to air your grievances and talk about them, you give her the same chance. Understand?"

Edward's jaw twitched but after a moment, he nodded once curtly. To further express his cooperation he sat in the armchair across the room from where Bella stood against the couch. He waited.

Esme smiled, apparently satisfied that progress was being made. She caressed Edward's hair lovingly. "We'll be around if you need us."

"Just remember, son," Carlisle clapped Edward on the shoulder, "many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

Bella blinked, trying to figure out why those words sounded so familiar, while Edward gave his father the evil eye. "Really, Dad? Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

Carlisle pretended to look aghast. "You've discovered my terrible secret. I'm not really as good at my job as they say I am. Everything I know, I learned from Star Wars." He shook his head mournfully. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you, Son."

Rolling her eyes, Esme stepped forward, grabbing her husband's arm. "Come along, dear. Let's let the kids talk." She pointed a finger at Edward, her eyes completely stern mother. "Be nice," she warned. Then she turned to Bella, leveling the same look at her. "You too."

As Carlisle and Esme's footsteps faded away, Edward's eyes flitted to Bella's. "You had to bring my parents into our problems?"

Bella didn't answer right away. Instead she took a moment to sit, making herself comfortable while she fought to find her patience. "I wanted to talk with you here because I hoped it would make you more comfortable." That she hoped his parents' presence would also temper his more explosive tendencies, she left unsaid. "They're being...really nice to me, but they're your parents. You feel like I want to take your daughter away from you - they don't want that anymore than I think you do."

Edward was silent again. His arms were crossed over his chest, but at least he wasn't arguing.

Taking that as a sign that she needed to make the first move, Bella spoke. "Do you honestly believe I want to keep her away from you?" she asked, one hand on her belly in case he was unclear of whom she was speaking.

He huffed once, tilting his head so it was resting on the very back of the seat. "How do you expect me to have any clue what your intentions are?" His fingers clenched and unclenched a few times before he continued. "If not to get me away from her, then what? Did you want me away from  _you_?"

He shook his head, and Bella's heart twisted with an all too familiar ache. Before she could speak though he continued. "Even if I hadn't … realized what I did…about the baby. Even if that hadn't," he closed his eyes, gritting his teeth like he was an in an incredible amount of pain. "Even if I hadn't been... destroyed at the thought of losing..." He swallowed hard and lifted his head, looking at her with angry but vulnerable eyes. "Bella, after you called, all I could think about was getting to you. I was going insane thinking about how I needed to see you, to see you were okay."

"Don't you understand, Edward?" her voice was pained and her eyes shone with tears she was struggling to keep back. "I wanted you to be there… so bad… but that's why I couldn't have you there." She held out a hand suddenly, stopping his inevitable question. "No. Let's... I'm sorry. This is supposed to be about you first."

She looked at him, her eyes full of apologies because she knew she was about to hurt him again. But she knew that this little re-break was necessary to heal their wounds. "When did you know your feelings had changed about the baby?"

Edward's head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock and fathomless in their agony.

And then it all came out. His words were hard and accusatory, and he often glared at her though he kept to his promise to his father not to insult her.

He spoke of how he felt like he couldn't breathe, how the sense of loss felt so much bigger than his human body could withstand. He growled as he remembered how he wanted to run right out of his skin because he knew if he stopped the weight would crush him whole. He snarled at his remembered frustration when Jacob turned him away and then when Jasper said she didn't want to see him.

He stood, pacing to channel his pent up energy even as the venom in his words drained and he finally told her about the moment it all hit him. Every question that ran through his mind. Every moment he'd pushed away. How he thought he failed to protect them both - Bella and the baby. How in that endless moment he'd realized how much he wanted the days and months and years that had suddenly been ripped away from him.

With every accusatory word Bella felt like she was shrinking, her heart twisting and her stomach churning with a sick feeling. She'd known, of course, that he was horrendously hurt, but every wound laid out for her added to the incredible weight of guilt. She watched, feeling completely helpless, as the rigidity drained out of him, and he slumped back into the arm chair. He leaned forward, his head bowed and his hands gripping his hair as he struggled to breathe right.

For minutes as Edward panted, Bella's head spun as she tried to put borders on the feeling that everything was overwhelmingly and irrevocably broken. Slowly, as she forced herself to breathe deep, Bella reminded herself that he'd done his own share of helping them into the hole they were in. He was far from blameless in this debacle. But now was the time to atone for her mistakes because she'd hurt him far, far worse than he'd ever hurt her.

To that end, she would start with something small: answers to the questions he hadn't thought to ask until it was too late.

"I have five names that I really like," she said in a voice that trembled with barely contained emotion. "But I'm open to suggestions."

He looked up at her, confusion written across his face.

"And I want her to be a Cullen," she whispered, looking at him from under her eyelashes with an uncertain expression.

His eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

She didn't miss the way his lips quirked, as if he was fighting the urge to smile in his uncertainty. Bella nodded slowly. "My… our daughter deserves all the love I… we can provide. I know that you didn't plan for things to happen the way they did; it wasn't your idea for her to be conceived. But you're a part of her; your family is a part of her. It's important to me that you know that… and that she knows that."

He studied her, hope warring with caution in his eyes. He let out a long, slow sigh and slumped back in his chair. "I really want to believe you. I just… don't know how to trust what you say when you would lie to me about something so big. I don't know how not to be angry."

Swallowing hard, Bella tilted her head. "Well, that's not a switch you can flip," she said sadly. "But you've done a really good job of telling me how you feel without lashing out today. Even if you can't just  _not_  be angry – which I understand – do you think you can control your temper like you have today? I mean, without your parents nearby." She gave him a small smile, hoping that her gentle tease would go over well.

One side of his mouth lifted, and there was a spark of amusement in his eyes when he looked at her. "That's a reasonable request," he agreed.

The weight that had settled around her heart, squeezing it uncomfortably, lessened just slightly, and Bella relaxed infinitesimally. "Edward, if you love and want our daughter the way she deserves to be loved and wanted, I'm not going to fight you. You know I regret what I told you. I was terrified, and druggy, and… " She shook her head. "No excuses. I shouldn't have done it. I know that. But you know how you said you felt like you failed to protect us?"

Edward nodded.

"Well, when Jacob told me how you felt, I knew I failed to protect her," Bella continued, her voice getting rougher. When she looked at him then, her eyes were harder than they had been. "Because it was a failure, Edward: the way we didn't talk things through at all at first. And then I fell… Look, long story short, I never want to fail her again. Right now, that means I have no interest in depriving her of an obviously loving father, and extended family. I want to work with you to build a life for her. But to do that, we need to be able to compromise.

"So I'm not asking you to let go of your anger. I think, as long as you can control your temper, that it will lessen with time, and time is what it will take to get you to trust me again. But we do need to be able to deal with each other now," she concluded, caressing her belly as she spoke. "Time is running out."

For a long, tense minute, Edward didn't look at her. It was hard for Bella to stay silent, giving him the room he needed to think things through. She struggled not to wriggle in her seat. Finally, though, Edward looked up and gave her the tiniest of smiles. "That sounds more than fair."

**~0~**

Lost deep in his thoughts, Edward didn't know quite where he was going until he was pulling into the parking lot near Santa Monica Pier. He turned off the engine, and sat in the car, watching bikini clad bodies go by for a few minutes without really seeing any of them.

Grumbling lightly to himself, Edward got out and beginning walking across the sand.

He stopped a little ways down the pier, seeing Alice in the little shop where she worked. Even though Rosalie continuously told her that she didn't need to do it anymore, Alice worked as a henna artist at the same shop she'd been in since she left Mississippi for California. It made sense to Edward. Though she no longer needed to be concerned with money, her job gave her access to a continuous stream of people, and an outlet for her creativity.

Today she was seated, looking profoundly comfortable, with her blue toenail polish adorned feet propped up on her co-worker's - a woman Edward knew was named Charlotte - table with her upper torso twisted slightly so she could lean over her own table. Charlotte was decorating Alice's feet with a floral looking design while Alice worked on a client. It took Edward a moment to realize he recognized Alice's client. It was none other than Jasper Whitlock.

Edward watched them for a moment, taking in the easy smile on Jasper's face and the way Alice giggled every little while as she expertly worked a design along his arm.

It was easy to forget that he and Bella weren't the only strangers that had been thrown together so suddenly. It was such a strange situation to be in - to have such an irrevocable connection with another person whom you'd never even spoken to before. Like he and Bella, Alice and Jasper had created a life together without their knowledge or consent, but they'd handled it so much differently.

Though Rosalie had many misgivings about the situation at first, Alice had been insistent that they keep Jasper close, if he was amenable. Someday, they would have to tell their son how he came to be. While Jasper felt, according to him, no connection to the baby as a father, he wanted to be to the boy what he would have been to Bella's baby – another person to love and depend on. After all, Jasper had told them all once, he didn't think it was possible for a child to be loved too much. But biology didn't dictate relationships. Rosalie and Alice would always be the boy's parents.

Beyond being her baby's unwitting donor, Alice had found in Jasper a soulmate of sorts. Their relationship was effortless and blissfully uncomplicated. Even then, as Edward watched, it was easy to see how comfortable they were with each other. Edward couldn't help but wonder if that could have been him and Bella, if things hadn't gotten so damn twisted.

 _Sex complicates everything_ , a sardonic voice in his head snickered. But he knew in his heart of hearts it wasn't even that simple.

Sighing to himself again, Edward walked all the way into the shop. The other three looked up. Charlotte's grin was blissfully ignorant - she had no idea that Edward was under an omnipresent cloud. Jasper and Alice were a little more in the loop and could read the tension on his face. Their easy smiles tightened ever so slightly.

"Hey, Edward," Jasper greeted with forced ease.

"Hi," Edward replied, leaning against the wall awkwardly.

"You're all done," Alice said to Jasper, smiling as she put a final flourish on the design.

Jasper tilted his arm to admire her handy work. "Wow, that's all sorts of awesome, sugar." He leaned over the table to plant a chaste peck on her cheek.

Taking pity on Edward's unspoken need, Jasper got the other woman's attention. "Hey, Char. My Peter is gonna be meeting me for lunch. You want to come with?"

"Meet your man? I'd love to!" Charlotte enthused. She looked to Alice. "You'll be okay for an hour or so?"

Alice waved her hand dismissively. "Yeah, I'm fine. Have fun. You'll love Peter."

Once they were alone, Alice sighed and gestured with her chin to the empty seat across from her. "Sit down. If you're going to wallow in my place of business you're going to pay for it."

Edward screwed up his face, about to protest, but then he sighed, all the fight going out of him. He sat down in her chair, offering her his hand. "Nothing girlie," he warned.

"Heaven forbid," Alice said, smirking as she brought her hand toward him. She tapped a finger against her chin and then nodded to herself. Leaning over his hand, she began working. "So tell me truly. What brings you here?"

For minutes Edward didn't answer, instead watching the lines appear on his skin as she effortlessly drew whatever design was in her head. He breathed in deeply and sighed. "I don't know, really."

She looked up, eyeballing him with a speculative expression. "You don't need me, Edward. It's Rose you want," she said softly. "You need someone to talk to."

Edward again didn't answer right away. He wanted to deny it, but he couldn't. His thoughts were too loud, and heavy, and completely confusing. He didn't even know if he was capable of sorting them out for himself anymore. "I can't talk to Rose about this," he murmured. "She hates Bella."

"You haven't had many nice things to say about Bella lately either," Alice pointed out mildly.

"It's just..." Edward struggled to find the right words, then they all came pouring out. "I don't know, I don't know what to feel. When I saw her - when she surprised me at lunch - and I talked to her, it felt for a minute like nothing had changed. She's so easy to talk to. And I liked seeing her smile. I missed her. But then she started to talk about the baby and...and..." He huffed, his eyes tightening and his teeth clenching. "Why did she have to do it, Alice? And why is it just so much worse that she's the one that hurt me? I've never been angry like this. Why does she have this kind of power over me?"

Again Alice looked up from her work long enough to look him in the eye. "You're in love with her," she said simply.

Edward recoiled slightly. "What?"

Alice laughed quietly. "That's funny. You're the only one who'd be surprised to find out that you're in love with her. Believe me, no one else would." She returned to her work. "Even Rosalie knew that."

"Cut it out, Alice," Edward all but growled.

"Oh, come on, Edward. There are worse things than falling in love with the mother of your child," she pointed out. She shook her head, clucking lightly. "It's the answer to all your questions. It hurts so bad because that's what happens when you're in love - you give another person the ability to take you to the most pure, awe-inspiring heights you never knew you were capable of... but it also means that they have the power to cause you more pain than you ever knew was possible. And as for why she did it? Same answer. Because she was in love with you - and you hurt her."

A thousand different thoughts shouted in Edward's head, each trying to come out at once. "I didn't... she is... what..."

Alice laughed then, sitting back in her seat completely. "If I wasn't positive that you're in a real bad place, this would be a sweet moment. I've never seen you so at a loss for words."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose with the hand that Alice hadn't been working on. "I'm glad I can entertain," he grumbled. Then his eyes landed on his other hand. Alice had drawn an intricate web design across the entire back of his hand. The 'spider' rested on the knuckle of his pointer finger. He chuffed, vaguely amused. "Tangled web." He sighed, rubbing his hand over his eyes. "What do I owe you?"

"Nothing...if..."

He raised his eyebrow at his sister-in-law. "If?"

Alice gestured over his shoulder with her chin. "Talk to your sister, Edward."

Edward twisted in his seat, seeing Rosalie standing outside the shop, watching them with a pensive expression and her arms crossed over her chest. He took a deep breath, not quite knowing what he wanted to say to his sister, but also realizing that he didn't want to be at odds with her any longer. He stood, and wrapped his arms briefly around Alice's shoulders in silent thanks.

"You want to walk?" Rosalie asked quietly, tilting her body toward the beach.

Edward nodded and followed her out the door. They walked back up the pier and then down the beach a ways in silence, simply reconnecting and retuning to each other. Edward had to acknowledge to himself that even being close to his sister had brought with it a certain level of peace. His whole life seemed to be wobbling and changing all around him - nothing steady and constant - but at least this part of himself was back in its rightful place or soon would be.

"I know I owe you an apology," Rosalie began.

"You don't owe me an apology. You owe Bella an apology."

Rosalie bristled but didn't argue. "Well, Bella isn't here. And I do owe you an apology. Not just because my actions put your daughter in danger... Which, Edward, you have to know that I never, ever would have wanted that to happen."

"I know," Edward said, his voice tight. Then he sighed, and bumped her side lightly with his own. "I know," he said again, this time looking at her so she could see he meant it. There were plenty of things that Rosalie could and would be held responsible for, but Demetri was simply not one of them. Time and distance from the situation had given him the clarity to come to that conclusion. Rosalie couldn't have predicted that venting her frustrations to her hairdresser could have had such dire consequences.

She smiled slightly and bumped him back. "Talk to me," she said softly.

Edward's lips pressed together in a thin line.

"Now that everything is out in the open about Alice and me," Rosalie continued, nodding vaguely at a duo of paparazzo that were trailing them a little ways away, "I have a little bit of perspective that I was missing before. I can be... level headed about Bella now. I promise."

They walked a few paces on before Edward relented. He talked to his sister about everything he had been trying not to burden her with since the whole situation began. From his decision to not leave Bella alone, to his increasing panic about not wanting to be a father, to his turmoil after Bella lied to him and finally about the conversation he and Bella had at their parents' house.

Edward stopped then and sat down on the sand, pulling his legs up and wrapping his arms around them. "I want to trust her, and I don't want to be angry anymore. But... the girl makes me irrational."

With a smirk, Rosalie gingerly lowered herself to the sand beside him, echoing his position before she spoke. "Do you remember what you said when you told me what really happened with the tape?"

Instead of answering, Edward flicked a pebble, watching it fly into the surf. Of course he remembered. He'd told his gathered family what Bella told him, emphasizing repeatedly to Rosalie's protests that he absolutely believed Bella.

"You trusted her, Edward," Rosalie said as if that explained everything.

"I'm missing the significance here. Maybe I was wrong to trust her."

"Don't start doubting yourself now, Edward," Rosalie said with a laugh. "You'll never be able to stick to it." She turned serious again. "You don't trust anyone. Why do you think you don't really have any good friends outside your family? Not that I'm not glad to do it, Twin, but I'm your best friend. There's something to be said about why that is."

"But I trusted her," Edward murmured, seeing what she was saying.

Rosalie scoffed lightly. "It pissed me off to no end at the time. You were supposed to be on my side. It took me a while to realize what it meant."

"What does it mean?"

"You were falling in love with her," Rosalie said bluntly. "Of course you were. Typical Edward. You've dated a few girls, but you would fall for the one that's the most complicated."

Edward rubbed his forehead with the heel of his hand. "That's what Alice said. It hurts this badly, and I'm this out of control because I love her."

"She's a smart lady, my Alice," Rosalie said tenderly. "Love makes you irrational. That's nothing new. Most of the people of the world have had to deal with it. What makes you think you're different?"

Edward smiled crookedly but didn't respond. Then he frowned, resting his head on his knees as he pulled his legs tighter to chest. He couldn't argue. Hearing both Alice and Rosalie say it out loud made it impossible to deny. Everything fit. Before... everything, she'd made him happier than he could ever remember being.

"Like I said, don't start doubting yourself now. You knew a long time ago that you could trust her," Rosalie said. "That hasn't changed."

At that Edward had to laugh. "You know, of everyone I would have thought you'd be the one just as angry, as me about what she said, if not more so. You don't even like Bella."

"I don't like Bella," Rosalie agreed. "And I was angry with her at first because I couldn't imagine being told my baby was dead. But then... Alice asked me, what if it was me? What if it were my baby?"

"You understand what she did?" Edward asked incredulously. That was the one thing that he couldn't make himself do. On a logical level, he understood that she'd never meant to say it out loud, but he couldn't comprehend how the thought had occurred to her in the first place.

"One of the reasons I've been so difficult about Bella is because I felt threatened," Rosalie confessed. "Motherhood... it's a crazy thing. The baby isn't even here yet and this...protectiveness I feel... it's intense. I saw Bella as a threat to that because she had a power, you know? She had the power to present our situation in such a way that she could make it seem like he's not mine."

Resting her head on her knees, Rosalie looked at him, an entirely sincere expression on her face. "The thing is Edward... there is nothing on this planet more important than my child. Nothing. No one. I'd do anything for him. I'd give up everything I had. Even Alice, if there was some reason for it."

"You mean, if you thought Alice didn't want him?" Edward asked dully.

"Exactly. And after Alice pointed it out, I actually got mad at you. Because I remember all the conversations we've had. You've said you don't want kids from the time you were thirteen years old," Rosalie pointed out.

Again, Edward couldn't argue. Even as they were driving to that first insemination appointment, Rosalie asked him repeatedly:  _Are you sure, are you positive you don't want this for yourself?_ The now familiar guilt pooled in the pit of his stomach. "You were mad at me?" he echoed, not protesting because, frankly, he was mad at himself for his part in how everything had gone down.

"Yeah. Because you did trust Bella. If you trusted Bella and you still didn't want to have anything to do with fatherhood, why were you insisting on being part of the baby's life? She doesn't need that - a father who couldn't love her."

"I know that," Edward snapped, knowing full well his sudden anger should be directed at himself and no one else.

"All things considered, knowing how you feel now, I'm glad you didn't walk away, of course," Rosalie said, her tone much lighter than it had been just a moment before. "But I am curious. I mean, you're the only Cullen child who's ever been good at doing exactly what he should do. Why didn't you walk away when that would have been the right thing to do for the baby?"

Edward gave a wry laugh. "It's almost as if I never had a choice. At first - before I knew Bella - I couldn't walk away from a child I was responsible for." He breathed in deeply. "And then... I couldn't walk away from her." Edward was silent as the truth of those words sunk in, saturating every level of his being. Again he laughed, a raw, desperate sound. "You're right. Alice is right."

"You're in love with her," Rosalie completed his thought.

Suddenly miserable, Edward nodded, remembering Alice's words from just a while before.  _There are worse things than falling in love with the mother of your child._

That might have been true, but that didn't mean he knew what he could - or should - do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you so much to TwilightMundi for beta work. She's made of awesome.
> 
> I have a thread over on Twilighted now! That's awesome. It's in my profile so checkit out when you have a chance. Also, check out the fantabulous new banner that Elliania made me. *sniff*. It's gorgeous. No one's ever done that for me!
> 
> So… just how weird are baby hiccups whilst IN the womb? Because that sounds all kinds of weird to me.


	21. Go Team Bella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for not posting last week!
> 
> Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer I am not. I'm just playing with these kids for fun.

Bella tried not to giggle as Edward growled at the various pieces of wood strewn around him.

It was a lazy weekend in early September and things were slowly getting better between them. There were still times when Edward's moods swung almost as crazily as hers did, but he was learning. Sometimes, though, it was very hard to remember what they weren't to each other. Bella often wondered if he felt it anymore: the pull that still existed between them.

More than once she had quietly lamented to herself. Most people lost their first loves. She sincerely doubted that they had to spend so much time with them though.

As her heart throbbed with an all too familiar ache, Bella tried to look away from where Edward sat, cross legged on the floor, assembling the crib he'd bought for her. Instead, she rocked in the same rocking chair that had once occupied the corner of her room in Forks, her eyes trained on the soothing green color she'd decided on for the nursery.

"I don't understand it," Edward mumbled. "I bought the same damn crib for my place, and it came together just fine." He tilted his head, ruefully running his hands through his hair. "Of course, it was Rose who put it together," he admitted.

At his casual mention of her daughter's second nursery, Bella's heart beat a painful tattoo against her chest. Frustration made her blood feel thick and hot in her body, and she hated that she was still in love with Edward. She hated it not only because the pain she felt when he was around was physical, but because it seemed as if she was being punished. Her unplanned pregnancy hadn't been the result of her irresponsibility, but she seemed to be suffering the ill effects anyway. To go along with her aching heart, she would always have to share her daughter.

"Hey, Bella," Edward called, trying to get her attention.

Bella closed her eyes tight, breathing in slowly before she turned to him with a forced smile. "What?"

He wasn't looking at her but was holding up a bag filled with colorful objects. "I thought we decided on the black and white mobile."

Bella bristled as her throat tightened. "I liked that one better."

"But aren't the black and white ones supposed to stimulate the baby's mind or some such thing?"

Her blood went from hot to straight out boiling in the space of a heartbeat. "What are you trying to say?"

Edward looked up, his eyebrows arching skyward. "I'm not-"

Somewhere in the back of Bella's mind, she knew that she was overreacting. That didn't stop her though. It was lucky that she was in the rocking chair as she was able to stand a lot easier that she would have had she been in a normal chair. "You think I don't care about the baby's mind? I guess it'll be my fault if she's not a genius when she gets to school.

"Well, I'm sick and fucking tired of everything being my fault. I made one mistake, Edward, one, unless you count the fact that I let you in my pants at all. You think you can't trust me? I lied once. You lied to me every god damned time you touched me knowing I never would have touched you if I knew what you were really thinking." With that, she pivoted and stormed away from Edward and his gape-mouthed expression, wishing like hell that she wasn't waddling as much as she knew she was.

She went to her room feeling like it almost wasn't far enough. She lay down, and after a few minutes her vision cleared and logic returned. She breathed in and out until the only emotion that remained was a dull irritation. Another outburst she had to apologize for.

No, fuck that. She hadn't said anything that wasn't the truth, regardless of if she'd been provoked or not. She was done apologizing, and if was looking for one he could go jump off a cliff.

Bella started slightly when she felt a hand on her hair and the bed dip slightly behind her. She hadn't even heard Edward come in, but he was there, and he was ... touching her. For a moment she flew, but then she ached when she realized it wouldn't last. Her mind and her heart were at war with each other over whether she should still want this tender touch.

"I was beginning to wonder where you were," Edward murmured softly, sounding a lot more light hearted than she'd expected.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, too tired to try and decode the meaning behind his words.

"The somewhat infuriating woman who never let me get away with anything," he clarified, still sounding more amused than anything else. "I haven't seen her in a while."

Bella rolled over carefully and looked him straight in the eyes. He was serious. His eyes were soft, but there was nothing but truth reflected there. She sat up awkwardly, pushing herself back to sit against the headboard. Edward remained where he was on the edge of the bed.

"I've been trying to be agreeable for the baby's sake," she explained. "Sometimes it's hard, though." That was an understatement. Bella had never been the biddable type. She didn't hold her tongue well in any situation.

Edward studied her, pursing his lips before he spoke carefully. "I don't think we'd be doing her any favors by not arguing." He smiled, a reserved smile, but definitely there. "You are a strong, passionate woman, Bella. I want her to grow up exactly like that - so alive. Never taking anyone's bullshit. Arguments are a part of life. I think maybe we could work on the way we argue." He tapped her chin, his smile broadening and Bella's heart stuttered. "Remember? Without lashing out."

How could she help but grin back at him.

Then his face grew serious again. "You know I wasn't trying to imply anything with the mobile, right?"

With a small sigh, Bella nodded.

"But I know you meant what you said," Edward continued.

She thought carefully, rolling words around as she decided how to phrase her answer. "I did, but it's not precisely a fair statement. You lied by omission; I was willfully ignorant. It was both of our actions that got us all tangled up, not just yours."

"Anger isn't about what's fair," Edward said, giving her a knowing look. Bella's lip twitched, knowing he was acknowledging that his anger at her hadn't always been fair. "Let it out, Bella. I know I deserve it."

Bella looked at him, biting her lip as every acidic thought she'd held back came to the surface all at once.

"I hate that you insisted on being a part of this pregnancy when you knew that I didn't want you there, and you didn't love the baby. I hate that you confuse me so much. I used to know exactly what I wanted, and now I'm so mixed up about ... everything. I hate that instead of being honest with me, you spilled your guts to my best friend the night before you got on a plane to be thousands of miles away. I hate,  _I hate_  that it took something so drastic for you to realize that you wanted a baby when everything was just... so destroyed already. I hate the idea of you taking my baby away from me, and I hate... I hate..."

"You hate me," Edward finished for her, his eyes drawn with pain.

Bella closed her eyes, her shoulders slumping as her anger dwindled. "No, I don't hate you."

"Ever think you should?" he asked, one eyebrow raised as he shifted, sitting beside her.

She turned her head slightly to look at him. "Did you ever hate me?"

He stroked her cheek once. "No, I've never hated you." He took a deep breath. "It's taken me a while to work through it, but I understand what you did." Bella looked up, her eyes widening slightly as she gauged the seriousness on his face. "I wish you hadn't done it, but at the same time... there was so much I could have done different." He tapped her chin again, his look intense. "I'm so sorry."

His words had an instant affect; Bella could feel the pressure around her heart loosen, not all the way, but enough that she felt like she could breathe a little easier for the first time in many weeks. Her lips turned up before she could help it. "Thank you," she whispered.

He sighed, crossing his arms and furrowing his brow. "Don't thank me yet. I have something to confess to you. For what it's worth, I realize that you never tried to make excuses for your actions. You took responsibility - and that's way more than I've done."

"You think?" Bella said wryly.

He smiled tightly. "I'm not oblivious to my part in … everything. You deserve to know, I did lie to you once, to get out of looking at things for the baby. I should have been there. I should have… done a lot of things I didn't do."

Bella blinked, remembering Jacob saying almost those exact words. Her stomach twisted a little, remembering how she'd defended Edward. It wasn't such a large revelation considering what they'd been through, but it still didn't feel good.

"But I am here now," Edward continued. "And I'm not going anywhere. And…" he trailed off, swallowing audibly before he turned to her. "Bella, I don't know if it means anything now, but nothing else I said or did was a lie."

For long minutes, they sat in silence, both looking down at their hands as they grappled with their own thoughts. It wasn't as uncomfortable a silence as it could have been. In fact, the atmosphere was less awkward than it had been since they'd begun trying to figure out their partnership. Inwardly Bella struggled, trying to reframe and redefine her own desires with her responsibilities.

On the one hand, Edward and Bella had found their stride as parents as much as they could before the baby was born. They'd talked logically about what they needed – cribs, car seats and the like – and how they would handle raising their daughter together. Edward had agreed that the baby should be with Bella primarily for at least the duration of Bella's maternity leave, but he had every intention of being a constant presence. Bella had agreed that she would be cooperative and had even given Edward a spare key to her house, trusting that he would understand the difference between being around for his daughter and invading her privacy. When Bella went back to work – though her capacity as a writer wouldn't have the same long studio hours that a production assistant had – they would reassess how they handled things based on what was best for the baby. They were finally on the same page when it came to their child.

Where they stood personally was another matter altogether. Their interactions, since Bella had confronted him at his parents house, had been a confusing mixture of uncomfortable, defensive, lighthearted and teasing all at once. Sometimes they fell back into their old patterns – talking as easily as ever – before Bella would feel like there should be something more acrimonious between them. They were exes, after all. But were they really exes if they'd never tried to define themselves before?

Bella's head ached along with her heart as she remembered her father's words about the impossibility of their personal relationship being separate from the fact they were parents. For all their stumbling – together and apart – they still hadn't managed to fuse their responsibilities and love for their child with the part of themselves that still belonged to each other. But at least they were putting their daughter first.

Bella was drawn out of her thoughts when Edward put his hand on her.

Edward had discovered, several days before, that if he tapped the side of Bella's tummy, the baby would tap back. She seemed oddly attuned to her father. Usually, it made Bella smile because Edward would get the goofiest grin on his face as he played with his daughter.

Today, though, her nerves were entirely too raw. It was too much to have him so close, touching her so tenderly... making her heart warm and expand. It was painful when she still had to face that they weren't a couple, eagerly awaiting the birth of their first child. Despite all her planning, she'd ended up with a broken relationship anyway.

The seventh time Edward tap, tapped on her belly and the baby tap, tapped back, Bella snapped. "Oh, my God, are you kidding me with this? Both of you knock it off!" She glared at Edward. He was pressing his lips into a thin line, obviously trying not to laugh at the furious expression on her face.

Inexplicably, his eyes got uncertain. Bella knew Edward well enough to see he was grappling with something. Then his eyes got a sort of determination in them, and he sat up straight, then leaned down until his lips were level with her belly. "Be good to your mommy, kid. We'll play really soon, I promise," he murmured.

Then he got up, saying something about finishing the crib, leaving Bella confused, then bitter. She knew better than to think other break-ups were easy. Still, it didn't strike her as particularly fair that she had to witness this completely adorable Edward when she wanted to hold on to some semblance of her anger. Anger made it easier to bear what she'd lost.

How the hell was she supposed to get over him if she could never be rid of him?

**~0~**

"Soooo, who you waitin' for, little brother?" Emmett asked in an irritatingly sing song voice.

Edward and Emmett were manning the grill. Technically, Edward was supposed to be working alone but his brother had decided he needed help. There were about twenty children and even more adults milling around the backyard. Katrina and Irina were on cloud 9. They ran around with matching princess crowns, absolutely loving the attention they were getting. This was the first year they'd had such a huge party for their birthday. Their previous three had been family only affairs.

"None-ya," Edward snarked at his brother. He rolled his eyes. They both knew who he was looking for. He had been upfront with his family about the fact that he wanted Bella at the twins' birthday party. There were so many reasons, but most of all he wanted to get past the awkwardness that was bound to crop up. Bella hadn't been with everyone in the family all at once since before the accident. He wanted to reestablish that connection - so she would feel comfortable as part of the family again.

Emmett chuckled, and Edward realized his eyes had strayed toward the people coming out the back door again. "You know, I've really missed her... and not just because she always gave me energy packs on Mafia Wars."

Again, Edward said nothing, concentrating instead on poking the hot dogs and burgers on the grill.

"Hey," Emmett elbowed his brother gently. "I know you didn't ask but, life's too short for regrets. You're going to miss out on all the good things if you're too busy dwelling on mistakes - yours  _or_ hers. You're both good people."

"I know," Edward said, his voice subdued.

It happened disturbingly often that Edward wished he could be more like his brother. Emmett's anger could be entirely fierce, but it was fleeting. If it were him in Edward's shoes, a wall somewhere would have suffered a violent beat down, but when Bella explained her side of things, that would have been the end of it. His anger would have been spent - extinguished like fire deprived of oxygen, with no smoldering ruins left to rekindle the flames.

But Edward wasn't Emmett. His world was a million shades of gray. Even now, he was conflicted. In his heart of hearts, he wanted it all. He wanted to grasp the second chance he'd longed for in those dark hours when he thought his daughter was gone. He wanted back the physical relationship and the good partnership he'd had with Bella to coincide with his new-found, complete love and adoration for his daughter.

Between that vision of having his own happy, unbroken family and where he was standing right then was the mountain of uncertainty he had. Whether or not he wanted to be over it, there was still a nagging distrust that occasionally trickled into his thoughts, making him question himself. His logical head knew that he could trust Bella, but his illogical heart sometimes thought that she would disappear in the middle of the night, taking his daughter away from him forever.

That feeling was slowly dwindling, and he knew that it would one day be gone for good. But even without those wayward fears twisting and tangling his thoughts and emotions, there was still the uncertainty of where they stood personally.

What if she didn't miss him?

What if what had passed between them was irrevocably broken?

What if she'd returned to her original assessment of relationships? Heaven knew that Bella was a strong woman; she wasn't going to run back into his arms just for the sake of not having to be alone.

Was it idiotic to even want to repair their relationship? They were on the cusp of parenthood, and Edward's head was swimming with questions and worries about how to be a dad. There was so much to think about, and his own stupidity had cut the amount of preparation time he had overwhelmingly short. What kind of moron would try to add a new relationship to his already overloaded plate.

But, as much as he hated to admit, Emmett was right. Life was too short for regrets, and it certainly wasn't going to wait for him to get all his ducks in a row.

Back in the house there was a gift, safely hidden in his room. It was custom made and very meaningful to him. He wondered how Bella would react – if she would understand the meaning behind his gift.

Just then, he heard the clamor of the twins calling Bella's name. His eyes flew to the back door. Bella stood between Peter and Jasper, looking slightly wary. Her guarded expression melted into an enthusiastic smile when she saw the twins. She stooped, bending over her belly to put her arms around them,

Emmett got to the group before Edward did and wasted no time in sweeping Bella right off her feet. "Emmett! Be careful! Do the words delicate condition mean nothing to you!" Edward chastised worriedly.

"Sorry, I got excited," Emmett apologized, setting Bella down carefully. He hugged her with a little less zeal. "Long time no see, Bella."

"Hey, Emmett," Bella greeted, almost shyly. Her face turned serious. "Listen-"

"No," Emmett interrupted. "If anything resembling an apology is about to come out of your mouth, I don't want to hear it." He put his finger in her face, staring at her with mock threat in his eyes. When she growled and then nodded her acceptance, he dropped his finger, becoming all smiles again. "Good. Glad we're past that." He turned slightly in Edward's direction to wink, as if to say, 'see how easy that was?'. "Now, my girls have something for you. Don't you girls."

"Ohhh! Yes!" Irina cried, bouncing in place.

"I'll get it!" Katrina said, scurrying into the house.

"No, me!" Irina protested, running after her sister.

While the girls were gone, greetings went around. Emmett shook hands with Jasper and Peter, saying it had been a long time since he'd seen them. Edward took the opening to come up beside Bella. He smiled at her warmly. "I'm really glad you came," he said quietly, just for her.

Her answering smile was small, and she folded her hands around herself, above her protruding belly. "It's a little weird, you know? Not just being here after… everything, but the whole growing family thing. I haven't been to a child's birthday party since I was a child. I'm an only kid. Both my parents were only children. These gatherings – with so many kids, and so much family around – it's still weird to me."

"Is weird bad?" he asked. It struck him, again, at how much Bella's entire life plan had changed in just a few months. She had planned on raising her daughter with one set of grandparents and a handful of amazing, loyal friends. Now there were aunts, uncles, cousins and then some to contend with.

"It's not bad," Bella answered. "It's different. I didn't miss it because I never had it, but I'm really glad that she will." She rubbed her belly absentmindedly. Then she shrugged slightly, looking at him. "I have no idea if the twins will like what I got them."

Edward stared at her openly for a few more seconds than was absolutely polite. He found reasons, every once in a while, to touch her. He petted her hair to soothe her when she'd gotten upset about the mobile. He offered his hand to help her up. He tapped her shoulder instead of calling her name to get her attention. But right then, he wanted to touch her for no reason at all.

Once the thought was in his mind it was almost impossible to stop. He raised his hand, his fingers stopping just before he reached her cheek. She was looking at him, and though he paused long enough to give her a chance to turn away, she didn't move. With the gentlest of touches he brushed her cheek with the pads of two fingers, almost sighing when he felt her soft skin against his.

Then two bouncing little girls were in front of them, reminding Edward that they weren't alone. As Katrina and Irina showed Bella the tiara that they'd made their mother get for her – it matched theirs, of course – Edward was fighting a blush of his own at the look on Jasper and Peter's faces. Obviously, they'd seen. Peter looked mildly amused. Jasper's amusement was tinged with more than a little concern.

"B'la, it's your birthday too," Katrina was whining, pouting as Bella tried to get out of being a pretty birthday princess.

"But this is your party," Bella countered.

"We'll share!"

The twins made good on their promise. After they roped Bella into wearing her princess tiara, they also made Esme put a candle in Bella's cupcake. Happy birthday was sung to Katrina, Irina and a blushing Bella.

Edward was finally able to wrestle Bella away from the festivities, telling his little nieces that the baby had to take a nap and since it was still inside Bella's belly, she had to take a nap with it. The girls were sympathetic, and each kissed the baby before scampering back to their friends.

"God, a nap actually sounds phenomenal right now," Bella admitted, sinking into the couch as much as she could. She rubbed her eyes tiredly, but she was still smiling when she looked up at him.

"You can lie down in my room if you want," Edward offered. "Or I could take you home… but before you decide, I have something for you."

That caught her attention, and Bella tilted her head, furrowing her eyebrows. "You didn't have to get me anything," she began.

"I don't have to do anything I don't want to do," Edward said, hiding his nervousness behind a teasing voice. "Besides, you got me a great gift."

"I really didn't," Bella argued.

"Regardless. You don't have to wear it, but I hope you'll accept it." He placed a long, slim box on the convenient ridge of her belly.

Again her eyes darted to him, and Edward wondered for the millionth time if this was a good idea. Bella wasn't a jewelry kind of girl after all. Looking skeptical, Bella picked the box up and tore off the simple wrapping. She let out a soft gasp as she pulled out the contents of the box.

It was a necklace. From a simple, silver chain, there hung a slim, rectangular, white-gold pendant. Etched into the top of the pendant was a shamrock. Set into the bottom of the rectangle were two small, wedge-shaped gems: a sapphire, Bella's birthstone, and a topaz, his daughter's birthstone.

"I got one for me too, see," he said, knowing he was babbling slightly. He held out his hand, showing the new ring that sat there. Also white-gold and rectangular, it was not as delicately cut. The gemstones were even smaller, and sat in slit that was carved into the ring. Instead of only two, there were three. He had his own birthstone, light amethyst instead of the usual pearl, along with his daughter's and Bella's.

He could see Bella's eyes were stuck on the small gems of his ring, her mouth hanging open slightly.

Someone clearing her throat distracted both of them, and Edward looked up to find his twin watching them.

Rosalie had been well behaved throughout the day. She hadn't directly interacted with Bella, but nor had she ignored her. The women had many things to say to each other, but Rosalie had insisted that a party was not the right place for it. So what she was doing there, watching them, Edward had no idea.

"Excuse us, please," Rosalie said sweetly. In the next second she'd grabbed Edward by his ear and started dragging him away.

"Ow! What the-" Mindful of the abundance of small children in the house, Edward censored himself. "What are you doing?" he swatted at his sister's arm, severely irritated. They were a far enough distance down the hallway that Bella couldn't hear them, but Edward could still see her staring after them curiously.

"You are confusing the hell out of that girl," Rosalie accused. "Did you see the look on her face?"

Edward stared, wide-eyed. "What?"

"You haven't told her how you feel, have you? That you're still in love with her." She held up her hand, stopping his argument. "Don't lie to me. You know you can't lie to me. Have you not learned yet that you need to be able to communicate with her if you expect to have a relationship with her? You can't just jump to the part where you give her meaningful gifts."

"What is going on with you? Do you actually want me to be with her now?" Edward asked, incredulous.

"I don't want to see you with her. You know that. I think you can do much better. But that's really beside the point," Rosalie said, huffing once with frustration. "In your situation, it would take jack-shit nothing for this to all blow up in your face, and then what happens? You'll be fighting over custody for the next 18 years."

Edward gaped at his sister. "You say I'm confusing? Well it must be hereditary because you are confusing the ever loving crap out of me, Rosalie. Weren't you the one who was telling me to get a lawyer from the very first day?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Yes, but as previously discussed, I was an idiot. I had my head extraordinarily far up my ass." She poked him in the chest. "The point, Edward, is that you need to be honest with her. About everything you want and everything you expect. I can't believe you haven't learned this lesson with all that's gone down."

Edward growled and ran his hand over his eyes, trying to find his patience. Usually he knew exactly what was going through his twin's head. Today he couldn't make heads or tails of the point of her words.

Rosalie sighed and tried again. "Look, Edward, despite how you're acting, I know you're not an idiot. You know as well as I do that starting a relationship with so much baggage and so many complications is a recipe for failure."

He laughed then, the sound somewhat raw. "That's what I told you about Alice."

Rosalie nodded. "You're just as stubborn, if not more so, than I am, twin. Whatever I think about Bella, I know it's not going to stop you from pursuing what you want." She nodded in resignation. "And I promise, I'll try to ... like her. I most certainly won't make things any harder for you than they already are. But you have to cut this not talking crap, Edward. Say what you want, and what you mean. Now. Not later."

Again Edward rubbed his eyes, and then he chuffed lightly. "You're right."

"Tell me something I don't know," Rosalie joked.

"But if you're really looking to make things easier on me, you need to talk to Bella too."

Rosalie's smile faltered. She scowled. "You're right," she said tightly, reluctantly. Then she rolled her eyes, gesturing down the hallway. "I will if you will."

When they got back to the living room, Edward was surprised to find Bella standing, her arms crossed and her face fairly livid. No sooner had they stepped in the room than Bella walked up to them, her eyes on Rosalie.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is now, but I'm done. I don't know how many times I can say I'm sorry, and I don't know any other way to make you believe about the stupid tape. And I don't know how to make you hate me less, and I'm just done," Bella said, emphasizing her words by waving her hands in a cutting gesture. "I'm not going anywhere, so just deal with it!"

For a full 10 seconds there was nothing but silence as Rose glared, wide-eyed, at Bella. She scoffed once, looked at her brother, and then turned away, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she went, her heels click, click, clicking on the wood floor until they heard the slam of the outside door.

Bella sighed and sat down heavily on the couch, her shoulders sagging as she put her hands over her eyes.

Clearing his throat softly, Edward tried very hard to keep the smile off his face. "So... she was actually just about to apologize to you."

Bella's head snapped up. "What?"

Edward's shoulders shook in silent laughter. "She wanted to ... try to apologize to you for how she's behaved in the past." Finally, looking at the way Bella's mouth shaped a horrified 'o', Edward couldn't help but burst out laughing. He laughed until his sides ached.

"Oh, shut up, Edward! This isn't funny," Bella cried, both her palms on her forehead.

That only made Edward laugh harder. He sat down hard on the floor, wheezing through his loud guffaws. He was sincerely trying to calm down, but after all the tension of the last couple of months of his life, it just felt too good to laugh. His heart felt even lighter when, seeing as no amount of yelling at him to shut up could stop him, Bella's own laughter joined his. Soon they were both holding their sides.

Then Bella gasped. "Oh, shhh," she began, but quickly corrected herself, "hhhooot." She folder her arms low across her stomach.

Edward quirked an eyebrow. "Shhhhooot?" he teased.

Bella wrinkled her nose, her cheeks flaming a distinct shade of red. "Um. I need to... be right back." She stood carefully, self consciously, but paused to look at him with a thoughtful expression before she left. "By the way... I'm cursing around our kid. Not like.. a lot... but I think the concept of bad words is ridiculous."

"Uuhhh, actually, I'm okay with that. A well placed swear word is actually a talent in my humble opinion," Edward said sincerely.

Bella's smile was larger than he'd seen it in months, and genuine. "Be right back," she repeated softly, and then was making her way to the nearest bathroom.

Edward spent the minutes Bella was gone trying to find the right words. Nothing sounded good. He reflected that no woman had ever made him feel this entirely out of control and nervous. It was like he was back in high school and his entire world hinged on whether or not this particular girl liked him.

"So," Bella said when she returned, sitting beside him. "The shamrock... it's like the ones on that wristband you wear."

"It's my family's crest. It means umm... eternal." He felt ridiculously bashful as he spoke.

"The baby will connect us forever," she agreed.

"Among other things."

"What other things?" Bella asked, her voice a little shaky.

 _Now or never, Cullen_. "No matter what you decide, I'd really like if you kept the necklace. Like I said, you don't have to wear it, but it is yours," he prefaced. Bella looked at him, waiting for him to continue. Edward took a deep breath.

"Look, Bella, I know that we went about everything the wrong way. But what I felt... what I feel for you... it hasn't changed." Tentatively, he took one of her hands, squeezing it in both of his. "I love you, Bella. I know it's probably horrible timing," he said with a shaky laugh. "But that doesn't make it any less true, and I promised I would be up front with you about everything.

"So here it is. Understanding that we will always put the baby first, I want a relationship with you. Out in the open, for all of our friends and family to know. I want it all with you, or at least, I want to try."

He took a deep breath, well aware that he was, again, babbling. When had honesty and plain language ever been so difficult for him?

"Please say something," he begged when Bella didn't immediately speak. The ball was in her court and his heart in her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks so much to lovemerob. I've been waiting to put the tap, tap bit into the story for AGES. Such a cute image. Thank you, thank you, thank you to jadedandboring. You should read her collab story Fickle Hearts by bahshit.
> 
> I don't usually rec stuff but this fic isn't getting nearly enough attention. Then again, I'm an angst hoor. If you've ever seen P.S. I Love you, you'll get the idea of Letters From Heaven by twitina. It's gorgeous. And angsty.
> 
> Just so everyone is aware, there are three more chapters and an epilogue left.
> 
> So - I want more Aliens stories. Foot sticking out of your tummy? Undulating skin? Let me have it. OH, and come join us in the forums. I'd love to hear from you!


	22. Not No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sooo... for those of you who received my teaser picture or text - THAT will happen next chapter. Blame Edward and Bella. They changed the plan on me. Again. Rawr.
> 
> Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer I am not. I'm just playing with these kids for fun.

Edward watched, his heart skipping one, two beats as Bella gaped at him. She opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again, and closed it. Then her eyes narrowed and she shoved him lightly on the chest.

"You… you… you." She stopped, swallowed hard, and then started again with an absolute torrent of words. "Do you understand that my emotions are all over the map right now? I cry for nothing. Nothing. And then I'm so beyond irritated I can't even stand my own skin. And then I'm so deliriously happy for no g'damn reason that I could have my own damn kids' show with those freaks who never stop smiling." She took a huge breath while Edward blinked at her in confusion. "And that's  _without_  you messing around with my feelings." She poked him in the chest as she spoke.

"I mean, first you're all doubting Thomas about me, as if I'm some horrible person who lied to you over and over again when that's not what happened, and you know it. Then you're all of a sudden all about this being a father thing. And I want to think it's great. I really do. I love that you want to be part of this pregnancy now. But… do you have any idea how it feels when you talk about my baby having two cribs, and two rooms, and two of everything? I don't want to think about being without her, Edward. I don't want to think about custody arrangements of a baby who isn't even here yet. And I'm so mad that we have to…" she cut off, taking in big gulps of air. She was tearing up and obviously irritated at that fact because she swiped at her eyes viciously.

When she opened her eyes again they were pleading and torn. "And then sometimes you look at me like you want to kiss me again. And I want to kiss you so bad. Or touch you. Or… or… I still feel the same way I did before. I fell in love with you even though it wasn't what I wanted. And I still… but everything is so… Ugh!" she cried, completely frustrated and flustered.

She flew toward him. Edward's automatic reaction was to flinch away, as if he expected her to hit him, but instead, she grabbed his shirt in both of her fists and pulled him toward her. Her lips were hard and needy on his, her hands twisting the fabric of his shirt as she kissed him. Edward heard his surprised gasp get trapped between their lips, but then he was kissing her back, confused but willing. His hands cupped her face, thumbs stroking her cheeks as they kissed for a handful of moments.

Then, as suddenly as she'd attacked him, Bella shoved Edward back. She got to her feet, surprisingly agile in spite of her condition. "I can't… I shouldn't…" she shook her head, covering her eyes as tears overwhelmed her, and spun on her heel, walking away from him as quickly as she could.

Entirely dumbfounded and clueless as to what was going on, Edward at first could only stare at her retreating figure. He shook his head, hard, trying to get a hold on reality. His mind scrambled, trying to understand what had just happened. He didn't know if he understood anything except that Bella had kissed him.

She'd kissed him.

Edward got up, about to run after here, when someone grabbed him by the back of his shirt, pulling him backward onto the couch again. He looked up, finding that the living room was more crowded than it had been the last time he looked. Bella's diatribe had been rather loud, and it had drawn his father – the one who had pulled him back – his mother, Jasper and Alice. "Let her go, son," Carlisle said quietly.

Jasper did not look pleased. "She was crying. What did you do now?" he demanded.

"In Edward's defense," Alice interjected before Edward could speak, "she  _is_  pregnant. I know everything and nothing makes me cry, so we have no idea if that little fit was Edward-induced."

"Umm," Edward said, running his hand through his hair nervously. "I think that was my fault. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. I really have no idea what the hell just happened…"

Jasper huffed once and then hightailed it in the direction Bella had gone.

With a groan, Edward slumped back on the couch, his hand over his eyes. "Dammit," he muttered under his breath. He felt more than saw his parents sit on either side of him. "She hates me."

"That wasn't hate, you dillhole," Alice said playfully. She was trying to make him laugh. It worked. Edward's lips quirked upward at the word but only slightly. "I distinctly heard the L word in there somewhere."

Edward had to think but then he realized Bella said that she fell in love with him. And she  _had_  kissed him. Hope began to worm its way into the dead weight of his heart.

"I wish I could help you with this one, Edward, but alas, I've never done anything stupid in my relationship with your mother," Carlisle said, patting Edward helpfully on the back.

Edward snorted. Esme down right cracked up. "Carlisle, you wore out the couch in our first apartment."

"Oh, right," Carlisle responded, smacking his forehead. "Now I remember. Give her a little time, son. Even if it didn't come out right this time, you can try again. Life isn't about knowing what to do in every situation you find yourself in. You just do the best with what you're given, and try to learn from your mistakes." He smiled slightly.

"What, you're not going to bust out the Jedi Master crap again? Try not? Do or do not?" Edward laughed. Feeling significantly better, he straightened up and gave a small laugh. "I always thought that if I did have a serious relationship, I'd be able to avoid the drama," he mused tiredly.

"Life is drama, sweetheart," Esme said. She reached over his head to caress Carlisle's streaked-gray blond hair. "You want to know why so many people wade through so much drama, as you put it?" She smiled at her son. "Because sometimes, it's worth it. You just have to decide if that's the case for you and Bella."

Before Edward had time to dwell on the question of whether or not Bella would think they were worth the drama, Irina came wandering into the room. She said nothing, just ambled over to Edward and lifted her arms, staring up at him with droopy eyes.

"Hey, birthday girl. Are you tired?" Edward asked, pulling her up his body.

"No," Irina mumbled, her head on his shoulder and her long eyelashes fluttering against his neck.

Edward chuckled. "I'm going to take her to my room to lay down," he said to his parents and Alice. He stood and headed toward the stairs.

"Not tired," Irina argued, sounding grumpy, but the words were more of a rumble than anything else. She was already becoming dead weight in his arms. By the time he reached his room, the little girl was dead to the world. He laid her down, carefully plucking the tiara out of her rumpled-from-playing hair and stroked her soft skin.

For minutes he just stared at his niece, taking the time to find the hints of his brother in her cherubic face. The dimples were pure Emmett, as was the curl of her hair. Irina and Katrina had also inherited Esme's lips.

Looking down at the child, Edward tried to imagine what his own baby would look like.

He was so looking forward to meeting his daughter.

Even if he could never have Bella, their daughter would be worth everything he'd found and lost.

**~0~**

Edward received a text message from Bella shortly after she fled the Cullen house. She said that she'd heard his words, she just needed a little distance. He gave her the remainder of the weekend, but that Tuesday - Bella's actual birthday - he went to see her.

"It's a bad time right now," she excused, not looking him in the eyes. "My dad will be here soon. We're going out."

"Please don't shut me out," Edward said softly, keeping his hand on the door so she couldn't close it.

Bella slumped a little, leaning against the door. She bit her lip, hesitating.

"Your dad coming to spirit you away puts a time limit on how long I can be here," he said teasingly. It earned him a small smile. "I swear it won't take long, okay? Just let me say what I should have said the first time."

She finally looked up at him and nodded, stepping back into the house and letting the door open wide to let him in. They were both silent, settling on opposite ends of the couch.

"Listen, Bella, suffice to say that not a lot about our... relationship is familiar territory, you know?" Edward began.

Bella snorted. "Because I planned any of this?"

One side of Edward's mouth quirked up. "You're right. It's a crappy excuse."

"No it isn't," she said, smiling softly back. She breathed in, her eyes inexplicably shy as she met his. "If anything, it was brave of you. The delivery could have been smoother," she teased, "but you said what you were thinking... and that makes one of us."

He tilted his head at her. "What are you saying?"

"Edward, even when everything blew up in our faces, my feelings for you didn't change." She looked down at her hands, playing with her fingers. She laughed wryly. "That's part of the problem."

"That's a problem?" Edward asked, navigating what felt like the most important conversation of his life in choppy waters with zero visibility.

She breathed deeply, wiping a stray tear from the corner of her eye and laughing again. "See? This is a problem." She gestured to hear tear stained cheeks. "You have no idea what this feels like. I've always known who I am and what I want. Since I got pregnant, nothing is my own. Not my body, or my emotions," another humorless laugh, "not even my baby is just mine. Everything is pretty much the opposite of what I wanted or even what I thought I wanted." She frowned again, wringing her hands fitfully. "Everything is very ... overwhelming."

Edward was silent for very long minute, worrying his lip between his teeth as he thought. Then he moved, kneeling before her so he could look up at her.

"I'm not even going to try and say that I know how you feel about ... sharing the baby with me. I'm not trying to take your daughter away. I'm a man who wants to be a father to his daughter. Not every other weekend...but as long as I live. It doesn't feel good to me either..." he struggled for words, "knowing that it's... very possible that I'll spend days, and weeks, and holidays away from her." He frowned because despite all its faults, his family had always been together. Imagining being around his siblings, with their families intact when his was not, was just painful.

He hesitantly reached forward, putting his hands over hers. "I'm sorry I was so conflicted. I was trying to do the right thing. But Bella, even now, I don't really know what the right thing was or is. I'm trying. I'm really trying."

She flipped her hands, threading their fingers together. "I know you are." She sniffled, but her smile as she looked down at him was gentle. "Guess they were right - about there not being a map through this life."

Edward grinned genuinely. "That would be too helpful." His fingers stroked along her wrist. "And... probably a little boring."

"I think I could deal with just a little more boredom some of the time," Bella said dryly, scrunching her nose slightly. She released one of his hands so she could cup his cheek. "I don't have any definitive answers for you. I wish I did. But I'm not saying no to us. Not yet."

Considering this, Edward nodded slowly, and turned his face slightly so he could kiss her palm. "Not no is good. For now."

For long moments they only stared at each other, and Edward thought to himself that even if nothing else made sense, this made sense - being with her. They could figure everything else out-

A sharp rap on the door made both of them jump. Edward furrowed his eyebrows, a thought occurring to him. "Bella...how much does your dad know about me?"

Bella winced. "Not... everything. But enough to be dangerous?"

Another rap from the door.

"How dangerous?"

"Uh... let's just be glad he doesn't carry a gun anymore."

Edward didn't know if she was joking. Either way, it was time to face the music. He stood, helping Bella to her feet. "After you," he said, gesturing her forward.

The last time Edward had met the father of a woman he was involved with, he'd been 17 and taking his first girlfriend to the prom. As much as he'd tried, that man had not intimidated him.

Charlie Swan, and the I-have-put-men-away-for-life glare he leveled on Edward, was... intimidating.

Still, Edward tried not to show that he was unbelievably terrified. He doubted he would have felt more nervous if he'd had to face Charlie having accidentally knocked up his daughter at 17 rather than 27. And it wasn't even his fault!

He offered Charlie his hand. "Mr. Swan, I'm sorry we've never met before. I'm Edward Cullen."

Charlie looked him up and down before finally taking his hand in an overly firm grip. "I'm not going to say it's good to meet you yet because I don't know if I'm supposed to like you."

"Dad," Bella said warningly.

Letting go of Edward's hand, Charlie took his daughter under one arm, hugging her close. "Happy birthday, baby." He looked back to Edward. "All right, it looks like I'm supposed to try to like you. For now."

Edward blinked sporadically. "Uh - thanks?" Shaking his head slightly, he reached over to squeeze Bella's hand briefly. "Happy birthday." His eyes flicked to Charlie for a moment before he put his hand on Bella's belly, tapping goodbye to the baby. He grinned when the baby tapped back. Then, nodding at Bella and her father, Edward headed back to his car.

**~0~**

Charlie was staring at his daughter. Bella had finally explained everything that had been going on since her fall. She'd never explained why she refused to call Edward, or what had led to her bout of depression. "Jeez, Bella," he said finally. "I honestly don't know if I should be telling you to give him a chance or telling you to stay the hell away from him."

"Who is Bella staying away from?" Jacob and Lizzie walked up to their table. Jacob leaned down to kiss Bella's cheek. "Happy birthday," he said, dropping a gift bag in front of her.

Lizzie hugged her. "Happy birthday. Ignore my obnoxious boyfriend. He still hasn't learned how to mind his own damn business."

"I met Edward," Charlie announced.

Jacob's eyes narrowed slightly, flitting to Bella before studiously flipping through his menu. "Really?" he asked with forced nonchalance.

"Hey! This is supposed to be a party! Why does everyone look so serious?" Peter's voice interrupted the tension. He hugged Bella, kissing her forehead. He moved to his seat, letting Jasper take his place at the birthday girl's side.

"Everything okay, sweetheart?" Jasper whispered in her ear.

Bella clung to Jasper briefly. "Your guess is as good as mine at this point," she whispered back.

She sat back, waiting for Jasper to find his seat beside Peter before she spoke to all of her friends and her father. "Look, all you guys need to be worried about is if Edward is going to be a good father. He's going to be a great father. It hasn't always been easy for me to admit that, but it's true.

"I know that my plan, even in the beginning, wasn't the easiest or most conventional. My plan didn't work, and I can't tell you what's going on between Edward and me, because I honestly don't know how to define us yet. But whatever happens, you supported me and my decisions at the beginning of this, and I'm asking you to do that now." She looked at Jacob in particular, her eyes hardening ever so slightly. "I do expect you to give Edward a chance personally. No matter what happens between us, he's my daughter's father. As long as you're stuck with me, and with her, you're stuck with him. Get it?"

Jacob looked somewhat amused. "You're not going to get an argument from me, Bells. I've learned my lesson." He pretended to shiver. "Your doghouse is chilly."

Bella cracked a smile. She turned to her father, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"Don't look at me, kid. I just met the man today. I'm not going to swear to like the bastard before I've really had a chance to get to know him," Charlie said flatly.

"You have a point," Bella admitted. "I'll talk to Edward," she promised.

Charlie nodded. "Good. Now, let's party. Anything any of you want, it's on me."

"All right!" Peter perked up. "Bella, don't worry. I'll drink your fair share of the booze as well as my own." He thumped his chest as a sign of solidarity.

"Happy birthday to me," Bella said dryly, grinning at her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to TwiglightMundi for beta assistance. She is a goddess of epicness and we all should heap our praise.
> 
> I would appreciate it if you put in a positive thought in the direction of jadedandboring. Do like Peter Pan says and think happy thoughts in her general direction. Thanks.
> 
> Since my lovely characters decided to take my plans and SMISH them to bits, I may or may not have one more chapter than I expected. We'll see how it goes. But this chapter was short. The next chapter will be long… so it's possible that we'll stay on target. /shrugs. Idk. Seriously… these kids do not do anything I tell them to, so it's really up to them.
> 
> Since people keep asking and I always forget to clarify, Baby Girl Cullen and Baby Boy Hale are both due on November 2nd.
> 
> Thanks so much for sharing all your stories. I'm LOVING them. Level with me. Late pregnancy seems like one of the most uncomfortable things ON THE PLANET. Is it? Anyway. Remember the forum is there to discuss. I do answer any questions or … uh diatribes? That people put forth there.


	23. Mad Dash Toward The Finish Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: See? Longer chappy. AND early! How 'bout them apples? To all my glorious reviewers. I love you. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to respond to you. If I haven't answered a question, please let me know. It's been a crappy few days at work and I dealt with the stress by writing in what little spare time I had. So again. Sorry for not replying this round. Forgive me?
> 
> Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer I am not. I'm just playing with these kids for fun.

"You're in a good mood," Mike observed, looking amused.

Edward looked up at his editor, trying to tame the wide grin on his face. He failed miserably. "Good lunch," he said with an evasive shrug.

Mike didn't take the subtle hint. "You sure it was the food and not the company?"

Try as he might, Edward couldn't be irritated at Mike's persistence.

A week had passed since Bella's birthday, and things were significantly better between them. They'd spent the majority of the weekend together under the guise of finally deciding on a name they both liked. In reality, it was just an excuse to be around each other a little more. Now that all of their cards were on the table, they were both trying to lower their defenses and really feel out how they worked together in all areas of their lives.

All weekend, Edward had touched her tenderly, but haltingly. They were little touches: two fingers caressing her cheek, hands intertwining for a quick squeeze, or his hand stroking her arm. Though she never pulled away, and squeezed back when he held her hand, Bella hadn't initiated any physical contact.

But that day, he'd surprised her at lunchtime by bringing pho over to her house - complete with spring rolls. They'd spent an hour together, and when she walked him to the door, she had shocked the hell out of him by kissing him. It was a soft, chaste kiss at the corner of his mouth, but she had lingered a moment instead of pushing him away. Then she'd stepped back, her expression bashful as she said goodbye again and closed the door.

"Ahh, things are going that well with Bella, huh?" Mike said, grinning.

Edward's smile faltered. "What do you know about Bella and me?" he asked, suddenly tensely aware that the last time he and Mike had spoken of Bella, Mike was putting his foot in his mouth. Edward didn't know if he'd forgiven his friend and editor for his tactless comment.

Mike had the decency to look guilty. "Leah is rubbing off on me. She and her co-worker, what's his name…"

"Jacob," Edward supplied tightly.

"Right. They gossip like old women. I swear," he rolled his eyes.

"I can only imagine," Edward said wryly, a stab of anger churning in his gut. He and Bella had also had this conversation. While he was entirely open to getting to know her father better, he was reluctant when Bella suggested a group hang out with her friends. Jasper and Peter weren't a problem. Lizzie was an unknown. But Jacob, the last time Edward checked, didn't like him. And Edward wasn't sure he'd forgiven Jacob for his part in the clusterfuck he was only barely starting to recover from.

But, Bella had pointed out that she was at least attempting to be around his sister. Fair was fair. He was going to have to face the other man eventually. As much as he didn't like to think about Jacob being around his child, Edward knew that Bella's friends were as much her family as his blood related family was. They fought. They made mistakes. They overstepped their boundaries. In the end, though, they only wanted what was best for their loved ones.

"Nothing bad was said about you," Mike placated. "I swear!" he defended when Edward cast him a skeptical look. "He wants her to be happy. And you… make her happy, apparently." Mike waited a beat while Edward contemplated how Jacob and Leah knew Bella was happy with him – half the time he wasn't even sure that she was happy when he was around. "And she makes you happy?"

Edward rolled his eyes, but then his look became soft. "She does," he admitted. "And that's all you're getting from me."

Mike chuckled, leaning back in his seat. "You used to be one of my boring writers, Cullen. I mean as far as your personal life. Come to discover your twin sister is a lesbian ex-model, and your sperm can actually knock up women you've never even met."

"Can we talk about food, now?" Edward said dryly.

Laughing again, Mike obligingly changed the subject.

**~0~**

"Bella, you're not going to start cooking with your boob milk, are you?"

Bella's fingers, flying over her keyboard a second before, stopped suddenly. She blinked, trying to process the words coming out of Jacob's mouth before she eloquently answered, "What?"

Her friend was lounging on her couch, flipping through some travel magazines he'd brought over. His and Lizzie's anniversary was coming up in December, and he wanted to take her somewhere special so he could propose. But, as Lizzie was fond of pointing out, he didn't have a romantic bone in his body. He'd come over looking for help, only to remember that Bella wasn't an overly romantic girl. They'd both come to the conclusion that he would just have to wait and ask Jasper.

"Some people do that, I hear," Jacob said idly. "They use their breast milk to bake," he clarified, seeing the flabbergasted expression on her face.

Again, Bella just gaped at him, trying to come to grips with this concept. "What like… Boob Bundt Cake? No. I'm not going to do that. And before you ask, I have no intention of eating the placenta either."

Jacob looked up from his magazine, horrified. "What? Who would do that? That's gross."

"I hear it's very nutritious," Bella said innocently, enjoying Jacob's discomfort immensely.

The doorbell rang then, and Bella furrowed her eyebrows. She wondered if Edward was back and automatically started worrying about the inevitable Edward/Jacob face-off. They would have to speak to each other again eventually…

"I'll get it," Jacob offered, hauling himself to his feet.

"No!" Bella said. "I'll get it."

Jacob raised an eyebrow but didn't argue. Instead, he helped her up. "You're a planet, Bella," he teased, pretending to struggle as he pulled her up.

"Thanks," Bella said, sticking her tongue out. "I still have six weeks to go, jackass. I'm only going to get bigger." She grimaced and rolled her eyes, heading toward the door. He was right behind her as she made her way to the door.

She found Alice on her front stoop, balancing a tray of cupcakes on a belly that looked like it was half as wide as she was tall. How the girl managed to stand upright, Bella couldn't imagine. "Hi!" she said, startled to see the other woman.

"Hi!" Alice greeted. "Is this a good time? I'm sorry. I wanted to call, but I realized I forgot my phone. The girls threw me a little party since I'm going on maternity leave early - my back is killing me and... well... I can. They're so delicious, Bella! Red velvet. To die for. I thought you'd appreciate them as much as I do, and can I come in?"

"Jeez, you're going to tip over. Let me take those," Jacob said, reaching around Bella to take the tray from Alice.

Alice blinked at him, appearing to notice him for the first time. "Who are you?" she inquired. She looked back to Bella. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you had guests."

"Don't be sorry. Come in," Bella waved Alice inside. "You're my third unexpected visitor today. This is Jacob."

"Ohhhh, Jacob," Alice said, suddenly wary. She looked Jacob up and down.

Jacob put the tray down. "I come in peace, I swear. We… kind of met that day your wife went off at Bella at the baby things store."

Alice made a face. "I remember. Vaguely." She sighed. "Rosalie and I got in such a huge fight that day; it's hard to remember anything else." She clucked. Then she fixed Jacob with a narrow-eyed glare. "But you would know all about unnecessary rudeness, wouldn't you?"

For a handful of tense seconds, the two glared at each other, tiny, very pregnant Alice standing her ground against Jacob's almost 7 foot tall, muscular frame. Then Jacob started laughing. "I like her," he said to Bella.

Despite their rocky introduction, Jacob and Alice got along well. It helped that Alice was a lot better at the notion of romance than Bella was. When she heard that Jacob was planning to propose, she took over helping him brainstorm without being asked.

By the time he left, the three of them had consumed a very healthy 8 cupcakes between them, and Jacob actually had a plan for how he was going to propose. "It was good meeting you, Short Stop."

"Likewise, Jolly Giant," Alice grinned, shaking his hand. Then she squeezed his hand hard enough that Bella saw Jacob grimace in pain and surprise. "Fair warning, you mess with my family again, and I will kick your ass. I don't care what condition I'm in at the time."

Jacob laughed again, this time a little nervously. "I believe you. Point taken."

Afterward, the two women sat at Bella's kitchen table, their swollen feet propped up on chairs. "You know what sucks?" Alice asked. "I have been eating all damn day today... and I'm hungry."

Bella laughed. "I know what you mean."

"Oh, lets order something. There are a thousand places that'll deliver, and Rosalie is filming late tonight. I picked up this flier for a place near here that seemed interesting," Alice said as she stood. "We can order a whole bunch of things and try them a-"

She cut off suddenly, her face contorting as her hand reached blindly for the edge of the table.

"Alice?" Bella was up and over to her friend as quickly as she was able. By that time, the other woman was bent over in obvious pain. Bella looked down, her eyes widening as she saw a smattering of oddly hued drops of liquid on the floor between her friend's feet.

"I think my water just broke," Alice said breathlessly. "And... Oh!" she cried out, her free hand going to her belly. "Contractions? I don't... I don't know what's going on, but it hurts. It  _hurts_! Bella."

"Okay. It's going to be okay," Bella soothed, though her heart was racing. She patted the other woman's back a little helplessly as she tried to think.

"It's early. He'll be too early," Alice fretted.

"Hon, breathe in, okay? I know 34 weeks is early, but he's going to be just fine. He'll be a little small, that's all," she said firmly, hoping she wasn't lying. Logically, Bella knew that every baby was different. At 34 weeks, Alice's son had every chance of survival, but that was dependent on his condition. "Here, we're going to get in my car, and we're going to the hospital right now, okay?"

She waited, not moving until Alice nodded, acknowledging her words. Alice took deep breaths, calming herself. "Okay. Okay, let's go," she said shakily.

Bella grabbed her purse from her office, digging through it for her phone. They hadn't taken more than five steps toward the front of the house when Alice cried out, stopping suddenly. Bella turned to find the other woman staring forward in sightless horror. She lifted the hem of her dress, sticking her hand down her underwear. "Alice? What's going on?"

"Something came out!" Alice said, her voice twisting with terror. "Bella, that's not right. That can't be right."

Bella's heart dropped down to her stomach, and her throat seemed to close. After she very nearly given birth to her daughter at 27 weeks gestation, the extraordinary guilt that she'd had no clue what to do in an emergency situation led her to read entirely too much about possible complications. Her head was full of the horrors that could befall a pre-term fetus. The result, though, was that she knew what was happening to Alice, and she knew what to do.

"Listen to me, okay?" Bella said in a calm but commanding voice as she pulled out her phone. "Get on your hands and knees and stick your butt as high in the air as possible. I'll explain in just a second."

Alice stared at her for one beat, her eyes completely lost and frightened like a child's, but she dropped to her knees and followed Bella's instructions. Bella's heart twisted when she heard the little gasps the other woman made as she tried to keep her breathing under control. She dialed 911, wishing she could take the time to comfort her friend first.

As quickly as she could, Bella gave the operator her address and what she knew. "My friend is 34 weeks pregnant. I'm pretty sure her water broke, and I think the cord is prolapsed." She addressed her next words to Alice. "Honey, I'm just going to unlock the door so they can come right in, okay?"

Without waiting for Alice to answer, Bella all but ran from the room to the front door. She unlocked it and flung it open, and then went back. "She's doing that," Bella assured the operator. "Look, I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I'm putting the phone down. I need to calm Alice down before she hyperventilates!" she said to the protesting man on the other end of the line.

Putting her phone close by on the floor, Bella carefully got to her knees beside her friend. Rubbing Alice's back lightly, she explained what she thought was happening and what would happen when the medics came. If it was a prolapsed cord, the priority was to keep the pressure off of it so the baby wouldn't suffocate. The position Alice was in was the best until she could be examined. She would probably need to hold that position all the way to the hospital. Bella left words like emergency c-section out of her explanation. Alice was smart enough to figure that part out.

"Rose," Alice whimpered. "Please, I need Rose."

"Where's your phone?"

Alice groaned. "Fuck! I left it at home, remember? Oh!" She clutched her arm around her stomach, grimacing in pain and crying in earnest – huge, helpless sobs.

"Honey, listen to me," Bella said, assuming the same position and putting her head down near Alice's. She reached out, stroking the other woman's hair with one hand while keeping herself braced on the other. "Just breathe. It's going to be okay. I can already hear the ambulance."

Alice sobbed miserably. "I'm really scared. What if Dash is dying inside me?"

"Dash – is that the baby's name? You never told me," Bella kept her voice even, keeping up the soothing, stroking movements at Alice's temple.

"Short for Dashiel," Alice said, sniffling.

"I really like that name actually. It's unique but not unheard of," Bella continued, trying to keep Alice talking so she wouldn't panic.

Another gasping breath, but Alice answered. "Rose thinks it sounds old Hollywood." Her face crumpled slightly again. "Rose…"

"You hear the sirens, Alice? They're almost here. And as soon as they're here, I'm going to hang up the phone with 911, and I'll call Rose. She can meet us at the hospital." Bella could hear the sound of vehicles pulling up in front of the house. She reached for Alice's hands and squeezed tightly. "You and Dash are going to be fine. Okay?"

Alice only whimpered, but she squeezed back. Then there was a clatter of feet in the direction of the front door. "Hello?" a voice called out.

"We're back here!" Bella called. She pushed herself upright so she was sitting back on her feet and looked around, trying to decide the best way to get up and out of the way. "I'm fine," she said, waving the man and woman who came into the room over to Alice. "Help her."

The medics arriving and getting Alice into the ambulance was all a blur. Bella did her best to keep out of their way, telling Alice that everything would be okay and that she'd meet her at the hospital.

The minute Bella got in the car she slammed her phone into the dock, scrambling for who to call first. It took her a moment to realize she didn't know Rosalie's phone number. Settling the Bluetooth headset in her ear, Bella told the phone to dial Jasper.

Luckily for her already frazzled nerves, Jasper picked up on the second ring.

"Bella? What's up? I'm a little-"

"No time. Jasper, I need you to get Rosalie. I don't have her number. Get Rosalie and get her to Cedar's Sinai right now."

She heard his breath catch and then his footfalls as he started running. "Is it Alice?"

"The baby's probably got to be born today. I don't know. I think…" she gulped, trying to calm her racing heart as she drove, the ambulance far ahead of her now. "I think something might be wrong."

"Fuck," Jasper cursed under his breath. "I'll get to Rosalie. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Fine. I'm following the ambulance… or trying to, anyway. Look, I'll call you if anything changes. Just get here. Please."

As soon as Jasper disconnected, Bella dialed Edward. She was almost to the hospital, and didn't realize she was holding her breath until his voicemail clicked on. Then she shrieked an enraged, "Dammit!" pounding her fist against the steering wheel. Until that very moment, she hadn't realized how much her entire being seemed to ache for him. She needed him so badly.

Before despair could overtake her, the phone rang. She hit the connect button on her headset. "Hello?"

"Bella? Sorry I didn't answer you. I was in the restaurant."

The dread that clasped at her heart seemed to loosen its hold slightly, and she felt strong enough to deal with whatever was about to happen. "Edward, Alice's water broke and there are… complications. I already called Jasper. He's getting Rosalie. How close are you to Cedars Sinai?"

"Jesus. Um. I'm really close actually. Thank God," he answered.

"Good. I need-" Bella pulled into a parking space and closed her eyes briefly, reminding herself that it was Alice who needed support. "I mean, Rosalie's going to need you when she gets here. I think."

"I'll be right there," he promised.

By the time Bella got to the hospital they'd already whisked Alice away. She was directed to a waiting room and told that someone would be down to talk to her as soon as they knew what was going on.

Ten minutes crawled by. Though it felt wrong, Bella had to take a bathroom break. The minute she got out, she bugged a nurse, checking to see that she hadn't missed any news. Then she sat, trying not to let the anxious feeling that made her skin crawl overwhelm her. Every time she heard approaching footsteps, she would look up, hoping and praying to see a familiar face – to see one familiar face, in particular.

The twenty third time it worked, and Edward appeared. "Bella?"

She launched herself out of her seat and into his arms. "You're here," she breathed in relief, burying her face momentarily at his neck.

"Baby, you're shaking. Is Alice-"

"Oh!" Bella disentangled herself from Edward. "I don't know. I mean – they said that she's in surgery. As soon as someone knows, they'll be here. I um. I name-dropped like crazy. Everyone knows this is Rosalie's wife and baby. I hope that's okay. I just… I figured it couldn't hurt. Maybe they'll be faster or better or… I don't know," she babbled nervously.

"Bella," Edward said softly, cupping her cheek to get her attention, "calm down. It's fine. I'm sure everything is just fine." He sounded as if he was telling himself as much as he was telling her.

His words soothed the nameless anxiety that was growing in the pit of her being only slightly. It was enough that she was able to think a little clearer. "Shit!"

"What is it?" Edward asked anxiously.

"I didn't even think about calling your parents. I should call them," she said, fumbling for her phone.

Edward stilled her hands. "I called them. Everyone's on their way. I even talked to Jasper." He grimaced. "He was having trouble getting to Rosalie, but he's trying."

"I feel helpless," she admitted in a soft voice.

He tugged her into his arms again. "Alice will be fine. The baby's going to be fine," he soothed, and again she wondered if he was telling himself that, as much as he was telling her.

The next person to join them was Peter. Twenty minutes had gone by. Bella frowned, knowing the studio was close to the hospital. "Rosalie was filming on location – a segment for her show," Peter explained. "Jasper got to her. They'll be here soon."

It was another fifteen minutes before Rosalie's voice could be heard, high pitched and somewhat hysterical, as she and Jasper came down the hall. Jasper's voice was calm, and he was obviously trying to calm her, with little success.

Edward stood, intercepting his sister as soon as she came into eyesight. "Edward!" she cried, her voice sounding ragged. "Have you heard anything? Have they said anything?"

"No-"

Rosalie whirled, looking around frantically. "I need to find someone who knows something. I need-"

Edward grabbed Rosalie's arm, pulling her back. "Rose. Rose," he called firmly. He waited until her wild eyes found his. When he spoke, his voice was gentle but firm. "What you need to do is calm down, okay? You cannot get in these people's way. They are trying to help Alice and Dash. You need to let them do that. Do you understand?"

For a tense second, Rosalie looked utterly furious, like she was about to hit her brother. Then she crumpled in his arms. Edward held her, rocking her slightly on his feet as she sobbed her terror out against his chest.

She had barely begun to calm when a nurse asked for the family of Alice Hale. All the nurse could tell them was that Alice had delivered a baby boy through caesarian section at approximately 6:47 PM. They were still assessing the baby boy's condition, but he was definitely alive. Small but alive. Alice had come through the surgery without any abnormal complications. They would likely know more – including when Rosalie would be allowed to see Alice or the baby or both, in a few more minutes.

By then Emmett had arrived, and it was his turn to hold Rosalie as she cried – this time in relief.

It was only another five minutes before a doctor came by. Edward and Bella both hung back, letting Emmett support Rosalie as they spoke in hushed tones. When they saw her sigh in relief, and even smile, Bella sagged against Edward, feeling the tension that had taken residence in her gut finally slide away. They were fine. They were both fine.

Whatever the doctor said had Rosalie looking over in Bella's direction. Rosalie looked back at the doctor, nodded, and shook his hand, and then was running at Bella. Bella didn't even have time to be surprised as the other woman threw her arms around her neck. "Thank you!" Rosalie said fervently into her ear.

"Wh-what?" Bella was completely lost as to what was going on.

Rosalie let go and knelt in front of her, so Bella wouldn't have to get up. "The doctor told me what you did for Alice. That you knew what to do. He said that if you hadn't known what to do, Dash could have suffocated or had brain damage. But he's perfect," Rosalie said, a huge, beautiful grin spreading over her face. "He's small, but he's breathing on his own. He's perfect," she repeated.

She grabbed Bella's hands in hers, squeezing tightly. "I should have taken time to tell you before. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for how nasty I was to you."

"Rosalie… you don't have to talk about that now," Bella said, a little numb and befuddled where this was all coming from.

"No, no. I've wanted to tell you. I've needed to tell you." Rosalie was obviously completely overcome with her emotions because she wasn't making any sense. She growled in frustration, wiping away a stray tear. "Just thank you, okay? I know I was wrong about you. I know. And I promise I'll make it up to you." She hugged Bella again. "Thank you."

"Doesn't count unless it's coherent, Rose," Emmett said, helping his sister to her feet. He grinned, showing her that he was just joking, trying to alleviate the tense atmosphere.

Rosalie laughed shakily. "Shut up."

Emmett pulled her into a hug. "Congratulations, Mommy."

Rosalie's hands shot to her mouth, her eyes shining. "Oh, my God. I'm a Mommy," she giggled.

Bella watched, smiling at all the happiness around her. She breathed a silent prayer of thanks that this had ended the way it had. If there was one thing she knew it was how terrifyingly fragile the tiny, helpless lives of babies were. She rubbed her hand over her belly, feeling the baby move beneath her skin.

Rosalie was passed from Emmett to Edward, and he kissed her cheek, his happiness for his sister evident on his face. She pushed away from him, her eyes on Jasper, and hugged the blond man tightly. "Thank you so much for this," Bella heard her whisper.

It seemed Rosalie had much to be thankful for today.

Edward returned to Bella's side then, wrapping one arm around her, and resting his free hand over hers on her belly. Bella moved her hand, placing his so that they could both feel the baby. Edward breathed deeply, his nose pressed against the side of her hair. "When you called tonight, I knew something was wrong," he said in a soft voice so only she could hear. "And when you said it was Alice... God help me... I was so relieved that it wasn't you. That it wasn't our baby."

As her lower lip began to quiver, Bella turned her head to bury her face against his neck. The emotions she'd barely been able to keep at bay over the past hour hit her all at once. She was close to breaking down. She could feel the quiet storm brewing in her blood stream. So many fears. So many variables. And she was desperately aware, especially now, that any number of things could still happen to the life inside of her.

Before she had a chance to really grapple with these emotions, a nurse came, telling Rosalie that she could see Alice now. It would be at least a couple more hours before she would be settled in a room where she could have other visitors. Rosalie hugged everyone - Bella included - before she disappeared with the nurse.

"Edward," Bella said, feeling horribly guilty for what she was about to ask. "I don't want to take you away from your family but... do you think you could take me home? I'm feeling a little bit too shaky to drive." She would have asked Jasper, but she was sure that her best friend was almost as eager to see Alice - and Dash, if he could - as Rosalie had been. The bond that had developed between Jasper and Alice was strong, and he loved her dearly.

Besides that, Bella felt strangely needy for Edward's presence just then.

"Of course," Edward said immediately. He gave her a once over, concern evident on his face, but he didn't question. Instead, he walked over to Emmett to tell him where he was going. Then, uncertainly, he offered Bella his hand.

Bella slipped her hand in his, the physical connection a reassurance she desperately needed at that moment. They ran into Carlisle and Esme on their way out, stopping to tell them all they knew.

"We have a baby boy?" Esme squealed in delight. She turned, throwing her arms around Carlisle's neck. "We have a grandson!"

The happy couple kissed in joy, and then rushed off to join the rest of the family. Again, Bella felt guilty for dragging Edward away. "You know," she said in a small, unwilling voice. "This is stupid. You should be with them. I can call Jacob or Lizzie to come get me."

"Bella, trust me. I will feel much better if I see you home safely tonight, okay?" Edward said, looking her straight in the eye.

Bella nodded, not arguing again. He walked her to his car, letting go of her hand only long enough to open her door and then climb in the other side. While the drove he held her hand over the gear shift.

When they got to her house, Edward pulled her over to the couch. "Talk to me, please," he murmured into her hair, putting his arms around her. "You're shaking again."

"I don't want you to be angry," she mumbled, curling against him. She wouldn't miss this: the over emotional mess she was some days. Still, she didn't think she could take him being mad at her. Not today. Not right then when she felt so entirely overwhelmed.

"Talk to me," he implored again.

Bella closed her eyes, leaning against him. "Just today... I remembered what it felt like. When I almost lost the baby." She gasped, tears hitting her suddenly. "I remember how scared I was. I kept trying to make it seem like I wasn't so scared, but I was terrified. And I wanted you. So bad. I just wanted you to be there. I don't think I was ever so alone.

"I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I'm sorry. This must sound so ridiculous. I just... there's so much that could still go wrong. And what if I don't know what to do? Or I'm alone? Or... even if she's perfectly healthy when she's born she could just stop breathing." Bella clamped a hand over her mouth, overcome with anxiety and tears.

"Bella, shhh," Edward held her close, rubbing her back. He let her cry out her residual fear. It took her a few minutes to get a hold of herself enough that he could cup her face in his hands, his thumbs stroking her tears away. "Are you listening to me?" he asked gently.

Sniffling and feeling completely, bewilderingly out of sorts with what was going on with her emotions, Bella nodded.

"I am sorry that you had to be alone for everything before, but I want you to know: I'm right here." His voice was soft but intense as he spoke. His eyes held nothing but sincerity. "Nothing is going to happen," he said fiercely, protectively. "Come November, we're going to have a stunningly beautiful, completely perfect little girl. But... no matter what happens now or years down the line, I'm here." One of his hands snaked down, finding hers. "I'm here for  _you_. I promise. You don't ever have to be alone again."

Bella couldn't say anything, as moved and comforted as she was by his words. Instead, she wrapped her free arm around him and laid her head on his chest. It felt so good, so right, to just let him hold her like this. For all the long, long months that her world had been slightly - or severely - off axis, for those minutes, the world was finally as it should be.

And then her stomach growled.

Edward chuckled, reluctantly unwinding himself from her embrace so he could find her something to eat. He cooked her breakfast for dinner while they talked quietly about everything and nothing important.

After dinner, Bella yawned, suddenly more than a little exhausted. Edward led her by the hand like a sleepy child to her bedroom, tucking her into bed. He sat on the edge of her bed, stroking her cheek tenderly as their words petered out.

"I should let you sleep," Edward said softly, but there was something in his voice that made Bella think he didn't want to leave.

"Will you stay?" she blurted, suddenly intensely needy for his touch. "Just for a little while?" As she read the surprise that flashed across his features, she backpedaled. "I'm sorry. You should be with the family."

"No," Edward said quickly. "There's not a lot I can do right now."

"Rosalie needs you," Bella reminded.

"Not tonight. Tonight she and Alice need each other. Visiting hours are over; I won't be able to see Alice until tomorrow morning, probably. Rose will be with her." He traced her nose, and her cheeks with the pad of his finger. "I can stay if you want."

Bella's smile was shy but pleased. She scooted backward, lifting the blanket in invitation. Taking only enough time to kick off his shoes, Edward slipped under the covers with her. She could see he was trying to give her space, but he put his arm around her tentatively. "Is this okay?"

Giving in to her want to smother even the small distance between them, Bella scooted toward him so her belly was pressed against him and her face was only inches from his on the same pillow. "Is  _this_  okay?" she countered.

He raised his hand to stroke her cheek. "Yeah." He leaned forward, and Bella's eyes fluttered closed as he brushed his lips against her forehead and then, so softly, against her lips.

Bella felt the tension of the day finally start to slip away, and she sighed contentedly against his mouth. With his fingers gently stroking her hair and his comforting presence wrapped securely around her, she fell into an exhausted sleep.

**~0~**

_Dashiel Brandon Hale_

_B: 9/21/2011 at 6:27 P.M._

_Weight: 4 pounds 10 ounces_

_Length: 17 inches_

**~0~**

**  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Big thanks to GinnyW_31 for helping me with some of the deets of this chapter. If you haven't read Coming to Terms you're missing out. Many thanks to Twitina for emergency beta services. I am so insanely spoiled. I love this chick. Best WC'er evar.
> 
> Dashiel was named by my lovely sometimes beta, TwilightMundi. I think it's bootyful. Tell me about your beautiful babies names? How did you arrive at your decision? Was it a battle? Names are some of my favorite things. No lie.


	24. The Weeks Go On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: They won't shut up I swear to gah...
> 
> Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer I am not. I'm just playing with these kids for fun.

_**  
~35 weeks~** _

It was odd how utterly normal it felt for Edward to drop by whenever he wanted, letting himself into her house as if he owned the place. Hearing his key turning in the door made Bella smile. As it was, he rarely left. After the scare with Alice and Dash they were both uncomfortable with Bella being alone lest anything should happen. When they were apart, they texted on a near constant basis.

It had been almost a week since Dash's untimely and chaotic birth when Edward came in the house with a ridiculously huge grin on his face.

"You look happy," Bella said, joining him on the couch.

He put his arm around her shoulders - another intimate move that they'd both become accustomed to over the last six days - and started fiddling with his phone. "I got to hold Dash today," Edward explained excitedly. Bella had to smile. Edward's adoration of his nephew and his nieces was never anything short of adorable. "He's so tiny, but he's got a good grip, see?" On the phone was a picture of Edward wearing the same goofy grin as he held the pink skinned baby in one arm. His other hand was held above the baby's face, and Dash was gripping Edward's pinky with two impossibly tiny hands.

"He's looking really good," Bella said, talking about more than just the baby. Of course, she couldn't help but picture Edward holding their child. The mental image made her heart warm and expand in her chest. "Is he getting out of the big house soon?"

"He's only got another ounce to gain before they'll let him out of the NICU," Edward explained. "Maybe a day or so." He flipped to the next picture on his phone, showing her another picture of him with Dash. He was obviously mid-laugh, his entire face lit up as he stared happily at the camera.

Bella couldn't help it. She lifted one hand to his cheek, sitting up straighter so she could kiss him. He dropped the camera in his hand to his lap. He turned slightly, his arm going around her as he pulled her closer.

As suddenly as she began, Bella turned her head away from him, looking studiously down at the coffee table her feet were propped up on. She searched for something to say, some excuse to turn to, as she listened to Edward breathe deeply. He shifted again, sitting back against the couch with a small sigh.

"Why do you pull away from me like that?" he asked, his voice remarkably calm and honestly curious. She flinched slightly, and he hurried to explain. "I'm not pushing you, but I do want to know. What's going on in your head? Sometimes it seems like you really want to kiss me, or touch me, but you're holding yourself back on purpose. I just wonder what the purpose is."

It was more than a fair question. Bella sighed lightly, wondering if she could put words to what she felt. She didn't want to hurt him, and she knew that quite possible if he took this the wrong way. "I'm not quite sure if I should trust myself, especially with you." She chanced a glance at him. Edward looked confused but not hurt. "Edward… you've never known me when I wasn't pregnant. The person I am, who I have been, throughout this entire pregnancy – it isn't me. Or I guess it's just this … version of me I don't entirely understand." His eyebrows furrowed, obviously perplexed. "I don't know how to make this make sense, so stick with me, okay? I am not normally an overly emotional person. I can count on two hands the number of times I've cried in my adult life and still have a couple fingers left over. Handling my mood swings, and how every emotion I have seems to be amplified times a billion, has been really difficult for me."

She looked at him, imploring him with her eyes to read between the lines and hear the words that she didn't want to say out loud. Especially with all the back and forth, good and bad atmosphere between them, it was sometimes difficult to believe what she felt for him was real. There were times when she questioned if she really did love him, or if it was another symptom of her pregnancy. What if it was some form of biology that drew her to Edward rather than any sort of compatibility? The child she carried was part him. What if her attraction was more pheromones than anything real? And if it wasn't real, how fair was it to any of them - herself, Edward or their daughter - to pursue what was already a very complicated relationship?

He blinked at her, and she could see him processing her words. A light went on, and he tilted his head, considering this. "Can I ask you something?" he asked slowly. She nodded, a little uncertain. "Just yes or no. Do you think I'm a good man?"

It was Bella's turn to look perplexed. "Yes, of course."

The barest hint of a smile appeared on his handsome face. "And do you agree we connect on an intellectual level?"

This made Bella laugh. They never ran out of words. "Yes."

"And we're physically compatible." He grinned, looking up at her from underneath his long eyelashes. Bella felt her cheeks get hot. "We both have our heads on straight as individuals. We have our own jobs and our own hopes and things we want to accomplish for ourselves. Neither of us is dependent on the other for our happiness, which I believe is important, but we do make each other happy. Mostly." He raised an eyebrow at her. "Right?" She nodded.

He shifted so his body was pointed toward her, and pulled her hand into his. His face was soft but serious as he spoke. "Bella, what I feel for you is real and stronger than anything I've ever felt before. Sometimes … it terrifies me, and I'm not even pregnant." He smiled, stroking her cheek tenderly with the back of his hand. "I've never before thought about my life in terms of an us … in terms of a family of my own. It's been confusing to say the least.

"I happen to think we're an excellent match, logically, but because I'm in love with you, I suppose you can say I'm biased. I'm not pushing," he reiterated sincerely. "I'm just saying… don't hold back just because you're unsure. If things change between us somewhere down the line, then they change. We'll deal with it. Together."

_**~36 weeks~** _

Several days after Dash was finally home from the hospital, Bella got a call from Rosalie asking if they could go out to lunch. Bella agreed and met her at Fred62.

Unsure of how to act around Rosalie, Bella opted for nervous joking. "Are you sure Alice is okay with you leaving her alone with the baby so soon?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes, scoffing. "As if we're ever alone with the baby." She smiled. "Between Mom and Dad, and Jasper and Peter, that little boy doesn't know what it's like to be put down. They've all been really good to us."

Growing a little more serious, Rosalie began to fiddle with her napkin. "To be honest, it's hard for me to be away from Dash right now, but I've put this off enough." She took a deep breath and looked up at Bella. "I know my mother told you a little of what ... happened to me."

Slowly, Bella nodded.

"Please don't think that I am excusing my behavior toward you. Not at all. I just want you to know where it came from. Trust is not something that comes easy for me as it is, and when I feel like my family, Alice and Dash especially, are threatened ... well ... I can be unreasonable," she explained.

"I'm not completely blind. I know that what happened at the clinic put you in a potentially horrible situation, and I know I didn't do anything to help that. At the time, it felt like I was losing everything," Rosalie said tightly. "And if you know my brother's pig-headedness at times, then amplify that times about a billion. I didn't  _want_ to see you as a woman who, just like me, had a family to protect. I saw you as ... them: the people in this business who just want to take everything that benefits them with no concern as to who they hurt."

She looked up, her blue eyes sad and pleading. "You can't imagine the lengths I've gone through to keep Alice separate from all that. She's suffered enough, and I've hurt her enough. Obviously, I knew that I couldn't keep her safe forever, but I wanted everything to happen on my terms." She laughed a little bitterly. "I'm not really good at dealing with the control being taken out of my hands. Does that make sense?"

Bella gave a short laugh of her own. "Yes. Absolutely that makes sense." She knew all too well what it felt like to have carefully laid plans spiral completely out of her control.

Rosalie gave her a small smile. "Of course. You would know." She shook her head slightly. "Alice said that under different circumstances we probably would have helped each other a lot."

"Maybe," Bella allowed, her lips twisting slightly. She had trouble thinking that she and Rosalie would ever have much in common.

"All that aside, Bella, I want you to know that I am sorry for a lot. If I'm being completely honest, I'm not sorry for everything because, you know, I think if I wasn't suspicious of you, I'd have been doing my family a disservice," she said quickly, her eyes looking somewhat apologetic that she felt that way. "But I could have been ... nicer about it, for Edward's sake ... and my niece's sake. I'm trying to feel differently about you. I've  _been_ trying to be better."

"No, I can see that," Bella said quickly. She smirked before she could help herself. "When I yelled at you at the birthday party? Yeah, I bet it took quite a bit to walk away and not yell back. Sorry for that by the way."

Rosalie actually grinned. "I kind of had that coming. But, yes, I had just promised Edward I'd be on my best behavior ... and my best behavior was to walk away before I could open my big mouth," she admitted with a little giggle. The tension that always existed between the two women was dissipating slowly. Though Bella couldn't say they'd ever be close, at least they could be friends.

Again, Rosalie's face got serious. "I want you to know that I believe you about the tape. It makes sense. Aro can be as big of a sleezebag as Royce is when he has something juicy on his hook." Rosalie made a hard, angry face. "And Bella, I am so, so sorry about Demetri. I would never -"

"I know," Bella said, cutting the other woman off because she could feel her chest get tight with oncoming panic at even the thought of that day.

Rosalie nodded, obviously getting the point. "Anyway, Mom is having a big dinner for everyone to celebrate Dash coming home from the hospital. You should come and meet him." Rosalie's grin then was blinding, reminding Bella so much of Edward. "He's the most awesome little guy you'll ever meet. And I know Alice wants to see you."

"I don't want to intrude," Bella hedged, though she did want to see Alice and meet the baby. "It should be a family thing."

"Bella," Rosalie said in an admonishing tone, "you are family."

**~0~**

"Hey, Babe!" Emmett called across the room looking toward his wife. He bounced the baby lightly in his arm, grinning harder when the tiny boy gurgled in apparent pleasure. "I want one of these. A boy like Dasher."

Tanya's answering expression was wry as she glanced tiredly at the twins. They'd been extremely hyperactive that evening - likely trying to win back the attention that their cousin had stolen from them. Only Emmett would have thought it was a good time to ask for more children. "Can we name him Donner?" Tanya deadpanned.

Sitting right next to Emmett, Bella tried not to giggle but she couldn't help it. He turned toward her, raising an eyebrow. Then he began to hand her the baby, settling him carefully in her arms and talking over her protests. "You take this. I must do very naughty things to my wife so that she agrees to bear me a boy child."

Before Bella could argue, Emmett was bounding across the room to his wife. His arms circled her waist and he started nuzzling her neck. "Give in, woman!"

Tanya giggled, twisting in his grip. "What? Right here?" She put her arms around his neck, pulling herself up for a kiss. "Your mother would be scandalized."

"Serves her right," Emmett scoffed. "Do you know how badly she and Dad traumatized us with the public displays of affection?"

Shaking her head, Bella turned away from the happy couple, looking to the warm little bundle in her arms. Dash was yawning, his hands falling randomly against her as he explored the new set of arms that held him. She rocked the baby gently, awed by his miniature features. She could see so much of Alice in him but...

She turned to Jasper on her other side. "He looks like you," she said very quietly, so only he and perhaps Peter, sitting beside him, could hear.

Jasper's eyes flitted up from the baby to her. For a fraction of a moment, she thought she saw a hint of sadness, and she wondered if it was hard for him - knowing he wasn't going to be a father to this child. But it was only there for a second, and his smile was genuine as he reached out to stroke one finger across the baby's head. "He's a handsome devil, I'll tell you that much."

"I wouldn't mind that, you know?" Peter said, twining his hand with his lover's and resting his head on Jasper's shoulder. "A passel of little ones as pretty as you."

"Why me? Why not you? You're plenty pretty," Jasper said, quirking an eyebrow, a smile playing at his lips. "And how many are in a passel?"

Bella had to laugh. Baby fever had certainly taken over the Cullen house.

A familiar presence stopped in front of her then, and she smiled, looking up into Edward's eyes. He smiled back. "Isn't carrying one baby at a time enough?" He sat down in Emmett's vacated seat, putting his arm around her.

"Your mother and Tanya managed two at once," she pointed out. Then she shuddered. "Thank God this one is a single."

"That's what I'm saying," Tanya muttered, settling on Emmett's lap on the recliner across the room. She turned to her husband. "We'll end up with another set of twins and never sleep again. Besides that, Casanova, you're doomed to raise girls. It's karma." She shook her head. "I'm already not looking forward to how many psychologist bills we're going to have to pay for when you terrify all of the girls' boyfriends."

Emmett balked. "How many boyfriends do you think they'll have? The boys will learn after I kill the first one." He looked uncharacteristically serious as he contemplated this. "Then again, teenage boys are their own special brand of idiot. I would know."

Tanya made a face. "God, it's a good thing we have a psychologist in the family," she muttered.

"You think I'm going to be bad?" Emmett scoffed. He pointed with his chin at his little brother. "Edward's going to be 10 times worse than I'll ever be."

"It won't be a problem," Edward said fervently, putting a possessive hand over Bella's distended stomach. "I've got plans."

Bella turned her head to look at him. "You've got plans? For when she's a teenager? Are you kidding me?"

"An ounce of prevention," he said sagely, looking completely serious.

_**~37 Weeks~** _

"Watch this, Jake," Bella whispered, catching her best friend's attention. They were at what was being called a baby shower but, thank goodness, was really just another Cullen get together with more food and more people. Bella had been worried about being the center of attention - even if she had to share the spotlight with Alice. Luckily, baby Dash was having a grand ol' time as the center of attention.

Jake looked vaguely horrified. "That's... actually kind of gross and weird," he said, scrunching up his nose as he watched her stomach undulate. "It's lopsided!"

Edward, who had gone to get Bella a cup of fruit punch, returned then, handing her the cup and tucking her under his arm as he sat down. He kissed her cheek, and Bella had to try not to roll her eyes. The strained relationship between Jacob and Edward was civil, but Edward tended to be much more demonstrable toward her in the other man's presence.

"Your mom sure knows how to throw a party," Jacob said amicably. "She even brought a freakshow," he pointed to Bella's stomach.

Edward frowned, obviously unsure if he appreciated Jacob calling his daughter a freakshow. Before he could start arguing, Bella tugged on his hand, putting it to where the baby was trying to kick her way out. Automatically, Edward's smile returned. He tap, tapped at his daughter and she, obligingly, tap, tapped back.

"I'm not a drum," Bella admonished, but she leaned against him, her head on his shoulder. She hissed then, her hand going to her belly, and both men jumped. "I'm fine, I'm fine," she said, breathless as she waiting for the pain to pass. "She's just using my internal organs as a bounce house."

Jacob relaxed though Edward still seemed tense. "Babies sometimes break their mom's ribs," her friend said helpfully.

Luckily, Lizzie came back then and smacked Jake upside the head. "I don't know what you're talking about, but you probably deserved it," she said. Any further arguing was stilled as she put a plate of ribs - the barbecued kind - on his lap.

The shower was, as Esme had promised, sans even a single baby shower game. It was a gathering of friends and family, celebrating little Dash and the impending birth of Bella and Edward's baby girl. Everyone Bella loved or was coming to love was there. Her father seemed to be getting along great with Carlisle. Alice's friend Charlotte was becoming fast friends forever with Peter. They were almost as cute as Alice and Jasper were together. Even Mike and Leah were there. The seemingly permanent scowl on the woman's face was gone more often than not as she smiled at Mike's ridiculous antics.

Looking at the gathered people who had come together, showering her unborn baby with more than she would physically need in her first year of life, Bella couldn't help but reflect again how much her life had changed. She knew her daughter would have been well loved and just fine with only her, but she was glad that her little girl was being born into this crazy, mishmash of wonderful people.

Bella supposed she could have been bitter about how complicated her life had become, but given the choice between dwelling on the sometimes stressful, irritating moments that would happen in a big family and basking in love in all of its ups, downs, forms and fashions, she chose to bask.

_**~38 Weeks~** _

At the shower, Charlie had insisted on taking Edward fishing. "No better way to get to know a man than out on the water," he'd said. "Leave this ridiculously big city behind until there's just water as far as the eye can see."

Always a smart man, Edward's overactive mind was turning with scenarios. If Charlie threw him over the side of the boat, would anyone find his body?

As ridiculous as the thought was, it was enough to prompt Edward to ask if his father and brother could come. Surprisingly, Charlie had been amenable. "Dads only trip," he'd nodded, clapping Edward on the back. "I like it."

The day had, surprisingly, not been as bad as he expected. Charlie, Carlisle and Emmett spent the day alternating between scaring the hell out of Edward with tales of fatherhood and answering the litany of questions he didn't even know he had. Once he started, Edward found he couldn't stop. As much as he was looking forward to meeting his baby girl, he was terrified he would fuck it all up.

The consensus between the three of them was unanimous. "Son, I can tell you without a doubt that you are absolutely going to fuck it up at some point," Carlisle said, patting his back helpfully.

"It's inevitable," Emmett agreed.

"Don't worry so much, kid," Charlie said consolingly. "You do the best you can. You love them. And if you fuck it up too badly, just know that I'll be there to kick your ass." He smiled when he said it.

For once helping his brother out, Emmett changed the subject. "Level with me, Charlie. How did you deal with teenage boys around your daughter."

Charlie seemed amused. "Honestly, Bella wasn't ever boy crazy, so that was a relief. Whenever she did bring a boy around though it was the damnedest thing. My gun always seemed to be in need of a cleaning."

They returned to Bella's house where Esme, Tanya, Bella and the twins waited. Emmett and Carlisle went to their wives, but Charlie held Edward back a moment. He sighed. "You seem like good people, Edward," he said finally. "I know that the whole situation between you and Bella is more complicated than I'll ever understand, and I think you've probably reacted better than most. However, just know that if you ever hurt my girls, you'll answer to me."

"I won't," Edward said fervently. "Hurt them I mean." He paused. "I love them both," he admitted quietly.

Charlie smiled tightly. "Yeah, I can see that." He offered Edward his hand and they shook. "Best of luck, kid. Fatherhood is ... well... interesting. Better than anything you could ever imagine, but it'll give you a gray hair or fifty."

They got out of the car then. Edward found Bella on the opposite side of the living room from where his father and brother stood. Not entirely grasping what was going on, he tried to go to her, only to have her hold out a hand. "You reek. If you have any intention of staying, you'd better get your ass in the shower."

Edward grinned but readily obeyed.

When he came out of the shower, his family and Charlie were gone. Bella sniffed the air around him carefully, before surprising him by throwing her arms around his neck. She pulled his face down to her and kissed him. Pleasantly surprised, Edward wrapped his arms around her, supporting the small of her back and enjoying it while it lasted. To his shock, Bella deepened the kiss, her tongue sliding across his lips and then, when he opened his mouth, lapping gently at his. Her fingers played with his hair, sending a pleasant wave of pleasure down his spine. Her body could only be closer to his if they were naked and joined, though Edward gladly traded that for the feeling of her hard stomach between them.

When they were both breathless, Edward blinked at her, stunned. "Um, not that I'm arguing, but what did I do to deserve that?"

She smiled up at him, still panting. "It takes a lot to impress my dad."

Edward made a face. "That was impressed? Jesus, what happens when he's pissed off?"

Bella scrunched her nose. "Don't piss him off."

_**~39 weeks~** _

"No," Bella said firmly. Alice pouted, putting on a devastated expression, but before she could please again, Bella interrupted. "I am not going to let you paint the Death Star on my stomach." She was huge and uncomfortable. The idea of sitting still long enough get something that intricate done made her moodier - which was saying something.

Alice calmly shifted Dash in her arms, switching breasts. "I don't understand how you can pass up an opportunity like this. A lot of people would kill for such a natural prop." She looked down at her son, smiling wryly. "I was robbed."

"Look at me!" Bella made and exasperated, exaggerated gesture at her ginormous tummy. "Ready to pop is an understatement. With my luck, I'd go into labor and the doctor's hands would be covered in makeup," she groused, crossing her arms grumpily.

Alice had the nerve to chortle. "You do remember that I had a henna tattoo all over my belly when Dash was born, right? That must have been ridiculous."

Seeing that she would get no sympathy from Alice, Bella turned to Jake who had - so far - stayed out of the conversation. Instead of looking sympathetic, he looked thoughtful. "I don't know Bella. It does seem like a shame to waste this opportunity, especially since you're going to a party tonight. And you know a stunningly brilliant makeup artist." Jacob's grin was full of teeth. "I'm thinking you should go one better than just flat makeup. I can make it look like the kid is bursting out of you. I just need like one of those little dolls? I have the rest of the makeup in my -"

"I said no!" Bella shouted, banging her fist on the table in irritation.

Startled, Dash started to cry, and Bella buried her head in her hands. As Alice tried to soothe the baby, Bella breathed in deeply, trying not to burst into tears. As it was, she hated that she had been asked, by her new boss, to make an appearance despite how heavily pregnant she was. The bigwigs didn't typically care about such things given how many starlets had worked or attended Oscar parties and the like at 35 weeks plus. Her boss had promised she only had to be there for a half hour tops.

And Edward would be there.

In fact, when Edward dropped by a few minutes later, he shooed Jacob and Alice away and rubbed Bella's shoulders until she felt a little better. "Fuck costumes," he said succinctly. "Put your hair up, put on something comfortable and ... cotton. We'll go in. I won't let you go. We'll get out."

Bella put her arms around him, feeling calm for the first time that day. "Thank you."

That evening, as he promised, Edward did not leave her side. He kept his arm wrapped around her, fending off the inevitable attempted belly pats. Then he took her home.

"Stay," she said. It was more than not wanting to be alone in case she went into labor, though that was an obvious plus. Edward was everything she could have asked for in a partner. He was attentive and as attuned to her needs as she let him be. The past few weeks he had gone out of his way more times than she could count just to make life a little easier on her. When she asked, he said that it seemed like the least he could do, seeing as he couldn't carry their baby for her.

As much as Bella had planned to do this alone, though she knew she would have been fine on her own, she found she now couldn't imagine going through any of this without him.

Edward smiled and nodded, kicking off his shoes.

"You can get... more comfortable. If you want," she said shyly.

He paused, looking at her with a contemplative expression. Then he grinned somewhat lasciviously. "I don't know, Bella. If I climb into bed with you with nothing but my skivvies, I might not be able to keep my hands to myself."

"First of all, who actually uses that word?" she giggled. "Secondly, you don't have to make me feel good, you know."

He tilted his head, blinking as if trying to understand what she'd just said. Then he got on his knees on the bed and slowly crawled over to her as he spoke. "Bella, I know we've had this conversation before. Are you even aware how utterly sexy you are?"

Bella laughed nervously, part of her sure he was kidding. The other part of her was wrapped up in how his eyes looked - full of unmistakable lust. He wanted her. Despite the fact she better resmbled a Goodyear blimp, he still wanted her.

His hand landed on her knee then, tracing lazy circles that made her shiver. "You're beautiful," he murmured, lying on his side next to her. His hand traveled up the inside of her thigh, making her breath stutter. He walked his fingers up her skin, inside her shirt, until he rested his hand over her belly. "This ... you can't imagine how ..." he trailed off, and the emotion in his eyes profound. "What you're doing here is incredible. It could never be a turn off." He traced her nose with the pad of one finger, the motion inexplicably intimate and tender. "Do you understand?"

She nodded, and he kissed her. Their kisses were so tender and unhurried. She felt treasured. "You make me feel beautiful." He made her feel completely feminine.

He kissed her again and pulled away long enough to strip out of his suit. Then he crawled under the covers, holding her with his chest against her back. "Go to sleep, my beautiful Bella," he murmured.

Though she woke several times, needing to pee or simply too uncomfortable to stay asleep, his presence in her bed and his waiting arms always made her feel that much better.

In the sleepy light of dawn, she smiled at him, feeling serene and peaceful. "I love you," she said as she slipped back to sleep.

**~40 Weeks~**

"Agh, why is this so hard?"

Edward smiled at Bella's irritated face and tapped her nose with the tip of his finger. "This is important stuff. Naming a child. She's going to be stuck with it forever."

"Or at least until she's old enough to beg to change it," Bella grumbled.

They'd been stuck on the same list of five names for almost a month. Down to the finish line, Bella was almost anally focused on choosing the perfect name. "You know," Edward suggested, lifting himself off the floor so he could sit with her on the couch, "we could just wait to meet her. See what name fits."

"I suppose," Bella said, obviously not liking the idea of putting this decision off.

She was restless, and who could blame her? Everything was done. The nurseries in both of their houses were painted and cribs put together. They were stalked up on diapers of every size for many months. The dresser was full of tiny articles of clothing - probably more than the little girl would even need. They had blankets, a stroller, two carseats, diaper bags coming out of their ears, creams, powders and playsets.

All they were missing was a newborn baby.

Edward wished she would get here. Not only was he on tenterhooks, impatient to meet his daughter, but poor Bella ... She just looked so ponderously awkward and uncomfortable. His back and legs ached just looking at her.

"What are the twins' middle names?" Bella asked suddenly.

Edward smirked. "My middle name is Anthony and Rosalie's is Lillian."

"Very funny," Bella replied dryly, but she did look vaguely amused, and he was glad he cold make her smile.

"Irina Rose and Katrina Antonia," Edward answered honestly. "Emmett wanted to name one of them after Rosalie, and Tanya liked the idea of naming one set of twins after the other."

"That's interesting," Bella said, deep in thought. She sighed and put her feet up on his lap. "You're right. Maybe we should meet her first."

Edward knocked gently on her belly. "Hey in there. If you're not too busy, you can join us at any time."

They both waited. The baby didn't even tap back. "She must be asleep," Bella said, smiling tiredly.

"Or ignoring us," Edward teased. "You know we're doomed. You and I are two of the most obstinate people on the planet - you especially -"

"Ha!"

"We're doomed to have a hard headed child."

"Hopefully not too hard headed," Bella muttered distractedly. "I'm the one who has to give birth to her."

_**~42 weeks~** _

"That's it. I'm going to be pregnant forever! I know it!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ty to Barburella and jadedandboring. Idk how they put up with me. Oh, also. LittleMissInnocence made me a wonderful banner. It's in my profile. Take a look. You guys spoil me so hard.
> 
> Thanks to all of you for sharing your names and name stories. I love it. Fair is fair. If I were to have daughters right now, they would be Jaina Guess and Kassandra Morgaine. All are characters in books I enjoy. As far as boys names? I've never known. If I had a boy right now? Dashiel Samuel. Hehhe. Dashiel is growing on me.
> 
> So... birth stories? The good. The bad. The ugly. The amazing. Lay em on me. Please.


	25. Welcome to the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Good news. Early chapter. Bad news. I didn't do my review replies. AND I hit 3000 reviews. I'm a bastard. I love and appreciate each and every single one. I've just been a writing machine as of late. *sigh* I'm sorry. Ily.
> 
> Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer I am not. I'm just playing with these kids for fun.

_**  
~9 P.M. November 16th~** _

Edward was trying his damndest not to show his total and utter frustration with the woman who sat across the table from him. She was in pain and uncomfortable. She got frustrated to the point of tears several times a day just dealing with her hugely pregnant body. Still, at her last appointment, Bella had refused to let the doctor induce her. To her logic, many first pregnancies went over the traditional 40 weeks. She wanted nature to take its course as much as possible. She was as stubborn as their daughter.

Everyone had a different remedy, and Bella had dutifully tried everything to jump start her labor from castor oil to eating spicy foods and everything in between. Jacob had even brought over a picture of something called the Fiji Mermaid. He said that P.T. Barnum had shown the hideously ugly looking thing in his freakshow, and pregnant women were warned not to view lest they go into early labor. Bella had looked at him like he was an idiot, crossing her arms and commenting dryly that she wasn't one of those suckers who was born every minute.

Blowing out a long breath of air, Edward made himself calm down so he could smile at her. "I know this is hard on you, Bella."

She rubbed her forehead, her skin pinching between her eyebrows as she breathed deeply. She wiped away a tear that escaped anyway. "I'm sorry. I hate being like this. I just... I want her out."

He stood and went to her, pulling her head gently until it was laying against his stomach. He stroked her hair. "Shh, don't apologize." She wrapped an arm around his waist, turning into his shirt while her shoulders shook lightly with silent tears. "It's okay," he soothed.

It took a minute, but Bella calmed again, straightening up and wiping her tear-stained cheeks. "I'm sorry." She sniffled and breathed in. "I'm a mess."

Edward said nothing, his heart aching for her. He couldn't stand to see her like this. He knelt by her side and bent his head until he was face to face with her belly, peaking out from under the shirt she wore. He cleared his throat. "Boo!" he said to his daughter.

Her stomach rocked as Bella chuckled. "Nice try." Her hand petted his hair tenderly.

"Boo, dammit!" he said with authority. Her laughter was music to his ears. He leaned forward and kissed the skin of her belly tenderly. "Come on, little girl. We can't wait to meet you." He put his ear against her, listening. Then sighed. "No such luck," he said, standing.

He bent again, hooking his arm under her legs where she had them propped up on another chair. Instantly, Bella's arms circled his neck as he lifted her. It was a testament to how tired she was that she didn't protest him carrying her around like a rag doll. "Bed?" he asked.

She nodded, laying her head on his shoulder as he carried her to her room. There wasn't a question any more of whether he would stay. Weeks before, he'd camped out on her couch only to have Bella come retrieve him, bringing him to her bed. Now he didn't question, he just got in with her, spooning her back against him so he could rub her shoulders.

"Bella," he said quietly, kissing her neck gently, "will you please consider letting the doctor induce you?"

She let out a long, slow sigh. "Fine. You win. If I have to choose between that and being pregnant until the end of time, I suppose it's the better option."

Relieved beyond belief, Edward kissed her neck again. "Thank you."

_**~2 A.M. November 17th~** _

Bella couldn't remember the last time she'd been able to sleep for a decent period of time. If she wasn't desperately uncomfortable, she was desperate to pee. Her feet were in a constant state of swollen. Everything ached. Her daughter's movements often caused her physical pain. _You and I are going to have a talk about violence soon_ , she thought wryly to her baby.

As she did every night, Bella tried to be as quiet as possible as she shifted and twisted and turned and got up throughout the night, trying to be considerate of Edward, sleeping peacefully beside her.

But, at two in the morning, Bella was angry at his ability to sleep like the dead. She shoved him out of irritation. It was his baby, too, and if she was forced to be awake, dammit, so should he be.

"Wha…" Edward came awake in surprise. His bleary eyes focused on her. Then he shot up straight instantly awake. "Is it time? Are you okay?"

Despite herself Bella smirked at his panicked expression. "No," she said ruefully, answering both questions. She sat up against the headboard and cradled her belly. She sighed. "I can't sleep. Everything hurts. There is no such thing as a comfortable position."

Relaxing somewhat, Edward sat against the headboard next to her. "Honey, I wish I knew how to help. We've tried everything at this point except sex."

Her eyebrows furrowed, and she cocked her head toward him. "What do you mean sex?"

Edward ran a hand through his hair, looking inexplicably nervous, like a school boy talking to the girl he was crushing on. "It's probably just another old wives tale, but ... well, some people say that late term sex can help," he started, but cut himself off shaking his head. "It's a ridiculous theory, Bella. Forget I said anything."

Bella was silent, considering this. It made a weird sort of sense to her sleepy brain. Activity in that region should beget activity, shouldn't it?

Besides all that, more than once since she and Edward had slowly been working their way back toward each other, she'd had to stop herself from suggesting sex. She'd been conflicted, vacillating between being so horny she felt like humping the leg of the couch and feeling so undesirable, the thought of even the doctor seeing her naked made her feel ill. On top of that, the topic of sex and their fragile relationship felt taboo. Sex had complicated so much for them in the first place.

But…

She ached to have her baby in her arms, and sex was legions better than some of the options she'd already tried to bring on labor. Not to mention, an orgasm sounded fabulous.

"We could try it," she said timidly. When he looked over at her, she felt a furious blush light on her cheeks. "I'd try anything. I'm desperate at this point."

His smile was crooked. "Gee, thanks."

Bella smacked his arm lightly. "I'm serious. And..." she steeled herself, scared to admit this even though the past few weeks had been filled with tender touches and frequent kisses. "Edward, I want you. I mean, if you don't want to have sex with a whale, I'll understand-"

He shifted on the bed, his hand gripping her chin lightly. His eyes were softly furious as he stared her down. "Isabella Marie Swan. If I have to explain to you one more time how beautiful you are to me..."

Bella swallowed hard, her want for him growing. "You'll what?"

He smiled, leaning in and kissing her lips with the lightest of touches. "I will always want you," he whispered, his kisses becoming harder and more insistent.

She kissed him back, her hands starting at his shoulders before trailing up and down his back. She'd missed this so much – the intimacy, and his hands everywhere on her body.

He cupped her face. "Are you sure this is okay?" he asked, worry tingeing the lust in his eyes.

"I'm ungainly, but I think…" she trailed off, climbing awkwardly to her knees and turning around so she could lean against the headboard. She grabbed all the pillows her hands could touch, shoving them under her to support her body. Looking over her shoulder, Bella grinned at him. "Like this."

He just looked at her for a moment, his eyes traveling her body. Bella felt self conscious for all of a second before he was over her, his hands circling around to her front while he pressed kisses to her ear. "You are so incredibly sexy. Do you know that?"

She said nothing, just reveled in the way his hands, pushing her gown up, felt sweeping along her skin. But when his fingers found her center she moaned. "I love you," she said fervently.

He kissed up her back to her neck. "I love you, too."

Then Bella gasped, jerking away from him as she cried out in surprise and pain. "Oh, shit."

"Are you all right? Did I-"

"You didn't do anything. I think that was a contraction," Bella said, dazed.

"Like...a real one this time?" Edward asked cautiously.

She looked at him, her eyes expressing the millions of emotions that went through her. Terror, hope, awe, and joy all at once. "I think the baby's coming."

_**~3:42 A.M.~** _

"Edward," Bella protested for the billionth time, "first time labor usually takes forever. I don't want- Aghh!" She doubled over, one arm wrapped around her belly.

Edward was over to her in a heartbeat, his hand on her back. "Bella?"

"I'm fine," she hissed through clenched teeth. "This is what's supposed to happen, remember?" She breathed a little easier as the pain lessened. "I don't want to go to the hospital yet."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Edward breathed in deeply, trying to understand where she was coming from. Logically, he knew Bella was right. She would probably be in labor for a long time. However, a lifetime full of television specials and movies where things went wrong or babies were born on the side of the road terrified him. Couple that with the trouble Bella had earlier in her pregnancy, and what had happened with Alice and Dash, and Edward was going out of his mind with worry.

His helplessness was getting the better of him. After they called her mother so she could get on the first plane out of Jacksonville, and he helped Bella into the bath to ease her tense muscles, there was nothing left for him to do. Bella refused to let him call anyone else, saying it was way too early to wake them up, and she refused to let him drive her to the hospital, no matter how much she pleaded. If he thought it would go well, he would have gathered her up in his arms and carried her out of the house, protests be damned.

Instead, he sighed and tried, again, to reason with her. "I know you hate the hospital, but please? Wouldn't you feel better knowing that if anything even started to go wrong, there are doctors and nurses everywhere?"

Bella groaned, hiding her face behind her hands. "That's easy for you to say. They're not going to have their fingers all up in you all day."

"I will let them give me a rectal exam if you let me take you to the hospital. Now."

Grinning, Bella peeked out from behind her hands. "You don't play fair, Cullen." She sighed and groaned again. "Fine. You win. Again."

**~6:57 A.M.~**

"Walk, he said. That doctor is a pain in the ass. He knows I hate him. That's why he's making me do this," Bella muttered darkly. She was leaning on Edward as they walked the hospital hallways at her doctor's suggestion. Edward said nothing, just offered his support while she vented about the bastard doctor. "Well, he can stick it- fuuuuucccckkkk," she hissed, coming to a sudden stop. Her hand dug into his arm painfully, but Edward was sure to keep any discomfort off his face.

"Breathe through it, baby," Edward encouraged, his heart twisting like it did every time a contraction hit her. Why oh why couldn't she be one of those women who gave birth in fifteen minutes? With practically no pain?

"Talk to me," she begged him, stooped against the pain. "Please. Anything. Just distract me."

"Umm, umm... Well. You know those Deluxe Maternity Suites they have here that you made me swear not to reserve?" he blurted. He winced as Bella's hand squeezed again. It probably wasn't a wise thing to piss her off, but she was going to find out sooner or later.

"Oh, Edward," she groaned, her voice still more pained than angry. "You didn't."

"'Fraid so," he admitted.

Cedars Sinai offered several postpartum suites for an exorbitant amount of money. They were two to three room suites that offered accommodations for mother and partner and then some. There was a refrigerator, a flatscreen TV, and "deluxe" meals for Mom, as well as a celebratory meal for Mom and partner on one night of their stay. When they had pre-registered for delivery at the hospital, Edward wanted to reserve one of the suites. Bella put her foot down saying that the suites cost more per night than many people paid per month for an apartment.

"You are ridiculous," Bella seethed, standing up a little straighter. "How could you-"

"Whoa, whoa. What's going on here?"

The arguing couple turned to find Jasper staring at them, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Bella is upset that I reserved a Deluxe Maternity Suite for her," Edward explained.

"It's pretentious. And ostentatious. And more words that end with -ous," Bella grumbled. "And what are you doing here? I didn't call you." She glared at Edward again.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Bella, are you seriously chewing Edward out because he called your best friend and he got you a huge, comfortable suite to recover in, that only vaguely resembles a hospital?"

Bella stared at him for about three seconds before her face crumpled, and she started crying. Jasper's face fell and he rushed forward to gather her in his arms. "Oh, Bella. I'm sorry. You're right. Edward is a horrible, horrible person." He made an apologetic face at Edward over her head, but Edward just waved, assuring him that he didn't take the other man's words seriously.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so tired. I'm glad you're here," Bella said, the words muffled because she was clinging to Jasper's shirt. Then her hand shot out and she reached for Edward. He let her tug him away from the wall and wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you for calling Jasper. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"Bella," he said softly, tilting her chin up so that she could look at him, "you yell at me all you want." He leaned in and kissed her nose. "Today only. Free pass. Plus, I fully intend on doing many more bastard-type things of this nature in the future."

This earned him a genuine smile, and she hugged him again. "You should tell me now who else you called. My mood has swung to sleepy euphoria."

"Oh, sweetheart," he chuckled. "I called everyone."

She groaned. "You bastard."

_**~3:03 P.M.~** _

Panting, Bella sat back against the not-nearly-fluffy enough hospital pillows.

"They're getting stronger," Edward murmured, tucking a sweaty strand of hair back behind her ear.

She opened her eyes, giving him a disparaging look. "No shit, Sherlock," she bit out, a little moody. She relaxed, turning her head slightly so her cheek nuzzled his palm. "Shouldn't I be screaming at you right now? You did this to me."

Edward chuckled. "You could. I didn't though," he pointed out mildly.

Tired as she was, Bella's lips quirked as she fought a smile. "That's true. I have no one to blame but myself."

He tightened his arms around her, holding her close. "You're incredible, you know that?" he asked quietly.

"I am incredibly exhausted is what I am," Bella said dryly. Exhausted was an understatement for how she felt. All and all, though, she couldn't complain. Being tired and in pain was nothing less than what she'd expected. Though it was hard to be thankful in the middle of a contraction, she knew that it could have been a lot worse.

Edward hadn't left her side in all the time they were at the hospital. He didn't lose his patience or complain when she squeezed his hand too tightly. He hadn't said a single word about food or sleep or taking a break.

Besides Edward, there had been a constant stream of friendly faces visiting her, and she knew the majority of them were spending a lot of time in the waiting room. Her father had been in and out all day. Tanya had even brought the twins around to cheer her up. They'd been fascinated by all the equipment and confused that the baby wasn't there yet.

"Bella?" a new voice inquired from the doorway.

"Mom!" Bella's face lit up as her mother came flying toward her.

"Oh, baby," her mother said, kissing her hair and her cheeks. "Look at you. My god! You're huge! Why on earth did you let yourself go to 42 weeks? After what you put me through giving birth to you, you know she's going to be a big little girl."

Despite the flicker of irritation that passed through her, Bella couldn't help but laugh. She'd wanted her mother so many times over the course of her pregnancy. Not that Renee was very maternal, as she was proving just then, but she had been right where Bella was now. "You're not helping, Mom," she admonished, still holding on to her mother.

Renee stood, putting her hands on her cheeks. "I'm sorry. What a thoughtless thing to say. I wasn't thinking."

Bella just shook her head. "Where's Phil?"

"He's getting acquainted with the legion of people out in the waiting room. My goodness, Bella. Is that the baby's father's family?"

Edward cleared his throat and Renee's head shot up. Obviously she hadn't even noticed he was there. "Oh! You must be Edward." Her eyes raked him up and down. "Good lord. This baby is going to be gorgeous," she blurted, and then turned as red as Bella so often had in Edward's presence.

_**~ 9:50 P.M. ~** _

"For the love of God," Edward exclaimed to the doctor. "Will you  _please_ give her something for the pain?"

Edward was stressed. Bella's contractions had been getting stronger while she had been noticeably weakening for hours now. They had an unspoken deal. She tried not to scream while he tried not to cry at how much pain she was in.

On Bella's other side, Jasper nodded vigorously in agreement, patting her hand consolingly as she panted.

The doctor agreed. Edward wasn't sure if it was because Bella was truly ready for the epidural or because he didn't want to get his ass kicked.

"Holy crow!" Bella exclaimed, just surprised to be without pain for once that day. She slumped against the pillows. "That is... heaven in a syringe." She tugged on Edward's arm. "I'm leaving you for the anesthesiologist."

"She's cuter," Edward said gravely. He had to fight the smile that she'd referred to them as a couple.

Bella smiled and then yawned. "God, I'm so tired."

"Nap if you can, sweetie," the nurse encouraged sweetly. "The big show is coming up soon."

All for Bella getting a little sleep, Edward began to stroke her hair and the side of her cheek. It didn't take long before her eyes were drooping. "Don't fight it, Bella."

"Edward?" Her voice was so soft and mumbled that Edward only barely heard her.

"Yes, sweetheart?" he asked quietly, bending down so his ear was near her lips.

"I love you," she said on a sigh, as she fell into an exhausted sleep.

Smiling, Edward straightened up, still stroking her cheek gently. "I love you too," he whispered, though she couldn't hear. "So much."

"I don't know how she's doing this," Jasper murmured after a moment, wiping his hand over his eyes. "Man, there's a reason why women carry the babies. They're stronger than I could ever be. And Bella's stronger than anyone I've ever known."

Not taking his eyes off Bella, Edward chuffed lightly and smiled, totally in awe of the sleeping woman in front of him. "Can't argue with that."

"How are you holding up?" Jasper asked.

Edward finally looked up at him. With Bella looking, for once, peaceful, he allowed himself to take a personal inventory. "Tired. Scared," he admitted. If he was being honest, he was as nervous as an elephant on ball bearings.

"She's doing great, Edward. Everything's going to be fine," Jasper assured him, reaching over the bed to pat him on the arm. "Why don't you take a walk or get something to eat? I'll call you if she wakes up."

Edward opened his mouth to protest, but yawned instead. He considered Jasper's request. It would be good to stretch, and he really did want to see his parents. He was trying to be strong for Bella, but he was a lot more frazzled than he was letting on. "You'll call me the second she wakes up? Even if she tells you not to?" he verified.

Jasper laughed lightly. "Scouts honor," he said, holding up two fingers. "Why don't you send Renee in here?"

Caressing Bella's cheek one last time, Edward stood from his chair and ambled out of the room.

In the waiting room, Edward was surprised to find most of his family. Alice and Tanya were home with the kids, but everyone else was there in addition to Renee, Phil, Charlie, Jacob and Lizzie. Peter, Edward knew, had gone home because he had an early shift the next morning.

Rosalie stood and crossed to meet him. She put both her hands on his shoulders, looking directly in his eyes. "Bella and the baby are going to be fine," she said firmly.

And for the first time that day, Edward's shoulders slumped. It was exactly what he needed to hear, and Rosalie must have known that. Edward knew his own overactive mind was his worst enemy. No one could silence his needless worries the way his twin could. He wrapped his arms around her waist hugging her. "Thanks," he whispered in her ear.

With that he turned to face the waiting eyes. "They finally gave her an epidural. She's napping," he explained, taking the vacant seat next to Emmett.

Esme clucked her tongue. "Poor girl."

"Dude," Emmett nudged him, "the epidural goes in her spine, right?"

Edward shuddered, feeling the blood drain from his face. "You should have seen the size of the needle." He shook his head. "I couldn't do this shit, man."

"Uch. I hate needles," Lizzie said. She smacked Jacob on the arm. "I don't care. We're finding a way to knock you up."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Fuck that."

Shaking his head, Edward looked to Renee who was sitting between Phil and Charlie. "Jasper said you should come chat."

"Good idea," Renee said, getting to her feet. "You know, Charlie fainted dead away when he saw the epidural needle," she said cheerfully, turning and disappearing down the hallway.

"Hey that's not... why do you spread such lies, woman?" Charlie called after her. He looked at Phil and Carlisle, "I didn't faint," he said gruffly. "I might have teetered a little, but I didn't faint."

Still chuckling, Carlisle turned to Edward. "If you need to eat or drink something, now's the time to do it. Just don't let Bella know you did." He glanced at his wife, smiling ruefully. "Trust me, you will regret it."

"I don't think I could eat right now," Edward said, absently rubbing his arm.

Emmett grabbed his hand and held it out, pushing up his shirt sleeve. "Whoa. What'd you do to deserve a beating, Bro?" he laughed, looking at the light, finger shaped bruised along Edward's arm.

"Nothing. Incidentally, Bella has a hell of a grip when she's in incredible amounts of pain. Why do you all think I'm going to do something stupid?" Edward groused, yanking his arm back. "I have Tweedle Dumb for a father and Tweedle Dumber for a brother. I learn from your mistakes."

"Ouch," said Carlisle, but he was laughing.

"Accurate," Esme pointed out.

"Seriously though," Rosalie said softly. "You look beat. As in tired."

"I'm surprised I'm not delirious," Edward admitted, rubbing his eyes.

Rosalie proffered her shoulder. "Catnap?"

At first, Edward was inclined to stay no. He was still on edge, his body waiting to spring into action when Bella needed him. He was still half fearful there would be a scene like in the movies where you see doctors and nurses run by yelling things that were beyond frightening.

He laid his head on Rosalie's shoulder and felt soothed. "I'm just going to close my eyes for a minute..."

_**~11:50 PM~** _

"Edward,  _wake up_!"

Someone was shaking him. Edward snapped awake, all his conscious thoughts coming to him at once. Bella. Baby. "What's happening?" he asked, his eyes focusing in on Jasper's face. A quick, frantic glance around showed him that almost everyone was on their feet.

"Baby's coming. Now."

"What?" Edward was on his feet and sprinting toward the labor and delivery room with Jasper right on his heels. "What the hell time is it? She was barely at 5 centimeters a minute ago."

Jasper shook his head. "It's weird. She started progressing really quickly all of a sudden. You've been out for almost two hours."

Edward stopped short. "Say that again? No, don't," he continued moving. "Why didn't you come get me?"

"She told me not to."

" _And you listened_?" he roared. Shaking his head, Edward ran into the room.

Bella was awake, of course, and now there was a flurry of people in the room. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail and further held back in a headband. If looks could kill, there would have been roast fillet of Edward, extra crispy, on the floor the minute he walked in. "Where the hell have you been?"

He went to her side, putting on his contrite face and doing his best not to petulantly blame Jasper. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm here now."

"You're an idiot," Bella snapped.

Edward frowned, remembering his earlier words. He guessed there was no escaping it.

It didn't matter, because in the next second the doctor was telling her it was time to push. With Edward on one side of her, Jasper on the other and her mother helping hold her legs back, Bella pushed.

There was the doctor's voice directing, Jasper, Renee and Edward encouraging, and Bella whimpering with effort. And then, just as the clock's arms stretched into a new day, there was the most beautiful cry Edward thought he'd ever heard: his newborn daughter, screaming in indignation that she'd been forced out into the bright light and cold air of the real world.

The instant she was free, the doctor placed the baby on Bella's chest. She was slimy and gross and unbearably exquisite, with a full head of dark hair matted to her head and chubby little cheeks. She was big for having passed through someone as little as Bella, but tiny set against the world she'd been brought into. And she owned him. Instantaneously and completely, that tiny creature owned him to the ends of the earth and the depths of his soul. The love that shook him then was so powerful that Edward inhaled sharply, his eyes pricking with tears as he stared at his little girl.

Bella was breathing in little gasps, giggling and sniffling as she patted the baby tentatively. "Hi," she said breathlessly. "Hi, baby girl." Bella looked up at Edward, her face the picture of tear-streaked awe. "She's so beautiful."

"She is," he agreed, leaning in to kiss Bella soundly. He leaned his forehead against hers, picking up his daughter's hand and counting her tiny fingers.

A nurse picked up the baby then. Edward tuned out Renee's babbling and whatever Jasper was saying as the doctor offered him a pair of surgical scissors. "Want to cut the cord?" he asked.

Edward was surprised at how his hand was shaking as he accepted the scissors, but he cut the cord. The baby was whisked a short distance away and handed back a few minutes later, quite a bit cleaner and wrapped tightly in a light green blanket. This time the doctor placed her in his arms, and Edward could swear that his heart stopped for two beats.

A profound joy he'd never known bubbled up, coming out as a laugh as he held his little girl for the first time. As if magnetized, Edward bent closer to Bella, their heads bumping lightly as they both gazed at their daughter. The baby yawned, seemingly underwhelmed now that all the pushing and pulling was over.

"What are you thinking?" Bella asked him.

What wasn't he thinking? "That … I was stupid for ever doubting this," he murmured. "I love her. Bella... I love her."

A breathtaking smile spread over Bella's face and she giggled again - a euphorically happy sound. They kissed one more time.

"And what's this beautiful girl's name?" Renee asked, breaking into the bubble that had surrounded the little family for a few precious minutes.

Bella looked at Edward questioningly and a silent conversation passed between them. He could see they were in agreement. Of all the names they had played with, one seemed to belong to this tiny perfect creature the way no other did.

**~0~**

_Arianna Leigh Cullen_

_B: 11/18/2011 at 12:01 AM_

_Weight: 8 pounds 9 ounces_

_Length: 20 inches_

**~0~**

**  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wow. What a journey, but the baby is here with us now. Named by my beautiful Josieswan before she disappeared from the internet. I misses her. Thank you so much again to Ginny W, Twitina, and TwilightMundi for letting me harass them with labor questions. Thank you to jadedandboring for betaing and barburella for prereading and all of you for being so good to me.
> 
> One more chapter. Then the epilogue. Wow. We're almost done.
> 
> Oh, I forgot to mention. The Jukebox contest is open for voting. I have a o/s in there. Have a looksee, ifn it pleases you. Some great stories in there.


	26. Parenthetical Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sigh. You guys disappoint me in your lack-of-geekyness. Not a lot of you got the significance of Arianna's birth date. What is the majority of the fandom going to be doing on 11/18/2011 at 12:01?
> 
> Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer I am not. Idk if you noticed.

"Bells, this is a pretty epic set up you got in here. This is bigger than my house in La Push..."

"Please, Jacob," Edward hissed, groaning. "Believe it or not, the room is not actually a selling point for Bella."

Jake rolled his eyes. "Of course not." He shook his head, returning to exploring the two room suite. He was especially enamored of the refrigerator, fully stocked with juice and water bottles. Lizzie had already pointed out to him that these items were just as easily located in the cafeteria, but Jacob insisted there was a difference.

But Bella wasn't thinking about the enormous and unnecessary expense of the suite. Her eyes were watchful, following Arianna as the baby was passed from one set of arms to the next. She bit her lip, wanting to tell her mother to be careful. Renee had the concentration of the goldfish, and Bella could only imagine how easily she could drop Ari. She'd cautioned her mother the first time she held the baby, and Renee had rolled her eyes. " _Really, Bella, I have done this before you know."_ She was only slightly more relieved when Renee handed the baby to Charlie.

A chuckle drew Bella's eyes away from her child. Esme had come to stand beside her, a knowing look in her eyes. "You're worried we're going to drop her, aren't you?" Esme said, soft enough so only Bella and Edward could hear. Bella glanced at Edward, realizing that his arms were crossed tightly, as if he was restraining himself. She realized that he was feeling overprotective too.

"She's just so fragile," Bella admitted fretfully. "Anything can hurt her."

Esme took Edward's hand, and patted Bella's arm comfortingly with her free hand. "Your children create something inside of you that never fades," she said quietly. "I would tell you it gets easier – the worry – and I suppose some parts do. But no matter what you're doing, from here until forever, there's always some part of you that's going to be thinking of her."

Bella smiled tightly, and Edward wrapped his arms around his mother, squeezing.

"You've had your turn," Carlisle's voice made Bella look back to the baby. Her father held Ari tightly, making a face at Carlisle who was holding his arms out expectantly. Bella had to laugh because Carlisle had been more than patient. The night before, he'd let Esme and Rosalie be the first Cullens – other than Edward, of course - to hold Ari for the few minutes the extended family had before they were shooed away to let Edward and Bella bond with their daughter… and try to sleep after the exhausting day they'd had.

"Dad," she called, a warning tone in her voice. "Let Carlisle hold her."

"But he's got three other grandchildren to hold. This one is mine," Charlie protested.

"Dad!"

"Fine, fine," Charlie grumbled, grudgingly and carefully placing Ari in her other grandfather's arms.

Again, Bella watched as Carlisle cuddled the little girl close to his chest. He fingered the fine, plentiful, chestnut colored strands of hair on her head. "Her hair is the same color as Bella's," he noted.

"And mine," Charlie added pointedly.

Carlisle snorted softly. "It sticks up just like Edward's though."

"Your hair was thick like that when you were born," Renee contributed, looking at Bella. "Except it was curly." She reached over Carlisle, tracing a finger over the baby's peacefully sleeping face. "She definitely doesn't have your ears, baby."

"Thank God," Bella scoffed.

"What? I loved your ears." Renee looked over at Esme, putting her fingers up by her head. "Here was this little baby with these huge ears. I loved them. She didn't grow into her ears until she was a teenager."

Bella grimaced, self-consciously reaching up to stroke one ear. Occasionally, her ears still bothered her. Edward caught her hand in his, squeezing as he nuzzled the side of her head. "Your ears are perfect," he murmured quietly. "And Ari is perfect."

Smiling, Bella leaned into him, sighing at his easy, tender touch. "If my ears are perfect, and Ari doesn't have my ears, you're lying about one of us. Logically," she teased him.

He scrunched his nose and kissed her cheek. "You're both perfect. I'm the daddy and I say so. That's the only logic you need." She could see he tried to fight it, but a ridiculous and radiant grin spread across his face anyway. It made her heart grow and warm in her chest, seeing the utter joy and satisfaction written on his face when anyone called him Daddy.

Later that afternoon, Charlie, Renee, Carlisle, Esme, Jake and Lizzie had been replaced by Jasper, Peter, Rose, Alice, Emmett, Tanya and the twins. Part of Bella was glad, given how much family her daughter had, that Edward had reserved the suite. She wasn't going to tell him that, though. It would only encourage more grandiose gestures in the future.

"This basket is epic," Emmett commented, picking through the remains of the fruit and muffin basket the hospital had provided that morning.

"You're worse than Jacob," Bella muttered, shaking her head. She was somewhat distracted, watching from one of the suite's many comfortable chairs as Edward sat between the twins with Ari in his arms.

Katrina and Irina, as they had been instructed, were sitting patiently, waiting for their uncle to settle. Their little bodies were practically vibrating with barely contained energy. Finally, they both leaned over, oooing and awing over the little bundle.

"She's a lil bit scrunchy," Katrina commented, patting Ari's mitten-laden hand.

"She's brand new," Edward explained patiently. "Remember you saw Bella for a few minutes yesterday and the baby wasn't here yet? Well, being born makes you scrunchy." His lips quirked at the word. "She'll smooth out."

"Unca," Irina tugged on his arm. Edward leaned down slightly so she could whisper, in that little kid way that was loud enough for everyone to hear, "I think she's more prettier than Dash."

"Hey. I heard that," Rosalie said, but she was smiling.

Alice sidled over to Bella's side. "You make a beautiful baby, Bella," she said. "How are you doing? Honestly."

"Compared to what you went through?" Bella glanced at her friend and shook her head slightly. "I feel like I shouldn't complain at all."

"But," Alice prompted.

"I'm tired, sore, and I've never been so aware of my tits," she admitted. "I like how close I feel to Ari when I'm feeding her, but damn. It's weird being a buffet."

Alice chuckled. "I know what you mean. Oh, and you know what's a great phenomenon I discovered today? Earlier, when she cried, my boobs started leaking." She rolled her eyes.

"Ha," Tanya contributed. "Try having two of 'em at your breasts at the same time," she shook her head ruefully. Irina got her attention then, squirming and saying she needed to pee. Tanya stood, taking her daughter's hand. "Motherhood is so glamorous isn't it?" she said as she walked off.

"So far," Bella answered, laughing lightly with Alice as they watched Tanya gather up Katrina for a trip to the potty. "Edward has been wonderful though," she said softly, watching as Edward carefully placed his daughter in Peter's arms. "He even chased his parents out earlier so I could nap."

"He's a good man," the other woman agreed.

Bella breathed deeply, her heart so full it was almost painful. "I've never loved anyone like this, Alice. I never knew it was possible to love someone this much. It's... terrifying."

Putting her arm around Bella, Alice hugged her tightly. "Are you talking about Arianna or Edward?"

Bella had to laugh. "Both," she admitted.

A few minutes later, Bella was on the couch, cuddled up against Jasper's side as they watched Emmett make a complete fool out of himself, cooing at his niece. So far, he was the only one that had spoken to the baby in that high pitched baby-speak so many were fond of. Bella was glad of that because she if she had to hear baby-speak for months and years on end, she was going to have to cut a bitch.

"Emmett," she called, "you do realize her name is Arianna, right?" So far, Emmett had not called the baby by her name or the nickname everyone else was using - Ari.

"Pfft, what fun is that," Emmett said, grinning at her with deep dimples. "I've got to set myself apart. I don't know if you noticed, but Nanananana has a lot of uncles. I fully intend on being her favorite." He looked to his wife. "You know what, babe? I still think we should have another baby. Even if it's a girl."

Rolling her eyes, Bella just yawned and laid her head on Jasper's chest, listening to the rumble as he chuckled. He stroked her hair idly, making Bella drowsy. "Peter really wants a baby," he murmured, almost to himself.

"Hmmm," Bella mumbled sleepily. She grimaced slightly. "I told you I'd be your surrogate, and I meant it. Just... you know, give me some time to recover and all." She didn't relish the thought of being pregnant again, but a promise was a promise. Just because it hadn't worked out the way they planned didn't mean that she was going to welch on her side of the bargain.

Her head shook as Jasper chuckled again. "Bella, I told you. It's not even remotely the same thing. I was just talking out loud. Besides, things have changed for you, haven't they?"

"Mmm," Bella assented, realizing she would want to get Edward's opinion before she offered up her eggs and/or her body for surrogacy. So much had changed in so few short months.

"Don't worry about it," Jasper said firmly. "I just might ask to borrow Ari for a test run later."

Bella smacked him lightly, her eyelids drooping heavily. "My baby is not a car."

Again Jasper chuckled, and Bella let the rumbling sound lull her into sleep.

A while later she was aware that she was moving. She blinked, finding Edward had swept her up in his arms. She groaned, not wanting to be carried like a child in front of everyone.

"Shhh," Edward said. "Everyone is gone." He laid her on the bed, stroking her cheek gently. "Just go back to sleep."

And Bella would have, if Arianna hadn't let out a sharp cry right then. Bella sat up, opening her arms as Edward handed her the baby. Soon Arianna was nestled against her skin, sucking away contentedly. Bella smiled down at her daughter, stroking the petal soft hairs on her head.

"Is it weird to wish I could do that?" Edward asked, sitting in the chair by her bedside.

Bella smiled at him. "Maybe a little. But when we get home, and I can pump, you'll be able to feed her too."

They were both silent for a moment before Bella's eyes caught a stack of papers on the nightstand. "What is that?" she pointed with her free hand.

"Oh, um." Edward picked it up, holding it for her. "They're notes. Rosalie wanted to ask you, but she kept getting nervous about it... She wants your help writing a script. Her and Alice's story." He smiled, knowing the next part would please Bella to no end. "One of the other networks approached her to make their story into a TV movie."

"But Aro's been after her to do that since she came out and she's refused," Bella said, furrowing her brow.

Edward nodded. "Exactly. She refused  _Aro_. But she also said she'd only take the deal if she approved of the screenwriter," he said slowly. "Bella, she wants you to do it."

Bella blinked sporadically, sure that he must be mistaken or joking. But no. He was serious.

"Don't answer now. We have the paperwork and her notes. You can look it over anytime and talk to her. If you want."

"Wow," Bella said after a moment. "I knew my life would change completely when I got pregnant. I just never could have imagined how."

Smiling, Edward laid his head carefully on her legs, reaching out to run a finger along his daughter's chubby arm. "I know what you mean."

**~0~**

Bella's house had never been as full of people as it was when they brought Arianna home from the hospital. The house, she discovered, had been cleaned and the refrigerator well stocked in her absence. There was also a colorful banner welcoming Arianna home and balloons everywhere. Arianna was underwhelmed. She enjoyed the pacifier the hospital had given her.

Everyone fussed and fawned. Both Edward and Bella's parents offered to stay, or to check up on them... however they could help their children. Edward and Bella both declined as politely as possible.

"You can't even swaddle the baby, Edward. Why can you never admit when you need help?" Esme protested, shaking her head.

"Edward can swaddle the baby, Mom. It's not rocket science," Emmett rolled his eyes. He turned to his little brother. "You can do this, man. It's like making a burrito... except with baby instead of meat and guacamole filling."

"Oh, my God," Bella muttered, pushing her way between the brothers. "Give me my child before she gets eaten. Or suffocated."

"I can do it!" Edward insisted. He looked down at his daughter where she was on the couch, her little legs squirming in the air. Furrowing his brow, he folded the blanket around her. With a smug grin he picked her up, cradling her proudly. "There. See? No..." The blankets shrugged down off Ari's shoulders, falling into a puddle that hung off his arm. "Problem."

"Suppose you've gotta be bad at something," Emmett muttered. He pushed Edward aside, quickly and efficiently folding the blanket so that Arianna was snug as a bug. He picked up his niece, grinning at her. "See, Ia? Uncle Em's got you covered." His lips twitched. "Literally."

But when everyone had finally gone home and Ari was sleeping peacefully in her crib, a heavy silence stretched on between them. Bella wanted, desperately, to ask him to stay, but she didn't know how. She couldn't assume that just because they'd spent nearly every waking hour of the last four weeks together that he wanted to be there.

She could make the easy argument. They had a newborn baby who required constant attention. That burden was difficult enough shared between two people. He would stay if she asked him.

But she didn't want to play games. Bella wanted to be able to admit that she wanted him there - not just to help with the baby, but because she wanted  _him_. And dammit, she had never been a coward.

"Will you stay?" she asked quietly. "You don't... please don't feel obligated. I know what we planned but... I would really like you stay. With me. With us." She wasn't looking at him.

Edward was quiet for many long moments, but then she felt his gentle fingers under her chin. She let him tilt her face up, and when she let her eyes meet his, all she could see was the sincere, deep love he had for her. She took in a shuddering breath, lost for a moment in the moment and all the tenderness she felt for him - her baby's father, the love of her life.

"Bella," he said, so softly it was a whisper, "the thought of leaving my precious girls is abhorrent to me. I can't even tell you how much it hurts me to even think about it. I love my daughter." His thumb brushed her lips, his eyes open and entirely vulnerable. "And I love you."

He kissed her then, softly, reverently. "Stay," Bella said against his lips, kissing him back with the same reverence.

And he did.

**~Four Weeks Later~**

It had been an eventful few weeks. Edward and Bella were tripping and stumbling their way through parenthood, but they were doing it together, which, if you asked Edward, was what counted.

"Arianna," he sing-songed. He was kneeling by the side of the bed while Bella sat on the bed, changing the baby's diaper. His daughter turned her head toward him, rewarding him with a toothless smile. He laughed silently. This had been his favorite game since her little grin had started appearing a couple days before. She responded to his voice more than anyone's. "Nope. Never going to get tired of that."

Bella gave him a soft look from under her eyelashes, and Edward took the moment to stare at her. She had all her hair swept over one shoulder as she got Arianna into a fresh change of clothes. There were bags under her eyes, and her shirt was stained with spit up, but she was beautiful. He was glad that his little girl looked so much like her. Same lips. Same color hair. Same facial structure. His family was gorgeous. And his. And he wasn't intending to let them go ever.

He informed Bella of this in no uncertain terms as he climbed on the bed, leaning over her as she laid back. He kissed her slowly, not rushing because he didn't have to, and he didn't want to. He kept himself propped up on one arm while he rested his freehand on his daughter's chest, making sure she didn't wriggle and roll off the bed. Bella's hands came up, cupping and stroking his face as she sighed against his mouth.

Their lips parted, and Bella looked at him contemplatively, stroking the hair on the back of his neck. "You're kind of useful," she said finally. "I suppose I'll keep you. For now."

Smirking, Edward would have snarked back at her, except that Arianna had wrapped both of her hands around his finger. Her tiny mouth was open, and she appeared hilariously perplexed.

Bella chortled and the look on the baby's face. Edward took the moment to lay down beside her, resting his head on her shoulder. "I guess I'll keep you both," Bella said quietly. She looked happy, and Edward was every lastingly grateful for second chances.

Or however many chances it had taken them to get their shit together.

**~8 weeks~**

"Ari, look. Daddy's got your toes. What are you going to do now?"

Edward delighted in the squealing giggles his daughter emitted as she kicked. Her fingers were in her mouth but that didn't stop her from laughing. Edward was convinced she was the prettiest baby that the world had ever seen.

"Man, you're a goner," Emmett laughed, watching his brother's antics with a shake of his head.

Making a face, Edward picked Ari up off the couch and held her against his chest as he reclined. "Shut up, Em. Like you're any better." He tickled the little girl under her chin, making her laugh again. "I don't know why Bella insisted on you coming over. It's not like I can't take care of my own daughter by myself." He shook his head.

Emmett scoffed. "It was a year before Tanya trusted me alone with the girls."

"Yeah," Edward remembered, "but that's you!"

It had taken Edward forever to convince Bella it was okay to go. She was getting back into the mindset of work, and the network that was producing Rosalie's story needed her to sign paperwork. She finally agreed to go after Emmett agreed to babysit with Edward.

"Don't worry, man. She's just being a mom." He reached over, putting his massive hands over Arianna's little ears. "Moms can be a little ridiculous," he whispered.

Edward was dozing lightly, his daughter fast asleep on his chest and held securely by his hand, when Bella came back. Immediately, she plucked Arianna off of him, settling the startled little girl into the crook of her arm as she checked her over. Ari whimpered, not amused at being woken up.

"She's fine," Edward insisted, mildly irritated when the baby went from completely peaceful to crying in no time flat.

"Oh, Edward, I'm sorry," Bella said sincerely, rocking Ari to get her to settle again. "I just couldn't stop thinking about her the whole time I was gone."

"Mom," Emmett whispered over her shoulder, and Edward calmed down again.

Luckily, they were able to get the baby to settle again fairly quickly. Bella conked out shortly after Arianna did, falling asleep on top of her bed.

"So," Emmett started when Edward came back to the living room, "when are you two going to give up the pretense that you're not moved in together?"

"We haven't moved in together." Emmett gave him a look. "What? We haven't. I still have a house full of stuff."

Emmett snickered. "Look around you, Edward. I see a lot of your stuff here."

Edward was silent as his eyes darted around the room, landing on the items that had migrated over here in the last few months. He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "It's not up to me, Emmett."

Thankfully, Emmett didn't push the issue. In fact, after another minute, he told Edward to join Bella for a nap. "I'll let myself out when this show is over," Emmett said. "And if Shananana wakes up, I'll get her."

"Em," Edward groaned, "you realize there are no sh-sounds in my daughter's name, right?"

Emmett just waved Edward away. Sleepy, Edward ambled toward Bella's bedroom, practically falling on the bed behind her. He loved the way her body reacted to his, scooting backward and threading her fingers with his when he put his arm around her. Completely content, Edward started to doze off.

He was awakened some time later by the sounds of his daughter's cry, coming from the monitor on the nightstand. Bella stirred, groaning, and began to get up. He clung to her, keeping her tight against him. "Don't go," he muttered into her hair.

Bella's answering voice wasn't all the way awake. "What do you mean don't go? If you're in here, and I'm in here, who's going to get the baby?"

There was a rustling sound, and then Emmett's voice came over the monitor. "Hey there, party animal."

"Emmett's still here?" Bella asked, her voice still just a rumble.

"Yep. And since you trust him more than you trust me with the baby, you should go back to sleep."

"Edward, I didn't-"

She cut off as she listened to Emmett. "Well, you're still dry. Why don't you try to go back to sleep? Would it help if Uncle Em sings you a lullaby?"

He started singing then, a song it took Edward a minute to recognize. "Hush, little girl, sweet, sweet baby don't cry tonight. Daddy is here and he'll sing you a soft lullaby tonight."

That wasn't good. He knew that song. It was a Stephen Lynch song, and not even remotely appropriate for a ten year old, let alone a baby.

With a groan, Edward got up, running out the door and to the nursery. Trying to rescue his daughter from Emmett's arms, he scowled at his big brother. "First of all, you are  _not_ her daddy. Secondly, you start singing to my child about ... all those things,  _you_ get to explain to her what they ... you know what, you're banned. Go away. If you want to play with a baby, get your own."

"I keep asking Tanya. Until then, go lay down. I'm taking care of my niece," Emmett argued, not letting the baby go.

Just then Arianna interrupted them both by letting out a fart that could have come from a five year old. The brothers stared at one another, and then they started cracking up.

Emmett held the baby at arm's length. "Oh, oh, watch this. You get to deal with stinky baby butt because, this time,  _you're_  daddy." He cackled as Edward took Ari over to the changing table. "Payback's a bitch, little brother."

Rolling his eyes, Edward turned back to his teary eyed daughter. "It's okay, sweetheart. Uncle Em is going away. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to let him take care of you. Sometimes Daddies make silly mistakes."

"I am going to take off, man," Emmett said, laughing and clapping Edward on the shoulder. "You got this." He stroked Ari's chin. "Bye, party animal. I'll see you soon. Don't forget who your favorite uncle is."

Ari grinned at him, clasping his finger in her hand.

Emmett left then, and when Arianna had a new diaper on, Edward put her back in her crib. She was obviously still sleepy, but fighting it. Happy that his brother left, Edward began humming softly. Then he started singing the song that had taken root in his head, watching as Arianna's eyelids grew heavier. "Now and then when I see her face, she takes me away to that special place. And if I'd stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry. Sweet child o' mine."

As he sang to her, the baby began to fall back to sleep. Edward had gotten a little too into the song when a peel of laughter made him stop short. He peeked in the crib, where Arianna was fast asleep, and then reluctantly looked at the doorway. Bella was leaning against the door jamb, a smile on her face and adoration in her eyes.

"What exactly are you doing?" Bella asked.

Seeing the look on her face, Edward couldn't be embarrassed. "Air guitar," he said plainly.

"Air guitar is an odd method for getting the baby to sleep." She took a step into the room as he took a step toward her. "You looked like you were conjuring a spell or having a seizure."

"Ha," he said, taking another step toward her. She was close enough then that he could wrap an arm around her waist and pull her all the way to him. He leaned in, resting his forehead on hers. Automatically, her head tilted up as if she was expecting his kiss. Edward smiled at the thought. "I have some bad news," he said gravely.

Her eyes opened and flicked up to his questioningly.

"I've found another woman."

Bella's lips twitched as she fought a smile. She put on a serious expression. "Oh?"

Edward nodded, wrapping his arms tighter around her so their bodies were flush against each other. "She's a brunette. She is, without a doubt, the most beguiling, gorgeous little creature I've ever laid my eyes on. And I am so completely screwed because I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to tell her no."

Chuckling, Bella wrapped her arms around his neck. "A love like that can't be denied," she said, pretending to sigh resignedly.

Their lips were so close together now they were touching lightly. "Mmmm," Edward murmured. He kissed her once - barely a brush. "Yes. And if that weren't enough, there's more."

She pulled back ever so slightly to look at him. "More?"

"Her mother? A total MILF." He leaned in, silencing her laughter with his lips. When their kiss broke they were both breathless. "I want to have her as soon as possible.

"Ha. Good luck with that." She brushed her nose along his chin and grinned up at him. "I'm never having sex again."

He arched an eyebrow. "No?"

Bella shook her head. Her lips near his ear, she whispered, "I don't know if you know this, but sex leads to babies."

His hands on her waist, Edward kissed Bella again, walking her backward until her back was pushed against the wall. Releasing her lips, he kissed the line of her jaw, and then down to her neck. Bella's breath was coming in wild gasps, and she tilted her head back to give him better access to her neck. "Are you really seducing me in our daughter's nursery?" she whispered.

"Is it working?" Edward asked. He pulled back, his body still pressing her against the wall, and stroked her cheek. "If you're not ready, I won't push you."

Considering, Bella's hands traveled up and down his back. She smelled vaguely of baby skin, and the scent that was feminine and hers. He'd been patient, but he was dying to be inside of her again, and the doctor had given the all clear the week previous. Still, he didn't know if she was ready for it - physically or mentally. Their relationship had never had a rule book to guide their pace.

Tenatively, Bella stood on her tip toes so she could kiss him properly. "I wasn't kidding. I don't want to get pregnant again." Her hands wandered around to his front and she cupped him through his jeans, making Edward gasp in surprise. She smiled. "If you don't have a condom, we can do other things." She kissed him again.

Not needing to hear more, Edward bent slightly, picking Bella up without breaking their kiss. She squealed in delighted surprise, her arms going around his neck as he walked quickly toward the bedroom.

Laying her down on the bed, Edward hovered over her, kissing her. "Stay here," he ordered, mock sternly.

It took him only moments to gather the items he needed. Wanting everything to be right, Edward had actually invested in condoms and lube, following the books' advice that breastfeeding could hinder natural lubrication.

Back in the bedroom he started slowly, kissing Bella as he unbuttoned the dressy shirt she was wearing. When his fingers encountered cool metal he drew back. It was the necklace he'd given her, but there was an additional gem on it: his birthstone.

"Took me forever to find someone who could add a stone," she said quietly.

He stroked her cheek with back of his knuckled. "I love you, Bella."

"You know I love you," she echoed tenderly. Then a mischievous grin lit her features. "No snap to it, Cullen. We're parents now. We don't have time for foreplay."

They giggled and laughed together, playful as their hands tugged unbuttoned, unzipped and tugged clothes off. Edward whispered sweetly to her, telling her how beautiful she was as his hands roamed over her body, touching and seeing the marks on her from where she had grown their baby. And when he finally slid into her, Edward was exceedingly gentle. He let her set the pace, matching the cadence of her rocking hips as he kissed and caressed her, showing and telling her how much he loved her and how much he wanted to stay here forever.

Afterward they lay cuddled together, skin to skin, just enjoying the silence and peace of the house.

"Bella?" Edward asked quietly, fingering the necklace that hung around her neck.

"Hmm?" she sounded sleepy, and Edward began to second guess his intentions. He should let her rest.

But he couldn't. "What would you think about moving?"

That got her attention. She shifted, lifting her head from his chest so she could look him in the eye. "What?"

Edward pressed his lips together, his heart pounding. He lifted a finger, tracing the line of her furrowed brow. "Maybe it's time to sell my house. I'm never there anyway. I don't want to be. I like being here with you and Ari. But I was thinking, maybe we could find a house that would be ours... together. Something with enough room for us both to have an office, and Ari to have a big backyard to play in."

Bella tilted her head, looking amused. "I give it up to you once and now you want to live together in a big house?"

Edward opened his mouth to defend himself, or take it all back, but was silenced when she put a finger to his lips. "I was teasing, Edward." She laughed. Then her face got serious as she snuggled against him again. "It feels like we've known each other forever, but it's been less than a year."

"It was just a suggestion, Bella." His fingers twirled her hair nervously. "I know it hasn't been that long. I just can't imagine ever being without you and the baby."

"I know," she said quietly. "I feel the same way."

Before they could talk further, the monitor squawked as Arianna cried. Then they were pulling on robes and going to attend to their weepy child. A few minutes later, Edward found himself leaning in the doorway, watching Bella as she sat in the rocking chair, nursing Arianna. He thought of how much his life had changed, and how he was more happy in that moment then he ever knew was possible. His girls were beautiful, and he couldn't have been prouder.

Remembering how this all began - a favor so his sister could have a child with the woman she loved - Edward could help but wonder at the way things had turned out. No matter what his intentions were, he'd created a child with a wonderful, caring woman. He'd become a father - a title that frightened him with the prospect that he would fail in any of responsibilities he now had to protect Arianna and guide her, but also awed him. He'd never been so proud of something he'd had a hand in in all of his life. He was endlessly in love with his little girl.

And somehow, through all the drama and unexpected twists and turns, he had found a connection that he didn't think he'd believed in. Bella was like a long lost part of him - written into his heart before he even knew she existed. If he'd known he could feel like this for someone - so alive and entirely happy - he would have been searched the world for her. But love had found him, not as a goal, but as a side note to the domino effect that happened when he made what turned out to be the most important decision of his life.

Bella looked up at him, extending her free hand to him with a gentle smile. Smiling back, Edward went to join his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: First and foremost, thanks to jadedandboring and barburella for all they do for me. Thanks to Twitina and jfka06 for letting me ask about their baby experiences. And thank you, THANK YOU, to all of you. I'm sorry – I wish I'd responded to every review. I did try.
> 
> This story will have an epilogue – which should post by the end of the week – and at LEAST two outtakes. The first outtake is a Jasper/Peter smut take, and the second is a pre-take from how Alice and Rose got together. The second one will be part of the Fandom Sexual Assault Awareness compilation, but eventually it will be posted here.
> 
> So, if there's a scene you'd like to see or a future take or a pre take you're interested in, let me know. It might end up here. I know a couple of you want more Jasper/Peter. Hehe.


	27. Epilogue: Best Laid Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, folks. You're going to want to prepare yourself. Take a deep breath. Make sure you're sitting down. Yes. It's. Fluff. With a side of fluffernut sauce.
> 
> Disclaimer: I donut own them. Stephenie does, and I'm so glad she shared them with us.

"Mommy! Daddy! Daddy!"

Edward's eyes snapped open, and he looked around blearily, trying to find the danger. He saw Bella, blinking sporadically as she tried to shake off sleep. Then came another wail. "Mommmmeeeeeeeee. Daaaaddddeeeee."

Throwing off the blankets, Edward darted out into the hall, two rooms over to his daughter's room. He knew Bella was right behind him. The moment he stepped through the door he took in Arianna's miniature form. She was sobbing into her pillow, her entire body shaking even under the blanket. Edward's heart twisted, but he was relieved, seeing she was in one piece.

"Baby," he said soothingly, untangling the blankets from her thrashing form. "Ari, wake up. It's just a nightmare. You're okay." He picked her up, holding her close to him as he sat on the edge of her bed. "Shhh, shhh, baby. We've got you."

Ari stopped screaming automatically, clinging to his neck as she cried. Bella sat beside them, running her fingers through the little girl's sleep-mussed, chestnut hair. They shared a chagrined look over her shaking shoulders, and Bella rolled her eyes slightly. As it turned out, Ari was a huge fan of scary movies. Edward didn't see the problem with a good scare… and besides, Ari had given him that please-Daddy-please look.

"There's a monster," Ari complained, her voice muffled because she spoke into his shirt.

"Ari, we've had this discussion, remember? The monster from the movie isn't real," Edward said quietly.

This made Ari lift her head, and she gave Edward a Daddy-why-are-you-so-dumb look – an exact replica of how Bella looked at him frequently except in a smaller size and with beautiful emerald colored eyes instead of deep brown ones. "I know  _that_ ," she said in her best 'duh' voice. "That monster is fick-shun-ul," she pronounced the word deliberately. "It's an  _other_  monster. It's really hairy. And ugly."

"It's Uncle Jacob?" Edward asked.

"Edward," Bella admonished, smacking his arm lightly.

"Nooooo," Ari protested. "He's in my closet. He wants my hats!"

"So he's Uncle Jasper."

Bella covered her face with her hands, trying to smother her giggles.

"No! Daddy, are you even listening?" She was scowling at him – another look he saw on Bella's face frequently.

Edward had to try very hard to put his serious face on after that. It was hard not to laugh. "Yes, you have my full attention, baby," he promised.

She studied him carefully and then rolled her eyes. Twisting in his arms, she looked to her mother. "Mommy, Daddy won't get the monster."

"That's because Daddy doesn't know how to catch monsters. That's a job for mommies," Bella said, nodding gravely. She made a move like she was opening a big bag. "See, mommies have monster catching kits." She pretended to rummage through the imaginary bag. "Ah, this will do."

Edward watched, almost as fascinated as Arianna, as Bella put on a whole scene. She slunk over to Ari's closet, threw the door open, pretended to wrestle the monster into her net while Ari squealed and bounced on his lap, and finally prevailed.

"Ari! Open the window!" Bella cried, pretending to struggle with the netted monster.

Ari hopped off Edward's lap, scurrying over to the window. She pushed it open as much as her short frame would allow. "Go, Mommy!" she cheered as Bella released the monster out the window.

Sweeping her daughter up into her arms for a celebratory hug and kiss, Bella walked her back over to the bed. "Okay, kid. The monster's gone and it's still nighttime. Can you sleep now?"

Arianna considered this. "Lullaby?" she requested.

Bella looked up at Edward. "That's Daddy's department."

**~0~**

"Daddy," a little voice sing-songed.

Edward looked up from his laptop to see Arianna peeking over the edge of his desk, watching him. He raised a questioning eyebrow at her. "Whatchoo doin'?" she asked.

"Shopping for a birthday present for Mommy," he answered.

"Oooh! Can I help?" she hurried around to his side of the desk and clambered up onto his lap without waiting for an answer.

"I suppose you can," he chuckled.

"It's always someone's birthday, huh?" she asked, putting her hand over his to 'help' move the mouse. Bella had taken her shopping to get a present for Irina and Katrina the day before.

Since Arianna's birth, almost five years before, the family had expanded exponentially. Emmett had finally convinced Tanya to have another baby. Their son, Carson Carlisle Cullen, turned two a couple weeks previous, in August. Jasper and Peter had a daughter, Bethany Charlotte Whitlock, three. Arianna also spent a lot of time with the siblings that Mike and Leah had adopted, Kaylee Marie Newton, four and Derek William Newton, one. On top of this, Rosalie was five months pregnant with her and Alice's second child.

"We have a lot to celebrate," Edward allowed, kissing the top of his daughter's head.

"I like parties," Ari commented amiably. "Daddy?"

"Yes, Ari?"

"Can I have a baby brother or sister like Dash?"

"Uh…."

**~0~**

Bella looked around Esme and Carlisle's backyard, taking in her family. Arianna and Dash were in the pool, each of them clinging like monkeys to the back of one of the twins. Edward was sitting on the grass, ever watchful of his daughter, as he sipped a beer. Nearby, Emmett was trying to coach Carson how to wrestle.

"Watch and learn, little man. Watch and learn," Emmett said. He took advantage of the fact that Edward was preoccupied and tackled his brother.

Edward wasn't as oblivious as he was pretending to be. Moving quickly, he dodged Emmett's tackle and went at his brother full force. "Hey!" Emmett protested as they grappled. "You cheat."

"Ha!" Edward grunted. "It's not my fault you're slow and obvious."

Tanya went and picked Carson up before he could get run over by the rolling men. "You are explaining to his preschool teacher why he keeps tackling the other kids," she said, pretending to scowl.

"Babe," Emmett panted as he got Edward into a headlock, "I'm telling you. Triple C is a perfect wrestler's name. It's what he was born to d-"

He cut off as Edward threw him backward, rolling out of his choke hold .

A deep chuckle drew her attention away from the wrestling childr-… men. Bella looked up just as Jasper sat down in the lounge chair beside her. He sat Bethany between his legs, holding the squirming girl with one hand while wielding sunscreen lotion with the other. "Boys will be boys," he laughed, looking over at Emmett and Edward. "It makes me glad I had a sister." He kissed Bethany, nuzzling his nose in her neck so the little girl giggled. "And it makes me glad my Bethy is a perfect princess."

Bella snorted. "Bethany is  _not_  dainty. She downed Dash the other day when the kids were playing."

Jasper looked over at Bella, rolling his eyes. "Not for nothing, sugar, but that boy is a lover not a fighter." He shook his head, smiling lightly. It was true. Dash wasn't a wimp – that was an impossibility, his parents being who they were. He was a tough little kid. He simply preferred to talk circles around anyone who threatened him. He had certainly inherited Jasper's gentle, insightful nature.

And Jasper was proud of the boy, as any uncle would be. But his daughter was the apple of his eye.

Once Jasper had covered Bethany in sunscreen from head to toe, added floaties to her skinny arms and sent her off to play in the pool with Peter, Bella caught his attention. "Jasper?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Are you and Peter going to have any more kids?" she asked quietly.

Jasper raised his eyebrow, looking at her with a knowing expression. "Yeah, actually. I haven't had a chance to tell you…" his face grew a little somber, "what with everything that's happening with Jacob and Lizzie…"

Bella grimaced. When they'd finally started to try for a family, Jacob and Lizzie found they were having problems conceiving. Bella's heart went out to her friends, especially every time she saw them watching everyone else's children with a bittersweet look in their eyes.

"We have an appointment at the clinic in a couple of days," Jasper continued.

"That's really great, Jasper. Congratulations."

Jasper nodded. "So…" he said when she didn't say anything else. "Are you thinking of giving Ari a sibling too?"

Bella ignored him and put on her sunglasses.

**~Some weeks later~**

"I've been thinking…" Bella began but trailed off.

Edward raised an eyebrow and then grinned at her, climbing on the bed and crawling over her body. "Uh oh. Should I be worried?" His grin faltered when she didn't look at him, instead tracing his lips and the shape of his jaw with her pointer finger. "Bella?"

Sighing – because obviously her nerves in this situation were utterly ridiculous – Bella raised her eyes to meet his. He must have read in her eyes that this conversation was going to be serious, because he instantly straightened up. It took him a moment to sit back against the headboard, but then he opened his arms, and Bella gladly climbed into them.

She felt instantly calmer with his arms around her. "You know," she began, "I never felt slighted that I was an only child. The only time I ever wished for a sibling was thinking it'd be nice to have a big brother around. I don't think there's anything wrong with being an only child…"

"But?" Edward prompted.

"But watching you with Emmett and Rosalie… and watching the twins with Carson, and even Kaylee and Derek, I've just come to realize what a beautiful connection siblings have. It's not something you can duplicate, you know? I mean, she's close with Dash, and he'll always be her cousin, but it's not the same relationship at all."

Edward shifted so that he could look at her. "Bella… are you saying you want another baby?"

He was, Bella knew, trying to keep the hope out of his voice. Still, she heard it. She'd known he wanted another child for a long time but had been resistant to the idea. Arianna was fine and had plenty of company with all of her cousins and friends. "I don't want to be pregnant again," Bella said flatly. While she had enjoyed feeling her baby move inside of her, Bella was simply not one of those women who liked being pregnant. Her daughter was more than worth it, but she knew there were other options for them as well. "I was wondering how you feel about adoption."

Edward blinked, obviously taken by surprise, and Bella continued. "I don't think adoption is for everyone, so you can tell me if you couldn't love an adopted child the same way you love Ari. But there are so many children who need a good home and a loving family to take care of them. Edward, our family is amazing. We have the means and the love to give."

He put a finger over her lips, a slow smile spreading across his face. "I think that adoption is a beautiful idea. We could have a chance to help a woman in a difficult situation, like Charlotte."

Back when Charlotte had carried Bethany for Jasper and Peter, she'd told them all the story of her first pregnancy. She'd been knocked up after a one night stand when she was 19. Nearly destitute and lacking any sort of maternal instinct, she'd put the baby up for adoption when she was barely two months pregnant. The family that agreed to adopt her child had taken very good care of her. They'd paid for all the doctors appointments she needed and had gone the extra mile of pampering her as much as possible. She'd had gifts and spa treatments – the works. On top of that, she really enjoyed being pregnant. She loved the idea that she could give life to a creature, house it and grow it. She just also liked being able to give the baby away to someone else to raise. So she'd been a natural choice for surrogacy for Jasper and Peter, and they'd spoiled the hell out of her while she was pregnant.

"We could go the Juno route," Bella said, nodding carefully. Then she grinned mischievously, wiggling her eyebrows at him. "Or we could adopt an older child. Maybe skip the whole potty training ordeal."

Edward laughed and rolled them so that he was on top of her again. He kissed her softly, and then harder as joy got the best of him. When he broke the kiss his utter happiness radiated from his eyes. "We'll look into everything and find the right choice for us," he said decisively.

Putting both hands on either side of his face, Bella let herself feel excited. She giggled, a little giddy and nervous at the prospect of being a mother to another child. "Okay," she said, pulling his face down for another kiss.

"Okay," he agreed, his hands already bunching the fabric of her nightshirt, inching it up her torso. He rained kisses on the skin of her belly, brushing his fingers over her breasts. When her shirt was off and he'd kissed a line all the way up from her stomach, peppering kisses across her nipples, and then nipping gently at her neck, he finally kissed her full on the lips again. "I love you, Bella."

Her answering smile was soft, and she stroked his cheek. "I love you too."

**~0~**

"Sweetheart?"

"Mommy?"

Bella blinked, her back popping as she sat upright. She looked around, confused. It took her a minute to realize that she was at the kitchen table where she'd fallen asleep amidst an impressive pile of paperwork. Edward stood with their daughter in his arms. They were watching her. Edward was trying not to laugh. Arianna was giggling so hard she was turning red.

"Mommy! There's a paper stuck to your face!" she said gleefully. She tilted forward in Edward's arms, reaching out and helpfully removing the post-it that was adorning Bella's cheek.

"Thanks, kid," she said ruefully, standing and giving her daughter a butterfly kiss before turning to Edward. He had a strange look in his eyes that made her stop short. "What? Is there another one?" She patted her face self-consciously.

Instead of answering her, Edward set Ari on her feet, squatting so he could address her. "You made something for Mommy at school today, right? Why don't you go get it so you can show her."

"Yeah! Yeah!" Ari bounced enthusiastically and ran off toward the living room to find her backpack.

Edward stood again and turned to her, studying her carefully. "This is the second time you've conked out at the kitchen table in a week."

"I've been tired. What of it?"

Again, he just looked at her for a long, tense moment. "Bella, do you think maybe… do you think you could be pregnant?"

Bella's breath caught in her throat. Her mind went blank for the one, two, three seconds. She looked down at all the adoption paperwork in front of her from multiple agencies. "No," she said bluntly.

Before Edward could argue, Ari came flying back into the kitchen, effectively ending the conversation.

~0~

"I don't know what to do with her," Edward groaned into his hands. "She's pregnant. I'm sure of it. I just can't get her to take a test. Or even talk about it."

"Pregnancy is a big thing to wrap your head around, no matter how many times you've done it," his mother soothed, petting his hair. "Give her time."

"How much time should I give her?" Edward grumbled.

"If she's having contractions and still insisting she's not pregnant, then I would worry," Carlisle offered cheerfully.

Edward just groaned again, shaking his head. Bella was in complete denial. She still kept talking about adoption. She fell asleep at all hours of the day, had pushed her dinner away the day previous because she was nauseated, and Aunt Flo had, to the best of his knowledge, been non-existent in their household for a good amount of time.

Taking pity on her son, Esme announced, "I think that we should have garlic chicken for dinner tonight. Don't you?"

Edward was confused until Bella arrived for dinner. She took one step in the house, clamped a hand over her mouth and darted for the bathroom.

"That wasn't nice, Mom," Edward admonished, realizing what she'd done. The house reeked of garlic and onions.

"What?" Esme asked innocently. "You wanted her not to be able to deny it."

"Where's Mommy?" Ari asked worriedly, noticing everyone was gathered except her mother and Dash's.

"Yeah, where's Mommy?" Dash asked Alice.

"Mommy and Aunt Bella are probably going to have to eat outside on the deck today," Alice said, obviously amused. Rosalie, eight months pregnant now, had nearly fainted when she entered the house earlier. "It's a good thing we live in California. If we lived where it rained, they'd be too cold. Poor things."

Shaking his head, Edward kisses his daughter's hair and went to see if Bella was okay. He found her out on the front stoop, sitting on the stairs and taking in slow, deep lung-fulls of chilly December air. Quietly, he sat down beside her, waiting for her to speak.

"Edward," she started, then sighed. "I don't know how to say this."

"Wait. Give me a minute to prepare my surprised face." He tapered down his grin so he could stare at her with blank concern. "Okay, go."

In spite of herself, Bella smiled. "Can you stop looking so g'damn happy about this?"

"About what, Bella?" he asked, a grin already threatening to betray his cool exterior.

She elbowed him, and Edward chuckled, putting his arm around her. "I'm pregnant," she admitted.

Resting his chin on her head, Edward allowed himself to smile. Hard. "I know," he said softly. "Are you okay?"

Her shoulders shook slightly as she trembled, her voice sounding small. "Yeah, I am. And I'm happy... I just..." She looked up at him, her eyes a little watery. "Promise me an uncomplicated pregnancy. Please?"

Kissing her forehead and her nose and her cheeks, Edward held her tightly. "I'm going to take such good care of you," he promised.

**~Some weeks later~**

"Oh, God," Bella moaned, covering her face with her hands as she stared at the little screen. "This is not what I call uncomplicated," she whined to Edward. "And this is all your fault."

For his part, Edward was still blinking in open-mouthed shock at ultrasound technician who stood opposite, still pressing the wand to Bella's belly. "Can you...repeat that?"

The technician seemed amused. "There are two heartbeats," he repeated. He moved the wand, searching. "Yeah, there it is," he tapped the screen.

Some hours later they were sitting at home on the couch. Neither of them said much after they dropped Ari off to spend some time with Charlie. Though Edward had his arm around her, they were both lost in their own worlds, deep in thought.

Then Bella laughed. She couldn't help it. She laughed so hard that she actually started crying. Edward looked at her as if she'd grown another head. "Bella?" he asked, obviously not sure how to take her giggle fit.

"I was just thinking," she said, calming. "I am...overwhelmed at the prospect of having two babies at once. I'm overwhelmed at the thought of going from having one child to having three. It is absolutely hysterical to me that, when it comes to my family, every single plan I've ever made has gone in a completely different direction than I intended."

Edward smirked. "Best laid plans and all that," he murmured.

Bella nodded. "But all that aside, I've got nothing to complain about. Life doesn't ever happen the way you plan it, no matter how careful you are. Look at Jake and Lizzie – on their fourth IVF attempt and here I am, pregnant with twins when I didn't even want to get pregnant again. Nothing about how I wanted to make a family has gone as planned… but because of that, I have a beautiful daughter." She smiled and ran a finger down his nose. "And you."

"Yes," Edward agreed, his face softening and the tension at his brow easing. "You and Ari are more than I ever could have expected out of life." His arms around her, he hugged her close. "You're everything."

Bella tilted her head, pressing her lips to his as her body relaxed against him. Edward's hand sneaked under the hem of her shirt, his hand splayed over the gentle swell of her belly as his breath caught. His babies. And he would be there for them, wanting them, from the minute he knew they existed.

"We can do this, right?" Bella asked breathlessly.

" _You_  are capable of anything," Edward said fervently. "So together? Yeah, Bella. We're pretty much unstoppable."

She chuffed, but smiled, and kissed him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Apparently I decided since I'm never writing a baby fic again that I was just going for broke. DAMN that's a lot of babies.
> 
> The additional children were named by twitina, jfka06, and barburella. Endless thanks to barburella, tellingmelies, jadedandboring and twilightmundi for handholding/betaing.
> 
> Not to be cheesy but it has been an honor and a privilege writing for you. I've loved your enthusiasm, and I thank you so much for sharing all your pregnancy, birth and child stories.
> 
> Other projects-
> 
> Underworld: Edward/Bella/Jasper - lots of kink. Light BDSM and slash. If that's your thing. There is a romantic plotline in there with all the bondage.
> 
> In the Mirror: Angst fic. Hardcore angst fic. E/B yes, but expect... angst.
> 
> As I said before, Parenthetical Love will eventually have outtakes. For sure there is a Jasper/Peter smuttake. There will be Rosalie and Alice's first time and how they got together for the Fandom for Sexual Assault Awareness compilation. It will eventually be posted here. Other than that, keep me on alert because these characters haven't stopped talking to me. I just don't know what I'm going to do with them yet. Still open to suggestions.
> 
> But, for the time being, I thank you and mark this story complete.


	28. Outtake 1: Jasper/Peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Non-slash people make sure to read the a/ns. Heheh)
> 
> A/N: This is an outtake that appeared on the Twinklings blog. For you non-slash hoors, scroll to the bottom for an "important" announcement. Jasper/Peter fans… enjoy. This is an outtake from somewhere between the first and second chapters.

Jasper drove home from the clinic in something of a daze. It was all a little surreal. He'd just gotten done making his first donation of sperm which had then been inserted into his best friend - Bella.

Even now his boys could be mingling with Bella's egg. Life could be beginning... because of him.

He pulled into his driveway and bounded distractedly up the three stairs to his front porch.

He had barely gotten the key in the door when it was flung open. Jasper found himself being dragged inside by his shirt. The door slammed and then he was pressed up against it, Peter's lips and body pressed hard against his own. His growl of surprise turned into a low moan as Peter ground his pelvis in rough circles against him.

Peter was already hard.

"Jesus. Fucking. Christ," Jasper panted between kisses. His hands trailed up and down Peter's back, pressing him closer before he palmed the other man's ass. "It's only been three days, Peter." Three days because, in order to provide the highest possible sperm count, the clinic had asked that he refrain from ... otherwise spreading his seed for a few days surrounding Bella's ovulation schedule.

"Too long," Peter grunted, biting lightly on Jasper's ear as his hands wrestled their way between them, scrambling for Jasper's belt buckle. "Want you."

"Fuck!" Jasper cried, banging his head against the door as Peter rubbed him through the thin fabric of his boxers. "You're not even talking in whole sentences."

"Talk is cheap," Peter replied flippantly as he nipped along Jasper's neck.

"Seriously," Jasper shuddered as he pressed himself against Peter's hand, "what's with you, doll?"

Peter lifted his head, his face tender as his hands moved slower. He pushed Jasper's pants down and then began undoing the buttons of his shirt one by one. With each button he pressed a sweet kiss to the blond man's lips. "I don't know," he murmured between kisses, darting his head away when Jasper leaned forward to capture a kiss. "You're making a baby. Its just...kinda...hot."

Jasper's pursed his lips, reaching out to hold Peter's head still between his hands. "It turns you on that I'm helping someone else make a baby ... who isn't ours?"

"Life is life, Jasper." Peter grinned. "That you're doing this for Bella only makes you that much hotter."

A slow grin spread across Jasper's face and he leaned in, stroking the other man's cheeks as he kissed him long and deep. As his lips worked, he undid the button to Peter's jeans, both of them shoving them down together. "Who would have known babymaking would get you all worked up," Jasper snickered against the other man's lips. He kissed Peter again, his hands moving down to run through the hair at the back of his neck. "Too bad I can't knock you up, hmm?"

Peter scoffed. "More like lucky you can't knock me up. We would have had an accident baby or... three by now." He looked at Jasper, a wickedly mischievous glint in his eyes. "Doesn't stop us from trying though."

With that they began their trek, only barely managing to walk-kiss-stumble-grope their way to their bedroom, flinging off clothing as they went.

Peter went quickly to their nightstand, grabbing the bottle of lube they kept there. He returned to Jasper's side, and the blond man pulled him close. As Jasper's hands explored hard, smooth, muscular shoulders, Peter wrapped his slicked hands around hard, smooth, hot length. He worked Jasper over quickly, with expert fingers. Jasper released his lips with a gasp when Peter slid his fingers down between his balls, running over them with just the right amount of pressure.

Grinning smugly, Peter turned and laid face down on the bed, spreading his legs invitingly. As he joined his partner on the bed, Jasper ran his hands along the inside of Peter's legs, making the other man shiver and give quiet whimpers into his pillow. Then the blond man laid between his lover's spread legs, keeping himself propped up on one arm as he teased Peter's slit with the head of his cock.

"I want you inside me. Now," Peter groaned.

"So fucking needy," Jasper laughed, but in one, two, three thrusts he was fully sheathed inside of Peter, and he shuddered - reveling in how amazing it always felt. Perfect.

Jasper started off slow, pressing kisses across Peter's shoulders before he buried his face at the brunet's neck.

"Do you know what they call this position on the French Kama sutra site I was looking at earlier?" Peter asked, arcing up to meet Jasper's thrusts.

"What's that?"

"The elephant," Peter said, the last word cutting off into a strangled moan.

Jasper snorted, nuzzling his nose along the other man's neck. "They named it after my cock?" he asked, licking the shell of Peter's ear.

Peter laughed and the movement made them both sigh with absolute pleasure.

"If you can talk so fucking much, I must not be doing this right," Jasper growled. Before Peter could protest he pulled out. His lover stopped mid-whine as Jasper wordlessly tugged him over to lie on his back.

Automatically, Peter pulled his legs up as Jasper slid back inside him. "I like this better," the brunet agreed.

Jasper leaned down, kissing him harder as his movements became more insistent. He could feel Peter's hard length against his stomach.

It took Jasper a moment to summon enough coherency to, once again, assess their position. Again he pulled out, this time only long enough to get on his knees, bringing Peter's legs up to wrap around him. This position was the best of all worlds. Jasper could penetrate him hard, deep and comfortably, leaving both his hands and Peter's cock free to find their own fun.

For minutes there was only the sound of flesh against flesh and guttural moans of pleasure. Peter's hands pressed, and titillated inch after inch of Jasper's skin, his caresses becoming grabs as the blond man's tempo increased. Jasper ran his fingers down along Peter's balls, giving a small cry when he felt where they were joined, and then back up the length of his shaft. Their hips moved together.

Almost without warning Jasper stiffened and jerked, crying out as he spilled into Peter sooner than he'd wanted to. He knew Peter hadn't found his release yet.

"Can you..." Peter began as Jasper caught his breath.

Jasper laughed shakily. "After the clinic and now here? I think I'm spent, doll." He scooted up Peter's body, leaning in for a slow, deep kiss. "Let me take care of you," he murmured. He laid down beside Peter then, shoving two pillows underneath his head.

Getting the idea quickly, Peter straddled Jasper's body, inching his way up eagerly. He sat up straight on his knees, bracing one arm against the headboard while his free hand came down, tangling his fingers in Jasper's hair.

As Jasper guided Peter's length into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the other man's girth, the brunet began to rock - slowly at first but then quicker as Jasper's hands encouraged him deeper. The blond man's hands were everywhere, squeezing Peter's ass and sliding his finger into his asshole, stimulating him. Running along the backs of his thighs. Reaching to fondle his balls as Peter finally came, calling Jasper's name loudly.

Both sated for the moment, Peter lowered himself down into Jasper's embrace. The two men kissed lazily, hands running tenderly through each other's hair and brushing each other's cheeks.

As he brushed his lover's hair back, Jasper slipped back into deep thoughts. He loved this man to the depths of his being. They would spend their lives together - this Jasper was sure of. But one thing they had yet to talk about was children. He kissed the tip of Peter's nose. "Do you want kids?" he asked.

Peter tilted his head, a small smile playing at his lips. "Someday, I think," he said quietly. Then he grinned wider and cuddled himself closer. "But right now, babe? All I need is you."

Jasper smiled against Peter's mouth. "Well that, doll, is definitely yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to TwilightMundi for beta work! Okay, so… there will be at least two more outtakes (yes, one of which is Edward and Bella and the birth of the twins). But I'm also going to be writing a Jasper/Peter companion that happens between the last chapter of PL and the epilogue of PL. Edward and Bella will feature prominently, as will Rose and Alice. It will, however, be a Jasper/Peter story.
> 
> Also, for those interested, I am fully intending to enter the beautiful bellies contest. It's anon! Enjoy 'll find a link to them in my favorite authors.
> 
> Much love.


	29. Dream of Something Else Instead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was written as a submission for the Fandom For Sexual Assault Awareness compilation. This is a pre-take about Alice and Rosalie. If you contributed, thank you. It's a very important cause that should be dear to all of our hearts.

Waking up was the worst part of the day.

It topped dealing with her mother's nervous energy. Esme had taken to babbling around her – anything and everything that came to mind as long as it was inconsequential. Every day she was there with her forced smiles and, 'why don't we go see a movie, sweetheart?' and 'are you sure you won't have anything to eat?' It didn't escape Rosalie that her mother looked everywhere but directly in her eyes.

Worse than dealing with her mother was dealing with her father. Carlisle wore guilt on his sleeve, and Rosalie wished he wouldn't look her in the eye so she couldn't see it there. When she was still in the clinic – when all of her secrets came out – he wouldn't stop apologizing. He was so sorry. He should have known. Dammit, he could recognize the signs of abuse and trauma in other people's children, why not his own? He'd failed her. And Rosalie heard it over and over again until she couldn't stand it anymore. She'd screamed at him not to say it again, never again. He found a way around his promise. He said he was sorry at the slightest provocation. If they bumped into each other in the hallway he was sorry, he was sorry to bother her, sorry to interrupt, sorry for taking the last Pepsi from the refrigerator.

But she would rather hear her father's constant stream of apologies if she didn't have to see her older brother's helplessness. For Emmett, life had always been simple. If it felt good to him, he usually did it. He was all about that relaxed atmosphere. Of course, he'd had his challenges balancing feeling good with the right thing to do, but he'd come to a place where nothing was overly serious and almost everything could be laughed away. When things got too tense, he joked, but even when she wanted to, Rosalie found she couldn't laugh. Emmett would have pulverized the people who hurt her, who lead her down the path of her destruction, but they were untouchable or already in prison. This was something he couldn't help her laugh off or make better with his physical strength. The lost expression on his face twisted whatever was left of her heart.

Even then, Emmett's helplessness was preferable to her twin's anger. How many times had Edward tried to pull her back from the ledge? He knew a part of her that no one else would ever be able to understand. He'd known the moment she was in trouble. For years, he'd tried to get her to talk to him, tried to steer her back toward the straight and narrow. He'd tried everything from yelling to pleading for her to get help. He'd cleaned up more of her messes than the press would ever know about, and at the end of it all, he couldn't keep her from self destruction. And he was pissed about it. He spoke to her through gritted teeth, obviously struggling not to scream. His eyes, when he could bring himself to look at her, were fire.

Worse than all of that, every single day, was the first few moments she opened her eyes. For precious seconds she would wake in her parents' house and imagine she was safe. Her parents doted on her. Her brother adored her. Her twin shared her every thought. She was loved and lovely. Then reality set in. Everything she saw in her family was a reflection of the chaos inside of her. She was ashamed, guilty, helpless and angry. And Jesus Christ she wanted a hit. She woke to a world that was frightening because it seemed like everyone wanted something from her and no one was trustworthy. Since the clinic, she'd been outside only a handful of times. Everywhere she went she felt like people were staring at her. She felt like they were judging her... or they knew. It made her defensive and nervous.

She was so sick of always being on edge.

The door swung open, and Rosalie burrowed further under the covers with a groan, not ready to face her family.

"Blankets don't make you invisible, Rose," an amused voice said.

Rosalie perked up, peeking over the edge of the blanket. "Alice," she said on a breath, the pressure around her chest and the weight on her shoulders lessening just slightly.

Alice didn't answer right away. She busied herself flitting around the room, opening blinds and picking up dirty clothes. Squinting against the sunlight, Rosalie pulled herself into a sitting position. "Don't... you shouldn't do that," she said, wishing she felt like she had the energy to get out of bed and stop Alice. "You don't have to do that."

"I don't have to do anything I don't want to do," the other woman replied drolly. Rosalie was about to protest again but Alice shot her an exasperated look. "Talking isn't going to stop me," she warned.

Anger - still white hot, raw and unfiltered, boiled through Rosalie's veins. "No? Then how about this? This is my room in my house. I don't want to see you. I don't want to see anyone. Get. Out." Even as the words were leaving her mouth - shooting with the strength and vengeance of a fired missile - Rosalie wanted to recall them.  _I didn't mean it_ , her thoughts screamed, but her body was out of whack. Her eyes were narrowed, her lips pressed into a tight, thin line, and her hands were clenched in fists of rage.

It had its intended effect. Alice stilled, and Rosalie was glad she was facing away. For everything she had already been through, it felt like some small slice of her was withering in whatever was left of her heart. Part of her wanted it that way. She thought of her heart like the petal of a red rose, blackening around the edges. Eventually, she could crush it between her fingers and brush it away into fine, powdery pieces that couldn't hurt her anymore.

Alice breathed deeply and when she turned around, she was smiling, though Rosalie noticed she no longer looked at her directly. "Fine, if that's what you want. I wouldn't want to trespass, after all." Her voice was light, carefree, but Rose could hear the edge. She was trying to pretend she wasn't hurt.

Keeping her eyes trained on the ground, Rosalie watched Alice's shoes cross the room.  _Stop. Please don't go._ The words stuck in her throat, causing a painful lump she could scarcely swallow around. The raven haired woman stopped at the door but only sighed and left.

The room was too silent when she was gone. Rosalie sat still on the bed, waiting for the phantom ache at the center of her chest to subside. It had to have a peak. It had to come down somehow. Her head swam, and she ached for the days when she could make it all just go away.

Putting her head down between her knees, she breathed deeply and slowly, thinking about calling her sponsor. Not that she could use even if she really wanted to - she'd never get out the door without relentless questions from her parents - but Heidi would understand the urge.

But then, she'd have to explain what prompted it and would want to know why - of everyone Rosalie had to face - Alice was the one she couldn't stand to disappoint.

Feeling like she would cry if she kept still - and Rosalie hated crying - she got up quickly. She looked around, needing to wrap her mind around something - anything else.

Her eyes flitted over to her computer but she knew if she turned it on, she would have to face e-mails from her well meaning friends. They sent her links to articles; the paparazzi had taken her picture when she went out the week previous - hair in a ponytail, large, dark glasses obscuring her tired eyes and no make up to speak of. They didn't understand how she could let herself be seen like that. They were trying to bring the old her back so they could pretend their world was beautiful and she hadn't had a nasty, very public break down.

So her computer remained off. Rosalie considered showering, but right then she didn't need so much as five minutes of alone time with her own head. Instead, she padded downstairs, needing to keep her mind occupied.

Esme and Carlisle were in the kitchen; she could hear them talking. Desperately in need of a distraction, and not altogether unsure that she didn't want to pick a fight with someone, Rosalie walked in their direction.

It didn't take long for her parents to spark her irritation. The look of surprise they shared and quickly tried to cover was all it took to set her teeth on edge. Esme offered her a sandwich with the crusts cut off, lessening the strength of Rosalie's anger slightly but then her father father ruined it all. He reached for the mustard at the same time she did and instantly pulled his hand back, apologizing.

Rosalie picked up her plate just so she could slam it back down. The loud clatter was satisfying and a fitting accompaniment to her tone. "Stop. Saying. That," she snapped at her father. "I'm not made of fucking glass. Just stop it!"

She didn't miss the stricken look on Carlisle's face as she pushed her chair back and stormed back upstairs.

**~0~**

Emmett was more ingenious than Rosalie had given him credit for. He found a way to make her laugh before she could help herself. Rosalie woke giggling because he was tickling her foot, holding her ankle so firmly that no matter how she twisted and squealed, she couldn't get away.

"Em! Em! Stop it!" she screamed between titters.

Chuckling, Emmett let her go and climbed up the bed. He laid down behind her, wrapping her in his arms for a bear hug. "Happy birthday."

Rosalie chuffed but didn't say anything, snuggling back in her brother's arms and letting herself feel safe for just a few moments.

"Get up. I have a surprise for you."

"Emmett," Rosalie groaned. "Jesus, what time is it anyway?"

"Too fucking early, that's what time it is," he said, his voice way too cheerful for...

"Fuck! It's 6:30 in the morning. What the hell, Emmett?" she protested, turning to face her big brother.

He was grinning at her mischievously, in his element now that he'd gotten a giggle out of her. "Well, I know how long it takes you to get ready. So hurry your ass up." He laid on his back, his hands behind his head as he relaxed on her bed. When she didn't move, only glaring at him, Emmett raised one eyebrow. "Little sister, I will take you out back and hose you down if you don't get moving."

Rosalie squinted, scowling at her brother, but she was trying not to smile. She had no doubt that Emmett would follow through on his promise, so she dragged herself out of bed. "Fuck, fine. You are such a pain in the ass."

Emmett waggled his eyebrows. "That's what my wife told me last night."

"Emmett! Ew! Much more information that I needed, thanks." Her brother's laugh followed her as she shut herself in the bathroom.

**~0~**

Emmett had rented out an indoor go-kart racing rink for a few hours that morning. It was just the two of them, for which Rosalie was grateful. It was just a little easier when it was only Emmett she had to contend with.

Still, though, the effort of trying to keep her smile on when she wasn't screaming around the track was exhausting. She didn't want to disappoint her brother, but she couldn't keep her mind from wandering, wanting to wrap around heavier thoughts. The attendant made her nervous because she could see the way his eyes raked over her. It reminded her of the runway and how that hungry look of desire was what she craved - what told her she'd done everything right. But look where that had led her.

It was hard enough dealing with all the things going on in her own head: battling her addictions as she tried to grapple with the guilt and shame she could no longer hide behind drugs and alcohol. Keeping up a mask - that she was fine and happy - was too much to ask for.

So when they got back home, Rosalie retreated to her room again.

No one bothered her for hours. Rosalie was beginning to think that getting what you want on your birthday wasn't such a bad concept after all when a knock on her door stirred her out of her drowsy state.

"Everyone's waiting for you to come downstairs," Esme said, sitting on the bed and stroking Rosalie's long hair.

"Waiting for what?" Rosalie groused, closing her eyes briefly because, despite her irritated tone, her mother's fingers combing through her hair was a pleasant, comforting sensation.

"To celebrate, of course."

Oh, right. This was why she was dreading her birthday. "I don't feel like celebrating."

"Rose," her mother began, her voice soft and pleading. "It would mean so much to Edward."

"Edward," Rosalie repeated her brother's name a little harshly. "All Edward does is yell at me."

"He doesn't yell-"

"Oh, it's the same thing, Mom," Rosalie interrupted. "Just because he doesn't raise his voice doesn't mean he's not yelling." She hated the way her voice wavered at the end, betraying just how hurt she was at her twin's reproof. Some logical part of her knew it was only fair. She'd pushed him away so often and with much harsher words than he'd ever used toward her. How could she expect him to still be waiting when she was finally ready to stop being stupid?

"It's your birthday too," Esme said firmly. "He'll be on his best behavior."

Rosalie rolled her eyes at her mother's belief she still had any control over her extremely pig-headed twins. She sighed. "Fine."

As it turned out, Esme was right. Rosalie had no sooner gotten to the bottom of the stairs before her twin was there, hugging her so hard that her feet actually left the ground. She hugged him back just as tight, her smile genuine for the first time in what felt like years.

When he set her down, Edward merely smirked at her. "Happy birthday, twin," he said at the same time she did. They grinned at each other, and then it was easier to let the rest of her family hug her. Carlisle. Emmett. Tanya.

"Alice?" Rosalie was startled when she finally realized that it wasn't just her family in the room. Alice stood next to a blond woman around her same height and build. Instantly, Rosalie was wary of the other woman, wondering her relationship to Alice.

Wondering why she cared...

"Hey," Alice greeted, smiling and looking like she wanted to hug Rosalie. Then she cast a disapproving look in Emmett's direction. "You look surprised to see me. I was told you knew."

"It's okay," Rosalie said quickly, her eyes still on the blond woman who met her gaze steadily. "Who's your... friend?"

Alice looped her arm through the other woman's and grinned, making Rosalie instantly want to yank them apart. "This is Charlotte. She and I live together and work together."

Rosalie had to try very hard to keep the disinterested look on her face. It was amazing how much those simple words hurt, twisting her insides in a way entirely new to her. She found herself nodding. "That's nice," she lied. She turned to her family. "So, are we eating or what?"

The rest of the night, Rosalie found analyzing every move Alice and Charlotte made. Internally, she picked apart every flaw she found in the blond woman's physique and character. Her nose was too pointy, her laugh sounded like a braying donkey, she didn't pay near enough attention to Alice. If it was Rosalie with Alice, she'd have...

A sharp kick to her ankle broke her venomous line of thought and she raised her head. Across from her, her twin was innocently cutting off a piece of steak. He looked up from under his eyelashes, his eyes fixing her with an intense, disproving look. His eyes flicked over to Charlotte and back. She couldn't have heard his message clearer if he'd spoken out loud.

She'd been glaring at the other woman. It was obvious - at least to Edward.

Rosalie quickly wiped her hands and mouth, taking a long drink of water. Then she stood and quietly excused herself, needing a moment alone.

She hadn't been outside on the porch for more than a couple of minutes before the door opened. Rosalie sighed into the darkness, wondering who'd come after her.

"Hey, birthday girl." The gentle, tinkling voice made Rosalie's heart ache and sing at the same time. "Want some company?"

Feigning nonchalance, Rosalie shrugged. "Free country and all."

Alice stepped up to the balcony, leaning on the railing next to her. "Oh, I thought this was your house. Your rules." Her voice was light enough that Rosalie knew she was teasing, but there was hurt behind her words.

"Alice..." Rosalie began, her voice soft and regretful. She breathed in through her nose and blew that breath out slowly, reminding herself of everything she learned in rehab about taking responsibility and learning to say she was sorry. "That was... uncalled for." She looked over. Contrition had never been the easiest act for her, but Rosalie found that she did want Alice's forgiveness. "I'm really sorry I kicked you out of the house."

The other woman's face almost glowed. "Thank you, Rose. I know you've been through a lot. I understand."

The two women were silent as they looked out over the sprawling backyard. "So," Rosalie began, knowing she was potentially opening up a can of worms she didn't want to acknowledge but unable to stop herself anyway. Maybe battling her addictions had sapped all her available willpower... "How long have you and Charlotte been together?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Rosalie saw Alice shoot her a startled, hopeful look before she calmed it again. "Charlotte and I aren't together," she said flatly.

Rosalie's heart gave a ridiculous little leap. "But you live together."

"Yes," Alice said, drawing out the word. "We're roommates. Some of us need help covering the California rent," she teased.

A huge grin threatened to spread over Rosalie's face and she only barely contained it to a smug smile. Silence descended on them again, and she searched for a topic of conversation, not ready to let this little bubble that seemed to have enveloped them go.

"Do you miss Mississippi?"

Alice tilted her head, looking up at the sky. "Not really. I miss the stars... But I think California suits me better. Sunshine without being muggy, you have beaches, and deserts and mountains."

"Oh, my," Rosalie quipped, and both women smiled.

"Do you miss it? Or anywhere you lived, really?" Alice asked quietly.

"No," Rosalie answered truthfully. "I miss who I was in Mississippi."

Alice's answering laugh surprised Rosalie enough that she turned slightly. The raven haired woman's eyes were sparkling with amusement, and something that Rosalie thought, for one fleeting moment, might be a level of adoration. "You think you're all that different from the girl you were?"

Frowning, Rosalie furrowed her eyebrows at her one-time friend. "What do you mean? I'm nothing like I wanted to be when we were young."

"First of all," Alice began, drawing herself up to her full height, "you're still young. You're still smart and stubborn. And I know we talked about being movie stars, but look at all you've accomplished, being a model."

Rosalie scoffed. "Yeah, look where that got me."

Alice was quiet for a moment as the air around them became heavy. "You know... your dreams coming true doesn't mean that you never struggle. It was a terrible thing that happened to you, Rosie," her voice was soft and fervent, "but I've watched you for years. When the camera is on you... you're in your element. Tell me it didn't make you happy - when you were actually working."

Then it was Rosalie's turn to be silent. As much as she wanted to refute the words, she couldn't. There was too much truth there. In reality, she ached to return to work - though what work she didn't really know. She hated that she was scared of trusting the wrong people and being too vulnerable again.

Rosalie was startled when she felt a hand over hers. When she looked up, Alice had moved closer and now wrapped her fingers around Rosalie's, smiling knowingly. "It's just a roadblock, honey," she said steadily. "You'll get through this and be stronger than ever. That's who you are." Alice drew the knuckles of her free hand down Rosalie's arm, her eyes watching her own movements before she looked back up. "Strong...and beautiful."

Coming from Alice's lips, Rosalie actually believed those words. After months of doubt and feeling so pathetically weak, Rosalie finally felt like she was able to stand tall again. Her heart thudded, seeming to fill her chest cavity for the first time in what may have been forever. In those moments, she didn't feel empty. She felt...

Warm.

And a little dizzy.

Her breath stuttered as she realized she'd stopped breathing at some point. Time suspended, and all she could see or think about was how she wanted to express this almost giddy warmth that spread through her chest, pumping through her veins with every beat of her heart.

She wanted to kiss Alice. It was a desire so strong it matched, and in some ways exceeded, the cravings she'd experienced for alcohol or-

"I can't!" she exclaimed, turning away from Alice just as her head had begun to tilt downward. "I mean..." She lifted her arm, the one Alice had been stroking, and brought the back of her hand to her suddenly clammy cheek. "This is... I don't... need this kind of complication."

Alice drew back, sucking in a breath as if she'd been slapped. "This kind of complication..." she echoed.

"You don't understand," Rosalie stumbled. "I just... I've been dealing with so much and everyone would think..."

"Would think what, Rose?" Alice demanded.

Rosalie looked up at Alice, her thoughts thick with shame and confusion. Alice just scoffed and looked away, her hands balling into fists as she stared out across the backyard.

And suddenly Rosalie was livid. How dare Alice come here and make her think she was fourteen all over again? The truth was that Rosalie was nothing like that girl. She was too jaded to be optimistic. "Maybe you should go," she said, her voice cold.

Alice let out an exasperated growl. "Fine. Whatever you want. Happy birthday," she said shortly.

As the door behind her slammed, Rosalie screwed her eyes tightly shut. She struggled to breathe, feeling sick to her stomach and struggling to not burst into tears. She wished fervently for some small measure of time where life made sense again, where she was sure of herself and in control.

Again, she wasn't outside alone for long before the door opened. This time she knew exactly who it was. Rosalie turned as he approached, falling into his arms without looking and hoping he wasn't still so angry that he wouldn't hold her. Right then, she needed her twin's support.

Edward sighed, wrapping his arms around her and rocking slightly, a silent assurance that no matter what, he was going to be there when she really, really needed him.

She let him lead her to the porch swing. There, she lay her head on his chest, letting a few tears slip from the corner of her eyes as she caught her breath again.

"Can I ask you something?" Edward asked, his voice quiet and for once as unassuming as their father's.

Sniffling, Rosalie gave a little groan. "I've never been able to stop you."

He rubbed her back as he spoke, obviously turning his words over carefully before he said them out loud. "Why is Alice the only one you push away?"

Rosalie stiffened, biting back the urge to ask him how he knew it'd happened more than once. This was Edward - he just knew, and though Rosalie told herself that she had a good answer, she couldn't seem to find it. Instead, she turned her thoughts to long held regrets. "She wants to pretend like we're still kids - like all those years that separated us didn't happen." Her voice reeked of bitterness as she spoke. "But Mom and Dad destroyed all of that."

Edward shifted, pushing her gently upright so he could look her in the eyes. "You know, Rose," he began, not unkindly, "at some point, you're going to have to stop playing the victim."

Blinking sporadically at her brother, Rosalie wrapped her arms around herself. "If we hadn't-"

"Life happened the way it happened. I'm not saying that they made the best choice," he said before she could argue. "I'm saying - you always missed her. You never stopped missing her. Well she's here now, and Mom and Dad aren't keeping her away. They can't keep her away. You're the only one who's doing that."

Looking away, Rosalie felt a flash of irritation go down your spine. "Why do you care about her anyway?"

"Alice was practically like a sister to me. And besides, as far as I'm concerned, she saved your life," he pointed out. "But really, Rose? I care more about you. I know it's been hard on you because you lost most of your old friends in this ... mess. Alice is exactly the kind of friend you should have."

"She wants the old me," Rosalie reiterated. Who could blame her? Rosalie wanted her old self back too.

"I don't know why you keep saying that," Edward admitted. It was a rare thing when one twin could keep a secret from the other. "She was the one who talked you into rehab, Rose. Every time you've pushed her away, she's kept coming back." He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her slightly to face him. "Alice accepts you - good, bad and ugly." He ruffled her hair playfully, making the corner of Rosalie's lip quirk upward despite herself.

Edward sighed, putting his arm around her and holding her close. "You let her help you when you wouldn't even let me help you," he murmured. "I don't understand why you're so scared of her now that you're getting better."

**~0~**

Rosalie didn't like the word afraid, and she definitely didn't like it applying to her. For over a week after their birthday, Edward's question still plagued her.

Why did Alice scare her so much?

She understood her own fear in other arenas. It still irritated the ever loving hell out of her, but she understood. But her time with Alice was the brightest spot in her childhood - what was frighting about Alice as an adult?

And the more Rosalie dwelt on the subject, the more she had to face that she had feelings for Alice that weren't... usual.

Rosalie had been face to face with Hollywood movie stars, gorgeous men and women and hadn't so much as batted an eyelash. Yet here was this woman - this tiny woman with a bohemian sense of style and a job in a tiny shop on the boardwalk, and Rosalie was undone. When she thought of Alice, her face flushed. Sometimes she grinned hard, because remembering the way Alice laughed made Rosalie smile. Sometimes her heart twisted because...

Because she was scared.

As much as Rosalie could try to convince herself it was just a resurgence of her smitten, 14 year old self, she couldn't be certain. She needed to talk to Alice. She needed to at least sort out some of the messy state her mind was in, and she needed to face this fear.

That's how Rosalie found herself on the Santa Monica Pier, looking for the little shop she'd heard Alice describe to Esme. Henna tattoos - who'd have guessed anyone could make a living off of it?

Rosalie knew she had the right place when she spotted Charlotte bent over the ankle of a young girl. Her heart beat hard, her stomach twinging as she looked around, seeing if she could spot Alice. Then she found herself frowning when she realized Alice wasn't there.

She cleared her throat, stepping all the way inside the shop and pressing herself against the wall. Reluctantly, she shoved her hood down and took off her sunglasses so that Charlotte could recognize her.

The other woman's eyes narrowed as she looked up. "Can I help you?" she asked in a clipped tone, looking back at her work.

"I really need to talk to Alice," Rosalie started, reminding herself not to be annoyed at Charlotte.

Charlotte looked up again, searching her eyes before she looked over at a man who was hunkered down in the empty seat, his nose buried in a magazine. "Santiago, can you take over for just a minute?"

Santiago looked over, his nose and mouth screwed up in displeasure. "I'm on break."

"I'll make it up to you," Charlotte promised.

Reluctantly, Santiago switched places, and Charlotte led Rosalie outside. "Listen," the petite blond woman began, "I am sick to death of the way you treat Alice. Every time she goes out to see you, she comes back as near to tears as I've ever seen her."

Rosalie's heart ached with regret, beating out her annoyance at Charlotte sticking her nose where it didn't belong. Reminding herself again of taking responsibility for her actions, Rosalie nodded carefully. "I've been horrible to Alice," she said sincerely. "I know that. I'm not going to offer you any excuses. Just please... give me the chance to make it up to her."

Again, Charlotte studied her carefully. Then she sighed. "Fine. But I swear to God, if you fuck this up, I don't give a shit who the hell you are, I will kick your ass."

Rosalie fought a smirk because she was fairly sure she could take the diminutive woman easily. Instead, she nodded her acceptance of those terms. Charlotte gave her a set of simple directions.

The two women lived in a part of Los Angeles that Rosalie had never been in. It wasn't scary per se - it just wasn't as clean and well kept as she was used to. As she pulled up to the address Charlotte had given her, Rosalie wondered if she'd ever been in an apartment that wasn't a penthouse.

But all of her scattered thoughts drifted away when the door opened. Alice stood there, blinking in surprise. And though she was ridiculously nervous, her heart pounding away at a mile a minute, Rosalie couldn't help but feel that she'd made the right decision in coming here.

"Alice - why do you keep coming back when I treat you like shit?" she blurted.

As conversation starters went, Rosalie could have done better, but her head was too cluttered and if she started to think before she spoke, she was certain that she was going to get scared again.

Alice looked shocked. "What? Rose..."

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for everything I've done and said lately. You didn't deserve it. You've only ever been kind to me and all I do is hur-"

"Rosalie!" Alice stopped her. "For goodness sakes, come inside." She reached out, grabbing Rosalie by the arm and hauling her into the apartment. She sighed. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but I don't want to hear apologies from you."

"But-"

"No," Alice said, a stern warning look in her eyes. "I knew you'd come to your senses eventually." She simpered, looking pleased with herself. "No apology necessary. Besides, if you piss me off, this is  _my_ house now, and I can run  _you_ out."

Laughing, Alice ushered her in, giving her a tour of the little space she and Charlotte called home. It was a little run down, but it was clean and homey. Alice's room, though, was like stepping into a whole different world.

Though the room itself was tiny, the space was very well used. Each piece of spare wall, or corner of furniture was adorned with flair. The colors in here were bright and vibrant, but somehow not too overwhelming - not unlike Alice herself.

"Wow," Rosalie breathed when her eyes found a painstakingly pieced together mosaic of colored tiles on the ceiling. She sat as she gaped, and ended up laying down on the bed just so she could keep staring without hurting her neck. "You did this?" she asked in awe.

Alice nodded, sitting on the opposite side of the bed. "It's a hobby, I guess," she said amiably.

"It's beautiful," Rosalie said honestly. She looked over at Alice, her eyes sad as she thought of all the things she'd missed in her friend's life. "When did you learn how to do that?"

And for once, conversation between them seemed to flow naturally. Since Rosalie had consciously put her guard down the minute she'd made the decision to come find Alice, it was easier for her to simply lose herself in the blank space between the people she and Alice had been, and the people they'd become. They simply talked, making up for lost time while skirting around painful issues. Rosalie didn't talk about her agent or Royce or the drugs, and Alice didn't talk about exactly what it had taken to pick herself back up after the Cullens abandoned her years before.

Instead, the two women talked about friends and new talents. Eventually, as was natural, they asked each other about relationships, and that was when Rosalie began to feel self conscious again.

"It's just..." Rosalie took a deep breath, her eyes getting a little glassy as she thought back. "A lot of the girls... they did things. Together I mean." Her eyes flitted up toward the ceiling, not concentrating on anything in particular. "They did a lot of things period. Sometimes I would let them kiss me. And sometimes they were very gentle and sweet, and sometimes they were harder...deeper kisses. But it didn't matter. No matter how they kissed me, it never felt..."

Her voice had dwindled to less than a whisper. If only to hear her better, Alice's face was close to hers on the pillow. "What didn't you feel?" she asked, her soft voice as smooth and beautiful as a choir of bells.

Rosalie laughed - just a huff of air as two tears traced down her cheek. "You probably don't even remember."

Alice lifted her hand, brushing the back of her knuckles over Rosalie's cheek to wipe away the wetness there. "What, Rosie?" she said again.

Alice's silk-soft skin against her cheek seemed to spark a hidden warmth in the pit of her body. For long months - years if she was being honest with herself - Rosalie felt chilled to the bone. Yet she was discovering a plume of heat - a candle sparked from a long ignored ember - that was chasing away the coldness inside of her.

And she remembered.

Who knew what they were giggling about back then. They were 14 - what did they have to frown about? Rosalie remembered that they were rolling on Alice's bed, laughing together, but as their flailing calmed they found themselves tangled. Alice's head was on Rosalie's shoulder, their feet tangled together innocently. Their titters became less frequent, and the air around them had a strange energy.

Then Alice had pushed herself up, or maybe Rosalie ducked down. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that their lips found each other.

They were innocent kisses. As far as first kisses went, it could have been a lot more awkward. Then again, it could have been smoother. But what had stayed with Rosalie through all the years they were apart was the emotion behind it. It was simply... right. There was a peace she found that day, with Alice's tiny, lithe body pressing against hers, that she never was able to recapture. It didn't matter who she was kissing - boy or girl - it always felt off.

Alice shifted then, rolling onto her side completely. Brushing Rosalie's hair back from her face, she leaned down slowly, eyes just slightly uncertain and waiting for the other woman to protest. Rosalie's heart started to pound, but she didn't even consider moving. She was watching Alice's lips, remembering how they tasted like bubblegum lip gloss the last time "Do you mean this? Is this what I wouldn't remember?" the raven-haired woman whispered.

Just like the teenagers they once were, Alice leaned down just as Rosalie tilted her head up. Their lips met - Rosalie's pouting upper lip caught lightly between both of Alice's - kissing once, twice. The flicker of warmth at the center of Rosalie's being got stronger, brighter. She leaned forward, resisting the urge to whimper when Alice pulled away.

But before Rosalie could start to doubt, letting fear and insecurity chase away the tranquility she'd felt for the first time since she was a child, Alice smiled. It was such a beatific smile that it made Rose's heart ache in a strangely pleasant way. "Is that what you missed?"

"Yes," Rose admitted on a breath. Her body was trembling. She felt naked and utterly vulnerable, but the peace of Alice's presence was keeping her safe. She ran her fingers through the midnight-dark hair, stroking lightly. "It's never felt like that."

Slowly, Alice's smile melted, her look serious and her voice raw with emotion. "You asked why I kept coming back here... after everything?"

Rosalie nodded.

Alice looked her in the eyes - deep, fathomless black to Rosalie's bashful, hopeful blue. "Because you're home, Rosalie." A smile tugged at the edges of her mouth. "Home is where the heart is, you know," she teased, breaking some of the intensity that was building between them, bringing it back to a level that wasn't as terrifying. Her face was serious again then as she pulled the pad of a single finger across Rosalie's lips. "My heart has always been yours. I've known that since that very first kiss."

"I'm a wreck, Ali," Rosalie said, her voice breaking at the end. "You don't want to live here."

"Shhhh," Alice soothed. She rolled over, moving herself to kneel with one leg on either side of Rose's torso. She grabbed Rosalie's hands in her own, continuing to shush the other woman's tears as she kissed first her fingers then, leaning down, her lips.

Hating the tears that showed her weakness and vulnerability, Rosalie closed her eyes, trying to calm the sudden despair. The good, pure feeling that was welling in her – for Alice, because of Alice – frightened her. Good things could be tainted. Good things would be tainted.

"Rosie," Alice murmured quietly, her lips ghosting along Rosalie's cheek, and against the tip of her nose, "We're not 14 anymore. Your parents can't take you away, and I can make my own decisions to stay. Don't be afraid."

Rosalie's eyes fluttered open, surprised and wondering if Alice had picked up the ability to read minds somewhere along the way.

"You're shaking," Alice answered her unasked question. "Are you afraid of me?"

It took a minute for Rosalie to assess her own emotions. Some of the other girls she'd kissed had frightened her. They were a little more self-possessed than she was and a lot more crazy. But while Alice had a confidence about her that was more than Rosalie was capable of at the moment, her presence was also gentle. Comforting.

Home. Just like she said.

Rosalie shook her head. "Not of you," she answered softly.

Alice bent down again, kissing around her mouth. "Can I touch you?" she asked against her lips.

Nodding, Rosalie tentatively ran her fingers over Alice's arm. As Alice straightened up, Rose let her eyes roam the pleasing curvature of her body. While she found men attractive, Rosalie had always thought that womens' bodies were built with an artist's touch. It was the kind of natural beauty that one could only find in the magnificence of nature: the majesty of Niagara Falls, the grandeur of the Grand Canyon… and Alice's perfect body – lush where Rosalie trailed her hands and so much softer than a man's.

Alice was slow – in no rush. Again, Rosalie marveled in the difference between this and her other sexual encounters. Maybe it was just that she didn't have a good example to go off of, but this was a sharp contrast to her previous experiences. Where others had shoved their tongues down her throat, thrusting and dominating, Alice lapped like a cat at a saucer of milk. Her tongue teased, making Rosalie raise her head off the bed searching for more rather than being pressed down under an onslaught. Alice's hands matched her unhurried pace, stroking and petting the skin of Rosalie's neck, down to her shoulders and collarbone, and down further as her fingers undid buttons.

Sliding down her body, Alice left a slightly moist line of kisses from Rosalie's chin, across the arc of her neck, along her shoulders, and finally in a circle around her right breast. Rosalie felt her chest rise and fall rapidly, her voice strangling into quiet, needy whimpers the closer Alice got to her nipple. Finally, Alice closed her lips around one pink, hard nipple while her hands palmed the neglected breast, her thumb barely brushing Rosalie's taut left nipple.

With her hands petting and threading through Alice's long hair, Rosalie started to relax, giving herself over to the tactile sensations running through her body. Unconsciously she started to writhe, bucking her lower body up against Alice insistently.

When Alice snaked her hand between them, dipping under the hemline of Rosalie's pants to find her center, Rosalie gasped, her hips automatically rising to meet the other woman's fingers. Disengaging from her nipple with a wet pop, Alice looked up, smiling lazily with hooded eyes. "Do you like this?" she asked, circling Rosalie's clit with two fingers.

"Ali, yes," Rosalie whispered breathily.

Peppering kisses across the top of Rosalie's breasts, Alice continued to move her fingers around and inside of her. "Can I taste you, Rosie?"

Though her heart raced and her body trembled, Rosalie couldn't deny the physical reaction those words caused in her. Her hands tightened slightly in Alice's hair, her body wiggling restlessly. "Please. Please." _Please touch me. Please be gentle. I don't want to be scared with you._

Sliding further down the bed, Alice continued her maddeningly slow pace. She kissed first Rosalie's right nipple, then her left. She flicked her tongue along the line from the bottom of her breasts to her belly button. Alice's tongue, circling her belly button, tickled and titillated, making Rosalie's voice reedy as she called Alice's name, begging with that single word. All the while her fingers stroked languidly, varying in pressure and speed.

Alice straightened up again as she started working Rosalie's pants down. Part of her wondered if she should be doing more than just lying back on the pillows, flushed and panting with her hands palm up and open on either side of her head, but Rosalie was overwhelmed. The intensity of the emotion she felt was unlike anything she had ever experienced. When Alice touched her, it wasn't just the nerves of her skin reacting, but a pleasure that went down to her very core.

Before she could ask if there was something Alice wanted her to do, the raven-haired woman looked up into her eyes. Then Rose found she couldn't talk. She could hardly breathe. The candle's flicker of fire seemed to grow to a deep rooted passion that burned white hot and as bright as a solar flare.

This was love. The difference between sex, when she had to try to turn her brain off to only feel the sensations of her body, and this, where she couldn't think past the growing fervor inside her, was astounding.

Alice kissed her once on the lips, a hard, fervent kiss, before she crawled backward. It was so natural for Rosalie to spread her legs as Alice lay between them, kissing the inside of her thighs. Rosalie ran the heel of one foot up and down Alice's back, just needing to touch more of her. Then Alice was using her fingers to spread her open, and lowering her head to taste.

Rosalie wanted to weep. It was clear that Alice knew exactly what she was doing. Part of Rosalie wanted to mourn because they could have learned together – shyly exploring each others bodies as they grew. But a bigger part of her was glad. She was out of her depth and afraid. Alice's confidence and sureness kept her grounded in the beauty and pleasure of the moment.

And here, finally, Alice didn't go slow. No, she moved her tongue quickly, exploring, licking and flicking against all of Rosalie's most intimate parts. Her fingers only supplemented her actions, making Rosalie gasp at the separate sensations that hit her all at once. She threw her head back, one hand a little rougher than she wanted as she grasped the back of Alice's head while the other was drawn to her own breasts. She'd never been this noisy without faking it. The groans and cries that emanated from her were completely involuntary.

"Alicccee!" Rosalie screamed, her hips bucking upward wildly. Alice was a lot stronger than she looked, her arm coming up to keep Rosalie's lower body anchored to the bed as she worked. If she minded the way Rosalie grasped her hair desperately as she came, Alice never made a single noise of complaint. No, her moans were filled with just as much pleasure, listening to how the blond woman came undone under her.

Shaking with the strength of the orgasm that ripped through her with a violent ecstasy, Rosalie couldn't move for long minutes afterward. She was sure that she must have lost brain function as she couldn't get her words to work. Words didn't seem necessary though. Alice seemed content, kissing her way back up Rosalie's body, nuzzling her neck with her nose before claiming her lips. It had never been hot to taste herself in the mouth of another person before, but everything was different now. Rosalie moved her trembling hand to cup Alice's cheek as they kissed – slow and languid again.

And as they lay cuddled together, Rosalie knew Alice was right. She... this was home. If nothing else made sense, this did. They did.

**~0~**

_**"You brought this on yourself  
And it's high time you left it there  
Lie here and rest your head  
And dream of something else instead,"** _

_**~Slide, Dido** _

_**~Fin~** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for letting me participate in such a worthy cause. Thank you to jadedandboring and barburella for holding my hand and beta work.


End file.
